A Challenging Talk With a Friend

• This is a talk that I had with a friend of me and it really challenged me after I got to thinking about it a little after we were done talking:
  Me:
  i might regret asking this later but i'm going to ask anyways do you go to a church and if so where?
• Friend: I just started visiting churches again. havent gone in awhilewhy would you regret asking
  
• Me: 

  I'm iffy when it comes to those types of questions
  
• Friend:

  why?
  
• Me: 

  just scared of their responses i guess you could say.

  
  

  
  

  Sorry, it's been awhile since I have wrote a long and meaningful one on here. I have two blogs that I'm trying to keep up with now. That's how much is going on in my mind. You think since I found a good job and like position now it would be easy but no the devil and God doesn't make it that way. It is never easy with God unless you remember to have Him by your side. This entry is going to be about a talk that I had with my friend and where I kind of with God right now. It is a different and new feeling then I ever had before and I am kind of scared about it. I feel like the devil could just turn around and get me any day or any moment now and I don't know why. It is like I am never happy anymore. If I'm happy with one thing, then it is on to the next thing that I need to fix to make me happy like now I like my job so time to find me a guy. That's not the point of the entry though but close to it or at least it is to me. I really believe that another thing the devil is trying to get me to do now is to get me to doubt God. I love all the people I have around me but they seem so much smarter and more about their relationship with God or at least interested in Him. I feel bad for being a person who shows who God is through my actions and loving on children instead of using my words. A friend of mine and I got talking and that is what is up above. I randomly asked my friend if my friend went to church and if so where because I just had that feeling and I even told my friend that I might regret it later. My friend hasn't been going to church lately. My friend stopped going for awhile but my friend is back into looking for a church. As you can see, my friend asked me why I would regret asking my friend that question and you see my response. I wasn't to happy with myself or the answer that I gave my friend. I could have been a lot more deeper and serious with it but instead I told my friend, "I'm iffy when it comes to those types of questions." Then my friend, I felt like, challenged me and asked me, "Why?" I think my friend really wanted to know why though. Then, as you can see, I told my friend that, "I'm just scared of the responses I might get. After the talk, I thought a lot about it right afterwards and then it has been coming back to me every now and then. This talk was about 2 or 3 weeks ago. It started off strange but that is a whole other story that won't be put on here. What I got to thinking when I was thinking about the talk was I shouldn't be scared of asking people "do they go to church?" That is not at all how Jesus would want me to act. Jesus went up to everyone and asked them, "Do you know My Father?" Then not only has God put this talk in my way and on my heart but I'm a friend with another person that seems so into Him that you would think she grew up in a church but she didn't. She doesn't know all the "Bible" language yet. She didn't hear the kiddie Bible stories that we are take for granted if we grew up in a church and other things like that. I really feel like God is trying to tell me something with these two. It is either: "You need to take me more seriously" or "You need to get back to knowing the real Me" or one more thing: "You need to get out of your slump because you aren't there anymore. You have a bright future ahead of you know because you know and are learning what you really can do." I feel like I was stuck in one job for way too long and that it brought me down a long way. I remember thinking before that job that I would rather have any other job besides this preschool job but, now here I am after getting let go last July, thinking I love being a lead toddler teacher. It is like God opened my eyes and asked me, "Are you for sure this is what you want or do you want your old job back?" God is for sure rebuilding my self-esteem, confidence, courage, and so on if anything right now. God just took me on a side road and showed me what it would be like and so I would know for sure if I wanted that or not. I will admit on that side road, I met some amazing children that I will never forget and some amazing people that I will also never forget. Not only did the children touch my heart but some of the staff there did too and I hope they know that too. The main thing that the some of the staff did was keep me sane when I felt like I was going to lose it all. They pushed me through the really hard times.