The Long Wait

"The long wait Home is easier when you are focusing on the Trophy."

(aka "The long walk home is easier when you are carrying a trophy."-The Hunting' Grounds)



              I will say this entry thought process has been in my drafts for a long time with that saying above. I still like it so I am not going to delete but I might take a different turn then I was going to when I first thought of this entry because I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I will go ahead and tell you that I was going to focus on how our journey to our Heavenly home is a long wait but it makes it easier when you are focusing on the Trophy, that is God. Here lately, though, God has been showing me another meaning of the Long wait that I really want to write about instead. The Wait I want to talk about now is: The waiting process in a relationship. I know I am taking a sightly different turn but then again I am not. They can go hand in hand if you really think about them both at the same time.
             When waiting to see if a guy likes you and for him to start the relationship (yes, I am old fashioned), it might seem like the longest process in your life. That is if you just met the guy randomly of the street or somewhere like church or school. When you have known the guy for a few years and are really stubborn, then it seems like the longest process ever or at least it does to me. I have come to a sense that I can't make a guy like me. Yes, I can pray about it and leave it in God's hands and ask God to do certain things but there is never that assurance that God will do what you have asked of Him. Trust me, I have done those things too. Any of my guy friends will tell you, though, that I can be pushy at times with or without knowing it.
             I admit it really didn't bother me that much in high school or college because well, I didn't have my life even close to ready. I have grown so much since college in all the ways. One way I started to see things differently is my heart and the heart of the person I cared a lot about. His intentions were in the right place when he would let me down softly and had every right to do so now that I look back but I didn't realize it back then. Because I didn't realize it back then, I will admit I was a little pushy, okay maybe a lot of pushy, depends on who you ask but it came from a good place or that is what I thought at least. Here lately as I learn more about myself and who I am and more about the guy, things started to become clearer.
              I feel like God is just telling me to wait on things. I don't know what things just yet but I feel like He is telling me to wait and just enjoy life. He knows my heart's desires and He is getting things ready for me and getting me ready for those things too. This past year in May (May 2016-May 2017) I had a really hard time understanding what Love really meant and what it meant to have a relationship even with God. I just didn't understand certain things and the way they were happening, I guess you could say. I had a certain situation that I didn't understand at all but didn't even know it had a real affect on me until this past May. I even totally forgot about it until the day was coming up this year. It wasn't easy coming up to it again but I will say that this month as been the strongest month yet for me to understand what having a relationship with anyone really means.
               I have stepped back and stopped being so pushy since this year and I would like to think I am getting better every month. I have also become more real with people around me or at least I am trying on that. But like I said, this all happened a year ago and that year went by really fast but after this May, things started to get slow again and take forever. It is the long wait for someone to love you. I am starting to see that it is a wait and that the longer it feels and takes the more that person is worth it. Why? You might ask. Because God is taking His time to prepare them and you for what is ahead. I find myself praying for the person or myself when I feel like it as been too long. I will say the last time I wrote a friend of mine was just last month around Mother's Day and that seems like a long time. I want to write that friend again.
              But there are times where I have to hold myself back, those are the times that I pray for my friend because usually it is something that I want to tell them about myself or what I learned or just sometimes, yes I do this, even to connect them but I don't. Instead, I take it to God and I hand it over to Him and let Him handle it with my friend. I'm letting God have more and more of the situation even though it seems like a really, really long wait. It is a process just like everything else is in life. You might not understand it at first but as you get older and around more people you start to understand it. It seems like it has been 3 months when really it as only been one month. I haven't told you this yet either but I have tried to stop or back off in the past especially when I started to realize that I was being pushy but there was always that little something I had to tell my friend or comment to my friend.
              I don't even do that anymore. It all goes to God. The deepest feelings for anything or anyone goes to God. That is how I handle things right now and to be honest, I probably started that after my first friend's wedding in April this past year because I just couldn't take it anymore. It is just strange the things you will do for a person you really care about and sometimes the most important thing you can do is wait. I don't know any better way to show a person that you really care by doing that and praying in the process. Yes, it drives me nuts sometimes but then I look at the past and remind myself the past is not something that I want to repeat so why don't I keep trying it this way and see if it words. Trying to do it God's way and be happy with it instead of doing it my way. I have also experienced it with my jobs but that is a whole other entry in itself. That is like: "The Long Wait-Part 2".
              I guess what I am trying to say here is that: "The Long wait, rather it is waiting to go to your Heavenly Home or waiting on something or someone, is always worth it. You will be amazed at what God can do during those waiting times." I can be sure that when you look back at the times you felt like you were waiting for things, you will be grateful that you did follow God and waited at that moment in time.