A Full Year of God by my Side

       Today marks my one year since I was rebapized. It was this past Saturday, if we want the day of the week instead of the number. It has been a year too. Let me tell you. I have never felt closer to God then I do now. The first year was a real struggle for me but it is starting to make sense again at least for now. God is still working on me but when is He not. Lately, He has been working on my prayer life, I feel like.
         My year with God started out rough and challenging but God has taught me a few things along the way. I also got to experience some things I never thought I would and some situations, but by the Grace of God, I was able to pull through them all. I hope this shows some of that jounrey too. I expect my 2nd year to be more adventurous and happy and less sad.
         I really think I started out not listening to God like I should have but has the year went on, I started to get the hint a bit more and more. I was in situations where I either had to rely on God or at least talk and ask questions to Him. Situations like where I felt and maybe even was the only Christian there, having my passion doubted because I did or thought things differently. Moments where I just want to give up on life and everyone else. Moments I had no idea what I wanted or needed to do and moments I had to change things in my life like my actions and that was hard too.
            There were also times that I had to come to some realizations and of course that is always hard and even the sins that were in my life. I also felt like I was being tested on who God really was and why I believed what I did about Him. I got asked questions and came in contact with people that I never thought I would. I got called names like "Jesus Freak" and "church goer".
            You know when you go through things at that moment and you have no idea why? You just want to get things done and over with. Then a year or so later on you see why and the results of the hard things you went through. That is how this past year has been for me. Oh, we can't forget the whole moving process and getting a new job either and how those went about. Those were dinfantly different and relying on God for sure. Through those I saw that I changed more then I thought I did while living in AR and that I like and can do things by myself. I saw more of who I was and could be. Sharing things once again was hard and having to be on one or two different schedules was hard too. 

             Then packing and unpacking is always hard when you move place to place but God provided for me in that time. He gave me people to help me pack and move. Then I have been going through a financial problem or what I call a problem because I was lower on money then I wanted to be and it took awhile but I'm getting back up there where I was. I have a lot of credit cards to pay off too still but I know know that God will provide and keep providing. I think or I should say I know that God showed me through this past year that He is the Provider of my life and when His Timing is right He will provide the right things for me. Some of the things I am still waiting on and might be waiting on for a longer time and some of the things I might never get but that is because God knows what is best for me. 

            He put me in that spot last year so I could see how blessed I was now with the job and okay living situation that I have now. It might not be all that right now but it is what I have been wanting or a least the job is. It is more money and less time. I finally have time for myself and God, which means exploring both God and more of my hobbies and things like that. I feel like I am retelling my last year like I did in already in an entry but it is true. God has been by my side all this time and I see it now. When  you give your life over to Him, it won't be all peaceful and easy but God is by your side to help you along the way. As long as you believe that, things will be okay and you will get through things. I have grown to Love God more then I ever have and will continue to grow that Love but that is just because I know God has something more for me in store as long as my life goes on and on. 

            I'm just know starting to understand this all and especially with the Bible study I am in this semester and God told me to take it because I was in another one but that one didn't feel right. With this Bible study teaching me what I need to know, I can't wait to see what God has in store for me later on in the year. When you hear after all of this "mess" that God has something big plan for you and that He is preparing you for something up ahead then it was all worth it. I just pray that I will continue to grow in that Love Relationship with God and if I need to look back on this and remember what He did for me because it was a life changing moment for me. That is for sure! I explained it the best I could. Wish there were words to explain it but it was just a year with no words. :) It was a year that I started to see God really bless me because I decide to not only follow Him but to personally Love Him as well. 

Challenge: "You might think you are loving God when you are only really following Him." 

Are you just following Him or do you have that personal Love relationship with Your Father and Provider, God? It is something to think about. 

Examining My Motives

Psalm 26:2, “Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” (NIV)

James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (NIV)

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First, Saul failed to obey God fully in 1 Samuel 15:9, yet he told the prophet Samuel he had obeyed.

Next, in 1 Samuel 15:30, he chose to value how he looked in people’s eyes over how he looked in God’s eyes.

Finally, in 1 Samuel 18:9, he allowed jealousy to overtake his heart toward David. He deceived himself.

