Do I Need to Be Strong?

Strong is a word that is used to

Describe man, cars, buildings, and

Metal. But what about women?

It is a feeling you don't know you

Are feeling til you've had enough. 

It's when you break down crying.

You might know why or you might

Not but you know you can't stop from

Crying. 

Strong is also when you have to do 

Everything by yourself. You have to

Contorl the children. You have to

Teach them everything under the sun. 

It's when you have people telling you how to

Treat or raise a child but you do it

Your own way anyways. Strong is being a wife,

Mother, daughter, and a women of any

Kind. 

Strong is when you have tried everything

But nothing works. Strong is something 

You learn, but have no idea when or how

Or why you learned it. Maybe it was because

You got made fun of in high school, lived

By yourself for a long time, deaths in your life time, or had really Hard jobs. It could be a

Number of things. It could also be the way 

You were raised or because you had to out 

On that front for so long in your life. You

Thought that was who you needed to 

Be. 

Strong can also be a bad thing. It could make

You turn away from people. It could also 

Make you give up because people are using your

Strongness. It could be because you believe in 

Yourself and only you. The list could go on. 

Strong will be a part of you no matter what.

You will have to break some of it to let

People in. It doesn't like change at all because

It has to go away. Change makes being strong 

A little more sensitive for awhile. But it always shows back up again. 

Strong makes you feel anxious. It makes you

Worried and scared. Strong makes you think

You are so prefect that you could never 

Mess up. When you do, you have to be strong

And push through it in a way that makes you

Feel better. Strong is when you want to worry

And care for someone or something so bad

You don't let them see what you are really 

Feeling. 

Strong is what you thinks will keep you safe.

It does when you wear a mask on the outside

But on the inside it destroys you. You are letting all these feelings build up that eventually you

Will burst out crying or doing something else

You'll regret. You will say words you never meant to say. You say them because you think you

Can handle the actions towards you but you

Can't. 

Strong is a good feeling to have for the most 

Part. Sometimes, though, you have to be 

Careful with it. It could be all over the place. Here, there, and everywhete. It could make you question who You really are. That's what is really hard about feeling strong. 

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: November 2019

The 3 Cs- Chance, Challenge, and Change

          I was in a thinking and writing mood last night. Ever get those  moments where you just think of something good to write about. It is like a light bulb came on. I was just thinking about any kind of relationship. A love relationship would be a good one to apply these to though. Just throwing that out there. No matter the kind, there are three Cs that you have to do yourself as a individual. Those three Cs are: Chance, Challenges, and Change.
          You take the chance. You take the chance of changing your life forever. You go right into whatever you have doubts about and scares you. You have questions but you take that chance anyways. Sometime when you take that chance. It will turn out to be the best thing you ever think of. You take that chance of giving up things to get another thing. You get the chance of someone's asking you all of these questions not knowing they will matter soon but yet those questions for you thinking and prepared for what was ahead. You take the chance in answering those questiins, hoping that you will do what you said you would when that chance comes. with those chances, you will have challenges.
            You have the challenges. All kind of them. Some challenges you might understand right away and others you might not til later. The challenges could be easy or hard. They could be a fight that you have to work through or with me, my anxiety that I have to contorl. They could also be good like understanding why a person treats you the way they do or going onto the next step. The challenges could even be something like learning something about you or someone else or something else. I love challenges because you do keep learning and I love that because I am a teacher's kid. Those challenges might seem scary at first but everyone needs them or you would stay where you are in life forever.
              You are changed. By taking that chance and going pass those challenges, you are becoming a changed person. I thought I was changed and done changing when I took a speical chance but come to figure out I wasn't even close to done. I might have been done changing if I was to stay by myself forever but that's not God's plan. Never was. I'm being changed everyday now. I'm learning new things and going through a lot of new challenges. I am seeing how storng I can really be, I guess. One thing I have learned so far is no one can change you for the better then the person who truly loves you and that you love back.
                Call me crazy but I think the 3 Cs are a way of life. Chance, challenge and change. How else would you describe life? How else would you describe the feeling of love? How else would you describe a person changing better for a reason? You got to take that chance. With that chance, comes a lot of challenges. With those challenges, you have to change or you might not make it through some of them. If you never do these things, how will you know what to do to get through life?

Summary:

Step 1: Take the chance.
Step 2: Get through those challenges.
Step 3: Change because you took the chance and got through those challenges.

