Here are the 30 things I was Thankful for in the month of Thanksgiving. I can say that it helped each day go easy because when I woke up I would think of something I was thankful for a write it on my Facebook. I would go back to that thing if I was having a hard day or the things before that I wrote. I would even write 2 or 3 things down in the same day and then when it was time for that date of the day I would write it down to remind me of what I was thankful for.
I was even thinking about keeping it going throughout December so I would be thankful all holiday season and maybe that would get me into the habit for the New Year. We will see how many days I go can into December and then I'll write an entry for that month.
Here is the 30 things I was thankful for in November for Thanksgiving:
-Day 1: I am thankful that I live in a small apartment.
-Day 2: I am thankful that I have a job that I love.
-Day 3: I am thankful that God provides even when I doubt.
-Day 4: I am thankful for my nieces.
-Day 5: I am thankful for the rain and the cool weather.
-Day 6: I am thankful for my family and childhood.
-Day 7: I am thankful for a church that feels homey.
-Day 8: I am thankful for my relationship with Christ.
-Day 9: I am thankful for health insurance.
-Day 10: I am thankful for my college degree and the college I got it from.
-Day 11: I am thankful that I live in the USA and for my grandpas.
-Day 12: I am thankful for my family.
-Day 13: I am thankful for a warm bed to sleep in.
-Day 14: I am thankful for the Hope I have in Christ.
-Day 15: I am thankful for answered prayers.
-Day 16: I am thankful for God's transforming grace.
-Day 17: I am thankful for AR being my 2nd home state.
-Day 18: I am thankful for being a part of a great women's Bible study.
-Day 19: I am thankful for my nephews
-Day 20: I am thankful for my car even if it does make noises.
-Day 21: I am thankful for an unchanging God.
-Day 22: I am thankful for walks outside.
-Day 23: I am thankful that I had a great farmer in my life.
-Day 24: I am thankful for my country side.
-Day 25: I am thankful that I get a day off for Thanksgiving this year.
-Day 26: I am thankful for the food that we have to eat.
-Day 27: I am thankful that I only have to work a half a day after Thanksgiving.
-Day 28: I am thankful for the worrying of money that I got from my grandma because it
helps me save money.
-Day 29: I am thankful for the cards that I get in the mail because it reminds my of my
grandmas.
-Day 30: I am thankful for the small steps that we should take in life to get to the bigger
picture. It is a lot easier that way!
This was all the things I was thankful for this month and still are. There might be more things coming with the next month so keep an eye out for Part 2. :)
Friday, November 27, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Missing the Stories
I called this entry "Missing the Stories" because I do miss the stories from my last job. Some of them were sad but at the same time they showed me how blessed I was with the things I have. Sometimes the stories were funny stories too because the children had great minds. I just think about all the stories I heard, I read, and I told them too and it just still breaks my heart but I am making some new stories at my new jobs. There are stories about my co-workers instead of the children but still it is neat and sad to hear them depending on what we are talking about.
I love hearing about people's lives eespically when their lives are different then yours. It is getting down to that deeper part of getting to know the people. The part that I love to get at because I am a listener at heart and I like to learn all the time, which you do learn when you listen to stories. I, kind of, have a story here that I would like to write like I always do on here but it is more of a memory then anything.
Don't get me wrong I love having Thanksgiving off and then half of the Friday after off but it is so hard to have it off when you haven't had it off for 2 years. When you have spent the last 2 years with children that don't have a family for Thanksgiving. This year is has probably been the hardest on me and I've probably had the most mixed feelings in this year then ever in my life. More confused then ever. I love my new job and it is just what I wanted but I miss the children I use to be a "mom" or "sister" too especially on the holidays.
We wouldn't do anything big but have a Thanksgiving dinner because preschoolers really don't get the idea of it yet or these preschoolers didn't. I've always thought that I was living two lives when I worked at my old job and I was but at the same time I miss doing that. I think it is just know that I know the experience and I know that there are really children out there without a family to enjoy the holidays with, it just breaks my heart all over again. I'm thinking about some of my special children form that special place and just crying my eyes out and praying that they have a decent "real" family or foster family to spend the holidays with.
There are 3 kids that I am thinking about right now and wish I could know how they are doing. I'm the tempted to look in my children's book and remember and thank God for all the good times I had with them. My good years at that job. I love the "normal" children I have right now and I will love my own if I ever have any. The question that I am asking now and it will be new when the time comes is: Will I love my own more then I loved the children at my last job? Right now, that is a love in my life that I can't explain along with another love but that love is still growing and being tested right now. I will say that the children are still winning it. :)
If you read this tonight or on Thanksgiving Day, just remember that you are blessed to have a family to eat with and hang out with on a holiday. Some children don't and that is very sad. Not to bring down your Thanksgiving Day but really be thankful for the things you do have. If I could have any rule over "Black Friday", after everything I have been through this year, I would say "No" to it for everyone because no material things can replace the love of family and friends. Sometimes I think, as human beings, we get caught up in thinking they do. This year, I'm not scared to say, would probably be my most thankful year up to date right now.
Ok. I'm done being on the soapbox with my passions, which mean I am done crying for now.
I love hearing about people's lives eespically when their lives are different then yours. It is getting down to that deeper part of getting to know the people. The part that I love to get at because I am a listener at heart and I like to learn all the time, which you do learn when you listen to stories. I, kind of, have a story here that I would like to write like I always do on here but it is more of a memory then anything.
Don't get me wrong I love having Thanksgiving off and then half of the Friday after off but it is so hard to have it off when you haven't had it off for 2 years. When you have spent the last 2 years with children that don't have a family for Thanksgiving. This year is has probably been the hardest on me and I've probably had the most mixed feelings in this year then ever in my life. More confused then ever. I love my new job and it is just what I wanted but I miss the children I use to be a "mom" or "sister" too especially on the holidays.
We wouldn't do anything big but have a Thanksgiving dinner because preschoolers really don't get the idea of it yet or these preschoolers didn't. I've always thought that I was living two lives when I worked at my old job and I was but at the same time I miss doing that. I think it is just know that I know the experience and I know that there are really children out there without a family to enjoy the holidays with, it just breaks my heart all over again. I'm thinking about some of my special children form that special place and just crying my eyes out and praying that they have a decent "real" family or foster family to spend the holidays with.
There are 3 kids that I am thinking about right now and wish I could know how they are doing. I'm the tempted to look in my children's book and remember and thank God for all the good times I had with them. My good years at that job. I love the "normal" children I have right now and I will love my own if I ever have any. The question that I am asking now and it will be new when the time comes is: Will I love my own more then I loved the children at my last job? Right now, that is a love in my life that I can't explain along with another love but that love is still growing and being tested right now. I will say that the children are still winning it. :)
If you read this tonight or on Thanksgiving Day, just remember that you are blessed to have a family to eat with and hang out with on a holiday. Some children don't and that is very sad. Not to bring down your Thanksgiving Day but really be thankful for the things you do have. If I could have any rule over "Black Friday", after everything I have been through this year, I would say "No" to it for everyone because no material things can replace the love of family and friends. Sometimes I think, as human beings, we get caught up in thinking they do. This year, I'm not scared to say, would probably be my most thankful year up to date right now.
Ok. I'm done being on the soapbox with my passions, which mean I am done crying for now.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Sharing Small Christmas Traditions
I was talking to a co-worker about what Christmas traditions I do and how I decorate the Christmas because she is putting one up for the first time this year. I got really hot and shakey and I probably even blushed but it is because I talked for the first time about something that I never thought I would have to talk about without the person by my side. It was the first time that I talked about my Grandma and her Christmas traditions without her living. I got through the talking with my co-worker without crying but then I came home and cried about it.
This Christmas is going to be really different and so hard without any grandparents to go visit. That got me thinking about the step by step and day by day that we need to live and do things. I started to ask a lot of questions to God during my quite time and here are some of the questions:
-What are the simplest little things in my life?
-What little, simplest step by step thing do I need to pray for?
It is taking that little, simplest thing that matters most to you and praying that something big will come out of it. It is trusting that God will turn it into a bigger thing. Pray like that and surely you will overflow with the Holy Spirit but don't take my work for it.
