Rant About Children

           I know the title might sound a little iffy but there is a point to it. There is also a point to this entry I am writing and it is not to better myself or anything along those lines. It just goes to show how passionate I am about the children in my life. In my almost 10 years of being in the childcare field, I have seen it all. All from rich families to poor families to families taking drugs. A friend of mine was ranting about how he saw a few boys on the dirt roads doing something that was worth hiding from everyone. Drugs, maybe? Doesn't know. And I am not saying that confronting them and thinking about it all day is not hard. I know for my friend, youth age really hits home for my friend so it could have been hard to see that especially around where my friend grew up.
            Now I will say growing up in one of the top meth capitals of central MO that would be no problem for me. I would have probably said something to them and then called the police with the info. I say that but would I really? I don't know and won't know until it happens to me. When it comes to children of any age and types, don't get me started in on that. I have a lot to say about children in every which way you might want it. I have worked with all kinds like I said from the start. Rich children just annoy me because they expect everything to be done for them but they know how to do it.
            Poor children and children from drugs just make me sad. I have now worked in two areas where parents either didn't care or was low income or where just one parent cared and not the other. Personally, I would rather work with the children longer that I didn't know their parents. I know some people are going to get on to me for writing this entry but it needs to be said. Children these days aren't getting what they have in the past and it bugs the living ______out of me and yes fill in the blank and it's right. Especially as a women who wants children of her own someday, it hurts even worse. It's not that I can't have them at all, the time just hasn't came for me.
           I know some women who had to adopt because they couldn't have children and if they work where I worked they were be heartbroken. I can give so many examples of parents not caring for their children that it is sick. When you have to go to work with that everyday, it does get hard at times. You do need strength, patience, and wisdom and a lot more other things from God. Sometimes I don't know how other workers get by a day if they don't believe in God because some days He is the only thing I am hanging on to at the end of the day.
          I will also start to say but not finish because I could be up another whole hour. Today's world is really messing our children up so bad that it is sad. I don't just mean the family way but also material things, environmental things, and anything else you can think of. Where did we get so of topic with these children? When did we not give a care anymore? When did we let them slide down by our sides? I am sure I would get answers having to do with one presidential campaign to another and how it ran the educational department but it isn't just about that. It is about us being human beings. We did we, as human beings, think that our children are less then things?
           We are going to lose the most valuable things/people we have if we are not careful even in the next few years. We are going to lose them because we are expecting way too much from them when they are little. That is another whole topic that I could rant on too. Sorry, my friend's rant kind of ramped me up on this topic. I already had a day today and the rant made it worse. You all reading this can blame my friend for this rant. LOL! Just kidding. Please don't. I usually don't get worked up about things but when it comes to children I do especially right now in this moment of my life because I can't have children yet.
          There will be another entry coming sometime in the next two weeks, if not this weekend, but that might be a little nicer then this one about how to treat a childcare worker because we take care of your children but we don't get the respect that we deserve.