Hurting Knee is a Blessing

            Sorry I haven't wrote on here for awhile. I have drafts but not entries. I finally have the time to write a little something and to catch you all up on what has been going on in my life. I wish I could catch you up on all of it but a lot has been going on too much to share but I will catch you up on the last month/few weeks of it because it is strange how things are happening. I wanted to think of a better title then I did but nothing else is coming to me right now and that's ok. I just hope people will read this anyways because it is about how God is working in my life right now.
              Everything started to roll perfectly about mid April. I was taking a break from things, people were getting sick, and so on. It is strange because for me, as a teacher's kid, I always knew May to be the busiest month of the year and it still is but I guess you could say that I feel at peace this May. I could turn everything that has happened to me or in my life about me and my anxiety. I could blame myself like I use to in the past. I can dwell on it too. I am realizing that I don't and it is making all the difference. It also helps when you have someone that cares about you and cares enough to listen to you complain at times. It is a easier way of getting things out instead of keeping them bottled up inside you.
                 It all started with me taking a big step back from teaching Sunday School at my church but it seems like God knew that I didn't need that on my plate right now in May. I am seeing Him at work because I stepped back and let someone else take over. Last two Sundays I have felt at peace about it. I have got to spend more time with my boyfriend whether going to Sunday School with him or spending more time with just him during church and not feeling so stressed out during it. If that wasn't enough, to get me to slow down some, I had to go fall on my knee. Let's not for get my cat and his nails. I had to take care of my cat and that is taking a lot of my time but it is fun. Learning as I go with that. He is just like my own child.
                 My knee falling couldn't happened at a better time because I have things to get ready for like birthdays and graduations. Although it hurts really bad, it is a blessing in disguise. My dad is having a couple of drs. appointments that are really serious to me at least. Anything with my parents is scary. With family moving out of state, I get time to be with them and not feel so stressed out. As you can see, I have a lot on my plate right now and I guess the knee falling is just a blessing because of it. I wouldn't have the day off to type this and get some other things done. It happened right before Mother's Day to where I had to rest and then before the 2 graduations that I am going to. I think I was just getting so stressed that I was trying to hurry and slipped on water but when you have so much on your mind it is hard not to think about other things.
                It slows me down in the time where things get so busy or can be so busy. It slows me down to make me take time to enjoy the small things like the birthdays that I can decorate and wrap gifts for. Realizing how people are feeling during a certain time of year. I have just seen in this past few weeks that every little thing is a blessing and God knows what He is doing. He is making one thing happen so I can take time and see the other thing, good or bad. Sad that it has to come down to a really bruised up knee but God does what He has to to get our attention and to see that we are not irreplaceable but are needed in other areas of life right now at this moment. I swear if I haven't fallen on my knee there were be some gifts not given over the weekend because I would have never thought about it if I was busy.
                 I should say that in grown toenails on a kitty cat is a blessing too because this is really when all of these things started happening. I will say that I would rather have that or a hunting knee to get my attention then some of the other ways God has got me to wake up and got my attention in the past. I'm glad I can see the little, small things God is using now instead of Him having to use the big things right now. Has God ever tried to get your attention using little things like these but you couldn't see Him til He used something big? Have you had both happen to you like I have? If so, which one would you rather God used more of in your life.
                My answer would be: I would rather have more hurt knees then anything else for Him to get my attention. I would rather see God after a hurt knee then after a big and bad life change. God does know the prefect timing and order of our life. He knows what needs to happen when and that's why we should trust Him always with everything. Here is a picture for me to remember this life lesson:

Ruth Made Her Own Choices

"Decision determines Destiny" 

"But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her."

-Ruth 1:16-18

"Not free to chose the consequences."

The Power of Wise Choices will give you 7 different things:

1. A new determination 

2. A new direction
3. A new dependence
4. A new desire
5. A new devotion
6. A new dedication

7. A new Destiny

            Those 7 different things are just from the 3 verses above. It is amazing what you can get from the Bible and the funny thing is they all start with the letter "D". No wonder why people would use these verses as wedding vows or somewhere in their wedding. I love the book of Ruth. It is a story about not giving up and not letting go. I seem to need the reminder of that a lot. Ruth is one of my favorite Bible character because of that too. 

Really Small but Meaningful Prayer

         I just prayed this prayer and thought it was a good one to share and keep on here. It's one everyone can pray for anything. It goes like this:

Dear Daddy,

          You and I know there are feelings and words in my heart I can't write down or say yet. Please listen and then answer them too. Let Your Will be done.

