60 Things I Am Thankful For

Psalm 9:1New International Version (NIV)

1 

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart;    I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Friendship with God

2. Parents that care and help me

3. The Huntin' Grounds

4. My Apartment= a place to live

5. Friends

6. Food to eat

7. A job I love

8. A Truck Horn

9. Clothes to Wear

10. Children

11. Beautiful Fall Colors

12. A way to talk to God about my most important things.

13. Sleep

14. Babies

15. Fellowship Bible Church

16. Co-Workers I can joke with

17.  Phone

18. My Nieces and Nephews

19. My Good Health

20. A Close Family

21. Coffee

22. My Long Term Subbing Job

23. Pay Days

24. Missed Opportunities

25. Dream come true

26. The Path God Has for me

27.  God's Grace

28.  Confidence

29. Peace

30. Washer and Dryer

31. Car

32. Cooler Weather

33. Having Things to Commit to

34. Strength to get through each day

35. Puzzle Pieces

36. Outdoors

37. Creativity

38. Regular work hours, not too early.

39. Sunrise

40. Water

41. The feeling of freedom from things.

42. Being a teacher's kid

43. Books

44. Patience 

45. Safety 

46. Being in the Moment

47. Pets

48. Quietness / "Me" Time

49. Meaningful talks

50. Time of work in life

51. Missouri

52. Arkansas

53. Singleness

54. Strong work ethic

55. Sunsets

56. Farmers in my life.

57. Hardships

58. Stars in the county 

59. Traditions

60. Forgiveness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           Here is my list of what I am thankful for this year. I have came up with all of these 60 things just in this month of November and by Thanksgiving. I could keep going on to 100 things, which I think I will in one of my journals, but I just wanted to get something on my blog for Thanksgiving. I might even explain some of the things later on in the next month because it is just good to be reminded of what we have to be thankful for and why.

Jealous of a Season-A Poem

Jealous of a Season

It is strange when you are jealous

Of a Season. How can you be?
Does it really take things away
From you? You never think
about it this way but it's true.

Think about Fall. It takes people
Away from us to go hunting. They
Are gone every weekend. They are
Out with their guy friends. Their
Love is going towards the deer.
That's the only think on their mind.

It is their other love and passion.
Yet it's hard to be mad at them
Because at the same time, they
Are providing for you. It could be
A lot worse. You can't show them
That you are jealous. You just
Have to love them for who they
Are and all of their flaws.

The jealous feeling comes and
Goes too. It's always hard at the
Start of the season but by the
End you will get use to it again.
You will be thankful for the
Days you have alone. That is
Why it's called, "jealous of a
Season".

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: November 22, 2017

A Relationship Prayer

Dear Daddy,

          You have us both on roundabouts. Those are the journeys You care about and so should we. We both have a story of our own to finish before we are promised to each other if it's Your Will for our lives. It's along one for sure. I just wanted to pray for my future husband's need of You to grow stronger everyday and because of that need that he will become more intimate with You. I don't want him to go apart from You. I want him to draw closer to You and live a full and satisfying life with You. We are both learning of the story. The pictures of life are always unfolding. Sometimes the things we love the most aren't part of the puzzle that we need to be living in that moment. Maybe there are other things we need to start paying more attention too? Maybe there are things that we need to fix because we messed it up in the past? Maybe we need to get off that roundabout or actually let that puzzle piece fit together like it is suppose?

             
                                                       
                                                                                                                           In Jesus' name,

                                                                                                                                 Amen

The View Underneath Heaven

The View Underneath Heaven 

Sometimes I wonder why the world
would look like in Heaven. I wonder
what God sees when He looks down.
I wonder what the people passed on
before us sees when they look down.
I wonder what the view is like
underneath Heaven.

Is the world in a mess and just looks
like a big, messy blob? Does everything
in it look broken and disordered? Does
it look like everyone is going every which
way? That's how it looks like if you are
actually living on it.

