Feeling like a Mom

         I have my own children or I dinfantly want some after Friday night. I swear bath time and bedtime are my favorite times with the children at my job. God has been using me there and I love it. I'm really thinking He is trying to get me to stay in the states and in AR for awhile longer. I'll write more about that later in another entry. Right now, I want to write about Friday night and how I put my little girl to bed. It was such a great feeling and I want to say that I know how a mom feels like putting her little ones to bed but I know I will never get that experience really until I have my own.
          Thursday night as you all know I started to pray with some of my little girls before bed and for the life of me I couldn't think about what to pray with them because my prayer as a little girl would be different because I had things to be thankful for like a family and other things so I thought I really had to think about what to pray with them. I finally just has this one little girl, I was teaching her to pray, say thank you for my friends, teachers, food, bed and so on. The other little girl wanted to do it by herself so I let her.  This praying "talk" got started because one of the little girls freely said that she prayed and the other little girl wanted to know how so I'm showing her. First it is the Bible that she wanted me to read. Now it is prayer. I was so mad at myself because I felt like I didn't show her what prayer could be like Thursday night but Friday morning I called my mom and she gave me some ideas. She said that I could use "The Lord's Prayer" as one or pray about things that is where she is and what is bothering her because I know she seems like she is searching for something.
              Friday night was a big night personal for me because I brought her, her first Bible and gave it to her Friday night. I was going to read "The Lord's Prayer" from it as her first story but that Bible didn't have it in it so I read the story about Jesus dieing on the cross and that is hopefully what she will remember the 1st story being from her 1st Bible. After that Bible story, we citied "The Lord's Prayer" together, I said it and then she said it after me. After she was asleep and I was home I thought that I need to know it in children's form if I'm going to be doing this, not in King James Version like I learned it. With the words like: hallowed, thy, debts, and debtors, she had no idea what I was talking about and she would ask too or just laugh about it and we would go on.
                 On the way home, I was thinking and I've done it for my nephews and nieces before but I was thinking I want to take her home with me. I want to have those sweet moments every night. That is how I'm going to raise my children if God willing. Then it got me to thinking about whether I would have my own children in the big church of children's church. I have a person that I know that has her two little daughters sit in on big church and I never thought anything about it until Friday night. They have the whole family together as one and two they would never learn how to sit in big church if they don't start out young as babies. I admire this family because they are that close as a family that everyone would attend church even the little ones if they can.
                  Strange how God makes you think about things sometimes. Even though, my own children are far in the future for me, He is given me a taste of what it might be like or what I should have it like when and if the time comes for me. God is giving me these different chances to see how I want to raise my children and what it could be like. I think He is also giving me the idea that I might what to stay around and have my own little ministry with my own children and/or start to foster. People do both. It's strange too because I found out just this weekend that my parents even thought and talked about fostering children before they had the 6 of us. It must be something in my blood and something I'm use to and yet my mom turned out to be a teacher still caring for children of all sorts because you never know what kind you have in a classroom.
                  My life and adventure is just getting started on who I really am and am all about. I'm unique and I'm not saying that to brag but saying it to say we are all in some way and this is my way. How many people would love to do what I'm doing or could do what I am doing? People tell me that all the time but I just shove it off and say it is something I grew up with it is nothing big but for me it is something big. It isn't just a job to make money for me, it is my ministry and I grew up doing it all my life without knowing it in ways and wanting to do it. It is my dream and it will stay my dream until it comes true. It is just beginning to come true and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me or how He wants it done. All of this from 2 nights and a show called "The Huntin' Grounds" and watching that dream come true for the host/founder, himself, while he trusted God with it all. He took that leap of faith and now I need to so I can see mine come true too.