Going to Two Churches

             My first reaction when I started going to two churches was that I had to pick just one by comparing them. I was going to write an entry called "Comparing Churches" but then I came to realize something. God must want me to go to both churches for a little while because of what is being taught. I have been going to the two churches for about a month or a little more and I am getting a lot out of both of them. Though it does get really busy after awhile, I am trying to hang in there until I feel like letting go of my old church. I will admit last Sunday I almost cried for the first time at a church for awhile but that week before was just a really hard week for me. Could have been a little bit of both.
             I will say my Saturday night church really hits the personal for me and it seems like it is what I need at that moment in time. I was going to stop going to my Saturday night church but the sermons they are teaching now are so good. I might stop going when the finish these sermons. The other church, though, is giving me, I think, the bigger picture of what my life could be or needs to be. It is giving me the goals that I need to reach for and be happy with. It is giving me a sight of who I can be in that church and who I was in the past but somewhere along the way I lost that someone.
            I was also thinking why is God having me go to these two churches, don't I have anything better to do with my life and sadly the answer is, "no". I think I am also at a very special part of my life where I need that extra teaching and encouragement in God. I mean I am 30 and still single. Not anywhere near where I thought I would be while I was in college or before that. It is also good to know that you have a big church where you can feel alone and just focus on God by yourself and friends are there that are closer to your age. Yet you have this other church that is smaller and you get to meet some new people because it is smaller and you are involved in the little things going on in that church.
            I know I will have to give up one in the near future because of some of the other things that I am planning on doing and I need time for those things but for now it is good. To be honest, I think going to those two different churches does help me get through the week too since everything there is new too. I know this is a strange way to look at things right now but that is how I am going to do it. God is gently changing me over to a new church because He knows that I don't like sudden change but yet at the same time He is teaching me and showing me that there might be a purpose of going to the other church through the my old church. If that makes any sense at all.
             I will say too that my new church is growing bigger everyday and there are things that I could do/start there or be more involved there where as, my old church is just too big for me in all areas. I think it is still strange going to two churches at the same time but I know I will look on this and laugh. I will say while looking for a church this is the longest I have been going to a new one since I have moved here, which is a good thing. Other times I would try different churches out and I would go one or two Sundays and then stop going. I just feel like God wants me at this new church but until I get really involved or use to it, I won't stop going to the big one.
              There are some days and points in days that I am thinking that God is trying to keep me from saying something I will regret to others later on in my life. There is that hope of knowing that it will happen that the exit will come but until then I just have to wait and worship with my life like I have been and keep hoping and believing and trusting in God for the impossible to happen. If you knew what I call the "impossible" some of you would think it is funny. I guess in a way going to these two churches at the same time is teaching me something about life and how to live it. They are just making me stronger together. I just hope it shows on my outward appearances as well as my inside too.

Sunday With the Nephew

          I just have to write this out because I just thought it was strange yet a good aunt and nephew memory. This is more of a memory entry, which means it is going to be a short one instead of a long one. I hung out with my nephew last Sunday because he is in Fayetteville and I barely see him to start with. I know that is sad so I made a point to see him this month. We really didn't plan anything to do so we just planned it by ear, which was fun in itself.
          It is not surprising what we did. It just shows what family we come fun. I went up to Fayetteville after church last Sunday and we did have lunch and coffee planned at the place where my nephew works because I never tried their coffee and wanted to so I can the chance. We spent about a hour there and ate lunch. I had a yummy crepe for lunch, which was different because I usually just have desert crepe. It was filled with sweet potatoes, some little rice, and other things in it. It was a very cold and cloudy day but we still walked around the square.
           We tried to go to some antique shops but none of them were open on a Sunday. We did go to the Fayetteville Library and it was very big and different compared to the Bentonville one. It also had a nice place to sit on top of it with swings and everything so we spent a little time there but not too much because it was windy, which just made it colder. Where we sat from, I could see the Ozark mountains in the distance. It did have a pretty amazing view yet it was crazy to see with some of the buildings around it too.
             We are a book loving family and you could tell that last Sunday. Not only did we go to the library but we are also to the little old bookstore that was on the square. We spent probably about a hour there too, maybe a little more. My nephew did buy a couple of books but, surprisingly, I didn't. It was still fun to look though. I looked through the old children's book section, religion section, poety section, and cookbook section as well. Of course, it was warmer in there then it was at the library. Then I went back home to Bentonville and rested for a little bit because I started to make supper and get ready for the week.
               It is just fun when you have family that you can do those simple things with and have fun at the same time. I mean those things can be done with friends too but they would really have to understand how much I enjoy doing just that. It is not a hobby you can really explain to people as other hobbies are. Where with family, they know because they like it too because they were raised near the same way. I guess you can say that that is the greek part in my family. We are all book lovers. I mean you could even say I got the love of reading from my mom, which means my nephew got the love of reading and books from his grandma. I guess it is a tradition that is past down. It might be a strange tradition but yet it could be one.
              I know this is a strange entry and I am sorry about that if you didn't like it. Like I said at the start of it, it was more of a memory wrote down for me but yet there were some good pointers in it too that could really make other people think. That time was so simple but yet it meant a lot and I saw a lot in it.

Staying on Track

What does God's Word say about this? (Write it down)


What is His promise in this situation? (Hold tight to that)


Where is He leading me? (Take one step toward that)

Fixer Upper-A Biblical View

Prayer:

"Will you renovate me?"

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Psalm 4:4-5 The Message (MSG)

4-5 Complain if you must, but don’t lash out.
Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking.
Build your case before God and wait for his verdict.