I'm going to have to give some of this credit to a friend of mine because seeing my friend praying for the simplest and smallest thing and then seeing God answer it hours later is really encouraging. I will say it might be some little nonsense thing to me or someone else but it means the world to my friend. I, honestly, think too that when you pray for the smaller steps first, you will be encouraged more and what to keep going for the bigger picture. You will want to see what God has in store for you. Instead, of trying by yourself to get there because it is so much work to do it all in "one day" or even year.
How can you start praying in the small steps? What is a goal that you want to reach? I have a couple for me and I will share them. I want to get my Master's in OT and I want to get married and have a family.
Getting my Master's:
-getting one class/semester done at a time.
-getting each paper filled out.
-getting into the program.
-getting through the Master's program and not stopping.
And even then those small steps can get broken down and more specific even. I just don't want to share my whole life plan on here.
You might be asking me, "What does this have to do with your grandma and the Christmas traditions she had. My grandma had a traditions of giving each of her grandkids a Christmas tree ortrament either before Christmas or on Christmas. That was a little thing that made a huge difference because she would write Bible verses somewhere on them with paint sticks. She was probably hoping we would look them up but I never did, which I regret now but I am thinking about doing that this year. That tradition was a small thing but thinking on it now, I am going to miss it this year. Small things really do have a special meaning behind them most of the time so when you pray for the small things, maybe those small things will be a bigger blessing then the bigger things. Get it?
I understand that we might think that praying for the future would be easier, especially if you are a planner like me but all it does is gets us worried about it instead of living for the present. We miss what we could be doing now in our lives and the lives of others. It, kind of, goes along with that praying every moment of the day concept that some people have, which I love and want to get to in my relationship with the Lord. Maybe if you want to get there too, you can start by praying for the small steps during your long quite time with the Lord and then go from there?
Just something else to encourage you to, hopefully, get closer to the Lord.
This Christmas is going to be really different and so hard without any grandparents to go visit. That got me thinking about the step by step and day by day that we need to live and do things. I started to ask a lot of questions to God during my quite time and here are some of the questions:
-What are the simplest little things in my life?
-What little, simplest step by step thing do I need to pray for?
It is taking that little, simplest thing that matters most to you and praying that something big will come out of it. It is trusting that God will turn it into a bigger thing. Pray like that and surely you will overflow with the Holy Spirit but don't take my work for it.
I'm going to have to give some of this credit to a friend of mine because seeing my friend praying for the simplest and smallest thing and then seeing God answer it hours later is really encouraging. I will say it might be some little nonsense thing to me or someone else but it means the world to my friend. I, honestly, think too that when you pray for the smaller steps first, you will be encouraged more and what to keep going for the bigger picture. You will want to see what God has in store for you. Instead, of trying by yourself to get there because it is so much work to do it all in "one day" or even year.
How can you start praying in the small steps? What is a goal that you want to reach? I have a couple for me and I will share them. I want to get my Master's in OT and I want to get married and have a family.
Getting my Master's:
-getting one class/semester done at a time.
-getting each paper filled out.
-getting into the program.
-getting through the Master's program and not stopping.
And even then those small steps can get broken down and more specific even. I just don't want to share my whole life plan on here.
You might be asking me, "What does this have to do with your grandma and the Christmas traditions she had. My grandma had a traditions of giving each of her grandkids a Christmas tree ortrament either before Christmas or on Christmas. That was a little thing that made a huge difference because she would write Bible verses somewhere on them with paint sticks. She was probably hoping we would look them up but I never did, which I regret now but I am thinking about doing that this year. That tradition was a small thing but thinking on it now, I am going to miss it this year. Small things really do have a special meaning behind them most of the time so when you pray for the small things, maybe those small things will be a bigger blessing then the bigger things. Get it?
I understand that we might think that praying for the future would be easier, especially if you are a planner like me but all it does is gets us worried about it instead of living for the present. We miss what we could be doing now in our lives and the lives of others. It, kind of, goes along with that praying every moment of the day concept that some people have, which I love and want to get to in my relationship with the Lord. Maybe if you want to get there too, you can start by praying for the small steps during your long quite time with the Lord and then go from there?
Just something else to encourage you to, hopefully, get closer to the Lord.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Prayer, Prayer, Prayer
I got this idea/outline of how I want to pray from a friend. It was really encouraging to see a friend pray like this and actually talk about what happened after the prayer they prayed. I love to see answers to pray, even when it is the simplest of prayers, which this prayer was. It is what my friend wanted and God felt like it was okay to give it. These "points" are just want caught me off guard when I was listening to my friend's encouragement. There are 3 points that my friend made:
-God's Will be done
-For His Glory
-In His Name
-Everyday for the simple things.
The End of the points.
Then I added this point since it is what I learned Saturday night at church:
-Overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
How I am hoping to use those points is to write them down and then follow them by a prayer request that I really want or need. Because you can pray something like "God's Will be done" in this certain situation or for the day. I want to be patience today so I can get things done for "His Glory" and so on.
-God's Will be done
-For His Glory
-In His Name
-Everyday for the simple things.
The End of the points.
Then I added this point since it is what I learned Saturday night at church:
-Overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
How I am hoping to use those points is to write them down and then follow them by a prayer request that I really want or need. Because you can pray something like "God's Will be done" in this certain situation or for the day. I want to be patience today so I can get things done for "His Glory" and so on.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Home Vs. Truck
I will write this entry because I have been thinking a lot about the difference between women and men. Just seeing some of the things my guy friends are interested really makes me see how different we really are in our gender differences if that makes any sense at all. I call this entry "Home Vs. Truck" because that is the first thing that I thought about that was different between women and men but then this past week I had another thought. What about "Children Vs. Outdoors" or "Children Vs. Hunting/Fishing" or "Home Vs. Shed". It could go on and on.
The idea of this entry is just to help other women see that as women and men we have different hobbies and we were made to run different things in this world but that doesn't mean that we cannot work together and accomplish somethings. I got the "Home Vs. Truck" idea when I was in the Bible Study called "Called to be a Keeper" and I was learning more about the call that God has called me to do, which is be the Keeper of the home and children. Read through the Bible and you will find that God made women to be that way.
You will also find that God made the man to be the leader of the household, just like He is the leader of the Church. Women, submitting to them doesn't mean you have to do everything they say but you do have to ask them to see what they think. Now don't let that be your final answer because God always give you the final answer so pray to Him too about things but it is about being together in a home and in a marriage. It is about being on the same page but yet being different so we don't get bored with each other so quickly.
I don't want to go into too much detail because I'm not good at advice giving especially about guys but women we have to know who we are truly in Christ. We have to know that God did make us for the home, children, family, comfort, and so on. We are the ones that need to be the nurturing ones and caring ones. We are the ones that need to be around most of the time. Now I get that it would be great for the man to be around to but we can't get mad at him if he is out providing for the family because that is His God-given job.
I wish I would have seen the home vs. truck comparison in high school. It would have made so much sense back then and I wouldn't have been so stressed out with the guys in my class. It is strange that I can see that in my life right now. Here I am working with children whether at a shelter or a preschool. Right now, I'm even taken care of the infants at the preschool I am at now. Yet I see some of my guy friend going out and providing for their wives or even still yet family. Not only are they providing money and other things like that they are being the leader in their business in some way and form, whether it is the Founder or a boss in some company or some part of the company or the highest office in that section of the company.
They are taking on that leadership role to get use to being the leader like they are suppose to be. If they can take charge of a group of people, then can't they take "charge" of a family and provide for them. I know I might have used some wording that will stop people from reading this entry and that people won't agree with but if you take the time to really think about it in other ways with other words that it is easy for you to understand then do that. This is just how I understand the God given roles of a husband (man) and wife (women). This is what I learn and see and this is what I stay by and want, even if it is old style nowadays. I can still hope. Can't I?
The idea of this entry is just to help other women see that as women and men we have different hobbies and we were made to run different things in this world but that doesn't mean that we cannot work together and accomplish somethings. I got the "Home Vs. Truck" idea when I was in the Bible Study called "Called to be a Keeper" and I was learning more about the call that God has called me to do, which is be the Keeper of the home and children. Read through the Bible and you will find that God made women to be that way.
