"....To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes...."-Isaiah 61:3
"The King is Captivated by Your Beauty."-Psalm 45:11
The title was the name of a conference I went to a almost 3 weeks ago now. The conference was amazing! That is the wrong word because really there are no words to explain it. I could write about my year to it, which I might but still wouldn't descibe it. I could write about what happened but yet it wouldn't be enough words to describe it. Isaiah 61:3 says a lot but still very little. I did feel like I traded my ashes for a crown of beauty. Laying problems and idols and hang ups down at the foot of the cross in a glass jar. Then watching all of those papers burn is really something very strong.
I loved watching the papers burning the night in a pot/bowl thing and all those ashes turning black and going up in the sky. It was a physical action that meant a lot. We were also singing "How Great Thou Art". That song now has a new meaning for me because of that moment. It was like I went to bed that night just free and with all my burdens lifted off of me and I woke up the next morning as a whole new creation. It is hard to explain that feeling like I said before but in that moment you just knew something was taken away from you and changed for good. I know for me I also prayed a lot during the day about the problems I was dealing with. I probably said about 3 prayers or more that day. If I didn't say them, other people said them for me.
I will say that the phases, "If you can't stand or when life gets hard, kneel." And "Open mind, open heart," are some good ones for it. At least, that's how I felt. I did have to have an open mind and heart and kneel down before the Lord. I did go up front and have someone pray over me because I gave something up that was really important to me up or I should say let go. I don't ever want to give up but I do need to let go and let God. There is another good phase for it. I need to care enough to let go and let God have control of it and whatever happens, happens but I never what to give up and stop.
You know, "give up" and "let go", have different meanings and I think that is something I learned at this conference. I learned how to "let go" without totally "giving up". Yet, I am still in the process because it is a process. "Let go" means still caring but not having control or holding on too tight. "Giving up" means not even caring for the thing or person. Means you don't care what they do or about them anymore. That they are in the back view of your life. For me, "letting go" means you still what them as part of your life just not as much or not until they are ready.
Psalm 45:11 is how the Lord sees me. It is also how the Lord made me and He doesn't make mistakes. The Lord sees me as captivating. He sees me as beautiful. He sees me as His Princess. That is why a crown is put of my head. He sees me has His Daughter and loves me that way too. He doesn't want me to get hurt. He doesn't want me to live in sin. He doesn't want me to regret my life at all. Those things would be all that I do if I didn't turn it over to the Lord. I might make mistakes at times but those mistakes are covered with the blood of Jesus Christ so all God sees is pure white, beautiful me. After, this conference I am whiter then ever, I feel like. That's a strange way to put it but it is true.
I will say that the phases, "If you can't stand or when life gets hard, kneel." And "Open mind, open heart," are some good ones for it. At least, that's how I felt. I did have to have an open mind and heart and kneel down before the Lord. I did go up front and have someone pray over me because I gave something up that was really important to me up or I should say let go. I don't ever want to give up but I do need to let go and let God. There is another good phase for it. I need to care enough to let go and let God have control of it and whatever happens, happens but I never what to give up and stop.
You know, "give up" and "let go", have different meanings and I think that is something I learned at this conference. I learned how to "let go" without totally "giving up". Yet, I am still in the process because it is a process. "Let go" means still caring but not having control or holding on too tight. "Giving up" means not even caring for the thing or person. Means you don't care what they do or about them anymore. That they are in the back view of your life. For me, "letting go" means you still what them as part of your life just not as much or not until they are ready.
Psalm 45:11 is how the Lord sees me. It is also how the Lord made me and He doesn't make mistakes. The Lord sees me as captivating. He sees me as beautiful. He sees me as His Princess. That is why a crown is put of my head. He sees me has His Daughter and loves me that way too. He doesn't want me to get hurt. He doesn't want me to live in sin. He doesn't want me to regret my life at all. Those things would be all that I do if I didn't turn it over to the Lord. I might make mistakes at times but those mistakes are covered with the blood of Jesus Christ so all God sees is pure white, beautiful me. After, this conference I am whiter then ever, I feel like. That's a strange way to put it but it is true.
I can't make this a long entry because I just can't find the words to really explain what I really felt and I can't really tell the public what I gave up because now it is just between me, a few ladies, and God. I will say, though, that my eyes were opened up a lot more and so was my mind to where I could see the little blessings all around me from God. I got a confirmation on the way home that Sunday and I was amazed at it. God knew just what I needed and how I was and knew that I was going home and needed that prayer and strength that He had a friend of mine pray for me about. Yet all this to say, "That God will prepare you for what He knows you need later in life." That is what He was doing to me along.
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