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         I am finally going to finish this blog that has been in my drafts for at least two months. I didn't want to throw this one away because it is a real problem that I have and know all too well about. It is something I need to be reminded to do every day before I even leave the house. I think I got the verses, stuff about Saul, and prayer from one of my Bible study websites way back when. They spoke to me then and they still speak to me now. 

         I want God to examine my heart and motives instead of me doing it. When I check my motives, it is all about what I want and on my own strength. When God examines them, then I can be sure it is from Him and I can do it. Ever since I have been wanting to write this, I can say I am getting better at giving my motives to God and listening to Him. 

         There were and are times that I think about doing or saying something but then I pray about it first and then do what God says to. Not only does it have to do with checking them, it also has to do with the wisdom you have. If it is the same thing you have done over and over and it still hasn't worked, then why do it again for the same reason. You have to have the wisdom to know what and when it works too. You are growing when you keep checking your motives. You put those baby motives aside and come up with motives that work for that certain situations. Every person is different and you will realize that with the wisdom that you have. 

           That is why you have to examine you motives overtime before you do something.  I know take a few weeks to even a month going over my motives, both before and after I do what I wanted to. I know that it is better to do what God tells you to do at that moment but if it is really something God wants you to do He will bring it back to mind or not let you forget about it. I can tell you that I have refused things before and God brought them back to my mind a few months later telling me to do it on this certain day or for this certain reason. 
           God does that sometimes so He can change our motives. We might want to do the thing or say the things because it will look good for us but we don't think about the other person. God tells us to wait and makes us think about the other person for a few moments and might in the process change our thinking. Our motives might be because we want something from a person, when really God is just saying to us this person deserve this because of what she or he has done in their lifetime. You don't need anything back after doing or saying this. 
            That is actually how Saul felt in the little phases that I put on this entry. Saul had disobeyed God because He wanted something else but yet told Samuel he had done what he was told to get approval by Samuel. He chose how to look in the people's eyes around him instead of God's eyes. That is very important to think about when we examine our motives too. How do we want to look to people and to God? Does it matter either way? Yes, it does. we should want to look great in God's eyes and forget about the people around us as long as we know we are doing what God wanted us to do in the first place.
           If you keep doing the same motive over and over without going to God first it can lead to feelings and emotions like jealously and leave people that you should have cared about in the first place deceived. When we don't examine our motives it could lead people to sin and we, ourselves, are sinning because it isn't what God wants us to do. Even if it is the right thing, maybe it isn't the right time. I can't say that I am prefect at it yet or if I will ever get there because I probably won't because I am human. The thing I can do, though, is at least try. I can take my motives to God every time I feel like they are coming on and then go from there. 
           We will make mistakes and read or hear God wrong but that is when God teaches us through our mistakes and forgives us. He is a Loving God and we need to see that in things like this. It is out of God's heart that He teaches us things because He wants us to be in His Image the best we can be. I love the prayer that I can from the same lesson and put on here too. We do need to humble ourselves and seek God's wisdom and submit to His ways that is what examining means in this context. We need to open our eyes to see that we are too dependent on ourselves and not enough on God.  The only way that we can know if our motives are right with His motives is walking with Him every day of our lives. 

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Holy Spirit, help me humble myself, seek Your wisdom and submit to Your ways — not what appears to be right to me. Open my eyes to see when I’m too dependent on my own strength. I want to hear You, see You and walk with You every day, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I Purpose to Engage.......

          LOVE!!!!!!

         

         I purpose to be "Engaging Love" was the theme that I picked for this month. Some might think I picked it just because Valentine's Day was this month but I had more of a reason then that. At the start of the month, when I was thinking what the theme would be, I was learning on how to have a closer love relationship with Christ in my Bible study. I wanted that kind of relationship too.