Or does it look this way? Does it look like a
masterpiece of art like a painting? Is everything
in it fixed and together? Is every one following
the same path? That's what we want it to look
like in our own way.

There is One Way that can look as white and
pure as snow. It's not our way at all. It has already
been done too so really this is what it looks like
especially to God. It looks like His own Son
getting busied and beaten.It looks like His Son get
mocked. Looked like His Son was all alone in the
dark.

It looked like His Own Son being sacrificed
on a cross for our sins. But that wasn't the end
at all. It looked like His Son rising from the grave.
It looked like Hope again. That's what the view
underneath Heaven looks like.


Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: November 20th, 2017

Medicine is Not the Source

            "We use signs of life to measure health." 

"Jesus Christ is the Source of Life and not just any life but enteral life."


            This was last Saturday night's sermon but I thought it really fit me. I needed to hear it over and over. Even though I am not on anxiety meds. anymore because I had this feeling that things weren't going my way and that I was to dependent on them, this message really hit home for me. It is crazy how the people of today think. They think that meds., diets, oils, and other things is all they need to get and stay healthy. While that might be true for our bodies, let's not get the two confused. I think I got the two confused. Yes, my body needs to be taken care of but not the way I thought it did. I was anxious and worried because my spiritual life wasn't with God's plans.
           During the last months before I stopped the meds. on my own, I was not myself at all and to be honest if you asked me what happened before July of this year of this year, I couldn't tell you. I blame the meds. for that. I think they messed me up more then helped me or the kind I was taking at least and I stopped completely because I was going through so many kinds in what seemed like every 6 months. It is true we do use a lot of signs for our body's health. whether it is blood pressure, weight, feelings, and so on. Don't get me wrong I know God made our bodies to tell us when things are wrong but my thing is then why are we trying to fix it with just meds.
             I am all for the organic and natural ways of making your body healthy because we are using what God has given us in that way. When you show that you have signs of life, it is dinfantly not the same as having life. Trust me I have been down that road and I hate it. My anxiety meds. kept me alive in a sense that I was moving and talking every day but not in a good way. I wasn't living my life like God intended me to live it. It is like those meds. only made me live on the inside and care about me and not what was outside and around me. I made people care about me. I didn't care about other people. I am much more aware of how other people feel know then I was when I was on the meds. and I love that because I can make a difference for God that way.
             Really the last meds. I was on kept me from having and living a life. I was so depressed and worried about things that I couldn't have fun. It is strange because during the sermon too and I know I already wrote this quote somewhere but it is just as important here too, my pastor said, "Mind and heart works together to trust and believe". To me, a person that has been on anxiety meds. know that is truer then probably anyone else in the world. You get more anxious and depressed on those meds. because your mind is getting "fixed" but your heart isn't. They are out of rhythm when you are taking the meds. or they were for me. I was fighting within myself but kept it hidden really good that nobody saw but it made me so sleepy.
              We can use all the signs for and of life that we want but we can't forget about our spiritual well being. That is just as important as our physical bodies. We can't take something that will mess that up. When my pastor said, "Jesus is the Source of Life", that made me happy and made me think through all of this. No wonder I feel better now then I did in the past and no wonder that I am moving on in life instead of hanging back. There are only 2 signs for our spiritual life and to keep in check to see if Jesus is our Source and here they are:

-We have Love for God and others. Not just ourselves.
-We obey God's commands. Not our feelings.
 
               There is a verse that I love and think that explains signs of life perfectly and it is 1 John 5:3-4.

"3 In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

              God's commands are meant to give us joy. They are not meant to burden us. We should do them with Love in our hearts. I know that sounds cheesy but that is the best way I can put it for now. When we do His Commands, not only should they give us joy but they do because we have victory over the world. God has given us that victory already and we should hold onto that. 

