Did I "Bloom" During 2020?

         2020 was a hard year for most of us. It was the year of the COVID sickness. It was the year of staying home. It was the year of doing everything virtual. It was also the year of staying away from people and wearing masks. Yet I am trying to look at how I bloomed during this hard year and I know of some of the ways that I have. This year might have been hard but I have bloomed so much at the same time during this year and got to do things I would never have gotten to do. I am looking how I bloomed because "bloom" was my word of the year this year. It is strange because we all had to bloom in a lot of different ways. Strange how God works sometimes, huh?

            Here are some of the things that come right to mind when I think of blooming in 2020:

-Got a new job.

- I made closer friends at work.

- I connected with some of the kids that I thought    I wouldn't at the start of the year.

-Been through 3 directors at work.

- Got to know how my job works.

- Got to spend a lot of time with my family like 2 or 3 whole months.

-Started a new church.

-My dad is making it through his exchanges.

-Started a new hobby like woodburning.

-Also, tried to do some more Bible journaling.

-Knowing that I am at least changing one kid's         life at work.

-My relationship got stronger because of the Bible study classes we took and the questions that were asked.

-I am not scared of doing online videos anymore. Although, I still don't like hearing myself on them.

- I started a new side job selling nails.

         So in many little ways, I have bloomed in 2020, even with this COVID sickness all around me. I think it might have even helped me a little though.

Christmas 2020

         I actually wrote this entery down in a notebook about a week ago but I. Just now getting the chance to write it here. I was so down in the dumps this December because of everything going on but after writing this out (aka my feelings), I felt better and wanted to do a lot more things like wrap more presents and bake a lot. It was like once I let things leave my shoulders, I could feel Christmasy again. That's a feeling that should never leave me. Anyways, here is what I wrote in my notebook:

               It is a very strange Christmas/December for me. The strangest thing is I don't feel like I should this time of year. Doesn't feel right to me. Now since I can remember, Christmas has been my favorite holiday and still is. I call myself the Christmas baby but that has another story behind it. I love shopping, giving gifts, sending cards, family and friends, and teaching Christmas to my kids. I went into this December with all kinds of plans for family and class but none of them are happening right. I try to dress up for my kids but that's hard when they aren't crazy or even know about Christmas. I got one child out of 7 that gets excited about what I do and wear. No presents from the parents. I know that's not important but still would be nice. At least a card. Is that too much to ask? Two weeks out for COVID. A snow day right before. I really didn't make a list of what I wanted either. Didn't have time to think about that. 

             We have got Christmas all wrong. It's not about the things or what we do. I see that now. I haven't even got to see so many lights. Don't have the want. Seeing it at age almost 33. I see how right the Grinch was. I see how the 1st Christmas was for Mary and Joseph. It's kind of hard to explain but it's different. It's not About the gifts but the feelings you have around that time or should have. Not having has many kids in the class or has many family members coming back home. Not wanting to shop and look around because of the masks. No time to think. You know so many lives were lost this year and so many in the hospital for so many things. Always on edge because of the sickness. Just day to day living not any planning. New job for me. Not knowing what to plan or can't. 

               Yet one this stays the same through it all. JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! He is still coming and had came! He was born to take this all away. That Christmas star was God's Promise to us that everything is in His Hands still and will turn out for His Good. Nothing is more perfect for Jesus then this year to show us a miracle after it all. Kind of makes you wonder what does He have up His sleeve. 

               There you wonder why my December doesn't feel Christmasy. All this was on my heart and mind. Hopefully, it will be a little better now that I got it out and down on paper. Thanks for listening and I hope your Christmas is one to remember even during the hard times. 

My Christmas Prayer

The snow is falling as I make my way back home.
I feel so grateful I have somewhere I can go.
But in troubled times like these,
with all the ones in need, its Christmas time,
so ,Jesus, I'm before you on my knees.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where there's despair)
Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

I pray that I become what you would have me be.
That I would give as much as you have given me.
In a world that's torn apart, heal the hatred in our hearts.
Its Christmas time and there's no better time for us to start.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where theres despair)
Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Lord, hear our prayer.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where theresdespair)
And that our voices fell the air
A Merry Christmas everywhere
Well, Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

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I would listen to this song every Christmas because it is one of my all-time favorites from a Christian boy band I liked in the high school. I would always think about just me and where I was in life when I listened to it but like everything else this year that's different. I can't think of myself when I hear the song anymore. It is definitely not just a Christmas prayer but an everyday prayer that we need to be praying every day right now. In this moment and in this world we need to be praying this exact prayer. It's funny how they are not a group anymore but they were right on back in the 2000s. Christmas will look different for so many by missing family, by not going where they usually go for Christmas, and honestly it shouldn't. It's Christmas. The best holiday of the year. The holiday of love.