You will also find that God made the man to be the leader of the household, just like He is the leader of the Church. Women, submitting to them doesn't mean you have to do everything they say but you do have to ask them to see what they think. Now don't let that be your final answer because God always give you the final answer so pray to Him too about things but it is about being together in a home and in a marriage. It is about being on the same page but yet being different so we don't get bored with each other so quickly.
I don't want to go into too much detail because I'm not good at advice giving especially about guys but women we have to know who we are truly in Christ. We have to know that God did make us for the home, children, family, comfort, and so on. We are the ones that need to be the nurturing ones and caring ones. We are the ones that need to be around most of the time. Now I get that it would be great for the man to be around to but we can't get mad at him if he is out providing for the family because that is His God-given job.
I wish I would have seen the home vs. truck comparison in high school. It would have made so much sense back then and I wouldn't have been so stressed out with the guys in my class. It is strange that I can see that in my life right now. Here I am working with children whether at a shelter or a preschool. Right now, I'm even taken care of the infants at the preschool I am at now. Yet I see some of my guy friend going out and providing for their wives or even still yet family. Not only are they providing money and other things like that they are being the leader in their business in some way and form, whether it is the Founder or a boss in some company or some part of the company or the highest office in that section of the company.
They are taking on that leadership role to get use to being the leader like they are suppose to be. If they can take charge of a group of people, then can't they take "charge" of a family and provide for them. I know I might have used some wording that will stop people from reading this entry and that people won't agree with but if you take the time to really think about it in other ways with other words that it is easy for you to understand then do that. This is just how I understand the God given roles of a husband (man) and wife (women). This is what I learn and see and this is what I stay by and want, even if it is old style nowadays. I can still hope. Can't I?
Friday, November 20, 2015
Stop Depriving-1 Cor. 7:5
Sorry that I am just now writing another entry. I know it has been awhile since I wrote one but I have been really busy with work and family things. This is something very special that I came across during one of my work breaks this week and I just had to share. I came across it because I have been feeling this certain feeling and I wanted to know why I was feeling the way I was. I was so confused at first but then finding this verse helped me a little to sort out those feelings. Here is the verse and a meaning on one word in the verse:
This verse really means a lot to me. Why is God, all of the sudden, showing it to me when I've needed it all my life. It talks about stop taking enjoyment away from other people. Devote to prayer and them turn back if God is willing. I've been depriving myself and my guy friends of fun things because I have been worrying. I've been saying things that seem fine but when I really think about them, they're not. It is funny or strange how a guy friend will tell me to back off nicely. It makes me rethink my actions and prayer a little deeper.
If they are only a crush, like in high school, then I forget about them completely. The close guy friends I have noticed a lot lately that I hate to take whatever they are enjoying away from them by bothering them. It is such a good and happy feeling for me to see them happy and having a blast at what they love what they do. I would rather be devoted in prayer for them then messing up their enjoyment.
Another big word is "agreement" in the verse. I would rather be in agreement and on the same page with them because that is one way to stop worrying all the time of them. I just love to see the joy on people's faces when we don't deprive them of the things they love. Do you think that is what's wrong with today's marriages? They are self centered instead of God-centered, then other person/partner centered like they are suppose to be. People need their own things to enjoy because if we were all the same, the world wouldn't be a fun place to live.
So why try to change someone into a person we want them to be or like you? How can that make things fun? That would get so boring pretty fast, I would think. The message here, I think, is: Just to love the person that God made you to be, who God made your friends to be, who God made your partner be, and the people around you to be.
"Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."-Corinthians 7:5
Deprive-"To remove or withhold something from the enjoyment or possession of (a person or persons)
If they are only a crush, like in high school, then I forget about them completely. The close guy friends I have noticed a lot lately that I hate to take whatever they are enjoying away from them by bothering them. It is such a good and happy feeling for me to see them happy and having a blast at what they love what they do. I would rather be devoted in prayer for them then messing up their enjoyment.
Another big word is "agreement" in the verse. I would rather be in agreement and on the same page with them because that is one way to stop worrying all the time of them. I just love to see the joy on people's faces when we don't deprive them of the things they love. Do you think that is what's wrong with today's marriages? They are self centered instead of God-centered, then other person/partner centered like they are suppose to be. People need their own things to enjoy because if we were all the same, the world wouldn't be a fun place to live.
So why try to change someone into a person we want them to be or like you? How can that make things fun? That would get so boring pretty fast, I would think. The message here, I think, is: Just to love the person that God made you to be, who God made your friends to be, who God made your partner be, and the people around you to be.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
I HATE Change
This year, even these past few months, have had a lot of changes going on for me and I don't like them. I don't like change period. I hate it with a passion. I know it is funny to hear this from a women you wanted to travel like a missionary for awhile but now I see I hate it and couldn't live with it. I think I just had too much in my life as a little girl that I want to stay in one place and settle there. I am ready to settle with job and house and just start a real life.
With grandparents passing away and jobs changing, these past two years, I noticed I don't like changes at all. It was job after job changing different positions in those jobs. I just want to be in one position for more then 6 months. I'm really not liking the childcare field, the more I spend time in it. It is so much changing and not settling. I just want to be hired in one position with my degree that I spent 5 years getting and stay in that spot.
As a child, growing up, I know I never did like changes, even the littlest of things would get me worked up, stressed out, or/and worried about the future. I could never handle changes good and as much as I hate to admit it, I would cry while the changes happened. Like tonight, I came home and cried because I was so stressed out from work, trying to be the lead, and felt unworthy of or just that all my energy was gone. I don't know what it is in me but if I had to be in charge on a team, I know this might sound bad, but it would stressed me out. Now if I can start as a lead somewhere and grow and get use to things that might be better.
Not only does the change bother me but I think the not knowing what is going to happen next or who is going to be in the position that someone is looking for next kills me too. I am a very routine person so I get children who like their routine but get upset when it is messed up. I am that way still as an adult. It just seems like I get in the groove or routine with someone and then that someone goes away or I move to a different position or sometimes I live the job.
I think that I need a job that I can stick with and make times on my own. A job where I can talk to people when and if I need to. Not be there at any certain time unless I schedule it. I know this sounds bad but not to depend on any other person either. I am very introverted and that how I was made and am. I just need to learn and see that. It's not that I don't like people but I'm not the kind of person that can make work friends to go hang out with after work or just at work. I am the kind of person who likes to have those deep friendships that will be there and I can be sure they will be there even after I move on from that job.
You could also say that I might be very professional because I don't think friends should be a work things. I mean yeah, you could talk about what is going on at work but then what else? I don't want to get my personal life and my work life mixed up because sometimes work is where I go to forget about my personal life if that makes sense. I want to be there for the children and play with them and pay attention to them instead of talking about life. Sorry, if it sounds rude but that is how I feel right now until I find that job where I feel like I can settle down and trust the people I am around.
I think a lot of these feelings are just because of the change in my life since I have moved to AR. Friends have been changing, jobs have been changing even positions within jobs, and my mind have been changing about my future and what I want to do. I'm just ready to settled but I need to feel comfortable of where I will settled and about how I will settle. Right now, I don't feel either one of those where I am in life now. I do need to change more and I am working on that but for now I want things that are now to stay the same and no more changing. Why? Because I HATE change! Always have and always will! Unless it is something that I dreamed about for ages that is coming true or something that I really, really can't do without.
It might grow you in ways but I think for me a lot of times it holds me back because I feel like I can't grow if I don't need to grow. If I just need to use the same things that I have been using for years around me then my thought is why grow or why learn new things? Why learn if I'm going to stay in the childcare field? Why learn if I'm just going to be an assistant teacher for the rest of my life? Why be adventurous if I'm just going to stay in MO or AR for the rest of my life? Get it? I might be smart and very creative but why show it when I can get by with the same things over and over and that is all that humans see in me. How can I make others see that I have more to offer?
With grandparents passing away and jobs changing, these past two years, I noticed I don't like changes at all. It was job after job changing different positions in those jobs. I just want to be in one position for more then 6 months. I'm really not liking the childcare field, the more I spend time in it. It is so much changing and not settling. I just want to be hired in one position with my degree that I spent 5 years getting and stay in that spot.