         I will say those few days really opened my eyes to what a love relationship looks like with God. I am still learning about it through that Bible study. Now I am learning how it is revealed to us, which is really interesting. God reveals it through three ways. Those ways are His Word, prayer, church, and situations. There is no better way to engage in God's Love then those three ways plus to be a part of the bigger plan He has for the world. Once you are engaged in His Love, He won't let you go. It takes a lot of trust and faith but is worth it in the end. I know I need to pray more about this kind of relationship. That is why I made a month worth of it.
          I can tell you that having these two things as my focus really helped me have a great Valentine's Day. Engaging in God's Love is something we need to do everyday, not one month out of the year. That is my new goal for life. Whatever it is like to engage in Love with Him, I will follow in Love. I will be honest here too. It just isn't about God's Love but that is the first one that I need to get in with and be on His side if I want other things to happen. If I want to have an adventurous life then I need God by my side. I am also thinking about showing God's Love to other people. 

          When I get so filled up with God's Love, I don't know what to do with it at times. That is when I pray to God about how does He want me to use and pass on that Love onto other people. I don't what to say that I do it every time because there are times that I forget or just don't feel like doing it. There are days that I want to love on the children I am around no matter how they behave and then there are days where I only have a limited amount of love and patience. I have noticed, though, when I pray for strength for the week or next day that is when I love better and actually take the time to get to know the children and/or people I am around. 

            That is why we have to ask God, on a daily basis, for His Love to be in us. We have to ask Him to let people see Him through us through our actions. I am a firm believe that actions show Love better then any words can and ever will. God shows us His Love through actions too most of the time but there are times where it is said too like maybe an answer to pray is someone saying something you needed to hear right at that moment. I have had a lot of thoughts about what to be engaged in when I first thought about this project back in January and I can even tell you some of the things I thought about. Those things were: in Ministry. Well, I guess that was my only other thing to be engaged with. 

             To me, though, before you do anything with any ministry you have to understand God's Love and that He is Love. That is His main characteristic. Nothing will work in that ministry if you don't understand that about God. I keep saying "in Love" and I typed that out at the start of this entry but then I got to thinking, I like "I purpose to engage Love" better and here is why. When you say "in Love", it seems like you are just talking about the feeling but when you say, "Love", that can be taken in two ways. You can stick with the love feeling or You can think about it as you are engaging in God but Love is just another name for Him. See what I am saying? So another name for God is how I am looking at it from now on. You could even put "engage the One and Only True Love".

             "I Purpose to Engage Love" is my theme and prayer this month and I need to be more active in praying that these last two weeks then I have ever been this month. You can tell I am thinking about it more, though, because I am not waiting until March to write on this month's idea. I would like to be a little earlier next month on the idea so I can remember to pray all month about it but we will see what happens. I do have it picked out already but you will just have to wait and see what it is til sometime next month. 

            

Choice of Being Single

"If a man has a woman friend to whom he is loyal but never intended to marry, having decided to serve God as a “single,” and then changes his mind, deciding he should marry her, he should go ahead and marry. It’s no sin; it’s not even a “step down” from celibacy, as some say. On the other hand, if a man is comfortable in his decision for a single life in service to God and it’s entirely his own conviction and not imposed on him by others, he ought to stick with it. Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness."-1 Cor. 7:36-38 (MSG)

Just Be Held

        I know I have an entery called this from last year but that is just the lyrics to the song. I have heard it on the radio two times and thought the same thing at both times. The thought just popped into my mind the first time and it was really strange. It showed how God was working in my life during the hard times at my old job. Now I love the song even more because it meant something  in my life. God was working and speaking through it to me.
         When I heard it on the radio for the first time this month, it was on the radio on the way to work in the morning. I might have even told a little story about it earlier on but I felt the need to write a whole entery about it. I heard the end of it this morning too when I got in the car. I started listening to that song every morning at my old job to calm me before the children and teachers came in. It just reminded me that no matter what happened that day I was held by God. It also gave me peace to start my day and made the day easier.
          Little did I know, though, that it talked about what was going to happen later in my life. I really think that song helped me through the last days at my old job. I felt like God was telling me that He had a hold of me in my next job after that one. He knew what He was doing with all the changes and hard days and people there. No matter what happened, He had me in His Arms. He had a job lined up for me I just didn't know it at the time.
         A job that I would love yet at the same time have time for myself and God. I wouldn't be so overworked and stressed. A job that I dreamed of in the past with people I knew how to get along with because of my past. A job that paid more and that was connected to the public schools. The only problem was that I didn't know when the change would happen or how. I didn't want to get fired from the job I had at the moment so I needed to fine another way to calm myself until I was for sure of the next step.
          That is what the song helped me do. It helped me stay calm and strong until I got the for sure sign to move on to a place that would understand me for me. God was holding me at that place everyday until things were with His Timing. Until He knew I couldn't take it anymore. It was a better way to handle things then I had in the past. Just because of this song by "Casting Crowns" I held on for as long as I could with a God like attitude.