In Christ's name,

Amen

Really Romantic vs. Really Simple

           Like every other little girl, especially during the big Disney princess times, grew up with the wrong motives for dating and marriage. I'm learning that really fast while watching Disney movies with my boyfriend. Now at the age of 31, I am very disappointed in Disney. For those of you who know me, you might never thought I would have said that, especially since Beauty and the Beast is my all time favorite movie in my life. I'm not against any of them but we need to be careful with them.
              Life can come true like in the movies. It could be a happily ever after but not everything is that easy or romantic like in the movies. I was watching Beauty and the Beast with my boyfriend and I saw a lot of things that are happening to me now while with him and they are so simple but for some reason when I was a little girl I thought they had to be more romantic to be meaningful. They don't. This is where the title "Really Romantic vs. Really Simple" comes in.
             "Really Romantic" is just really in the mind of a women or was for me. I am all for a romantic first date that is candle lit or every date being romantic. A date at a romantic and really nice restaurant. A romantic first Valentine's Day with that special someone. That romantic first kiss with the foot popping up and then everyone after that one. What I am also learning while those dreams are great and all. They are not the only dreams out there and sometimes they are impossible to reach. Guys don't want to be put through that much pressure. It is even better when they do it on their own with you telling then how and what to do. Probably the most romantic thing is a wedding and yes I have high, romantic hopes for that but again I can see where it also can be simple too.
           "Really Simple" is what I really love and what's really romantic to me. I say all the time that I am a simple, country girl and I am especially now. I could care less about those fancy eating out dates or any fancy dates, fancy gifts, don't need flowers all the time, holidays don't have to be fancy at all, and so forth. Now don't get me wrong I still like those really romantic things because they show I am a girl but simple things are just the same. An evening on the couch watching a Disney movie or a night of a cooked in meal, doing part of a puzzle, and watching a movie or just walking a trail or window shopping and smelling candles. Letting him see me without make up most of the time and not having to worry about what he thinks about me without it on.
           Little kisses on the cheek and forehead. Just spending time with the one you love is or should be romantic. I could go on and on about the simple things that mean so much like holding hands. When you know the one you love will do anything for you and try anything for you, that's romance for me now. I am just seeing more and more of how simple I really am. I don't even care whose house as long as we are together. I am that simple, country girl and I love it. There is nothing at all wrong with that when you find the guy that loves you for it.

             The lesson here is not to get so caught up in the really romantic. While it might be nice to think about it while you are single, don't let that stop you from dating or finding the right one for you. Give it time and you will hopefully get use to it and see that the simpler it is, the better it really is. I am a simple girl and there is nothing wrong with that at all. 

Trust in Your Unfailing Love

Psalm 143:8 New International Version (NIV)

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
    for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
    for to you I entrust my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           I thought since there are a lot of churches that are closed today that I would have time to do a little devo myself. It is neat because my church put this verse on their Facebook page and when I saw it I thought, "Hmmm, a lot can be said about this verse". I am going to tell you what it means to me. It has been awhile since I have had time to write a devo in my blog and I miss that. Hopefully, this will be read by a lot of people and they will like it enough to share it.
            I love to think of the first sentence in this way. It says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love". That could be taken two ways.
           First, it could be talking about a person getting up and doing their Bible study in the morning before the day gets started and you just feel His Love surround you from His Word.
           Second, if you are outdoor lover like me, it could be that the sunrise reminds you of God's unfailing Love for you. That sunrise reminds you of all the good things that He has done for you because how can anyone but God paint a sunrise that beautiful. He loves you enough to make each sunrise different then the last one so you would have something new to wake up to every morning.
          With those two things being said, we go onto the next line where it says, "for I have put my trust in You". That means that we trust God in whatever we are going to be doing that day whether it is something we got from His Word that will remind us or just the beautiful of the sunrise. We can trust that He knows our needs and wants and that He will provide for us each and every day for He knows what is ahead of us.
          And because of that trust we put in Him, He will show us the way in which we need to go. We can entrust on life in and to Him. That is really what trusting Him is all about. Trusting that He will guide our life to the best that it can be for Him and His Glory because isn't that what it is all about in the first place. God gave us our life so no matter what we are going through, we know that it can be used for the ministry of God.
         As I am writing this, I am thinking about how I would paint the verse out on a canvas. It would look something like this: It would have a sunrise up top. then a country looking road going away from or towards the sunrise, don't have that part figured out yet. Then there would be green as the grass all around the road and a person sitting on the grass reading a book (aka the Bible). I might even paint an angel in the sunrise somewhere as a sign of God's Love is there or I could put a heart of some sort. I could even put a road that is split in two and have signs on each one. Signs that say, "God's Way" and "The Other Way".
          It is a thought in process for sure. Maybe that picture helps some people see what the verse is about too in an artistic way. I know some people are visual learners so that is why I wrote my painting idea out. Anyways, I hope that you got something from this little devo of mine on this cold, little (when I say little, I mean very little) snowy Sunday. :)