As a child, growing up, I know I never did like changes, even the littlest of things would get me worked up, stressed out, or/and worried about the future. I could never handle changes good and as much as I hate to admit it, I would cry while the changes happened. Like tonight, I came home and cried because I was so stressed out from work, trying to be the lead, and felt unworthy of or just that all my energy was gone. I don't know what it is in me but if I had to be in charge on a team, I know this might sound bad, but it would stressed me out. Now if I can start as a lead somewhere and grow and get use to things that might be better.
Not only does the change bother me but I think the not knowing what is going to happen next or who is going to be in the position that someone is looking for next kills me too. I am a very routine person so I get children who like their routine but get upset when it is messed up. I am that way still as an adult. It just seems like I get in the groove or routine with someone and then that someone goes away or I move to a different position or sometimes I live the job.
I think that I need a job that I can stick with and make times on my own. A job where I can talk to people when and if I need to. Not be there at any certain time unless I schedule it. I know this sounds bad but not to depend on any other person either. I am very introverted and that how I was made and am. I just need to learn and see that. It's not that I don't like people but I'm not the kind of person that can make work friends to go hang out with after work or just at work. I am the kind of person who likes to have those deep friendships that will be there and I can be sure they will be there even after I move on from that job.
You could also say that I might be very professional because I don't think friends should be a work things. I mean yeah, you could talk about what is going on at work but then what else? I don't want to get my personal life and my work life mixed up because sometimes work is where I go to forget about my personal life if that makes sense. I want to be there for the children and play with them and pay attention to them instead of talking about life. Sorry, if it sounds rude but that is how I feel right now until I find that job where I feel like I can settle down and trust the people I am around.
I think a lot of these feelings are just because of the change in my life since I have moved to AR. Friends have been changing, jobs have been changing even positions within jobs, and my mind have been changing about my future and what I want to do. I'm just ready to settled but I need to feel comfortable of where I will settled and about how I will settle. Right now, I don't feel either one of those where I am in life now. I do need to change more and I am working on that but for now I want things that are now to stay the same and no more changing. Why? Because I HATE change! Always have and always will! Unless it is something that I dreamed about for ages that is coming true or something that I really, really can't do without.
It might grow you in ways but I think for me a lot of times it holds me back because I feel like I can't grow if I don't need to grow. If I just need to use the same things that I have been using for years around me then my thought is why grow or why learn new things? Why learn if I'm going to stay in the childcare field? Why learn if I'm just going to be an assistant teacher for the rest of my life? Why be adventurous if I'm just going to stay in MO or AR for the rest of my life? Get it? I might be smart and very creative but why show it when I can get by with the same things over and over and that is all that humans see in me. How can I make others see that I have more to offer?
Sunday, November 15, 2015
House Full of Verses
I came up with this title after going over to someone else's house and seeing how many Bible verses they had up around their house and all the different ways they had them up. It was the week of the Bible study that I am in where we are called to make a home and we went over to another person's house to see what making a Christ centered home felt like and looked like. I got a lot of neat ideas from that home to use someday in my main home but then I came back to my small apartment and looked around.
I was thinking that I wanted to do the verses they way this person did them in her home. They were big on her walls and very pretty. There were wall hangings all around with verses or even nice, encouraging sayings on them. I was jealous at first because being a FACS major I love that kind of stuff and I've wanted my own big house ever since I got done with college. It is just a part of who I am and how I was raised but then I got to looking around in my small apartment. As I was looking around it, I got to thinking that right now at this moment in my life it does fit me just fine.
It fits me because it is only me that I have to worry about living in it. I can make it feel like however I want to but I do want to start with a little of what I would want my big dream home to look and feel like and it does because of the things I have. I mean it is rustic in its colors and could be considered cabin, outdoors type with all the bears I have sitting around. I have dark colors but they go do with a light tan and that is the colors of the apartment's walls so I have been thinking a little for my future home.
Something else hit me after seeing that home during the Bible study and it was the Bible verses all over the place and having a room being for a certain thing and only that thing. I came home that night and of course went to sleep. Then I woke up the next morning and just started to look around my apartment before work and some thoughts came to my mind. One thought was: "I would love to have more big verses up on the walls and in a prettier way then I have them now but at least I have some up where I can see them throughout the day." By that I mean, I have some pretty pictures that have verses or sayings on them hanging up in frames but most of the verses are written on notecards and hung around my apartment on the doors or on the cabinets.
The notecards are mainly one single one with one verse on them but I also have 2 packets of notecards with verses about a certain feeling, like when I'm anxious I can look at that packet, hanging up by my bedroom door. Then I have another packet of notecards with verses by my outside door. Not only do I put verses on notecards and then hang them up around the apartment but I also write verses on all the mirrors I have in my apartment. I try to have two monthly ones that I leave up for a month on my bathroom mirror and my dresser mirror. Those are the main places that I get ready in the morning for the day so that is a easy way to help me memorize some verses.
So whether I like to think of it or not, I do have a house full of verses and if people were to come into my apartment I hope they would read those verses and ask questions about them. I hope that it would get them to start thinking about their life or just be comforted during a hard time. It is not that pretty yet but that doesn't matter as long as I can memorize them right now and live them outside of my apartment. If people ever come over, they can at least read them too.
It is not about how it is to show the word written out but it is about how we show it by living out our lives outside of our houses. Yes, it is a plus and a easier way to start talking about Jesus and the Bible if we have it around our house but we don't need to be set on doing it in a certain way to where it looks more important then the verses themselves.
I was thinking that I wanted to do the verses they way this person did them in her home. They were big on her walls and very pretty. There were wall hangings all around with verses or even nice, encouraging sayings on them. I was jealous at first because being a FACS major I love that kind of stuff and I've wanted my own big house ever since I got done with college. It is just a part of who I am and how I was raised but then I got to looking around in my small apartment. As I was looking around it, I got to thinking that right now at this moment in my life it does fit me just fine.
It fits me because it is only me that I have to worry about living in it. I can make it feel like however I want to but I do want to start with a little of what I would want my big dream home to look and feel like and it does because of the things I have. I mean it is rustic in its colors and could be considered cabin, outdoors type with all the bears I have sitting around. I have dark colors but they go do with a light tan and that is the colors of the apartment's walls so I have been thinking a little for my future home.
Something else hit me after seeing that home during the Bible study and it was the Bible verses all over the place and having a room being for a certain thing and only that thing. I came home that night and of course went to sleep. Then I woke up the next morning and just started to look around my apartment before work and some thoughts came to my mind. One thought was: "I would love to have more big verses up on the walls and in a prettier way then I have them now but at least I have some up where I can see them throughout the day." By that I mean, I have some pretty pictures that have verses or sayings on them hanging up in frames but most of the verses are written on notecards and hung around my apartment on the doors or on the cabinets.
The notecards are mainly one single one with one verse on them but I also have 2 packets of notecards with verses about a certain feeling, like when I'm anxious I can look at that packet, hanging up by my bedroom door. Then I have another packet of notecards with verses by my outside door. Not only do I put verses on notecards and then hang them up around the apartment but I also write verses on all the mirrors I have in my apartment. I try to have two monthly ones that I leave up for a month on my bathroom mirror and my dresser mirror. Those are the main places that I get ready in the morning for the day so that is a easy way to help me memorize some verses.
So whether I like to think of it or not, I do have a house full of verses and if people were to come into my apartment I hope they would read those verses and ask questions about them. I hope that it would get them to start thinking about their life or just be comforted during a hard time. It is not that pretty yet but that doesn't matter as long as I can memorize them right now and live them outside of my apartment. If people ever come over, they can at least read them too.
It is not about how it is to show the word written out but it is about how we show it by living out our lives outside of our houses. Yes, it is a plus and a easier way to start talking about Jesus and the Bible if we have it around our house but we don't need to be set on doing it in a certain way to where it looks more important then the verses themselves.
