You Should Not Be Comfortable

"Put your thoughts and feelings aside and only hear God. God is always growing and changing us, and it is good not to be comfortable, because if we are comfortable we are not open to the change God could be making in us. God will put the answers on our hearts.......all in His Timing."
This great advice was given to me by a college friend 3 years ago and it still stands true in my life today because I'm not done changing. It was when I was going through some changing in my life. My friend also gave me steps in that letter that I just recongized this season of my life. When you want to know something or have questions, when should
ask the Right One and that is God. If we are in the middle of trying to firugre out which way to go,
we need to pray and have others pray for us.
 Pray for wisdom and guidence and for His Will to be done in our lives. I got that back then in college when this was wrote but something I didn't get and am learning a lot right now is
"talking to some trusted others about what is going on in my life and what I am thinking."
I looked at that line and thought it just meant my closest friends which it can but we also need older and wiser people in our lives. We need them to see what they have been through and what they did to get through it. We need to bounce our ideas off of them to see if they will even work because they could sound great to us but not work in real life. We might have to be told over a million of times what we need to work on in our lives to get to the next step where we want to be. I'm talking to a lot of people (friends) right now. Trying to be more open and vaulable so they can see the true me as I'm learning the true me. People can't know us or help us if we don't show them who we are. God is growing and changing me this way too because I've always been in the comfort zone of just me and not sharing who I am but just listening to the other people. If I want to be a leader or anything if I truly want to care about people and have real relationships and friendships with them then I need to open up more and I'm learning. I'm stepping out of my "comfort zone" so that God can change me into who He knows I can be and do what He knows I can do. Sometimes we think our "comfort zones" are moving somewhere or getting a new job or new friends. We never really think about it has ever having to do with our personality but it does. We get so caught up in things and like it that way but once we see that way doesn't work we need to change that. I think finilly, no, I know that what I have been doing in the past years have not work so I'm trying something new. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone slowly but surely and sometimes when you have been in that "zone" for so long that is what it takes. When I say talking to some others about things, I mean things like what is truly bothering us, our dreams, and just every day life. People can give us prepective that we can't see or they can encourage us towards our dreams because no matter who you are making our dreams come true is hard and we need some kind of encouragement. I know I share a lot on this blog but that is because I hope people will read it and get something from it that they can use in their life. One of my goals is to share things like this by talking one on one with someone who really needs it instead of writing it on here but for now this will work. Do you have a "comfort zone" you need to step out of even if it has to do with your personality? Have you been doing the same thing over and it just hasn't worked at all? It is time to let God change and grow you? I couldn't be more thankful for that letter from my friend and if only they knew how much it meant to me in the past 2 years. It has blessed and helped me see things in a different light. Yes, just a simple letter written at least 3 years ago and that has been kept in my Bible ever since.  You never know what a little thing can do in a life of a person.

You Are the Best of Them All!

"You are the best of them all!" one of my little boys said to me at work. God knows what you need to hear at the right time. He has given me moments with the same little boy this week so far. First, it's I want to be a class teacher like you." and now it is "You are the best of them all!" I was so touch that the little boy would think of me as the best of them all and was kind of prideful at work about it on the inside.  I also got to thinking okay, grown men you need to take some advice from this little boy. Then God like He always does humbled me with it after work after I had time to think about it some. When you really think about the saying, "You are the best of them all!" What comes to mind? In the situation I am in it's I'm the best teacher or the best caregiver that this child has had. When it comes in a situation with God and us, He is telling us "You are the best of them all!" It is giving His Son up for us, sinners. It means that we each mean the most to Him and He cared about us enough to let His Son die for us. We aren't the best, we a far from the best but as this little boy and God sees there is nothing wrong with us. Our sins are gone. We have been washed white as snow. Because we are the best of them all, God has a plan that is made just to fit us because we are the best one for that plan! He will lead us to that plan. He give us what is best for us to get to that plan. It might not be easy or it might not be in the time that we want it right away but it is the best for us. God knows what He is doing and I know a lot of times I forget that espically here lately with things changing and learning more about myself. I have to keep reminding myself, "Yeah, I might not be the best to someone else or the way someone else wants me to be but I'm the way God wants me to be and that is the best of all!" Not only does God look down on us as being the best out of a million people but we need to LOVE HIM and look to Him as He is the best in this world! It goes both ways. When we look to Him as him being the best then we can be promised that He will give us the best for us because we are trusting Him and looking at things His way not our own or of this world. Shout out to the girls that read this: When you are alone and starting to think there is no guy out there for you, JUST REMEMBER TO GOD YOU ARE THE BEST OF THEM ALL! YOU ARE THE BEAUTIFUL, SMARTEST, COMPASSIONATE, HAPPIEST, OUTGOING, and whatever else you want to put in this sentance for you. YOU ARE THE BEST TO GOD AND NO ONE CAN BEAT THAT! GOD IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE US TRULY HAPPY. HE IS THE BEST GUY OF ALL!