          Now I am in His Hands all the time and I love it. I Love the job that I have now. I have time to spend with God when I want to or sure now. Yet at the same time, I can be with my younger and older children as I please. I got a subbing job at a preschool and my real job is at a public school and I love that. Why? Because I grew up in the public schools so I feel like I am home. It might be tiring but I am around Kindergarten to 4th grade for about 4 hours per day and I love it. I get to do everything with them from games to crafts. More then I ever got to with the preschools. This is the life that I love and it is still easy to get off when I want off. 

           It is calm and relaxing and I have time to do the things I love whether spending time with God or doing crafts by myself. I feel like I am where I should be now and I am enjoying if for sure. I feel like I am being held by God all day, every day right now. Yeah, there are some questions and doubts still from day to day but more then anything I have been thanking God a lot more for where I am now then where I was. I have been that know how to talk to and encourage their workers often and I have a great team that I work with and can be smart alike with from day to day so that helps a lot too. 

         God will continue to hold me while I am on this earth. I feel like God has bigger plans for me down the road and He only gave me a little of what it is like to be held by Him. At least, I know what it feels like and could look like so later on down the road I can keep my eyes open and watch for Him to be by my side through thick and thin.
          

God-Filled Valentine's Day

        Yesterday was a busy day for me but it was mostly fun too. Besides the rain all day and a headache it caused, it was a God-Filled Valentine's Day because I made it that way. I kind of started a new tradition for myself this year. I had to work both jobs but that didn't bother me because it helped me keep my mind busy, even though I could of used a nap all morning.
         This was probably the best Valentine's Day I had in awhile. I made excuses to do things. This was the first Valentine's in awhile that I really felt God's Love for me, if ever. I showed myself that by buying myself a coffee, some M&Ms, and a dozen yellow roses. I wasn't going to past Valentine's Day up again without any gifts. I also celebrated with other people in a way. I gave out Valentine's cards and candy to my kids at work. I had a good dinner and ice cream with my brother and his family. I gave stuffed teddy bears to my AR nieces and nephews too.
       What really got me yesterday was God's Love for me? It just overwhelmed me. My friend posted something and said "God's Love is greater then any other" and I'll admit I did cry just a little but it was a good cry. This Valentine's Day was really different then last year's Valentine's Day. I looked back at the entries I wrote right before and after and it was strange. This time during last year my church was talking about suffering and I was thinking about redirecting my life to God. I did two weeks later but it was like perfect timing because I feel like I went through a lot last year and it was in a way suffering for God but now I see where I am as on. Mission for Him. I saw God's Love in a lot of ways last year after redirecting my life to Him.
         Which lead me to where I am today, deeper in Love with my Father, God, so I celebrated that. It is strange too how the church and my Bible study fitted again with this month too this year. The church's theme was God's Missions and they talked a lot about God's Love and why we are here and how important we are in God's plan. Then my Bible study is the "Experiencing God" one. It just so happens that this week, the week of Valentine's Day, is about "Love and God's Invitation" to do work for Him. It is all about how loving God will make you want to follow Him in the way He wants you to go. I even day 1 and 2 and 3 before Valentine's Day which was "Know Him", "Worship Him", and "Love Him".  It really got me to thinking and now after Valentine's Day it is about the invitation that God has for me to join Him in the work that He is doing in this World. 

            That Bible study also talks about how God puts things together to experience Him and I don't think any of this was on purpose. I think God knew what He was doing when He did things last year around this time and this year at the same time. God wanted me to see what suffering was like, just like He did, and then the reward that I get when I suffer through it to get on His Mission with Him and His Deep Love. God, also, just wants me to see how much He Loves me and at the same time enjoy it while I can. He doesn't want me to think about any other person especially a guy. He wants me to think about Him, Love myself for who I am in Him, and to Love on family and the other people around me like the children. 

