God has a Strange Way of Doing Things

        Go back to the past 3 years starting in Oct of the year 2012 in my life and you will get why I titled this entry what I did. To me, since then, things I have felt like I'm in the doubting stages of things and have been for awhile now. Things haven't been so great for me in the past 3 years. Yes, things have changed, good and bad, and I have changed a long with those things. I've changed only to become stronger and trusting in God more but it is still strange how God does it because these past three years have been nothing like I have planned.
        Go back the Oct. 2012, when my Grandad passed away. This month marked the 3rd anniversary of his passing. and when you think about it that is when everything starting going downhill for me. That is when I lost my first job here in AR that Dec. but I started a new one in Jan. 2013, which I thought would last longer then it did. I think I lost my first job because I was so stress and hurt by the lost of my grandad and thought that was God telling me that I needed to move on to something else. I was happy that I started the job and was really looking forwards to spending a lot of time there.
         Then came Nov. 2014, when the farmer that was a grandpa like figure to me passed away. To tell you the truth, it still hurts and will for a long while. After his passing, I could tell things started to get stir up again. I started to look for a new path or a new way of life. Trying to go away from everything I knew if I hadn't already. Things just got worse at the job that I thought I would love and be at for a long time.
         Then came July 2015 and I lost that job that I had for 2 and a half years. During all this time, I was trying to figure out how to handle myself and my anxiety about life. If that wasn't enough, after losing my job at the end of July, my last grandparent (grandma) passed away the 1st of August of this year. If that wasn't enough I had some financial things I had to take care of and worry about through all of the things going on since July. I had to fight for something that I was passionate about and lost that. I really had to get back up on my feet because after being put down like I was, I didn't think I could do another childcare job.
          I looked at a lot of retail store jobs while looking at more daycare jobs and I would take whatever came first. I felt lost and discouraged. I felt like God wasn't helping me anymore. I felt alone. I changed my anxiety meds because I thought the meds were the problem. Then I would have to say there was a day where I saw a friend's status about how my friend was a dummy. It didn't say why, it just said my friend was one. I honestly felt that same way about myself because of everything I was going through but I knew my friend needed some encouragement right then and there so I emailed my friend and reminded my friend how God was on their side and how God would help with whatever was needed.
           After I emailed to my friend, I reread it to myself and I was like, "duh!" that was right on point for me too. I was telling my friend to believe all this stuff and here I was not believing it myself about myself. I took that letter that I wrote and just prayed it to God that night. Then after a few days things started to changed and look up for me. I started to get hopeful again and thought no matter what happened God will put me where He wanted me to be. God does everything for a reason even if we don't know that reason just yet.
           The past 3 years for some reason, I have been feeling like I am in some kind of bondage but now I am feeling much freer then ever before. I know I was trying to be someone else for the people around me and things like now but now I don't care. I will live my life the way I want to and be happy with that. I feel like I'm a lot more open to be me. I might not have very many people around me or to talk to but the people that I do have around me and talk to are the people that mean the most to me. I am an introvert so we only have a few close friends and like it that way. We don't like big groups with a lot of people that we just have small talks with.
           As my recent Bible studies are called: "Breaking Free", "Breathe", and "Called to be a Keeper". It is also funny how God can put the Bible studies that you need for that moment in your life plus make the titles make sense when you put them in order or that is, at least, what He did for me to tell me something.
          God does have some strange ways of doing things but one thing we can always count on from Him is that: It will work out in the best interest for us rather we know it or not. God alway knows what is best! He has things mapped out even before we are born for us so why do we worry. He won't change it when we ask for our own way because He knows what is better for us then we do. Keep trusting Him! :)