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-Anger gives us:
       -a message
       -opportunities
       -It is a secondary emotion usually there is
        another feeling under it like fear or
        or helplessness anxiety or frustration.

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-Argument with God

         -Inadequacy
                -promise
         -Ignorance
                 -Revelation
         -Incredibility
                 -Assurance
         -Inarticulateness
                 -Affirmation
         -Insubordination
                  -Correction
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         I love how the verse above really put it and it is even from "The Message". It simply puts it like this when you paraphrase it: "You can go ahead and complain about things but don't lash out to people. Keep your month shut and let your heart do the talking. Talk to God about it and tell Him what is wrong and ask Him what you should do before you do anything." The first sentence really doesn't hit home for me as much as the last two sentences do. They are a good reminder for us to take our problems to God first and talk to Him about them. It is also a good reminder about how the heart can be gentle and sweet if we let it.
         I know for me in a lot of situations, I do talk to God about it first and then that is when He turns my heart around and I want to do something good or learn something from that situation that made me angry. Talking to God also helps me to calm down before I lash out and complain because words can be hurtful and can harm relationships and friendships. Sometimes it means that you let your heart do the mean talking towards God and then God can calm it down to where it can be used to be gentle and kind. It is kind of hard to explain but it does happen that way or near that way. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding sometimes or should I say most of the time.
         Anger gives us a lot of things but we need to be careful on how we use it. It can be used for the good and the bad. Anger can give us a message. The message can be that we have something deep down that is really bothering us. That is why it is a secondary emotion. I know for me that deep down it could be fear, anxiety, helplessness, and/or frustration. Sometimes it can give us opportunities to do things that we need to do like forgive or talk something out with someone.
          As people of God, we want to follow the second words above, not the first. If we follow the first words, then we are not following God at all. First, we need to trust in His Promises. Second, we need a revelation of what God wants from us. Third, we need the assurance and affirmation to know how God wants us to live for Him. Fourth, God will give us correction when and if we need it. When we remember that anger is a secondary emotion and that we need to take it to God so He can show us what is really wrong, then it is then that we care and love the people around us.

Lives Could Flash Before Us

          I usually don't write to talk about the news or match up with it but I had my eyes opened lately and it hurts. We never know when a person will come into a school to hurt people in any ways that person can. I know here lately that my niece's Jr. High had to move to the high school because of a threat. Honestly, I didn't think anything of it till I had a scare near me. I don't think I can say much about the situation but I will say this.
            The person can have a gun or just be under the influence of drugs. It doesn't matter if when outlawed guns because people would find a way to kill if they wanted to do it. They would take enough drugs to think they are strong and can beat people up. If they are mad enough, they can either find a way or make a way. Either way, those people are dangerous and they could be anywhere. They literally are everywhere because of the world we live in. I use to think one of my other jobs were dangerous up til today. I knew I was taken care of children who had already been taken away from their parents and put in the shelter. I knew about the possibility of parents coming for them when they couldn't.
              Now I don't know when and if their parents will come or how they will come. I thought the shelter was a really sad place but at least they were safe for the most part. The children I work with aren't safe all the time. That scares me and breaks my heart. Just seeing the children I work with and getting to know them is sad. They do need help but yet they can't help themselves. I want to help and I am but at the same time it is so hard. How can I be the Light of Jesus to these children and parents? 

              Not only to these children but to the people I really care about. That is what went across my mind today when I was thinking about everything that was going on. What if something went wrong and I got hurt? Would the people I care about and love the most know that I do? We never know when our last day is. We are not suppose to either. I know some of you would say, "That is when we should show love all the time". I know that but we get so caught up in the world. It is strange how people or even little children show us that no matter what we go through, we can get through it with a smile our on face. 

             I have seen children in the hospital with smiles on their faces. I have heard stories from teenagers that have been in a shelter about how they love to share the Good News about God and would share it with everybody if she could. I've even seen children with a smile on their face when things in their lives are going out of control. I have even seen the devil in children's eyes and I am not lying about that part. Yet, the Love of God can conquer all. 

Good Discipline

John 2:13-16New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Clears the Temple Courts

13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!”

