Feeling Helpless

           When I say "feeling helpless" I mean towards people in difficult situations. I've honestly remember one other time that I felt that helpless and it was back in college. I had excuses back then though, This moment and situation I don't and shouldn't have any excuses. That is what is tearing me apart on the inside right now.
           In college, the excuses were ones like I don't know any but 2 of them, I don't know that person, and I won't see them after college. Well, God's laughing at me right now this week. He does have a sense of humor. I shouldn't have any excuses now I am scared in a way and making some up. They're not really excuses but more what ifs. Either way, I am still doubting myself. Think I feel helpless when I only knew 2 of them? Can you guess how helpless I feel now? So, so, so much. I can't even describe it on here. No words for it. Each person/family has their own story of how they got to know me or met me.
           I know there are little things I can do but it just doesn't seem like enough to me at times. Things like praying, helping out with events being there for the children, and/or asking how things are. I don't feel like praying is enough because I did that when there were 2 people. My heart says to do more. I also asked how things were and how the people were doing even the ones I knew personally. In a way though, I guess I am doing a little bit more. I am hugging and caring for the children. I am helping with an event.
            I knew the person before the situation happened. I mean I know more then two people so shouldn't I be able to do more and I met the children first in this situation. Shouldn't it be easier for me because of that? The more people I know equals more chances and opportunities, right? Yet in a way I think God is giving me peace because for the most part I've been quite yet doing what I love actually doing to things I love. Life can't get any better then that. All this puts me in between a hard situation and a rock. I want to do so much but yet I feel helpless. Should I take the risk and go forwards or should I stay where I am at for right now?
           I am not the type of person that can feel helpless for very long especially if the situations have to do with any of my friends or even people that I know. I am the kind of person that really cares and not just cares but cares deeply. I take everything to heart especially when I don't feel like I am helping or if I said something at the wrong time or with the wrong wording. I don't myself a lot because I care too much. I never want to feel helpless and if I think about it I never think I have until that one time in college and now. There was a few other times when I was giving up my "missions" life but I got over that pretty fast. This helplessness is expanding so many people but I don't even know where to start and end it.
           I could help out in so many ways but yet I could get in trouble in so many ways. It just depends on the people that I am around at that moment in time. It all comes back to the timing of things and what God wants me to do. I try to remember every time but it is hard especially when you have been there before and you want to be there again for people. Right now, I am just trying to listen to God and see where He wants me to help out in the situation. I might need to help one family but not really talk to the other one or I might need to talk to both. Who knows?  This does go back to what we talked about last Sunday, though, in church. You just have to keep living and loving. Seeds will be planted somewhere and somehow but we might never know it.