Seeing Things in a Different Light

      I can already tell 2014 is going to be a life changing year for me. I'm having the most relaxing time this week then I have in a long time not worrying about anything but yet I'm out trying to shoot a bow and arrow, shopping, cooking, sewing, and just being me out in the country. I wrote a testimony too about how a friend's TV show as changed my life and really I can't describe it in words. I've been thinking about and talking to my little brother that hunts and shoots and just seeing how much arrows costs gets to me. If you make a living out of hunting it does cost a lot of money.
       It is a whole new way of life and strangely enough I like it. There are no words for a lot of my life right now and might not be for awhile. I'm still trying to firgure out where I belong in AR and what my boundaries should be. I don't have a settled life and yet I want one in AR. My dad said I could start looking for a house instead of my apartment down there and I want that but it is a big step for me. These days have been so busy but yet I loved doing everything. I love my job but at the same time I love the people I'm around now my family.
      I guess it means a lot when you have family and friends that feel like family around you and I don't have that in AR yet. I have some but not ones that I can just call up and they would drop whatever they are doing and hang out or very few that will even see how I'm doing. I have no one near me like that. They all live at least a half a hour to a hour away. I need to set new and more boundaries because of my job times being so strange and I need to do what I love. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not and enjoy who I am. So what if I'm that country, small town girl that loves to be outdoors and maybe even hunt in a great while. I can do that by myself if I need to. I don't need to eat out or go to the movie or spend money to enjoy doing things with friends.
         I've tried for so many years to be a city girl because of the cities I have lived in but I'm nowhere near that. I might not fit in with my city friends and that is okay. My boundaries might be mostly country, simple way of living because that is who I am. I just wish I lived in the country right now and had some friends that I could go shooting with at a range and things like that. I miss it and right now I'm thinking about how much I regret not spending time with those types of people in high school because now it could get me a long way or be fun at least. I pushed too hard on most of them. I'm learning to let up a lot espically these past few months. When I get those boundaries set, my life is going to change I hope for the better and show who I really am.
           I also learned this week that I would settle for anything when shopping or worry about what other people think like if I got home late and so on. I would let my mom pick out my clothes and if I had it with shopping I would just settle with those clothes. That is not good for me either. I don't want to just settle in life with anything or worry about anything. I want to work for what I want. I might have to work years for it and even wait for it but in the end it would be worth it and even more speical. Three things I'm not going to do in 2014: not going to settle for anything less then I want, not going to be a city girl, and worry. Three things I am going to do in 2014: work hard for what I want and/or wait for it, trust God, and be a country girl while learning to do new things like shoot a bow and arrow and a hunting gun. As they say in AR, I'm going to learn how to become a true AR girl. :)