A Missed Opportunity

            I know this past week God has been reminding me of one thing that I am thankful for and that is a missed opportunity that I could of had but didn't and He showed me the reason. He showed me that His Plans were better then mine. This past week was the week that I could have gone on another mission trip to Honduras with my church but God had other plans for me instead of that. God answered my long time prayers of getting another full time job. Yet I'm still waiting to start it and for it to be finalized, it is an answer to prayer.
           This might be a short entry but it is one that will be filled with hope and inspiration or that is what I am hoping for at least. If I did go on that trip to Honduras, then I wouldn't have been able to have an interview and get the job that I have now. I would still be stress about making enough money and my life choices. The interview was this past Tuesday and they called Weds., if I remember right, and offered me the job. Everything happened so fast but it was prefect and is prefect. If I went on the trip, I would still be holding onto that part time job I have now and would be for a longer period of time. I know I probably can't make it sound amazing as it is but it was pretty amazing.
          This new job is like the job I have been working towards all my life. It has the same ratio of children that the college daycare did. It is a 1 to 8 ratio so it is a lot less children then I have had in the past 8 years. The position is a infant/toddler lead teacher position. It pays a lot more then I have ever been paid in childcare. It is hooked on with the school in Bentonville so that means it is also a contracted job so I get all vacations off but the summer one. We work during the summer. It is mainly for the high school students' children but some of the teachers' children go there too. We get to help the students with their children when needed. We have programs for them when they ask. It is also volunteer work for the students like they can come in and help us with the children for credit.
            It is a place where I am hoping to make a difference. It has all my daycare jobs plus my children's shelter job and teaching jobs all in one. It is like what I have been working towards all these 8 years plus a dream come true for me. It is strange but I might stay here for a longer while. Maybe even past 4 years? All this to say that God took a missed opportunity for me and turned it into something more meaningful and fit for my life. There are people around here that I can touch. I don't need to go all the way to Honduras to do that. The stranger thing is that I feel like AR is becoming more of a home for me. I put a lot on this job when I said, "Yes" and I knew that but I think I will be okay.
             I mean my next dream to reach is to get married and have a family and right now I am nowhere near that. Maybe I can start to focus on that now since I got a full time job that I love and can handle for a few years. But then again, I can't decide what happens when and this here should remind me of that. I have been through a lot and missed a lot of things because I was so caught up in my lifetime job search. Like some people, would say I have given up a lot to get to this place that I am know like a lot of missed opportunities. It could be with trips, health, other jobs, family time, buying things I want and so on and so forth. I am thankful that God knew what He was doing though and kept me in the states for this one thing.
               Whatever it might be an unanswered prayer, which I have gotten millions of, or a missed opportunity, a sacrifice, whatever you want to call it: "It is worth giving up when you are really following God's Lead on His Path that He has for you and your life." I will say this too that if you do have those things in your life, then keep doing it because better things are ahead. They should just keep encouraging you to go full force. See what you are doing differently to see what caused that thing to happen so you can keep doing it.
             I know for me there were times this past week that I had to look at something to remind me why I was doing what I was, why I was going for what I was going. I even had to look at the things I were fully committed to even. I mean the people that interviewed me made me do it by what they said about my job past. I spent all day thinking about why can I commit to something for so and so long but not to a job yet for that long. I am a person who will commit when she finds the things she loves to do or on. We do things sometimes just to move on with our life and hope things and people will get the clue and follow. I say that in the nicest way possible.
            The question they ask me and you could probably ask yourself this too in other situations of life: "I see you only spent 2 or less years at your other jobs, why is that? It just concerns us because we are looking for someone for the long term." Yeah, jobs might look that way but if you look into my life and the opportunities I did miss because of committing to something I love or liked. If you looked into my life and see what the things and people are the I am fully committed to right now and don't even have to be committed to some of them, then you will see what kind of person I truly am.

