My Week in a Bad Nutshell

            This week was really hard for me. A lot of things were shown to me this week about my life personally and the situations I were in. It seemed like God had to show me something in every aspect in my life and end it the hard way. To be truthful, I also cried a lot more this week then I have had in awhile and I don't know why. I started this week off really upset and just mad at myself. It was like I had too much time last weekend to think about my life and it didn't hit me til Monday. Monday rolled around and the children were just being children but that was even getting to me.
             It was so bad that the slightest thing set me off, crying. That is also when I heard the word "micro Managing" used in the same sentence with me. I asked a few people if I was or could be that and I got different answers. I just didn't know how I would handle all of the new information and things I learned this past month with my new job. I think all the knowledge and just learning what I had to do got to me and I couldn't really do anything about it and I still can't remember it all but that is when I came up with some ideas. My ideas are: wearing an apron all the time with my lists of what we have, what I have to do, and ideas for the children in the pockets of the apron. I started to write the lists out during nap time one day and then wrote them nicer on break the next day.
           Hearing that word also got me to thinking, "is that how I treated some of my friends in the past?" "Was I micro managing them too much when I had no right to?" "Was I the one that messed things up with my friend?" Then that made me feel like I had messed up and failed at that to so more crying went on. Just to let you know this is only half of what went all and I can't share names or anything like that so it might not sound like a big deal on here but it was.
          I calmed down and was fine until last night. Now this is the part I can't talk a lot about. Let's just say that when you know you are right about something but you forget why you were right about it in the first place, things can happen and remind you of that first thing. Right? Or you see how caring and sentimental people can be and you just want that feeling to be brought towards you by anyone because you haven't felt that special in a long time. I came home a bawled last night too because of those thoughts and feelings. I even wrote out a 5 page prayer so I would get those feelings out to God. If that wasn't enough, God had to finish teaching me a lesson today.
            He showed me that when I make a decision, not to doubt myself. He shows me that quite often for some reason. I ran out of gas in my car on the highway during my break from work. It was a busy time so people did stop by. I had 3 strangers stop. Two to help me push my car to the side of the road and one stop to see if I needed help. Luckily or should I say blessed that it was around the time people I knew were going to my old work and on a Friday so someone I knew saw me and they texted me to see if I needed help. I did need help going to the gas station to buy more gas because if I didn't have anyone to take me there I would have had to walk there and cross a busy intersection and I wasn't going to do that in the mood I was in.
           But yet, everything went down from there. Not bad but I seemed so out of it the rest of the day. I went to get gas at that gas station and then after I got gas I forgot to close my gas tank so another stranger caught it before I went out on the road again and flagged me down. When I got home tonight, I forgot to put my car in park, so it went up to the curb of the sidewalk. It was just not a week for me this week and I don't know why. It hasn't been a very good month either. I have seemed to be so out of it lately. I don't know if it is my old age or if it is everything going on all around me or something going on in a certain situation that is really bothering me or a mixture of all 3 or 2 things.
           I just hope this week wasn't wasted, which I know it wasn't because I know God was in it somehow. I'll just have to wait and see how later on in life. I also just hope this month goes a lot better for me or at least better then January did.