Simple Life But Confusing Prayers

       Something just come to my mind when I was in my small church group last night. We were talking about prayer and being delivery agents for God and it has really made me think. I think what made me think was we can pray wherever we are to be a delivery agent just by a short, simple prayer and be willing for God to use us in the way He has Planned for us. He will bring the people to match us and that needs what we are learning and what He is teaching us too. Then I got to thinking about how I live my life and the kind of life I like compared to my prayer life. I live a simple life yet I have long and confusing prayers.
         By living the simple life I mean I don't need to stay up to date with clothes or anything like that. I would love to live the simple, country life when I get married or someday by myself. I don't mind a small house/apartment. I don't need anything big or fancy. I would rather give my money to help people that need help. I think my life is so simple though because my prayer life is so long and confusing. I spend more time thinking about things then I should and asking God for things that I want most of the time and not what He wants or is able to do through me.
         By having a long and confusing prayer life, I mean I will write a 4 sometimes 5 page prayer at time telling God what I am thinking, what I want in the future or now, what is going on and what I want to happen, or even sometimes telling him what is wrong and how it would be nice if He fixed it this way or that. That's not my job at all. God already has my Future planned out, I just need to be willing and open to follow Him with it. I can tell you know that it is not looking the easiest but that is why God is in it and needs to be in it. I want God to use me the best He knows how and for the real reason He put me here on this earth. I want to change lives and for those of you who have known me forever or just a few years you know I've always wanted that. I do have a heart for God's people.
         There was a saying last night that got to me and it was, "We can see a little bit of enertity now if we let God use us in the way He wants to here on earth. How neat would it be for me to see enertity in the eyes of children? See their lives change for the better because of me? We can't just sit around and let God do the work for us. He wants us involved thats why we need to say, "Here I am Lord, Send me." We need to be more observant in today's world. I know God has opened my eyes here where I live to how many children really needs a foster home. I knew there were abused and negetled children the world but not in my own backyard until I started the job I have now. I've always wanted to go overseas and help those children but God has opened my eyes and made me see the need here in this state.
         God has just opened my eyes so much more and made me more observant and curious to where I look into things and watch for things having to do with fost care or adopting or other things close to that. I have talked to people lately that does those things and I thought I never would. I have got to know some amazing more because of that new interest and dream of mine. People I can relate too for once and it feels great.
           I want my simple lifestyle to match my prayer life. I want my prayer life to be simple and ready to go where God would have me be no matter the situtations. I want to stop those long prayers and just be like Lord, I'm here send me espially in the mornings and throughout my day. I need to learn to just pray that throughout my day whether on the drive to or from work, at work, or in the store shopping. Wherever it might be, I want God to use me. Simple and Short. Maybe I won't worry as much or be anxious as much if I do it that way.
              I wonder what is "a confusing life but a simple prayer life" like. That could be the kind of life I am talking about now. That could be the life I'm living now. I don't know what is next for me but I'm trusting and praying to God about it. Could changing it around make the whole difference? Maybe I don't want my prayer life to match my simple life? Maybe I want my prayer life to match my confusing life? Hopefully, tommrow I will start putting steps up on here about my future dream and where I think God is leading me to. I have 6 steps but only 4 planned out so far. Hope this makes sense I had to write fast because I need to leave for work.