When I'm in the Dark

Strange title I know but right now at this stage in my life that is how I feel. I really need to take the advice that I have been giving to my children lately about the dark. I have put this girl to bed twice this past week that is scared of the dark and I been giving her advice that I just realized tonight that I need to be listening to along too. First night it was about how she was scared of the dark. She wanted the door open and to lay where she could see the light coming in. She also wanted to see that there was a way out. I sat there talking to her and telling her that she was safe with us and that if she woke up and needed to she could walk out the door and someone would be there for her. She needed me to sit by her on the floor and just talk to her about things. She wanted someone to listen to her. The next night was the same thing but it was more listening to her then seeing the light but she still needed to see the light for a bit. When she would cry, she would cry for mommy and keep saying "mommy" and "I miss my mommy." Having these talks with her made me feel great and I didn't know why but I could get her to bed and the other person couldn't but that wasn't it at all I noticed tonight. It was because I was telling her what I need to do with God and how our relationship should be with God. When we are in the dark, we are crying, "Daddy". He comes to to save us by bring the light to us and making us see little by little what we are meant for and what we mean to Him. He opens the way or the path for us but then we tend to close the door again going to other thoughts because we like those better. It is then that we cry out to Him again. When we see the light we are happy and love talking to Him and we don't realize that we have closed the door on Him until it is completely dark and we are in the room by ourself. He is always willing to come back and tell us, "You are safe, I am here, You might want to try things on your own but you can always come back because the door is always open." God just sits by us listening to us talk on and on about what is bothering us although He already knows what we are going through. He cares that much. It is just strange how I can be speaking to the children with things I really need and not know it until the weekend or down time when I have some. When the girl finilly calmed down and went to sleep, she looked so peaceful. That is what I felt this week is peace or so I thought when I thought about certain things but yet tonight I just let it all go. Why? I felt like I was on another world. I should have known something was up and I was going to break any time now but why do I do that? Why can't I just stay at peace and enjoy it? Enjoy the ride to where God is taking me? Why do I have to be the one in control? I am such a control freak! I hate it! It messes everything up for me and pushes everyone I really care about away. Why can't I just let God have it and be done with it? The answer: I am a human that has sin in her life no matter what.  Hope this makes sense.