Friday, November 13, 2015
A Prayer to God About Marriage
I am going to write a prayer out of here that I wrote out in my journal a few nights ago. It is really close to me so I will leave so spots empty so you can fill them in yourselves but I think this is a pray that every women, especially Christian women should pray about herself and her future husband. Here is the prayer:
Dear Daddy,
I heard at my Bible study this past week that "the husband is the spiritual leader of the household and he is held accountable in Your Eyes for most things, if not all things. I loved hearing that and that took a lot of weight of me for some reason. I don't know what I was thinking but I felt a huge sign of relief after hearing that. Now I will admit that at first I went: Ha! ha! ha! but then I got thinking about it and to me that is a sign of maturity for the guy of his part. If he can lead something other then a family like a business or other people or be a part of a big business then he can lead a family. After everything that I have learned in the past year about other guys, it all makes sense now.
Why do we, Christian women, get mad at the Christian guys when it takes them so long to be "ready" for a women? Same reason that it takes a women a long time to get ready for a man. We are becoming the Keepers of the house like Christ is to us and the church. If a real, Godly man has a relationship with You then yes it will take him awhile too. As women, we are finding it in who we are to be keepers of the house and the guys are doing that to be the leaders and be in the leadership role. I don't want to shorten time for anyone.
Then I pray that You will grow me into that Keeper of the house. My jobs? My degrees? You are working on it right now. I'm just finally making sense of it all, right? A Holy Marriage for You.
In Christ's Love,
Amen
I know some people might have different ideas and thoughts on this whole person role situation. This is what I believe the Lord what me to see and how He wants me to do it. It might seem strange right now but when you really get married and with that other person it should all make sense. Each of you have a special role in the family and mission that God has given you. Do you see the different roles now? I wish churches would explain it more this way then using all the fancy words like submit, submissive, and so on. I think this way sounds a lot nicer and it makes more sense. I think people wouldn't be so scared of it if they could understand it more.
Just to let you know there wasn't as many names as I thought there was. I did have to cut out some sentences but they weren't important to the main idea just some personal ones to the idea so everything still makes sense. Just a little something to think about.
Dear Daddy,
I heard at my Bible study this past week that "the husband is the spiritual leader of the household and he is held accountable in Your Eyes for most things, if not all things. I loved hearing that and that took a lot of weight of me for some reason. I don't know what I was thinking but I felt a huge sign of relief after hearing that. Now I will admit that at first I went: Ha! ha! ha! but then I got thinking about it and to me that is a sign of maturity for the guy of his part. If he can lead something other then a family like a business or other people or be a part of a big business then he can lead a family. After everything that I have learned in the past year about other guys, it all makes sense now.
Why do we, Christian women, get mad at the Christian guys when it takes them so long to be "ready" for a women? Same reason that it takes a women a long time to get ready for a man. We are becoming the Keepers of the house like Christ is to us and the church. If a real, Godly man has a relationship with You then yes it will take him awhile too. As women, we are finding it in who we are to be keepers of the house and the guys are doing that to be the leaders and be in the leadership role. I don't want to shorten time for anyone.
Then I pray that You will grow me into that Keeper of the house. My jobs? My degrees? You are working on it right now. I'm just finally making sense of it all, right? A Holy Marriage for You.
In Christ's Love,
Amen
I know some people might have different ideas and thoughts on this whole person role situation. This is what I believe the Lord what me to see and how He wants me to do it. It might seem strange right now but when you really get married and with that other person it should all make sense. Each of you have a special role in the family and mission that God has given you. Do you see the different roles now? I wish churches would explain it more this way then using all the fancy words like submit, submissive, and so on. I think this way sounds a lot nicer and it makes more sense. I think people wouldn't be so scared of it if they could understand it more.
Just to let you know there wasn't as many names as I thought there was. I did have to cut out some sentences but they weren't important to the main idea just some personal ones to the idea so everything still makes sense. Just a little something to think about.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
I Don't Have to Change the Outside Looks
I will admit that I came up with the title last month but there were other things that I wanted to write down and get out of my mind. I thought the other things I wrote before this one would help more people so I wrote them first so I wouldn't forget them. Now I am trying to catch up with my mind a little bit, which at times can be hard since I think so much about things.
Back in October, it was probably the start of October because there are some days there that are really important to me, I was looking through my old pictures on Facebook and other pictures that I had of me. When I say old pictures I mean from college onwards and I compared them to some of the now or more recent ones of me. Granted they were pictures that I meant to pose in and before events that I dressed up for but still it made me think about something important. Something that I needed to be reminded of and I guess lost not too long after I moved to AR but it is all making sense again.
Those pictures I was looking at, my college pictures, were pictures with me of my long hair. I compared them to the pictures of me with my short hair now and they are not the same but I got this strange feeling while I was doing that. I know God was speaking to me while I was looking at the pictures and told me this, He said, "Tiffney, you were trying to fit in and be something you were not when you first moved here. You were trying to make people around you happy and for them to like you. You also changed because you were still mad at things that happened in the past and thought looking different would give you a new life. When all you really needed was more of Me."
Now some of you would probably think that is strange of me to cut my hair but it was something I had control over and something major that I could do. Now I look at the pictures with my long hair and I miss my long hair once again but this isn't the first time I have missed it. God said something to me when I was looking at my long haired picture last month and this is what He said, "Tiffney, don't you feel different on the inside now? Don't you feel closer to me? You didn't need that hair cut, all you needed was to be with me and let Me be in control of your life." When I heard that last month, I was so relived. I felt like I was changing for the better and I was growing more deeper with God.
Maybe it is because I have been through a lot these past few months and God has shown Himself for real? Maybe it is because I miss the true me? I think it is more the first one then the second one but still it doesn't matter. What I learned through all of this is that God will bring us back to Him if we are going away or towards another path that we are not suppose to go towards. I just felt like a new person when I heard God saying, "It is the inside that really counts, not the outside."
I also remember thinking and I think even hearing somewhere that "It is the inside that counts because you are suppose to live from the inside out." To me that means that you need to take care of your heart and the inside first before you worry about what you look on the outside. No one will care what you look on the outside if you don't have the inside worked on. So why get a hair cut on the outside when you need to work on the inside? That is the world today, though, people are so caught up on the outside looks that they even forget about the inside and their heart at times. They forget that there is really a different person inside that is struggling to get out. The person that God made you to be, not the person that the world wants you to be.
So lately, I have been more focused on the inside, hoping that it will overflowing to the outside, where it will shine for God and point people in that Direction. I think I am going to let my hair grow out again because I really did like it in the pictures. I'm just not the same without that long hair.
Back in October, it was probably the start of October because there are some days there that are really important to me, I was looking through my old pictures on Facebook and other pictures that I had of me. When I say old pictures I mean from college onwards and I compared them to some of the now or more recent ones of me. Granted they were pictures that I meant to pose in and before events that I dressed up for but still it made me think about something important. Something that I needed to be reminded of and I guess lost not too long after I moved to AR but it is all making sense again.
Those pictures I was looking at, my college pictures, were pictures with me of my long hair. I compared them to the pictures of me with my short hair now and they are not the same but I got this strange feeling while I was doing that. I know God was speaking to me while I was looking at the pictures and told me this, He said, "Tiffney, you were trying to fit in and be something you were not when you first moved here. You were trying to make people around you happy and for them to like you. You also changed because you were still mad at things that happened in the past and thought looking different would give you a new life. When all you really needed was more of Me."
Now some of you would probably think that is strange of me to cut my hair but it was something I had control over and something major that I could do. Now I look at the pictures with my long hair and I miss my long hair once again but this isn't the first time I have missed it. God said something to me when I was looking at my long haired picture last month and this is what He said, "Tiffney, don't you feel different on the inside now? Don't you feel closer to me? You didn't need that hair cut, all you needed was to be with me and let Me be in control of your life." When I heard that last month, I was so relived. I felt like I was changing for the better and I was growing more deeper with God.
Maybe it is because I have been through a lot these past few months and God has shown Himself for real? Maybe it is because I miss the true me? I think it is more the first one then the second one but still it doesn't matter. What I learned through all of this is that God will bring us back to Him if we are going away or towards another path that we are not suppose to go towards. I just felt like a new person when I heard God saying, "It is the inside that really counts, not the outside."
