Dreams and Secrets

Inspired by: A Teenage Girl that I talked to this week.

      I've been thinking a lot about my dreams again and who I truly am and who I want to know the real me. Sometimes we have to be careful to who we tell our secrets to. This blog is not a good example but it is helping me get my thoughts out. I have a farm that I grew up on my first 4 years of life so I call my home and it is really my 2nd home. No one really knows all the story behind it or why I went there and it is still a secret and will be because that story is something meaningful to me and I want to share it with people who I know will stick around. I also got to thinking though one of the adults is not doing too well. He is getting sick and has been getting worse the last 2 times I have been down there over 6 months. I always like going back because I hear stories of my life as a child and it just feels like home and peaceful. She was the one that taught me how to sew, some manners, starting me liking bears, and much more. I am the way I am because of them today.
        I feel like one person could really understand what I feel there and why. I feel like only one person could get the reason of why I would like to live out in the country while living the simple life as a stay at home mom. I was driving back from their house out in the country and I was just thinking, I could do so much out here. My own children's shelter or camp. Has we were talking, I was thinking about a friend and how much my friend would get along with them both even the lady. They would both of the same thoughts on nature, traditions, family, and everything else. They could talk about the farm all day. It is a hard feeling to put into words in a blog.
         It is the place I grew up and no one really will understand me until I tell them or really can show them that place and right now there is only one person I want to do that too. I also don't want to show many friends that place and introduce them to the people because the people aren't scared to share my baby stories with anyone. They are very outspoken so they will say anything. I also got to thinking today while there about my friend and my farm friends' love for animals whether it is dogs and cats to cows and chicken and deer. I know the farm friends are who got me to love God's Creation because we use to take a walk in the woods every evening and I would help gather the eggs.
          They taught me the important things in life and it stuck with me. People say that the first 5 years of a child's life is the most important because that is when they learn the most. During my first 5 years, I learned life lessons kids these days don't get plus some schooling before I started Kindergarden. I was taught how to have character, care, compassion and be polite to people. That is what living on a farm can do to you and I know how to keep myself busy because I was outside most of the time and my farm friends didn't have TV or cell phones and they still don't.
            A dream of mine and I will say it on here because those who know me can probably already guess. I want to be a stay at home mom and have that old lifestyle. The lifestyle that meant everything to me. That is the way my dating life is too. I don't want to just go out on causal dates with just any guy from a dating service or another town. That's not me. I want that one that has been a friend to me before we start to "date" and that I know God has for me. I don't even want to call it dating. I want to be friends and go on group dates until the right guy is ready to prove himself and ready to get serious. I know what I want already just by my guyfriends and the different ones I've had in my life. I believe that God will show me too in His Timing. It sounds sappy but that's how I was raised. I was raised in a different world and been in one ever since then. I just didn't see it til it is almost gone from me and is slipping away but isn't that when we see everything that is most important to us.
              Like I said, I know this might be a little too much information for a blog, but I hope girls younger then me read this and see there are girls (woman) out there that still believe the "old" way of dating. That they believe that God has someone for them and if not then God will use them just as they are in a more important way then they ever thought could happen. We all have dreams and we can dream them but we have to be happy where we are first so God can bring more things into our lives. We have to see that God is the #1 and not some guy. God will put things into place as it should be.
               This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Causal dating and being by myself and here is my answer to myself written out. I've made my choice. I have hobbies and a job to do until the one comes along if he ever does and if not then I have a dream to go after and I can start going after it right now even without him. I hope this makes somewhat of sense. Please if anyone has questions ask me. I won't be scared to answer any. I don't want to make the wrong impression towards or for anyone. If it is hard to understand please ask me.