Choosing What is Right

                   "It is that moment that you chose not to be real(Love)that you will be like all the others and you worked too hard and gave up too much to be like the others. It is that moment that you remember it is all for Jesus." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's all about You, Jesus."-Heart of Worship

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 John 5:3-4New International Version (NIV)

3 In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                This saying is something that I came up with while trying to encourage a friend of mine this pat week. My friend was having a hard time sharing a "mistake" that was made while out in the woods. Let's just say my friend missed a deer. My friend didn't know whether to tell the story about how it was missed or not but my friend went ahead and shared it in hopes that someone else needed to hear it too. My friend was unsure, just for that moment, if he wanted to be real and that is where I came up with this saying. 
             It is true about my friend. When you have given up so much, why not keep being real, right? If it has worked so far then why stop now. My friend hasn't missed a shot in quite awhile so it is understandable to be upset. When you don't want to be like the other people around you, then you have to be real because you know that the other people aren't being that. That's not what the world is known for today. 
             I added the word "Love" in and the last sentence in this entry because it just made more since and it was deeper then I wanted to be with my friend but it is true. If you want to love, you have to learn to be real with the person you like/love and the others around you like their family. That is something that I am still working on everyday and it is an everyday process for sure. Loving people is what God wants us to do. Love, I thought, was always a kind of ministry that we could show off everyday. I mean what better way for people to know that we are God's children by us showing love to them.  I will say too that my friend's show is God-based because my friend is a firm believer in Him and my friend will even say that it is all done for God and no one else. That is how we should live everyday life. We should live it as all for and about God and no one else.
           I put the verse in this entry because I love it. I love where it says that we can overcome. That His commands shouldn't be burdensome. In fact, His commands should makes us joyful if we do it out of Love for Him and others. It is not burdensome to obey His commands. It might be hard at times. Yes, but not burdensome. It should bring us joy that He even trusts and believes and loves us enough to give us those commands. If God doesn't mean for His commands to be burdensome, then He wants us to have joy everyday. It should bring us pleasure and happiness and joy to obey His commands and to have the kind of faith we have in Him.
           Yes, it can be hard at times to live out His commands and of Love but then we look back to see what God has done for us and that is when the joy comes and overwhelms us. We can have joy because we know who holds everything in our lives if we put our lives in Him. It is just like the saying above but I think this is a simpler and straighter way to put it:

"You have worked too hard to throw everything away in this one moment that you don't feel like being real, so why not look at it with joy in some way and share it with your friends or wait. No matter what happens, always remember that you chose that path so don't go blaming someone else or even God."
               

If You Forget to Clean Your Gun

              The title might sound crazy and that it isn't coming from me at all but there are times where ideas for these entries come from other people and other situations in life. I learn from other people and those people are encourages me with or without knowing it at times. You also might think that this entry is messed up because of the comparison I am going to be making but again it will make sense just in a strange way.
               Forgetting to clean your gun at times can be compared to forgetting to clean out or guard your heart or even checking it at times. There are signs for both and to do both things right and get a good outcome. For the gun, you want to be able to shoot what you are aiming at and hit it. For the heart, you want to be able to love and do it well to the people around you. If you forget to do something as little as clean the gun or put the bullets in, then it won't work right. Even if you do those things, it can still be block by the simplest of things. You might think you don't need to clean the inside overtime before you shoot or you can shoot so many times then you can clean it. That isn't true. I don't know much or if anything at all about guns. I am not there yet.
                But I do know a little something about love and God. Hear me out on this. You have to do little things to make the gun work, right? Same with Love, there are signs you need in your life and other people need to see in your life to know that you Love God with all your heart. I have 3 of those signs from the sermon last night. I will tell you I tried to wrap my mind around it while I was at church but I just couldn't without writing it down like I am now. Those 3 things you need are:

-Love for God and others.
-Obeying God's Commandments.
-Knowing that God has overcame the world. 