I also remember thinking and I think even hearing somewhere that "It is the inside that counts because you are suppose to live from the inside out." To me that means that you need to take care of your heart and the inside first before you worry about what you look on the outside. No one will care what you look on the outside if you don't have the inside worked on. So why get a hair cut on the outside when you need to work on the inside? That is the world today, though, people are so caught up on the outside looks that they even forget about the inside and their heart at times. They forget that there is really a different person inside that is struggling to get out. The person that God made you to be, not the person that the world wants you to be.
So lately, I have been more focused on the inside, hoping that it will overflowing to the outside, where it will shine for God and point people in that Direction. I think I am going to let my hair grow out again because I really did like it in the pictures. I'm just not the same without that long hair.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
New You, New Way
This entry will just be some sermon notes that I took last night at church during the sermon. The title is also taken from the sermon. I didn't come up with it on my own. This entry will be more of a list and a lot of verses because I want to remember this sermon and this is one way that I can do that. The list will be you become the New You when you give yourself over to Christ. These are some of the New Ways in which the Bible says to become close to the likeness of Christ.
This is what the Old You looks and acts like before giving your life to Christ:
-Your mind is controlled by the thoughts of this world.
-You are trapped in your sins.
-Your heart is harden.
The verses these ideas come from are: Eph. 4:20-21.
This is what the New You looks and acts like and how you put it on:
-You have learned about the person of Christ, not a thing.
-You have been recreated in true righteousness by God.
-You are being renewed in the Spirit of the mind. You are thinking new thoughts that are about God and His plans for you. You are seeing things from His Eyes and not the eyes of this world. This is a continuous thing/circle that happens within us. We need to be renewed everyday at every hour.
-Changing little by little at a time to become the likeness of Christ. That is another way to look at being renewed in the Spirit.
-You are a loved child by God.
The verses these ideas come from are: Eph. 4:22-24.
Here are the New Ways that you can be sure or at least try to be like Christ. There are 6 ways to work towards. They are:
-Speak the truth.-Eph. 4:25
-Even saying "I'm fine" is a small lie.
-Do not be angry.-Eph. 4:26-27
-Deal with it when you have it. Do not wait until the next day or do not let it settle within you heart. It will build up and then you will do things that you aren't happy with.
-Do Generous Work.-Eph. 4:28
-Speak Life.-Eph. 4:29
-No rotten words, only encouraging words
-Don't break the heart of God-Eph. 4:30
-Be kind and forgive others.-Eph. 4:31-32
Then you will be be doing what Eph. 5:1-2 says.-
"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
This is what the Old You looks and acts like before giving your life to Christ:
-Your mind is controlled by the thoughts of this world.
-You are trapped in your sins.
-Your heart is harden.
The verses these ideas come from are: Eph. 4:20-21.
This is what the New You looks and acts like and how you put it on:
-You have learned about the person of Christ, not a thing.
-You have been recreated in true righteousness by God.
-You are being renewed in the Spirit of the mind. You are thinking new thoughts that are about God and His plans for you. You are seeing things from His Eyes and not the eyes of this world. This is a continuous thing/circle that happens within us. We need to be renewed everyday at every hour.
-Changing little by little at a time to become the likeness of Christ. That is another way to look at being renewed in the Spirit.
-You are a loved child by God.
The verses these ideas come from are: Eph. 4:22-24.
Here are the New Ways that you can be sure or at least try to be like Christ. There are 6 ways to work towards. They are:
-Speak the truth.-Eph. 4:25
-Even saying "I'm fine" is a small lie.
-Do not be angry.-Eph. 4:26-27
-Deal with it when you have it. Do not wait until the next day or do not let it settle within you heart. It will build up and then you will do things that you aren't happy with.
-Do Generous Work.-Eph. 4:28
-Speak Life.-Eph. 4:29
-No rotten words, only encouraging words
-Don't break the heart of God-Eph. 4:30
-Be kind and forgive others.-Eph. 4:31-32
Then you will be be doing what Eph. 5:1-2 says.-
"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Learning That I Love Getting Encouragement
I just got done with a counseling appointment and I want to talk about what I realized there. I don't like sharing much of what I talk about in counseling but this lesson I think everyone will learn from one way or another. It is about getting and giving encouragement and the facial expressions on your face without even knowing them.
I don't know where I have been for the past 2 years but I know I have not been quite myself in those two years and I think I know reasons why. I'm not putting anyone down but learning more about myself and what I can handle and what I need as a person. One of the big things I need is: ENCOURAGEMENT. I cannot not live without it at all whether in a job or from friends and family. I think one of my love laugaunges is words of encouragement. Those words make me feel better about myself.
I knew encouragement was a big thing to me. I loved giving and getting it but I didn't know why until I didn't get any especially during work with children. For 2 years, though, I stopped giving and getting get and those were emotionally the worse 2 years of my life. It is like encouragement gave me the energy to keep going like I know I am doing the right thing and that people like it. I knew it matter in friendships but jobs is another whole story.
Now that I have worked where I didn't get encouragement and do get encouragement, it is a life changer for me. I know I am a person that might not look friendly to come up to and can be very quite all the time but it doesn't mean I am a bad or mean person. It means that I am a shy person that wants to make everything right for everyone even though I know I can't do that. I have had people take it the wrong way and not even ask how I truly feel or why I look that way and act like they care. I want people to be happy all the time so yeah I will not say something right away because I can't think on my feet but it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I really have to think about what was just said and then come back to you.
Working at a job where you get encouragement and praise from the parents and staff and admin. is a great feeling. It does make a difference in how people work and do their job. Yes, there can be complaining at times if need be but there needs to be more encouragement then complaining. A job where there is complaining at that is all is not a fun place to work because you feel like you are doing everything wrong all the time even when you are trying your hardest to get it right.
I will say too that people have a different way of showing their encouragement or wording it so you just have to be careful in how you take it and think about it if you need to more then I did probably in the past. I do like just the straightforwards encouragement though so I don't have to think. People might tell you how to do things in a gentle way and that can be encouragement in them just reminding you, "hey, this is how you need to do it" and then also encouragement afterwards when you do it right.
Encouragement is a give and take thing and I just realized that a ton after everything I have been through recently. I do encourage people through my actions but I could work on with my words too. My counselor said something to me that really hit me today and she said that is what you need for your relationships too, not just work. That is true! I am a person who needs a lot of encouragement from the people I love. I know some of my friends that could use some encouragement and I try to encourage them where I can but I know I could do a lot better on that and I will try to be stronger and wiser that way.
People read our facial expressions a lot more then we think so we need to be happy and sound happy more then we probably do. It is hard for me because I thought I got these things all down but really, I guess, my last job showed me that I don't. I don't know how to totally control my expressions or my words when I need to because I always ran away from the sitaution or had someone speak for me. I'm learning to be face on with things that are uncomfortable but that is okay because isn't that where God changing us the most and then use us. I want to face it on with a Godly manner though and not just break out yelling or whatever else there is to do.
I am going to leave this entry like this because I really don't have an end statement or advice to give you since I am still working on figuring this all out on my own too.
I don't know where I have been for the past 2 years but I know I have not been quite myself in those two years and I think I know reasons why. I'm not putting anyone down but learning more about myself and what I can handle and what I need as a person. One of the big things I need is: ENCOURAGEMENT. I cannot not live without it at all whether in a job or from friends and family. I think one of my love laugaunges is words of encouragement. Those words make me feel better about myself.
I knew encouragement was a big thing to me. I loved giving and getting it but I didn't know why until I didn't get any especially during work with children. For 2 years, though, I stopped giving and getting get and those were emotionally the worse 2 years of my life. It is like encouragement gave me the energy to keep going like I know I am doing the right thing and that people like it. I knew it matter in friendships but jobs is another whole story.
Now that I have worked where I didn't get encouragement and do get encouragement, it is a life changer for me. I know I am a person that might not look friendly to come up to and can be very quite all the time but it doesn't mean I am a bad or mean person. It means that I am a shy person that wants to make everything right for everyone even though I know I can't do that. I have had people take it the wrong way and not even ask how I truly feel or why I look that way and act like they care. I want people to be happy all the time so yeah I will not say something right away because I can't think on my feet but it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I really have to think about what was just said and then come back to you.