A Small, Country Princess in a Big City

Once upon a time there was this little, country Princess that lived in a big city. She had live in the country or at least in a small town all her life and thought it would be neat to move to the big city because of all the adventures that she could have in the city. She spent about 2 years there and decided she really didn't like it as much as the country. The city was fine but when she was able to go out to the country she felt like a child. She could dance in the rain puddles on gravel roads, walk in the woods, fish in the pond, and all the things you could do outdoors. There was nobody around but the people you knew and you wouldn't get lost so easily. She became close to the people she was around. She didn't have all these different people that she felt like she had to hang out with. There was some good in the city but it stressed her out a lot. She just had this feeling and it was a happy feeling when she was in country everything was right with the world. She loved hanging outdoors instead of a coffee shop or the movies. She loved the simple things she grew up with even though she didn't know that at the time. She tried to make things harder in the city because she felt like she had to be a strong girl to get around the city and get to know people. She would go back to the simple things in her quite time and enjoy them by herself. She really wanted someone to enjoy these things with but there was no one with her. No one to dance with her in the rain puddles, watch the lighting shows, or walk in the woods. She started to go to tractor pulls again by herself and has been wanting to go to a rodeo by herself or with someone. She always listens to that country music or goes back and forth from that to Christian. She has this dream of a perfect family and being a stay at home mom with the children while her husband goes off to work whether just at a store or with his own bussiness. This is all that this little, country girl desired in her heart. This was her simple dream but yet it seemed so far off. She gave up and moved to the city and worked at a job forgetting who she really was deep down and her true desires. Thinking that she was going to get that adventure that she always wanted but really she didn't. It was harder living in the city because she had to hold a standard or that is how she felt. She had to hide that country girl within her and she didn't like it. She missed living out in the country, the peacefulness, the outdoors, and other things. She missed those sunrises and sunsets and being outside when it would rain every time. She missed seeing the clear night sky because the lights would get in the way and the lighting bugs during the summer. She missed being able to run around a yard and trying to catch them to put them in a jar. She wasn't the type for big companies and not being able to spend time with her family and friends. The people that she cared about the most and some of them didn't even know that. She missed not being around her family that often. Time was the most important thing to her and not just any time but quality time and she couldn't get that in a big city where everything was busy all the time. Where there was no break to talk. Where everyone just had to leave for work or keep working so they could stay home and just sit down to talk. She almost forgot what the country really felt like until she went back to a friends' house that was out in the country when she was a grown up. She let her daughter look into the chicken pen along with her sons where she use to pick the eggs from and let her climb the gate that led them into the woods to the barn. Her daughter even climbed the gate to the chicken pen to get a closer look. She missed the deer eating in her backyard and seeing them every morning. She needed a country prince to come and save her from this big mess that she called "the city" so she wouldn't have to keep fighting for her own life by herself. The big city and her did not get along. A small, country Princess should not live in a big city.