Major Car Problems

          This past weekend my car just decides to quit on me. I was hanging out with my boyfriend after church because we had somewhere to go at 4:00 in town and oddly enough it was to a church class. The devil got us there but that is the only place he got us and espically me. It was funny because my pastor was talking about how we should give our blessings back to God instead of giving to other earthly things. Well, I was thinking how I was doing pretty good now with things settled and better then it had been in the past year.
              Thinking about how I should use my money for God. Should I give to my church or sponsor another child from Compassion? Right as I was thinking it my car stopped. Found out yesterday it was a costly repair. In a way, the devil won there too because my extra money is going to pay for that in payments probably. I did get my car battery free though. That's a whole other story. The devil didn't win at what was the most important thing to me. If you know me at all, you know when things happen with my car or something I cannot fix, I go into my anxiety attack and just cry and yell non stop. Well, I didn't on Sunday, which is a surprise for me!
               Yet it wasn't. Some of you might be reading this and are like what she didn't cry or yell and no I didn't. Thank you very much. I wasn't by myself. Like I said my boyfriend was with me, I had to be calm. Lol! Ok, not really but I wanted to be calm plus I had someone to talk to and work it out with. I was amazed at myself. I didn't let the devil get to me or us. What is more amazing is my boyfriend knew exactly what to do to calm me down and we have only been going out for 3 months.
                I write about the experience because it was a really different feeling. It was the feeling that I needed someone by my side all along and I have that. Someone who understands and understood me. I pray and hope we keep this experience in mind and go back to it if we ever need too. That's also another reason that I am writing it on my blog. As I think back too, this is our 2nd biggest thing in this relationship. We have each had one thing wrong and we saw how the other acted through it all.
               I would say we are doing pretty good especially when we are still learning about each other. Yet both of these situations have helped me better understand what a true relationship really is. It really is a friendship that builds over time, not something that will happen really fast and be over just like that. It really does take time. You never will understand the other person fully. It is an adventure everyday. Might I also say I am writing this on the date we become offical in our 3rd month if you look at it that way.

Love Doesn't Have to Be Perfect-A Poem

Love Doesn't Have to Be
Perfect

Love doesn't have to
Be perfect. When I
Was younger, I actually had
That thought but now I am
Thinking differently after
Being in a relationship. Love
Is never perfect but that's
Because it is always true
Or that's the way it should be.
That's the way I want it for sure
Too.

Love is perfect is a lesson that
Has been taught to me and what
We teach kids most of the time but
That's so wrong. Love is anything
But perfect. That's the lesson we
Should be teaching kids these days.
Yet it might feel and be
Perfect but it doesn't happen the
Way you thought it should. That's
Okay.

Love just has to be real and true.
It has to be honest. It also has to 

Be able to talk to each
Other. It doesn't have be these pretty,
Romantic, or cost a lot of money. It
Doesn't have to be a dinner and movie 

type date every single time. It doesn't
Have to be eating at an costly
Restaurant every time you eat out.
Who cares about presents or flowers?

Yes, those things would be nice.
They do add points for the guy every
Now and then but it isn't needed. It is the 

true feeling that is needed. That feeling
Of being anywhere with the one you love
And not care where it is. That feeling
That you don't need them to prove their
Love for you. A place where you feel
Comfortable and love being.

Dare, I say it. That feeling where you
Don't need presents. Where you feel
Comfortable talking about and doing 

Anything. That moment where you find
Out that your hands fit perfectly
Together and you never want to let go. 

Where you can just be laying
With them and watching a movie and
That brings you peace and helps you
Sleep at night.

That first kiss that feels so right. On the forehead 

and then after some time the lips. That is what True

 Love is. Love doesn't have

 to be perfect. It just needs to be true.

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: January 4th, 2019

Hello, 2019!

"I want to say, the coolest thing about 2018......is watching you grow as a young adult....from Class 101 to now.....total change ….you are the beautiful butterfly."

Tiffney

"You project happiness and contentment....God has been working in your life and he’s showing you and rewarding you for being faithful and trusting him."

A friend of mine told me all this in January. All these things really mean a lot to me. If you know me, you would know why too. I only took the Class 101 during February and March of last year. Sorry for just getting it officially posted as a blog now.