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Hebrews 12:5-7New International Version (NIV)

5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]

7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

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Hebrews 12:11New International Version (NIV)

11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

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How Prayer Can Change a Life

Not rendering correctly? View this email as a web page here. How Prayer Can Change a Man’s Heart SHARON JAYNES February 12, 2018     “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b (NIV) Today, let’s pray for husbands. If you’re single, then use this guide to pray for the important men in your life. Dear Lord, I pray for ________________. His Shoulders — No matter what my husband goes through today, assure him that nothing is too hard for You. Empower him to cut cords of worry with the saber of praise and to place his burdens on Your able shoulders. (Genesis 18:14; Deuteronomy 31:8; Psalm 9:10) His Heart — Place a hedge of protection around his heart to keep corruption out and purity in.(Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 17:20; Proverbs 17:22) His Back — Protect him in the physical and spiritual realms. Keep him from the devil’s schemes that might trap him or trip him up. Thank You that no weapon formed against him will stand.(John 10:10; 2 Corinthians 2:11; Ephesians 6:10-18) His Arms — Help my husband be strong and courageous in Your mighty power. Bolster his courage when he’s afraid, and reassure him when he doubts. (Deuteronomy 31:6; Joshua 1:9; Isaiah 30:15) His Hands — Bless the work of my husband’s hands. Reward his efforts and bring him success.(Deuteronomy 33:11; Deuteronomy 28:12-13) Lord, I lift up __________________ to You today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Don't Put a Period

"Have you ever put a period where God puts a comma?"-Mark Batterson

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            I love this quote! It is my new life quote. It is a good reminder that God is in control of everything and that we are not. We can go ahead a put a period where we want but God as the right to take it away whenever and however He wants. All you have to do to put the comma there is say ONE LITTLE YES, even when it is hard to say it. We could always get the idea for ourselves and can see it in other people too or at least I can. That doesn't mean anything though but to pray for them more. I will tell you about 2 experiences that I have been through or going through right now that God is putting a period in one spot and comma in another. Then I will use an example of something else that that could happen but not tell you the whole story.
            The first experience is seeing if I want to change churches. I think for a few years now I have put a period at the end of changing churches. I have tried millions of times before to change churches but I could never find the right one so I just stopped searching for one. I made myself go to the one I am going to now for a long time. Here lately though, I think God has put the comma and the go ahead on changing churches because I found one that I have liked so far. Still getting use to it and trying to learn more about it but it seems to have a lot of the things I want in a church.
           It is small and friendly. It already has people that I know from different areas of life in it so I don't feel alone like I did at all the other churches I tried before. It seems like I can relate to the people there a lot better then where I am now. It is like God saying to me, "It is my time that I want you to change churches and here is the one I have for you. You have tried before and they haven't worked but now this one will."
            The second experience is a closer one to my heart and I put a period where I shouldn't have but again God is putting a comma there and I am getting blessed each time I am with her. I had these special babysitters growing up. They were close friends of the families and we met them at a church we were going to. They babysat me for about 4 years and then we had to move but through my elementary years I remember going and spending a week each summer with them. Then I got too good, I mean in high school, and put a period there and really never saw them again. I mean I would still send them birthday and Christmas cards but that was it. Going on 5 years ago, the husband, aka my adopted dad, I guess you could say, passed away from cancer.
             I got to see him a few times before he passed away in that state but it was hard. I think it was hard for me because before that I haven't seen him in years. I honestly think it was in elementary school or early high school years that I saw him healthy for the last time. During that transition, I promised myself that I would not stop seeing my adopted mom after he passed away. I would see her every chance I got and send her every card. That was the push that I needed or should I say comma I needed to see them again. Plus now my parents and I live a lot closer now then we did when I was in school so that helps too. I put a period there because I couldn't make time for that and I have regretted it ever since but now there is a comma and I see her every chance I get.
             The story or example that I am going to tell you is this: "Don't let other people put a period where God wants to put a comma." This could go for your dreams or different friendships that you have out in the world. People want to help and they want to care especially if they are close to you but only God knows what is going on and how to handle it. I have learned the hard way and instead of going to friends like I use to, now I go to God with everything especially when it is hard and important. You have to be careful too that you don't let the comma or period of your dreams get in the way of other areas of your life.
            It is also funny and/or strange because God can let you see a period in someone else's life but you might have a comma in your life. I heard a story about how a guy had a comma in his life on marriage but yet this women had a period and wanted to give up on marriage. Yet I now see a beautiful and Godly marriage between the two of them. I also like to think of it this way: "You could be the comma in someone else's life. You could take away that period and add a comma on for years to come." I could go on about a lot of situations that I have had or have in my life where God has shown me I have put a period but He changed it with a comma like the college I went to but I won't go through that because it just seems like I am repeating myself plus this entry would never end if I did that. That is how many times God can change your life with just a small comma at the end of every situation, not a period.
              

