I will only write about baptism for a month and then this will be the last entry about it. I just write about it because I don't think it is by chance that God chose the 27th of Feb. when He knew Easter was exactly a month later. He had a purpose for that and for the job I am at at this moment and time with the people I am around. It hasn't been easy this past month but I have stuck it out and trusted God with it more and more.
I think I have done a better job remembering taking it to God first then worrying about it or taking it to people first. That is really the way you should do it all. I also believe that the devil is testing me in a little way to see if I meant what I did about my baptism. In the book of Job, the devil was testing him to and he still trusted God with everything. I am not saying this to say I am better now because of baptism but I'm saying it to say that I'm always working towards the Love of God. There have been moments where I wanted to cry or wanted to say something mean back but I didn't. There were also nights that I couldn't sleep, even with my meds., because my mind was so busy but I said a prayer to God about what was bothering me even if it was late and it seemed to calm me down.
I can't say that I have wrote every prayer down in my journal every night of these past two weeks but I can say that I have prayed every night, whether long and written down or short and using my voice while laying down. I have also learned about more of what I need to learn more about being myself and just what it means to really Love people that are different or just love them no matter what. I am learning that I need the fruit of the Spirit a lot more and just what I need to be a good wife. I'm see more about how God is preparing me for life both future career and marriage.
Just seems like God has been opening my eyes more to what I need to work on with me and with the world around me right now. The lessons this month was just about having strength and being proud of how God made me to be. I have learned to ask for a lot more wisdom and courage for God and to be able to share it a lot more. It has been hard to ask for those things but I know I need them now. If I want to do anything for Him now and for all my life then I need to learn how to talk to people about Him. I just felt like I was being slammed with a lot of questions these past two weeks about who I really was and what I really stand for and I am scared that I didn't answer them or react like the way I should have.
It stressed me out more then the children did at work. I didn't feel very good about it by the end of this past week. I kept strong though and I am still wondering how I can handle it in a nice, Christian way to show them what it is really like to be a teacher and a Christ-follower but the other way around. I tried not to let it get me down and I really talked to God about it a lot and I had to remind myself good thoughts about myself and why I was in the place I am in now. They would even tease me about not having a boyfriend and they teased me because they said they would find me a boy. I just thought I really don't want one right now and I don't need anyone else's help but God's and I believe He is working on one right now.
I liked the sermon today at my parents' church because it talked about how Christ died for us and would not give up on us because He loved us that much. It was also about how the Word of God is stronger then that of Christ himself because He even used the Word to show some of the people He really was. I really liked it when the preacher said this, "the nails' holes in the hands and feet were put to show us who He really was. He could just of told us who He was and He could have made those holes gone because Jesus got a new body. His old body was deformed to where people could hardly tell who He was but yet He kept the holes for future generations. For us."
This month has just been a lot for me but at the same time I like it. I have learned a lot about who God is and who I am in Him. I am a lot happier too it seems because I know that I can turn to him and trust Him. It is just a hard feeling to explain but at the same time it is a good feeling because I know that I can be stronger and this what God is making me be. I know He isn't done with me. In fact, He is just starting with me. I, even, have thought a lot more about having my own daycare and I haven't thought about that in a year or so.
It has been an interesting month but I love it. I feel a lot more confident in myself but more importantly, in God. I know He won't let me down and I feel and know too that He has a bigger plan for my life and I need to continue to follow Him to reach it.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Building Houses
I was going to write another entry before this one but I just thought this one felt right for now because of things going on in my life and around me right now. I do have a story to tell and some of it I will admit might be made up but someday I hope it happens. It is part of my dream and heart's desires. I titled this entry "Building Houses" because that is what has been going on around me lately with everyone I know. A friend of mine got married and they built a house, my dad finish the basement downstairs in their house, a friend of mine is remodeling her house a year after her husband passed away, and last and not least a friend of mine is starting with their house and land from the ground up.
The first two that I said really doesn't matter that much to me because I have no purpose or life in those houses. I mean I did get to help my dad some on the house but I don't and never lived in it. I guess it is special because I got to spend time with my dad and he taught me more about building houses and I actually didn't mind learning this time. It would mean a lot more if it was a house he was remodeling or that I was going to live in but it's not. It is more of the memories made with my dad and he got done with it at the start of December.
The last two, you could say, mean the world to me difanantly the one that my friend is remodeling after her husband passed away because that is my farm house and always will be. I grew up there and love it still. Spent time in the (my) blue room. Time by that fireplace. Time on the floor playing. Sat at the same exact tables and chairs. Kitchen still looks the same. Not much has changed but after my friend's husband passed she changed everything and I don't blame her because it is hers now and it was getting pretty old.
She started remodeling it in January. My blue room might be changed to purple with some more decorations up in it. The big scenic wallpaper is taken down. I will always remember they had a forest looking wallpaper in their bedroom and their bed facing it. Then when you walk in the front door, there was this forest in the Fall looking wall paper. It is funny the only thing that still looks the same and probably will sense it was always hers even when her husband was alive, is her sewing room. Of course, you can't see the walls to repaint it or anything like that anyways because of all the cabinets of material and fabric she has. She loves to sew. There is a house that was built for me and that I lived it the first 4 years of my life and will always love. I started my life there. It might be remodeled but it is still a home.