               The verses that were used were: 1 John 5:1-13. That chapter tells us how to clean our lives and live it our of Love. One of the many chapters and books that are in the Bible. Yet at the same time, we could have the signs of life in us but that doesn't mean we are alive. Just like it means the gun could look great on the outside, all nice and shiny, yet it is dirty on the inside as well. We can still be living but living as the world and not how God wants us to live in Love.

"It is possible for something to be alive and temporally not show any signs of life."

            Just like we are to the gun, we are the source that that gun needs to have to work. We need to be there to pull the trigger. God is our Source of Life. Enteral Life only comes from Jesus and nothing else. We might try to find other ways and things to be the source but if we know better, we always turn back To Jesus. This next saying really gets me because it makes me see how to grow and pursue deeper relationships and friendships.

"The mind and heart works together to trust and believe."

            If you don't keep those two things clean, then it is hard to trust or believe anyone around you. It is even hard to trust yourself. I have been there. I have doubted myself about what I have said or even done but I am getting better at it. I know now that both my heart and mind have to agree with each other. While I didn't understand what was going on until last night, it all makes sense on how I look at things and relationships. When both things agree, it does make it easier and gives you more peace about it. I'm not a hunter but I know during the hunts that those two things have to work together along with the gun to know when to pull the trigger. It is the same feeling. That same happy and rush feelings. Those feelings of you can't lose and when you make it, you are just overwhelmed. When you don't make it, you just feel like everything has been lost and it is your fault.
               You have to figure out right away what you did wrong. You look at you when very well it could have been the other person just wasn't ready or there was something wrong with the gun like not clean enough. I could do 3 page entry on this topic but I think I will stop this one here and type up another one. The point I want to get across in this entry is this:

"Be real with what you have, especially when you have given up so much, because you never know when it will touch someone's else life."

Verses I Want to Share

Daniel 2:20-23New International Version (NIV)

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
    wisdom and power are his.
21 He changes times and seasons;
    he deposes kings and raises up others.
He gives wisdom to the wise
    and knowledge to the discerning.
22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
    he knows what lies in darkness,
    and light dwells with him.
23 I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors:
    You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you,
    you have made known to us the dream of the king.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Psalm 119:130New International Version (NIV)

130 The unfolding of your words gives light;
    it gives understanding to the simple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth 3:18New International Version (NIV)

18 Then Naomi said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaiah 58:8New International Version (NIV)

8. Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

    and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John 6:35New International Version (NIV)

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Timothy 3:16-17New International Version (NIV)

16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Peter 4:10New International Version (NIV)

10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithfulstewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God is Love

1 John 4:7-21The Message (MSG)

God Is Love

7-10 My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

11-12 My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

13-16 This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.

To Love, to Be Loved

17-18 God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

19 We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

20-21 If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 This chapter is God's Love and how we should show it to others. These verses are from "The Message". As I was listening to these verses last night at church and writing them down in a notebook earlier today, I was thinking about how these verses would make good wedding verses and/or sermon. The whole book of 1 John would be good for a wedding because it is all about Love. 
             The verses were all about how our relationship with God should be of intimate Love. So intimate that when we love people they see more of God then they see of us. They show us what Real Love looks like. Real Love is all about the sacrifices that we make in our lives. I mean God gave up His only Son to save us from our sins. Isn't that Love? I also like where it says in the NIV version that God is Love. He is also Life and the Light. That means that we can never really know what Love is because it is vast beyond our measures just like God is and that when we love we are full of life. If we don't love, then we aren't full of life. We are just random people walking the streets. 
              We are God's "Beloved". He even says so in the Bible. We must abide in Him and Him in us when we do love each other. When we believe that we are His Beloved then that helps us abide in Him and then we can live out that Love to other people around us. We don't have to fear anything when we have the Love of God in us. Plus we can have confidence on the day of judgement and any other time because we know God loves us. Having that confidence is a big one for me because when I am reminded that I am His Beloved that also reminds that I can do anything with Him by my side. 
              It reminds me that God won't let me down because He loves me enough to help me. It gives me confidence just to live life most days. It should give me and the rest of you the confidence to share the Goof News but I know that I am still working on that one. There is this saying at the end of the sermon last night that the preacher wanted us to write down so here it is:

"Those who Love God abide in Him. Those who abide in Him Loves well."

