A Whole New Look at Guarding Your Heart

            I wrote this entry out first because it was a very sensitive one for me. I also thought about this entry for a long time. I am still working out some of the things but I wanted to get something out there for other girls/women. Let's just say that guarding your heart is a lot easier said then done. The Proverbs Bible verse makes it seem so simple but it really isn't. I've had my high school crush and college crushes. During those times, everyone world either quote the verse or tell me to guard my heart or both. They either didn't understand me and the depth of things or they didn't care. I will go with the first one for most people towards me.
           Yeah, you want to guard your heart from those crushes but what about guarding it from your first love. What about guarding it from that crush that the possibility is there? My eyes have just been open a little bit more lately when they should have been opened a long time ago. I found someone, a friend, that explained it to where I could understand the deeper things better. The deeper things that has to go on in relationships. I've learned that little things can happen over a long period of time that can get you off guard. Funny that I say it that way but it's true. You can fall for a person without knowing when or how it happened. You can just think as that person as a crush when really they mean more to you. I'm still trying to figure out why I am learning about these things now when I should have known better back then.
             My friend told me something that totally made since to me these past few days. She said, "It is easy to have more of a cloudy view in your mind and follow that one instead of the one we should follow. " I don't know how many times I could look back and pin point situations that I should have changed or not done at all. I remember hearing a voice saying "don't do it" but I would anyways. Now I am paying for it. Little things like sharing something on your page or commenting to your crush or other little things can true bad without you knowing it.
               To be honest, I was supporting something because I wanted the same feeling back and I got mad when I didn't get it. I was only sharing certain things too. I blamed the other person when really I should have been blaming me all along. Supporting things and people can be great but it could also turn into your life. You just have to be careful and really think why you are doing the actions that you are. That is one way to guard your heart. When you take a step back and realize what you are doing to yourself and that other person, it really changing things. I can tell you that it has changed my perspectives a lot lately. 

              Taking a step back is not only for leaders and people in charge of other people but it can be for everyday people too. I heard a sermon on it this past month and it really dawned on me and I think that this realization is part of that sermon. That sermon is one of the last sermons that I wrote about this month. It is either the second to last or the last one. It is funny too in a way because that is when I told my friend the truth was after that sermon.
              Another thing is we what to be desired and pursued so bad that we will end up doing the pursuing without knowing it. We will think that we are not good or worthy enough for any guy to pursue so we start looking and working for guys' attention. We try to fit into a mold that we think the guy will like when really he might have liked the way we were already. We just didn't give them the chance. We didn't really get to know them like we should have or at least I know I didn't do that or that I could have done it better then I did. I think this right here was my biggest problem. I have never felt like I was worth pursuing. I never felt like I had what it took to get a guy to like me for me. We have to remember too, that we are being pursued and it is by Our Loving God. 

             I do blame my high school years for that because I was always trying to be someone I wasn't. I was trying to fake it through everyday and I made it most days. I didn't know what it really felt like to be me and live in God's worth for me. It is hard to explain but for us, women, it usually does start in high school and if not there then college and we take in on into the rest of our lives if we aren't careful. It is something that I wish guys of all ages would understand and care about but we are all humans and we all have our ways of messing up. That is sin for you. 

             It's not til now that I realized that I have been living a lie most of my life. I have been trying to push and pull on my own when I shouldn't be. There is one thing for us, women, to remember though. No matter what goes on in our lives, we always have Someone looking out for us and Loving us like no one else can and that is God. God is there with us but we have to be able and willing to listen to Him and do what He says. We can't think we are better then Him and just go about our ways. We have to step back and let God take control of everything in our lives, even the things we are scared to let Him have. He knows better then we do about our own lives.


Here is a summary that one of my friends said this entry meant to her:

             "It is a good reminder that we all are supposed to guard our heart because it is so easy to lay it all on the line for someone who doesn't even know... We are worthy of love and worthy to be sought after."