It Isn't the Simple Things that Count

"It isn't the simple things that count, it is the very simple things that count." It is 4:30 in the morning on a Saturday and I have this big headache and couldn't sleep so I thought I would write here because it has been awhile and a week. Where do I start? God is growing me a lot with my job and personal life this week. He has made me see things at my job that matter and wants me to do bigger things with my personal life and friendships. I saw a lot this week at work the saying that I started this entery out with and I'll say it again. "It isn't the simple things that count, it is the very simple things that count." That saying came to me this week at work when one of my little boys' sister smelled her brother (my little boy) and came up to me and said, "Thank you for making my brother smell so good. He hasn't smelled that way in a long time." I got to thinking how much to do take smelling good for grant whether it is taking a bath or putting smell good spray on. Then later on this week one my my girls that has a speech problem and would talk very little and was quite most of the time said my name so clearly. Yeah, it was "Tiffany" instead of "Tiffney" but it was close and great for her. She said it when she needed something without being pompt to and she said it a lot the day before she left. Then there was another one of my little boys that came up with playing "airplane" and that is where the child would lay on your legs on the stomache and you would lift them in the air. I use to play that when I was a little kid and I remember my "little" brother loving that game too. The children got me thinking too about the simple things they love to do. They love to play the simple games that we as blessed people take for grant like Duck, Duck, Goose, Follow the Leader, or Simon Says. It was like I knew what he was talking about after he explained it to me and how many people would get it because it is so random. Then I have a little boy that just needs someone to listen to him. Some adult to listen to him. He gets so agressive when he is around other children but that is because he wants one on one and he has so much anger inside him for a little child it is sad to see. He made me think that listening is important and I'm a person that loves to listen to my friends but lately I haven't been doing that or recogizing what they need around me. I'm learning that no matter the reason of these abandoned, abused, or nelegeted children and they want is attention and love even for the simplest things because they haven't been given it.  They don't know how to play these games because no one ever spent the time to play with them. As people that are truly blessed with everything, we shouldn't complain about anything. We have far more then these children have. That little girl saying "Thank you" to be just was like an awake up call for me from God again. It was like He was saying, "Hey Tiff, stop complaining and worrying about things you have everything you need plus more. You have family and friends who care and love you. They might not show it at times but they do. You need to hold on to them." All this came after a weekend that was hard for me for some reason. I don't know if I've just been really busy and because of that I have been complaining a lot and not seeing the very simple things or what but this week was an eye opener for me. We can be so consume with ourselves as Christians or just human brings that we forget why we were placed here on the 1st place. Why God picked us to show the world His Love. I know there are more simple things that happened this week at work but those are just some of the main ones I remember for now. The saying, "It Isn't the simple things that count, but the very simple things that count", could that describe God's Grace for us Christians. We didn't deserve it but yet all Jesus had to do with a simple but hard thing and that was dieing in our place even though He was perfect and we weren't. I know the children at work look up to the staff as their savior, mommy, caretaker, or whatever they call us. Don't we do that to Jesus? Just something to dwell your mind on and to make you see how truly blessed we are.

When I'm in the Dark

Strange title I know but right now at this stage in my life that is how I feel. I really need to take the advice that I have been giving to my children lately about the dark. I have put this girl to bed twice this past week that is scared of the dark and I been giving her advice that I just realized tonight that I need to be listening to along too. First night it was about how she was scared of the dark. She wanted the door open and to lay where she could see the light coming in. She also wanted to see that there was a way out. I sat there talking to her and telling her that she was safe with us and that if she woke up and needed to she could walk out the door and someone would be there for her. She needed me to sit by her on the floor and just talk to her about things. She wanted someone to listen to her. The next night was the same thing but it was more listening to her then seeing the light but she still needed to see the light for a bit. When she would cry, she would cry for mommy and keep saying "mommy" and "I miss my mommy." Having these talks with her made me feel great and I didn't know why but I could get her to bed and the other person couldn't but that wasn't it at all I noticed tonight. It was because I was telling her what I need to do with God and how our relationship should be with God. When we are in the dark, we are crying, "Daddy". He comes to to save us by bring the light to us and making us see little by little what we are meant for and what we mean to Him. He opens the way or the path for us but then we tend to close the door again going to other thoughts because we like those better. It is then that we cry out to Him again. When we see the light we are happy and love talking to Him and we don't realize that we have closed the door on Him until it is completely dark and we are in the room by ourself. He is always willing to come back and tell us, "You are safe, I am here, You might want to try things on your own but you can always come back because the door is always open." God just sits by us listening to us talk on and on about what is bothering us although He already knows what we are going through. He cares that much. It is just strange how I can be speaking to the children with things I really need and not know it until the weekend or down time when I have some. When the girl finilly calmed down and went to sleep, she looked so peaceful. That is what I felt this week is peace or so I thought when I thought about certain things but yet tonight I just let it all go. Why? I felt like I was on another world. I should have known something was up and I was going to break any time now but why do I do that? Why can't I just stay at peace and enjoy it? Enjoy the ride to where God is taking me? Why do I have to be the one in control? I am such a control freak! I hate it! It messes everything up for me and pushes everyone I really care about away. Why can't I just let God have it and be done with it? The answer: I am a human that has sin in her life no matter what.  Hope this makes sense.

