Everything started to roll perfectly about mid April. I was taking a break from things, people were getting sick, and so on. It is strange because for me, as a teacher's kid, I always knew May to be the busiest month of the year and it still is but I guess you could say that I feel at peace this May. I could turn everything that has happened to me or in my life about me and my anxiety. I could blame myself like I use to in the past. I can dwell on it too. I am realizing that I don't and it is making all the difference. It also helps when you have someone that cares about you and cares enough to listen to you complain at times. It is a easier way of getting things out instead of keeping them bottled up inside you.
It all started with me taking a big step back from teaching Sunday School at my church but it seems like God knew that I didn't need that on my plate right now in May. I am seeing Him at work because I stepped back and let someone else take over. Last two Sundays I have felt at peace about it. I have got to spend more time with my boyfriend whether going to Sunday School with him or spending more time with just him during church and not feeling so stressed out during it. If that wasn't enough, to get me to slow down some, I had to go fall on my knee. Let's not for get my cat and his nails. I had to take care of my cat and that is taking a lot of my time but it is fun. Learning as I go with that. He is just like my own child.
My knee falling couldn't happened at a better time because I have things to get ready for like birthdays and graduations. Although it hurts really bad, it is a blessing in disguise. My dad is having a couple of drs. appointments that are really serious to me at least. Anything with my parents is scary. With family moving out of state, I get time to be with them and not feel so stressed out. As you can see, I have a lot on my plate right now and I guess the knee falling is just a blessing because of it. I wouldn't have the day off to type this and get some other things done. It happened right before Mother's Day to where I had to rest and then before the 2 graduations that I am going to. I think I was just getting so stressed that I was trying to hurry and slipped on water but when you have so much on your mind it is hard not to think about other things.
It slows me down in the time where things get so busy or can be so busy. It slows me down to make me take time to enjoy the small things like the birthdays that I can decorate and wrap gifts for. Realizing how people are feeling during a certain time of year. I have just seen in this past few weeks that every little thing is a blessing and God knows what He is doing. He is making one thing happen so I can take time and see the other thing, good or bad. Sad that it has to come down to a really bruised up knee but God does what He has to to get our attention and to see that we are not irreplaceable but are needed in other areas of life right now at this moment. I swear if I haven't fallen on my knee there were be some gifts not given over the weekend because I would have never thought about it if I was busy.
I should say that in grown toenails on a kitty cat is a blessing too because this is really when all of these things started happening. I will say that I would rather have that or a hunting knee to get my attention then some of the other ways God has got me to wake up and got my attention in the past. I'm glad I can see the little, small things God is using now instead of Him having to use the big things right now. Has God ever tried to get your attention using little things like these but you couldn't see Him til He used something big? Have you had both happen to you like I have? If so, which one would you rather God used more of in your life.
My answer would be: I would rather have more hurt knees then anything else for Him to get my attention. I would rather see God after a hurt knee then after a big and bad life change. God does know the prefect timing and order of our life. He knows what needs to happen when and that's why we should trust Him always with everything. Here is a picture for me to remember this life lesson:
