The Night When God Turned My Life Around

God has His Way of getting things through to people there is no doubt about that and He got me to where I just surrendered right then and there to His Will. I work with abused and abandoned children and it is sad when they tell you their story like it is no big deal but they have to get it out somehow. I was rocking a little boy to sleep this past week and he went on and on about his life to where it made me cry in the dark room and surrender to God. This past week I have felt like I have been fighting God about what He wants me to do and why I am where I'm at even though I love it. I've been fighting Him about, for now, my future foster home. Can I do that or do I want to do something else? Do I want to stay here in AR or do I want to go somewhere else for good? Questions like those were asked this week. The little boy was talking about good and bad people, how he was scared of the dark and didn't want me to leave him, how his house was dirty and he had very little food. He even asked if the stars painted in the bedroom for the boys were for him. The tiniest dot on the wall. He saw a big dot as a start and asked if that was a bright star for him because that is where his Nana lives. After all that, how can you not give your life over to God because you know you are in way better hands then your own or anything earthly. On my drive home and the next day, it hit me, those questions are the same ones we ask God as humans, aka grown adults, here we are asking "is this for me when we have enough, am I safe if I do this for You, is this moment for me, or/and where are You." The little boy was questioning me like I sadly question God at times. God was showing me this is who you are being to Me right now. You are questioning just let go. That is when I look up towards the sky and was like "ok, God I'm done fighting you won." How many things do we take for granted? I also gave me because I thought how neat it would be to get those questions everyday as a foster parent: is this toy for me, is this bed and blanket for me, are these clothes for me, and be reminded that we have everything we need and to question God maybe more about the good things like why all these blessings or friends instead of doubting Him. Look to the positive side more often. Another funny thing is this little boy was talking about the stars and space and that is what my foster home is maybe going to be based around. It is like God is putting the theme of stars in my life for some reason.