What is God to do with a Passionate Heart?

         I go to work and the first thing I do is, of course, wake up the children. It was like every other morning until I got to this one child to wake him up. He came to be with us yesterday afternoon. The first thought that went through my mind was, "We should not have a child like this in America." He is all skin and bones. He has a sickness that does that to him but that can't be all. Even if it is, how in the world would he get the sickness?
          He was light to pick up and carry. Dark circles under his eyes. He would eat things off the ground and he ate all of his food very slowly like he was savoring each bit to make it last longer. It really sickened me to see a child like this child. I would be okay with seeing his condition in another country because they have excuses but here in America we don't. We have everything a child needs the parents just need to help them.
          I had his sister at my job before him and she was so skinny too. Seeing him just makes me more worried for her too. How in the world can a person have two children but yet let them be so skinny and also developmentally behind.
          I got to thinking about my future and the job that I would like to live with (aka my dream) and it is hard. I will be really blessed if I do get married because I'm going to have a hard job all my life and a guy will have to put up with my soapbox every night. I like to do therapy and/or fostering of some sort. With both of those jobs, you know children come in with bad stories, not all of them but some of them. Of course, we can never get away from that now because sadly it is just the world. Even if I was to be a teacher, I would still have to deal with knowing children that didn't eat when I sent them home or home be themselves or get hit every night.
            If I even thought of that, I would not be able to send them home so there is no way I could go back to teaching now because I would see the classroom in a whole different view and hotlines would know me by name after a year or shorter. I'm seriously asking God, right now, what do you want in life from me? Do I give up my dream of a family like I did my teaching dream and care for orphans and foster children? Do I give up on looking for a spouse because there is not a guy out there that could handle me and my job (passionate heart). If there is, he is pretty special.
           To be honest, I ask myself a lot of times when I feel like I can't do anything, like in this situation, why does God give me a passionate heart? Why does God give me this child in my life for a few months or even a few days sometimes? Just to get me upset and to think about what life really is all about? To bring me closer to Him? To make me dependent on Him and not my own self righteousness? What is God going to do with this passionate heart of mine? I would like to know but whatever it will be it will really be a surprise for me and everyone else.
              I just have to give it over to God and keep doing that and He will take care of the rest. Being a worrisome person in the first place and working at a job like I do are not good things to put together but they will, for sure, make me strong. I can just pray for the best for that child now and when they move on and for me everyday because I need it to get through a day.