Working at a job where you get encouragement and praise from the parents and staff and admin. is a great feeling. It does make a difference in how people work and do their job. Yes, there can be complaining at times if need be but there needs to be more encouragement then complaining. A job where there is complaining at that is all is not a fun place to work because you feel like you are doing everything wrong all the time even when you are trying your hardest to get it right.
I will say too that people have a different way of showing their encouragement or wording it so you just have to be careful in how you take it and think about it if you need to more then I did probably in the past. I do like just the straightforwards encouragement though so I don't have to think. People might tell you how to do things in a gentle way and that can be encouragement in them just reminding you, "hey, this is how you need to do it" and then also encouragement afterwards when you do it right.
Encouragement is a give and take thing and I just realized that a ton after everything I have been through recently. I do encourage people through my actions but I could work on with my words too. My counselor said something to me that really hit me today and she said that is what you need for your relationships too, not just work. That is true! I am a person who needs a lot of encouragement from the people I love. I know some of my friends that could use some encouragement and I try to encourage them where I can but I know I could do a lot better on that and I will try to be stronger and wiser that way.
People read our facial expressions a lot more then we think so we need to be happy and sound happy more then we probably do. It is hard for me because I thought I got these things all down but really, I guess, my last job showed me that I don't. I don't know how to totally control my expressions or my words when I need to because I always ran away from the sitaution or had someone speak for me. I'm learning to be face on with things that are uncomfortable but that is okay because isn't that where God changing us the most and then use us. I want to face it on with a Godly manner though and not just break out yelling or whatever else there is to do.
I am going to leave this entry like this because I really don't have an end statement or advice to give you since I am still working on figuring this all out on my own too.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Keeping it Small and Simple
I was going to talk about my house and life when I was thinking about this title and typing it out but then I got to thinking about something else these past two days and that is about my big dream. I love this verse because it has been hitting me a lot of ways lately for a lot of things. First, it hit me about my small apartment, then job, and now my future and the path God has for me now and onwards.
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."- Luke 16:10
I had a friend say something like, "Do you know why we set goals so high and dreams that are unattainable? It is because when we make it, it is all worth it. We don't need to be the next biggest thing, we just need to be making an impact.
I will say that I responded back with this verse and this saying, that I made up on the spot: "You don't have to get to the next "big" thing or you dreams right away. It turns out a lot better if you take the small steps first." I came up with that on my break during work and it just made sense to me. To tell you a little of what is going on with me, I am trying to decide what is next for me in my future. I have been thinking of 3 possibilities off and on since I have moved to AR. I just keep getting more ideas instead of just sticking to one because everything just seem too hard.
But it is funny how God works because He will send the right people in your life at the right time and you could be learning from each other. Someone could be encouraging someone without even knowing it. I will say that there have been two videos that have really encouraged me through what I think I'm pushing towards and I so happen to watch them on the college campus right after I'm done with a class or a meeting. Maybe it is a sign, maybe it is just chance even though I don't believe in that but it does encourage me either way.
This year my biggest struggle has been going back to college and not just any college but a community college and taking some classes that I might need if I want to continue to get my Master's in OT. If you take the time to think about everything that would change with that and how to do that and so on it would drive you up the wall. It has been driving me up the wall since March of this year but that is when I finally took the leap of faith, I guess you can call it, and signed up for one Fall class. Well, let me tell you I am almost done with that college class. This class that I am just getting done with was an easy one that I had to retake for a reason.
The class that I signed up for for next semester is a class that I have not taken yet and I heard that it is also really hard. It is a kind of Science class. Not that I'm not good at Science or don't like it, this class just has a lot of things to remember. I'm taking that hard class to see if I can do and really want to go back to get my Master's in OT because I think if I can pass this class then I can pass any class in that field. I might find out that I am wrong when getting it but this class could give me hope if I do well in it.
Another reason I couldn't decide and it was hard for me back in March was because of my job that I had then. It was really stressing me out and I was working so much overtime with very little help. I had tons of meetings to go to just for that job and it was, of course, emotional too. I couldn't see how I could do classes and that job. Well, needless to say God took care of that problem for me and now I have a job that I love and is a lot easier and has been more willing so far for me to go to classes.
I will admit the keeping it small and simple and doing the small steps first. I got to thinking last night and today that right now that is what I'm doing or have to do. I have to take one class a semester because I have a full time job. It is probably easier for me too since I never had some of these classes before. I have four classes I need to take before I can give think about getting my Master's in OT but that will work out because I can take one class each semester and I will be done at the community college in two years like I am suppose to be. That also will finish my 5 years here in AR if I decide to move back to MO for a little bit for my Master's. Five years is a limit I gave of gave myself if nothing really changed here in AR. I can tell you right now that nothing really has changed or gone the way I hoped it would but everything is for the better for sure.
For me, I just need to remember the verse and just that keeping things small and simple is the best way. Yes, it might take longer to get to the goal or dream but in the end it will be worth it because you spent the time preparing for it with those small steps. I'm sure you have seen people that just jumps into something and everything falls apart not too long after that jumped into doing it, right? They lose everything and sometimes everyone. You don't want to be that person, right? Just take your time and most importantly "let God lead you". He is the Only True One that should really matter to you, not anyone else. You should be glorifying Him not yourself or anyone else.
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."- Luke 16:10
I had a friend say something like, "Do you know why we set goals so high and dreams that are unattainable? It is because when we make it, it is all worth it. We don't need to be the next biggest thing, we just need to be making an impact.
I will say that I responded back with this verse and this saying, that I made up on the spot: "You don't have to get to the next "big" thing or you dreams right away. It turns out a lot better if you take the small steps first." I came up with that on my break during work and it just made sense to me. To tell you a little of what is going on with me, I am trying to decide what is next for me in my future. I have been thinking of 3 possibilities off and on since I have moved to AR. I just keep getting more ideas instead of just sticking to one because everything just seem too hard.
But it is funny how God works because He will send the right people in your life at the right time and you could be learning from each other. Someone could be encouraging someone without even knowing it. I will say that there have been two videos that have really encouraged me through what I think I'm pushing towards and I so happen to watch them on the college campus right after I'm done with a class or a meeting. Maybe it is a sign, maybe it is just chance even though I don't believe in that but it does encourage me either way.
This year my biggest struggle has been going back to college and not just any college but a community college and taking some classes that I might need if I want to continue to get my Master's in OT. If you take the time to think about everything that would change with that and how to do that and so on it would drive you up the wall. It has been driving me up the wall since March of this year but that is when I finally took the leap of faith, I guess you can call it, and signed up for one Fall class. Well, let me tell you I am almost done with that college class. This class that I am just getting done with was an easy one that I had to retake for a reason.
The class that I signed up for for next semester is a class that I have not taken yet and I heard that it is also really hard. It is a kind of Science class. Not that I'm not good at Science or don't like it, this class just has a lot of things to remember. I'm taking that hard class to see if I can do and really want to go back to get my Master's in OT because I think if I can pass this class then I can pass any class in that field. I might find out that I am wrong when getting it but this class could give me hope if I do well in it.
Another reason I couldn't decide and it was hard for me back in March was because of my job that I had then. It was really stressing me out and I was working so much overtime with very little help. I had tons of meetings to go to just for that job and it was, of course, emotional too. I couldn't see how I could do classes and that job. Well, needless to say God took care of that problem for me and now I have a job that I love and is a lot easier and has been more willing so far for me to go to classes.
I will admit the keeping it small and simple and doing the small steps first. I got to thinking last night and today that right now that is what I'm doing or have to do. I have to take one class a semester because I have a full time job. It is probably easier for me too since I never had some of these classes before. I have four classes I need to take before I can give think about getting my Master's in OT but that will work out because I can take one class each semester and I will be done at the community college in two years like I am suppose to be. That also will finish my 5 years here in AR if I decide to move back to MO for a little bit for my Master's. Five years is a limit I gave of gave myself if nothing really changed here in AR. I can tell you right now that nothing really has changed or gone the way I hoped it would but everything is for the better for sure.
