Were You Ever Scared?

          Were you ever scared? Is a question that I never thought I would get asked but I did by a friend not too long ago. My answer to that question was a big YES! I am the worried and scared person of all.  I do nothing without being scared or worried. That is what drives me to do the things I want to some times. I am so scared or worried that I turn to God and then when I think He has opened the door or gave me a chance I go for it and pray for the best. I would say that everything in my life or any great thing in my life I did when I was scared but that is how God pushes us to the best we can be sometimes. He uses our weaknesses and mine happens to be scared all the time.
         I don't like change at all. It scares me. I was scared to start college especially a college I didn't know anything about or really wanted to go to in the first place but then it turned out the best 5 years of my life. I was scared trying certain clubs in college and doing different events on the grounds but some of those clubs and events are my most memorable. I was even scared to go up to some of the people that I now call great friends and all of that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't scared.
         I was scared to move to AR and now I love it here. I couldn't do it by myself at all so God, by chance, gave my big brother a job down here too because he knew I couldn't do it alone. The first year was hard and I wanted to go back home so many times but I knew I had to stay for a reason and I did. Now I love it and I don't want to leave it. I had to find a new church, which I did and still go to this day and love it to no ends. Took me a while to find a job that I love but I don't regret the ones I have lost because they have taught me things new and old. Now I do love the job I have and it is the best one yet. I'm liking living by myself more and more each year.
         All this doesn't mean that I don't get scared anymore though.  I still don't know what I am suppose to do for the rest of my life. I could and will name a few things that I'm still scared of in my life. Sadly, that scared feeling never stops because you are always getting into a new chapter when you are growing up and even afterwards. You just have to give it all to God and trust Him and believe me I know easier said then done. Right now, I am scared about my finances and my job. How can I love what I do but yet have the money for the life I want to live?
        When you have to look for a new job, you might be scared that it will take forever but what I have learned is that you just need to live in that moment. Sometimes you could be scared of meeting a friend's family or parents but if you believe it is the right thing to do then you just need to do it. You could be scared for a close friend for all these years but then you realize they are doing better then you could ever think of. You could also be scared of buying a "real" house instead of an apartment because of all the work that goes into looking and buying a house but how will you know if you never try to get a house. You might be scared of the new children and their parents coming into your room in a month or the next few months. Might be scared that it isn't prefect for them or that you aren't perfect enough for them.
         You might be so scared of things because they are not fitting together like you want them to at a certain point in your life but that doesn't mean it won't happen down the road. You might be scared that your friend just totally abandoned church but you will find out they didn't, they were just too busy for some time and you should have known better all along. You might be scared because you are going to lose a close family member but you know it is better for them. Might be scared of admitting that there might be something wrong with you mentally but you need to get the help and the encouragement to help you get through it. This being scared, kind of, goes into my mental mind set. I am probably more scared then most people that I know.
          All these things or some of these things could come down on you and when I say some I mean 5 or 6 things at a time and you are just so scared for your life that you are homesick and want to go back to your parents' house for a long while to sort it all out or just get away from it all. I have been there and done that. It isn't a good feeling but yet afterwards you know what you really want and can handle in the moment. Then you give the rest to God and trust Him with your life and all the good and bad things in it. I am even scared when I think about the future ahead of me because I don't have a plan like I use to or thought I use to. I gave the planning up a long time ago and just gave everything to God. Yes, that might scare me but it will be worth it someday because it will be better then I could have ever thought of.
         All this to answer this one little question: Were you ever scared? Yes, I was and still am. I don't think you will get over being scared in life. It might not seem like I am, though, because I know The One who holds tomorrow in His Hands. I have seen one set of footprints where I should have seen two but it was Him who was carrying me through those times. God has a plan for my future and I just have to lean on Him for everything because I know He Loves me and wants what is best for me in the end.