Take Delight in the Lord

Lately, my posts have been about my dreams and the country. They went from being all about Guatemala and missions to the good, ole country. Why? I don't know. I have been thinking a lot lately about the country and about my heart's desires and I'm realizing really strange things. I've always been the small town type of girl, I will admit. I grew up in a small town and graduated from a small high school and always dreamed of living out in the country. Every summer my family would take vactions to Montana when I was younger. I thought it was just a phase I was going through. That I would grow out of it once I knew what more was out in the world but I don't think I'm going to and that is fine by me. I grew up on the farm my 1st 4 years of life and loved it. I love going back to this day and just feeling the peace and quite there. Dinfantly the memories of me as a little girl too playing with the chicks, walking in the woods, playing in the pond. Ok, I better stop before I embrass myself on here.  I got to thinking too who means the most to me in my life and really it is my grandpa, grandad, dad, a grown friend, and my FFA teacher. All of them have passed away expect my grown friend and dad. It was and is those I look to, those who made me the strong girl I am today. Those that believe in me. Those that showed me what working hard really meant but yet at the same time you can live the simple life and have fun too. Fun in the outdoors like fishing, walking, camping, hunting, and many other things. It's funny because I have a friend from the country right now that I look up to in so many ways and they don't know that. They have been working hard for what they have from nothing and you can see it in so many ways. I always use to kid that I wanted a log cabin in the mountains in Montana but right now that sounds so good. I try to run away from all of this but it always comes back to my heart. When it comes back, that is where I find peace. It is so funny because I grew up on country music, aka Johnny Cash, Randy Travis, Geogre Strait, and some others.
I looked at the verse in the Bible that says, "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires." (Psalm 37:4) and I wonder are these really my heart's desires?
 Is this my "big" dream? I'm thinking that is my life verse right now. You can't take the country out of the girl. No matter how hard you try. There will still be some stubbornness and tough love in her. Is my "big" dream the simple, country dream?
One of my friends said recently, "I hope all of you dream, and dream big!"
I don't feel like I'm dreaming that big but it is what I want in life. I also what to be a stay at home mom and always wanted to be that and that is a big part of the country dream too. Every women I know was one or had a little job like a bank or church job so she could spend more time at home. Is that why I'm also in the daycare/preschool/non-profit job area? This is probably the longest entery I have wrote in awhile but I had to get it all out there.

A Simple, Country Prayer

Dear Daddy,

I miss my simple, country life and Montana. I would give anything to go on the lake or fishing or take a walk in the woods again. I would give anything to touch chickens and any kind of farm animals again. You know this country girl has always wanted to ride a tractor. Is this my real dream deep down to live in the country and stay at home on the farm? Could I do that? Could I settle like that and work at a church? It's the simple things that count the most.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

I could go into more details but I don't want to embrass anyone if they read this. I'm truly a country girl at heart and that is where I might end up too. Gathering the eggs, milking the cows, planting garden, walking in the woods, laying on the grass at night looking up at the moon and the stars, and fishing and even dare might I say hunting.  There is no better way to live life!

God Will Bring me Back to this Land

A friend gave me these chapters because I've been struggling with things since I have been back from Guatemala and it just seems like more things just keep piling up one by one. I'm in the mood to fix everything because I see things that need to be fixed and my heart goes out to those things. It is just a after mission trip feeling. Really my friend gave me the chapters 29-31 to look at because they were about how Jacob was in a situation for so long without getting what he deserved and he ran away from it but faced it when it found him. I read a little before because I was just interested in what happened before and that is what really caught my attention in chapter 28 of Genesis. I was reading it over and I felt like God was saying this about Guatemala to me and with everything that is going on right now in my life. 

"What's more, I will be with you wherever you go. I will someday bring you back safely to this land (aka Guatemala). I will be with you constantly until I have finished giving you everything I have promised (in the states)."-Genesis 28:15

When you read the next 3 chapters, you will see that God does bring Jacob back to the land he was sleeping on. Just a thought I might write more on it later after I have time to look into and think about it deeper and longer.