Learn Multiple Times

           A wise friend that gets me and my anxious self said something that really stuck with me in most areas of my life. I ran out of gas in my car one day and I was blessed that she was near by. She saw my car and texted me to see if I needed help. I did need help to get to a gas station and get more gas. I could have walked but I would have had to cross a main highway. Mind you this is the first time I have ran out of gas in my car. I told my friend this and that is when she said what stuck in my mind. She said, "Sometimes you have to learn the hard way, even of that way is learning multiple of times." This should be my quote for this year or for my life, really. 
         I never thought of life that way but it's true. With me, working with children, it's so true with them too. I think about how many times I had to mess up or forgot or relearn things. We have to be shown by God multiple of times to get it. I can see a  lot of my places in life that God had to show me more then once. That is why he is the God of 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances. Some of us, like me, are just too stubborn to get the first or second time.
        I got think of 4 times on my different jobs. God taught me a lot of different and new things at each job. There were even times where God had to remind me of things I already knew. Going between different ages of children and kids, I have to be reminded of a lot of things. I have had 4 different jobs and each job does their own thing. It is hard to learn new things every time because it gets you confused at times and wondering if they do this or that because the other places did. I also don't tell each job about my experiences in the childcare field. I probably should but it really never comes up so I have to learn the same things over and over because people think I am new with children.
          I mean there is always things you can learn and relearn but it can also get boring at the same time depending on what it is and how it is put. I will say that I am learning how to look and listen for the things that I do not know and let the old things I do know either touch me in a different way or don't let it bother me at all. It is also fun to learn what other bosses and supervisors put things. When they have different personalities, they will explain things differently and some will get me and some will just not get me. I have had types of personalities in bosses. I have learned that the best ones are the ones that get you and are more like you. 
          Being a teacher I learn multiple of times too. From the children and myself. I also learn a lot about myself when I think of me from the children's point of view. With every child, you have to learn about them one at a time. They each have their own personality and we have to learn about them and what they like. We have to learn how to treat them because no child is the same, even if they act the same. Then I think about how I can change myself better for the children. I think about what I could I change for the next day. What we could do the next day. I think about the crafts, the classroom, and how I can better connect with the children. I also pray for some of the children if they really need it. I will also say that the children can say things that blow my mind and sometimes even make me think when I get home.

          Redirecting my life to God 2 different times. I remember when I directed my life to Christ the very first time. I was about 8 or 10 years old in the summer moved when moved to central MO. It was the first time that I gave my life to God. I knew it was the right thing to do because I was born and raised in a Christian family. My parents taught me all I needed to know. I even remember my parents teaching me the 10 commandments. Then there was the second time that I gave my life to God. I gave my life to Christ the second time when I was at a youth conference during my high school years. It was the summer before my senior year of high school.

           I remember the conference was about Christ's Love for us and that is when I really understood His Love for us. I also learned it because of what went on with me and my friends the year before. There was a lot of confusion with a friend that I had and how I should treat her. I remember going up the last night during the worship service and giving my life to Christ. I never got baptized right after that though. Then it was about a year or 2 ago that I did get baptized at the church that I am going to now. I finally did that put because everything about His Love was coming to an understanding.
         You could also learn multiple times in many relationships and/or the same one but I am not going to go into details on that because I haven't actually been in any at all. Anyways, you might be asking, "How many times does it take?" Personally, I don't think you can put a number on how many times you could learn one thing over and over. We are human and we forget a lot but we have an AMAZING and LOVING God that knows that and never holds it against us. He will keep reminding us when we are just too stubborn or won't listen at all or both.