For me, I just need to remember the verse and just that keeping things small and simple is the best way. Yes, it might take longer to get to the goal or dream but in the end it will be worth it because you spent the time preparing for it with those small steps. I'm sure you have seen people that just jumps into something and everything falls apart not too long after that jumped into doing it, right? They lose everything and sometimes everyone. You don't want to be that person, right? Just take your time and most importantly "let God lead you". He is the Only True One that should really matter to you, not anyone else. You should be glorifying Him not yourself or anyone else.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Are You Worth Investing In?
"You are worth investing in, sweet sister. You are a daughter of the King, A HOLY PRINCESS, a woman with a purpose in this world and a calling on your life. YOU ARE OF INFINITE VALUE and no one can take your place."- Holley Gerth
I found this quote on my daily calendar last week and it really hit at a soft spot for me. I hate to admit it but sometimes I get so wrapped up in wanting to mean something to someone that I go looking for that someone, when really that someone should be looking for me. My future husband/man of my dreams should be looking for me, not the other way around. I am worth investing in for that one special person. That special person as to try and get me to talk. He has to ask questions that really matter and that are really deep.
People say that I am quite and shy, which is true but that is because I like to have deep talks with anyone and everyone. I don't like the small talk at all. I want to get to know a person deep and see how I can help with out if any way. I truly believe that while you invest in someone, whether friend or special person, it shows that you really do care about them. It shows that you care enough to dig pass all their baggage and really get to know them.
For girls and women of any age, we are a daughter of the King and A HOLY PRINCESS. We are far worth more then we give ourselves credit for most of the time. We are princesses that are to be given away, not taken away. We deserve those man who will treat us right even if it does take years to find them, even though they might be near. We want a "perfect" prince that God is also working on to make into a Godly husband and even sometimes father. In God's time, He will bring us together if you were meant to marry. Yet if you weren't meant to marry that is the best of them all because then you can serve your Heavenly Father and King however He sees fit.
The part of this quote that I like the best is this part: "a woman with a purpose in this world and a calling on your life. YOU ARE OF INFINITE VALUE and no one can take your place." That just speaks to my heart as a single women right now. It reminds me that I don't need a man to have a purpose or calling on my own life. I can have those right now where I am and sometimes even better then if I was married. Being single is of infinite value and no one can take your place because you do different things when you are married. You have to follow two people really but when you are single you are following the One.
Married women, you have an important purpose and calling on your life too and no one can take your place. You might have children that you have to lead to the Lord. God called you to be that leader/keeper of the house. You have to keep everything in order so that the house would be a home full of love, peace, hope, and laughter. You might have to plan everything for everyday and that is not easy. You have to be that prayer warrior when your children are older and they won't listen to you at all.
I feel as women, whether single or married, we all have our special place and purpose in this world. We just have to remember that God made us for that certain thing, time, or place and He will use us there in His Way and then if it is His Will, He will move us on somewhere else. No matter where you are in life or what stage of life you are in, always remember: "You are worth investing in, sweet sister!" If you are married you might have to remind your husbands about that a few times so they can get the hang of what you are saying. Just saying. :)
I found this quote on my daily calendar last week and it really hit at a soft spot for me. I hate to admit it but sometimes I get so wrapped up in wanting to mean something to someone that I go looking for that someone, when really that someone should be looking for me. My future husband/man of my dreams should be looking for me, not the other way around. I am worth investing in for that one special person. That special person as to try and get me to talk. He has to ask questions that really matter and that are really deep.
People say that I am quite and shy, which is true but that is because I like to have deep talks with anyone and everyone. I don't like the small talk at all. I want to get to know a person deep and see how I can help with out if any way. I truly believe that while you invest in someone, whether friend or special person, it shows that you really do care about them. It shows that you care enough to dig pass all their baggage and really get to know them.
For girls and women of any age, we are a daughter of the King and A HOLY PRINCESS. We are far worth more then we give ourselves credit for most of the time. We are princesses that are to be given away, not taken away. We deserve those man who will treat us right even if it does take years to find them, even though they might be near. We want a "perfect" prince that God is also working on to make into a Godly husband and even sometimes father. In God's time, He will bring us together if you were meant to marry. Yet if you weren't meant to marry that is the best of them all because then you can serve your Heavenly Father and King however He sees fit.
The part of this quote that I like the best is this part: "a woman with a purpose in this world and a calling on your life. YOU ARE OF INFINITE VALUE and no one can take your place." That just speaks to my heart as a single women right now. It reminds me that I don't need a man to have a purpose or calling on my own life. I can have those right now where I am and sometimes even better then if I was married. Being single is of infinite value and no one can take your place because you do different things when you are married. You have to follow two people really but when you are single you are following the One.
Married women, you have an important purpose and calling on your life too and no one can take your place. You might have children that you have to lead to the Lord. God called you to be that leader/keeper of the house. You have to keep everything in order so that the house would be a home full of love, peace, hope, and laughter. You might have to plan everything for everyday and that is not easy. You have to be that prayer warrior when your children are older and they won't listen to you at all.
I feel as women, whether single or married, we all have our special place and purpose in this world. We just have to remember that God made us for that certain thing, time, or place and He will use us there in His Way and then if it is His Will, He will move us on somewhere else. No matter where you are in life or what stage of life you are in, always remember: "You are worth investing in, sweet sister!" If you are married you might have to remind your husbands about that a few times so they can get the hang of what you are saying. Just saying. :)
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Family of God
"While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”-Matthew 12:46-48
"Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.”-Luke 8:19-21
These two verses really spoke to me this past week because of situations that have been going on with some friends. I can't say too much about the situations because I want to respect my friends but I will say why these verses have touched me this week and what I learned from them.
When a friend or a person you know is going through something really hard, does it ever occur to you how you feel for that person and/or family? I mean in this situation I only know 3 out of the 7 people in the family and I still feel as though I need to help them in some way. I don't even personally know the person that is having the problems and I would love to but that still shouldn't matter. knowing 3 people is enough for me to pray for the situation they are going through because just knowing those 3 people and how close they are tells me a lot.
We might not be blood related in any way but in a way we are related in the family of God. It is strange that since I have moved down here in AR that ever since the very start of my adventure without knowing anything, I started going to the same church as them and still am 4 years down the road. I have tried to leave the church but I just can't for some reason. That church has a pull on me because it has a lot of different opportunities for me to learn from. The church really believes in being together for Christ. Actually being a church. I can't remember a time when I was growing up to where I actually felt that in a church.
The situation that is going on right now just makes me see what it means to be a part of the Family of God through the church more then through blood relations. I'm not scared to say that when I found out what was going on I started to cry and I do every time because I have worked with all kinds of children and I have nieces and nephews of my own. Some of the situations I can't even think of happening to any of my nieces and nephews. I can't even think about losing them to something. I would have to be really strong and really trusting the Lord in everything and I just don't think I could do it as well as my friends are when things get rough.
It was hard enough seeing children that were abused and not taken care of. I just wanted to go hunt down their parents and give them a talking to. Those problems I could put in my own hands compared to what my friends go through, what seems like every year almost. It deeply hurts me when I cannot fix a problem for any child especially a child that I know personally their mom, uncle, or even dad. In moments like these is when the family of God needs to come in and help. I don't know what it has been lately but lately I have felt that there was some kind of connection and maybe just being part of a spiritual family is that connection.
I spent time with my nieces and nephews, all day, yesterday for Halloween and kept thinking about what my friends are going through and have been through and I just can't even think of the feelings they must be feeling. It has changed the way I look at my nieces and nephews especially the younger ones. I have a niece the same age as my friend's daughter, only a few months younger, and I couldn't think of what it would be like if I had to go through the situation with her.
All this to say that no matter the situation, God will use it to teach people around you something. I might not have the connection to talk to them face to face but I always have the connection to pray for them and her and that is the best connection you could ever have. Prayer can do some powerful things if we just let it go. I have been through a lot that people shouldn't go through but it was in a way my decision and for some reason God wanted me to go that way too.
Just thinking of what I have been through with other people's children plus my nieces and nephews, gives me somewhat of an idea at least from the aunt perspective and right now that is all I want. I couldn't even think about what it would be like from a mother's perspective. Being an aunt and thinking those things are hard enough for me right now.
I can actually call those people my sisters and brothers in Christ because of situations like these. We are all fighting and praying for the same person and thing to happen. We are all being connected for one cause and hope.
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