Every Little Detail - Fear=Gratefulness

          I feel like God has been teaching me something important these past few weeks. I was talking to a friend of mine because I have been so overwhelmed with fear and been scared about a lot of things going on in my life right now. I can't even put my finger on it yet because everything is fine but at the same time God is working and when He is working things don't stay the same. I've also noticed the little details of my life more and what I'm doing in those moments and trying to have them focused on God too. He even cares about the little moments and that is amazing to think about because He is a really, big God.
           I tell you what is going on in my life right now and see if you can get what I'm saying about fear and the little details and gratefulness. I'm thinking of going back to college to get my Master's but I'm scared to do that. What I really want is a family. I want to be a stay at home mom and with college and a job that wants a Master's degree I won't have time for one. Going back to get my Master's, I might have to take the GRE to get in or see if I am able to go. The GRE and studying for it are examples of little details that God cares about because they lead me where He wants me to be. At the same time, I am scared that I won't pass it because I'm a bad test taker and then want will I do for my life.
          Another way to think about the little details and fear they might cause is in friendships. What if you say something wrong or not at the right time? What if you just talk on an on when really they just want you to listen? There is that fear that you messed it up or that they don't like you anymore. There is also that fear of what do they think of me now that I said it. That is why we have to be careful of the words that are coming out of our mouths and make sure they are encouraging words and not words that put people down.
         Those two things kind of goes back to the subject of fear. I am hiding behind all of this things plus my job because I'm just scared and I don't want to move forwards but at the same time I'm bored with where I am now. A friend told me that hiding in fear is what Adam and Eve did in the garden. They hid from God because they knew they did wrong after they took a bite of the apple. When we think we did or are doing something wrong, do we tried to hide or make up excuses to get away with it? We stay busy with our job or chores or just even with friends because we don't want to think about "I did it when God told me not to". It is more of a trust issue then anything.
           Adam and Eve didn't trust God when He said not to eat from the tree for you will surely die. Their commandment did not end good but if we take away that fear and trust God with everything we have our lives can turn out way better then we ever though possible. We hear people and pastor talk about having the fear of God in our lives but the fear in the garden was a different kind of fear. It was a fear that made us turn away from God. The fear of God is a good fear or trust. I might be wrong on that so check it with someone you trust but it might be close. The fear of God is like God telling you to do something and you do it because you know it will turn out good but yet at the same time you are still scared if that makes any sense at all.
            I know it seems to be really confusing but the fear in the garden is a good thing to look at because as humans we have that kind of fear everyday. We want things our own way and when we don't get it we fear it is wrong and step back into our way instead of God's way. We can be hiding behind a lot of things at the same time like I was and am. I'm hiding behind the GRE, job, family, and some friends but I don't need to. I need to trust God in all of that because there is a reason for everything He is doing right now in my life. I wouldn't be where I am if He didn't want me here.
TRUST TAKES AWAY FEAR!!!! Pray that God will give you the trust that you need to have that fear in your life taken away from you.