Missing the Stories

          I called this entry "Missing the Stories" because I do miss the stories from my last job. Some of them were sad but at the same time they showed me how blessed I was with the things I have. Sometimes the stories were funny stories too because the children had great minds. I just think about all the stories I heard, I read, and I told them too and it just still breaks my heart but I am making some new stories at my new jobs. There are stories about my co-workers instead of the children but still it is neat and sad to hear them depending on what we are talking about.
         I love hearing about people's lives eespically when their lives are different then yours. It is getting down to that deeper part of getting to know the people. The part that I love to get at because I am a listener at heart and I like to learn all the time, which you do learn when you listen to stories. I, kind of, have a story here that I would like to write like I always do on here but it is more of a memory then anything.
         Don't get me wrong I love having Thanksgiving off and then half of the Friday after off but it is so hard to have it off when you haven't had it off for 2 years. When you have spent the last 2 years with children that don't have a family for Thanksgiving. This year is has probably been the hardest on me and I've probably had the most mixed feelings in this year then ever in my life. More confused then ever. I love my new job and it is just what I wanted but I miss the children I use to be a "mom" or "sister" too especially on the holidays.
           We wouldn't do anything big but have a Thanksgiving dinner because preschoolers really don't get the idea of it yet or these preschoolers didn't. I've always thought that I was living two lives when I worked at my old job and I was but at the same time I miss doing that. I think it is just know that I know the experience and I know that there are really children out there without a family to enjoy the holidays with, it just breaks my heart all over again. I'm thinking about some of my special children form that special place and just crying my eyes out and praying that they have a decent "real" family or foster family to spend the holidays with.
            There are 3 kids that I am thinking about right now and wish I could know how they are doing. I'm the tempted to look in my children's book and remember and thank God for all the good times I had with them. My good years at that job. I love the "normal" children I have right now and I will love my own if I ever have any. The question that I am asking now and it will be new when the time comes is: Will I love my own more then I loved the children at my last job? Right now, that is a love in my life that I can't explain along with another love but that love is still growing and being tested right now. I will say that the children are still winning it. :)
              If you read this tonight or on Thanksgiving Day, just remember that you are blessed to have a family to eat with and hang out with on a holiday. Some children don't and that is very sad. Not to bring down your Thanksgiving Day but really be thankful for the things you do have. If I could have any rule over "Black Friday", after everything I have been through this year, I would say "No" to it for everyone because no material things can replace the love of family and friends. Sometimes I think, as human beings, we get caught up in thinking they do. This year, I'm not scared to say, would probably be my most thankful year up to date right now.
              Ok. I'm done being on the soapbox with my passions, which mean I am done crying for now.