           We can't love totally until we are disciples of Love, which means: 

-Total Sanctification 
-Complete Love
-Complete Obedience
-Total Surrender.

           Yes, I will admit I used the notes I took from the sermon last night but most of them were in my words up til the quote and past that. :)

Different Prayers

               It is hard trying to decide what entry I want to write in each weekend but this one has been on my mind and I don't think I have wrote one like this before. I was thinking that I have but I just think I was going to and never did. I feel like God keeps bring this idea back to me so I am finally going to write about it and if I already did then it is just twice as important and that is what God is showing me. Have you ever been praying something for years or months and God told you to change how you were praying? Have you ever prayed something and thought it wasn't working so you changed it but then changed back because you wanted something more? Well, I have and it has changed a lot of things.
                I know I was actually going to do a entry that was called "Praying and Believing" but I deleted it awhile back because I thought I was done with those thoughts but I feel like God has been bring them back to me. I don't want to say much on here because it is mostly personal but I want to get the idea across of how God can change the things or people we care about most and that how we pray for them does matter. I start writing about college and how I prayed during that time of my life. I am a prayer writer big time. During college, I would pray a lot about my life but there were times that I would write a sentence or two about people that I really cared about. It mainly was about keeping them safe or helping them through something.
                But then I got this idea about keeping a prayer journal just for them and their career so I started to do that. The prayers were more about the career then about the person, which was okay at the time but here lately God has been leading me back to praying for the person. It seemed like I was seeing the career more then the person and God wanted me to see the person for the person. Now I am back to praying for that person. It is strange how you can see change when you change prayers like that. I mean God really does focus your attention on what really matters and what you are praying for. I was so into the career that I would try to help and watch everything that was made and so on when I was praying for the career. Now that I am personally praying for just the person, it is different.
                 It just seems more like I am interested in the person as a person and I could care less about the career. To me, being an outsider in all of this, it seems like the person is changing too like prayers are being answered. Not only is that person being changed or seems like it but it also seems like I am being changed because I want to keep up or because I need to keep up. I am not meaning to but it just seems like God knows what I need and He gives that to me. I think God gives me the lessons He does because He wants me to understand and "keep up" with the person that I am praying for. Isn't it true that you can pray better for a person when you know what that person is going through or has been through? When that person is really busy, you don't know what they are going through unless God shows you through Him, right?
                 All of this to say that I am not trying to second guess or be over God. I am saying this to say that God does answer prayers when we believe and trust that He will. God will change people on both ends. That is how people come together, isn't it? I don't need anything but God to help me understand life because nothing else works like God does. When you try other things, they could just make life worse and make you mess up things especially things that you care about. I know when I was on meds. for my anxiety, that is when I prayed for the career and not the person. I don't know if that says anything or not but I did notice that change. Since I started praying for the person, I have noticed myself running to prayer a lot more then to people or even to that person for advice. I turn to God when things start to get confusing or I start feeling a certain way.
               I can share anything with God and that be okay. I will never regret saying things to God that I might regret saying to a person later on in life. Praying for certain things and people can be scary and make us anxious at times but we have to realize that it is for the good. Praying is a way to get close spiritually and some of us might be scared of that but it is needed at times. I don't regret praying for the career and I never will regret it. I mean I still pray for it sometimes but more then often I pray for the person in charge of it because I know it is needed more. I will admit too that I pray for things that the person would never think to pray for because I am looking from an outsider's view with other feelings too.
               It does matter how you pray and what you pray for because God will answer them. He might just answer some of them to show you and ask you, "Is this what you really want or do you what it another way?" I know for me that is what He did and that is why I am now praying for the person a lot more then the career. There is a balance between the two.