         I think if and until I get a boyfriend I made a new tradition for myself. That tradition is buying flowers, chocolates, and coffee for my on Valentine's Day if I am alone like I was this year and if it is during the week. Also, wanting to say that I did get a book and CD I wanted from my parents but I have to go home to get the CD. There is also a dancing bear waiting for me at home from a family friend of mine. I know I have other people that Love me but sometimes it is just good to remind ourselves that we can love ourselves through God loving us and for visual learners like me, I need to see things. :)

A Love Prayer to God

Dear Daddy,


      I want to talk about this past Saturday night at church. It was a really good sermon and much needed afterwards for me. Just looking up at Your sky and creations. Talking to you about my life plans and dreams. I need to get back into the habit of doing that. I also need to make it a habit of looking up more and more to You. Remembering that whatever you put on my heart You will finish it somehow. It was all about Your Love and giving You the honor and glory you deserve. I was to Love You and be amazed by You. It was a perfect sermon for this Valentine's Day for me. You couldn't time it anymore perfect  then You did. It is all about You this week. How to worship and Love you. It's all about a relationship with You and not an earthly one. Daddy, please help me be more engaged in Love this month and especially this week.


In Christ's Name,

Amen

Lake Girl-A Poem

I'm such a lake girl. That explains
a lot about me. I love spending
time by the lakes even if they are
small ones. Growing up by one might
have something to do with that.

Maybe it is the look of the sun on
the water. The shiney dots on and
on in the water. Maybe it is the
people around it fishing. Bringing
back good old memories for me.

I know it is the peaceful feeling
when nothing around you seems
right or hard. The wind blowing
in your hair making you think
you are care free. It is the small
waves getting bigger and bigger
with the wind.

Showing you that life can be
rough sometime. Yet at the
same time there can be smooth
moments too. It is a lot prettier
with the bring blue sky out.
Seeing God's creation all around
you.

Making you want more of it. You
can never get enough. Swimming
in that brown water time and time
again. Now that I think about it
big or small I do love the lake.
From pond size to two states wide.
I've been around lakes all my life.



Written By: Tiffney Wilson
Written On: Feb. 11th, 2017

God Uses People to Teach Others

        God's Love is Amazing! God's Love is Great! God's Love is Unconditional! This is what I'm learning at my Bible study especially this week. I don't know if I can recall how many times God showed me His Love this week in the strangest ways. I'm going to try though.
        It has been a hard week for me. I have worked extra hours and would get upset over the little things. Things like payments due, worrying about the cost of meds, and getting help. I also worked to extra mornings, which made me really sleepy. God showed me in those little ways that He will and can provide. A payment got paid off because I finally humbled myself to let it get paid off.
       The meds. were less then I thought they would be once I got my insurance to work. I could afford them after that. I also got a 2 and a half hour nap yesterday. Those were the small things but it was at Bible study last night that changed my outlook on a lot of things. It was about having a "Real" Love relationship with God. I took a lot of notes in the margins of my book last night of what was said.

            One thing that I noticed about me: "I am a person who likes to keep really busy during the day like working a full day but yet I can't at this job. If I do work a full day it is because I am subbing at a preschool and then going to my main job. God tells us to take the time. through, and spend it with Him. That is another thing I got from last night. You don't need to be busy for God but you do need to take the time for Him. It made me think about my time I have between my shifts. I know I have barely enough money to live on right now with my job but did God give me this job so I can spend more time with Him. I actually have time now to read the Bible and pray more then I ever had before because I worked a full time job. Is God wanting me to get closer and Love on Him more during this season of my life?
         I've also been doing this Love thing all wrong all of my life. Towards God and towards people. If I got one thing from last night, it was "God can put people in your life to show you what you need to work on in your life." I can say God has done that for me all my life when I look at my life and I have been responding the wrong way all that time too. He puts people in my life that I try to encourage and talk to them but that talking turns out to something that I needed for myself. It is something that I write down so I can understand because overtime I'm thinking that could be me. I think, "Hey, I needed that too" but it doesn't hit me until I write it out as encouragement to someone else. 