A Good Hearted Person- A Poem

A Good Hearted Person

A good hearted person is hard
to come by these days. When
I say good hearted, I don't mean
just doing something because
you know it's right. I mean doing
something because you feel it's
right inside of you. A good hearted
person is usually a person who
Sacrifices a lot for other people.

They have good discernment when
it comes to others. We can all be
a good hearted person in our own
ways. Working with children in
need. Volunteering at places to help
out.

Taking people on adventures or
experiences they haven't had in
life. Giving a huge present to someone
we love. Just giving back to people.
Those are huge things.

Putting money in the offering at church.
Giving money to a homeless person
on the side of the road. Understanding
or at least trying to understand a person's
situation. Showing up when you say you
would. Staying off your phone at
important times.

Even though, I compared these things
it's how each person feels whether they
are good hearted. That phase can mean
so many things. We could even take it
as far as the people who serve our
country.

God gives each person a different level
of discernment. Having a good heart is
determined by that level. We were all
made differently but as long as we are
showing God's Glory in our lives we
are all good hearted people.



Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: February 6th, 2018

My Week in a Bad Nutshell

            This week was really hard for me. A lot of things were shown to me this week about my life personally and the situations I were in. It seemed like God had to show me something in every aspect in my life and end it the hard way. To be truthful, I also cried a lot more this week then I have had in awhile and I don't know why. I started this week off really upset and just mad at myself. It was like I had too much time last weekend to think about my life and it didn't hit me til Monday. Monday rolled around and the children were just being children but that was even getting to me.
             It was so bad that the slightest thing set me off, crying. That is also when I heard the word "micro Managing" used in the same sentence with me. I asked a few people if I was or could be that and I got different answers. I just didn't know how I would handle all of the new information and things I learned this past month with my new job. I think all the knowledge and just learning what I had to do got to me and I couldn't really do anything about it and I still can't remember it all but that is when I came up with some ideas. My ideas are: wearing an apron all the time with my lists of what we have, what I have to do, and ideas for the children in the pockets of the apron. I started to write the lists out during nap time one day and then wrote them nicer on break the next day.
           Hearing that word also got me to thinking, "is that how I treated some of my friends in the past?" "Was I micro managing them too much when I had no right to?" "Was I the one that messed things up with my friend?" Then that made me feel like I had messed up and failed at that to so more crying went on. Just to let you know this is only half of what went all and I can't share names or anything like that so it might not sound like a big deal on here but it was.
          I calmed down and was fine until last night. Now this is the part I can't talk a lot about. Let's just say that when you know you are right about something but you forget why you were right about it in the first place, things can happen and remind you of that first thing. Right? Or you see how caring and sentimental people can be and you just want that feeling to be brought towards you by anyone because you haven't felt that special in a long time. I came home a bawled last night too because of those thoughts and feelings. I even wrote out a 5 page prayer so I would get those feelings out to God. If that wasn't enough, God had to finish teaching me a lesson today.
            He showed me that when I make a decision, not to doubt myself. He shows me that quite often for some reason. I ran out of gas in my car on the highway during my break from work. It was a busy time so people did stop by. I had 3 strangers stop. Two to help me push my car to the side of the road and one stop to see if I needed help. Luckily or should I say blessed that it was around the time people I knew were going to my old work and on a Friday so someone I knew saw me and they texted me to see if I needed help. I did need help going to the gas station to buy more gas because if I didn't have anyone to take me there I would have had to walk there and cross a busy intersection and I wasn't going to do that in the mood I was in.
           But yet, everything went down from there. Not bad but I seemed so out of it the rest of the day. I went to get gas at that gas station and then after I got gas I forgot to close my gas tank so another stranger caught it before I went out on the road again and flagged me down. When I got home tonight, I forgot to put my car in park, so it went up to the curb of the sidewalk. It was just not a week for me this week and I don't know why. It hasn't been a very good month either. I have seemed to be so out of it lately. I don't know if it is my old age or if it is everything going on all around me or something going on in a certain situation that is really bothering me or a mixture of all 3 or 2 things.
           I just hope this week wasn't wasted, which I know it wasn't because I know God was in it somehow. I'll just have to wait and see how later on in life. I also just hope this month goes a lot better for me or at least better then January did.