          As I think about it and my past, I noticed I have been doing it since high school and so has God. God has been putting people in my life to teach me things about myself but I turn it back on them. I noticed I was bad at it when I went to my friends for every little question I had and I got better at that part but not the big emotions part. I need to work on that part now. I need to try and understand God and what He is doing in my life. I need to turn to His Love for me because He cares that way for me. He will use people but I don't need to say anything to those people unless they ask. The strange thing in my situations is that the people have the same or almost same personalities and they have a dream that they are going towards. 

        I need to stop looking at the person like they need help or encouragement from me and look at them as a gift from God that He gave me to help me through some of my hardest times and growth. That is why I write those random emails sometimes to my friends because I just need it down on "paper". It also helps seeing how they live their lives for God and how I should live my life for him too. God works through them to me. There was also something else that caught my attention last night and that I couldn't agree with more. One of the lady leaders told me something that confirmed something I already felt. She told me, "That there is something big that God has planned for you and it will happen soon." 

           For me, that could be so many things because I want to do so many things but now that I know something big is going to happen, I can start asking God, "What is it?" Is it this or that? Does it have to do with them or just a person? I can start down the path God wants me down, now that I know something is going to happen. I see it too because I feel like I have reach the very rock bottom as it can get. I have experienced it now it is time to bring me out of it. I think with starting this new and understanding of a Love Relationship with Christ that "thing" will happen because my outlook is being changed. I am focusing more on God and who He wants me to be then anything else.

           "Loving God is the most important thing we have to do in life. When we do that, everything else falls into place." "God should be our 1st and foremost thing in this life."

Worthless-A Poem

    Worthless is not a
Feeling you want to feel.
It feels tiring. It feels like
You have no energy left.
It feels like you can't do
Anything right. It also
Feels like no one understands
You.

It is where you have reached
The bottom of the pit. There
Is no way out. You are left there
Fighting for yourself. You
Might have little holes here
And there that you try to go
Through but can't. It seems
Like it will never end.

It is either one thing or the
Other thing. You are happy
With one part of your life
But the other part not so
Much. It is also a lie from
Satan himself.

It is one way that Satan
Loves to get people. It
Is the most painful too.
If Satan gets you to feel
Worthless, then he can
Make everything else fall
Down around you.

There is someone who
Loves you unconditionally.
That Someone is God. He
Will give you whatever you
Need to get through it. He
Will give courage,
Preservation, and make you
Determined.

God loves you
For who you are in Him. He
Made you in His image. You
Are Love by Him and that is
All that should matter. When
Your focus is on God loving
You, you can do anything
For Him.

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: Feb. 9th, 2017

How Are People Liking My Blog?

           I'm glad I am getting more then 300 views. Am I really getting that much or is something going on with this website? I have been getting more then 300 views in the past three days and 700 of them are coming from the USA. Can anyone tell me what might be going on? How would I know if I am getting hacked or have been hacked? Is that a possibility when I'm getting more then 300 views. It is funny because like I said I have been getting this for the past two days. I have been on this blog website for about 3 years or 3 and a half years now. I'm just worried that it is getting hacked and that I need to move my blog to somewhere else.
           Am I the only one with these "problem" going on or are other people on here having that happening to them? Please leave comments on here. I really want to know what is going on so it can help me write safely. Thanks.

Experiencing God in my Life

          This past week I have probably experienced God in my life more then any other time or at least it has been awhile since I have noticed Him working in my life. I was going to write 3 entries about the three different things that happened to me this week but then I decided to put them all in one entry so it would be easier to follow along. I could also write them in one setting if I did it that way. God has been talking to me in a lot of ways this week. Three different ways is what I got to experience and I'm telling you this past week was only the second week of the "Experiencing God" Bible Study at my church. God is doing something if He is already trying to seek to me through different ways.
           The 1st time this week when I felt God speaking to me was from a song on the radio while I was on my way to work. The song "Just Be Held" was on there are it just took me back to my last job and when I was hoping to get one that I really liked and could make a difference with. I felt at peace when the song came on at that time this week because I knew through everything that has been going on that God was holding me and getting me through it. It was also funny because that is the song I played every morning on the iPad before the kids would come in at my last job. I felt like I was be held onto until a better job came along for me. God knew just at the right time when to bring the job I am at now to me and everything worked out and now I am at peace.
             I will tell you this: these 3 different situations felt like God was telling me that you can be a peace now. I (God) have everything under control, just live your life like you want to and I will take care of things. The 2nd time I felt like God was talking to me this week was when I was with a mentor and talking about my life and trying to get me hooked up with another mentor along the same stages as life for me. It was just a meeting to get to know me a little better so she knew how to match me up with someone else. I started talking to her about my high school days and my two favorite things which was FFA and Cross Country. Then we got to the subject about how I got into Cross Country and I told her the whole story and it has been awhile since I told someone that story.
           The story of how I was playing soccer when the cross country coach mentioned something about me being in Cross Country. At that soccer game, where I got hit/kicked in the nose with a soccer ball. Then going home and my parents telling me that the Cross Country coach said I would be great at running. Then it made me think about how the past 3 years my coach kept giving me the award for "Most Determined" and I will say I have to agree with that still to this day he was right. I didn't see that at those moments in time but now I got a glance at that again and it makes sense. It is a moment I have never forgot about and now it is a moment I still won't ever forget with a new meaning behind it. The coach saw something in me that I had no idea that I had and I lived it out in my high school years. I played 8th grade soccer when this happened so I had the whole summer to think about joining Cross Country.
               I'll admit there were some times I wanted to stop it altogether but my determination kept me at it just like my determination is keeping me at life right now. The 3rd situation was an answer to prayer that I just prayed this past Monday. I prayed "That God would just show me my friend, just to know that my friend was safe." Last night at church, God did that and I was okay with it. I felt more at peace after I saw my friend and him smiling around the church so it is good. I left church feeling like I got what I prayed for. I smiled at the end of church while walking out to my car and when I got home I just sat in peace and freedom. I felt like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I knew my friend was safe and loving life so that is what I am going to leave it at. I did have a convo. with God when I got home and I felt at peace about everything.
              Now all I have to do is believe and keep my eyes looking for those little things more and more throughout my days. Yet at the same time, I will have to learn how to see if they line up with God's Will for me. I still need to get into the Word more and study it. God will start small and then keep getting bigger and bigger until He has us where He wants us. 

MO vs. South America

         I have to write this down so I'll never forget it. This is a little talk I had with one of my little boys yesterday about the way I talk. It will be a really short entry.

Little Boy: Miss Tiffney, where are you from?

Me: Missouri

Little Boy: That explains it.

Me: Why?

Little Boy: You know my mom and dad are from "South America" (my words, he said the state) and they have a hard time speaking sometime.

      
         

        This little boy is in 2nd grade and he can put together those two things. He is pretty smart and in a way compassionate.

I Purpose to Embrace......

"God's Reasons."

        I started a new thing for this year. It is an idea I got from a certain author. She gave the action word for each month and then we are suppose to come up with something to work on during that month. There were also prayer sheets too so we could prayer about it theoughout the month. The action word for last month was "Embrace". 

         I had to ask myself, "what did I want to embrace" and the answer came up as "God's Reasons". It was good for me because I would always remind myself that God had a reason for this and it would get me through the day. I would also change things throughout the month because I felt like God had a better reasoning for the other thing.

         Here are some examples that happened in my life, this month, that I needed to see God's reasoning. I looked at my friends' lives and see if I could see some reasoning in their lives that I could use in mine. I know that isn't a good thing to do either. I need to stop that and I'm working on that.

         The other example was a in my life. I reasoned between two Bible studies. I really wanted to take "Entrusted" by Beth Moore because it was just by her but there was another Bible study I wanted to take too. That Bible study was called "Experiencing God". I started taking the Beth Moore one and found out it wasn't what I needed. It was all about mentoring and I'm just not at that part of my life yet. I'm the one that needs to be mentored.

         The "Experiencing God" one was just want I need. I love it! It is all about having a closer relationship with God and right now that is what I need. I'm still building that true love relationship with Him. It is all about hearing Him speak to where I can follow Him to my calling. This was my big thing in January to go with my words. 

         That was January's word and I'm just now writing about it. That s why it is my 1st entry for February. I will admit, though, I need to do better this month with it.
         Happy Groundhog's Day! We have 6 more weeks of Winter. He saw his shadow.