Now about my other friend's house that I am following along with. My friend brought this house in July of last year and it's not only a house but land too. My friend is preparing and fixing and making all things new again in that area. My friend is planting food plots non stop, cutting down trees for good reasons, and just trying to make it more for the deer and other animals. My friend's dream is to make it into a place where people can spend time on it to hunt and play. Maybe sort of like a ranch, in a way. On that land, there was this house that was not done up at all so my friend has decided to take that project on and finish it by self. It is so hard for me not to give him suggestions unless he asks everyone for it but I have to say it is look pretty dang good if I can say so.
My friend is working on the inside and has some great ideas for it. My friend didn't start working on it til about middle to late December or early January if remember right. Then he will need to work on the outside of it. It is so pretty inside. The walls are pine wood mostly but the bathroom has some cedar wood in it. Of course, my friend is going to put antler lights up hanging from the ceiling and then deer on the wall and maybe some turkeys. It has a little cute, rock fireplace that came with it.
I know I'm not suppose to be thinking this but I am a women so please when you read this don't take it the wrong way. It is neat how my older friend is remodeling her house about the same time that my other friend is building one. It is kind of like out with the old and in with the new for me but then again I would never go out with the old because that is my house too. It is kind of another example, might be a strange one, on how God's timing is prefect in some ways. To let people know too, it is just life lesson for me personally and I am taking it like that and nothing else is coming from this. I say that with all my heart.
The first two that I said really doesn't matter that much to me because I have no purpose or life in those houses. I mean I did get to help my dad some on the house but I don't and never lived in it. I guess it is special because I got to spend time with my dad and he taught me more about building houses and I actually didn't mind learning this time. It would mean a lot more if it was a house he was remodeling or that I was going to live in but it's not. It is more of the memories made with my dad and he got done with it at the start of December.
The last two, you could say, mean the world to me difanantly the one that my friend is remodeling after her husband passed away because that is my farm house and always will be. I grew up there and love it still. Spent time in the (my) blue room. Time by that fireplace. Time on the floor playing. Sat at the same exact tables and chairs. Kitchen still looks the same. Not much has changed but after my friend's husband passed she changed everything and I don't blame her because it is hers now and it was getting pretty old.
She started remodeling it in January. My blue room might be changed to purple with some more decorations up in it. The big scenic wallpaper is taken down. I will always remember they had a forest looking wallpaper in their bedroom and their bed facing it. Then when you walk in the front door, there was this forest in the Fall looking wall paper. It is funny the only thing that still looks the same and probably will sense it was always hers even when her husband was alive, is her sewing room. Of course, you can't see the walls to repaint it or anything like that anyways because of all the cabinets of material and fabric she has. She loves to sew. There is a house that was built for me and that I lived it the first 4 years of my life and will always love. I started my life there. It might be remodeled but it is still a home.
Now about my other friend's house that I am following along with. My friend brought this house in July of last year and it's not only a house but land too. My friend is preparing and fixing and making all things new again in that area. My friend is planting food plots non stop, cutting down trees for good reasons, and just trying to make it more for the deer and other animals. My friend's dream is to make it into a place where people can spend time on it to hunt and play. Maybe sort of like a ranch, in a way. On that land, there was this house that was not done up at all so my friend has decided to take that project on and finish it by self. It is so hard for me not to give him suggestions unless he asks everyone for it but I have to say it is look pretty dang good if I can say so.
My friend is working on the inside and has some great ideas for it. My friend didn't start working on it til about middle to late December or early January if remember right. Then he will need to work on the outside of it. It is so pretty inside. The walls are pine wood mostly but the bathroom has some cedar wood in it. Of course, my friend is going to put antler lights up hanging from the ceiling and then deer on the wall and maybe some turkeys. It has a little cute, rock fireplace that came with it.
I know I'm not suppose to be thinking this but I am a women so please when you read this don't take it the wrong way. It is neat how my older friend is remodeling her house about the same time that my other friend is building one. It is kind of like out with the old and in with the new for me but then again I would never go out with the old because that is my house too. It is kind of another example, might be a strange one, on how God's timing is prefect in some ways. To let people know too, it is just life lesson for me personally and I am taking it like that and nothing else is coming from this. I say that with all my heart.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Rejection is a Kind of Suffering
I know I need a better title for this entry like I do most of my other entries lately but it isn't about the title. It should be about the entry itself. Maybe this title will get you thinking as you read the entry? That is my hope at least because this one will be a thought provoking one. I find it kind of strange that I am writing this entry a week til Easter and it is the perfect topic for Easter and what that holiday is all about. I think Easter will mean a lot more to me this time around then it has lately. I was going to try and wait til later in the week but my other blogs wrote let me write in them so I had to write something, somewhere.
With all the rambling aside, let's get down to the really reason I'm writing this entry. As you all know, if you have been keeping up with my blogs, my church has been talking about suffering for the past few months, maybe a month or 2. It is so strange because you could be suffering and not even now it until one of the sermons being tears to your eyes. Don't get me wrong I have had times in my life where I have suffered and knew that but when you are going through it now and not want to really admit it is hard. I noticed last night that for almost a year now and will be a year this July that I have been suffering through a lot of things.
Yet I am that strong and stubborn women who won't admit it to myself or anyone else for that matter. God always knows what we are truly going through, doesn't He? He did with me this past few months. I will say that since last July, I have felt the pain of rejection so many times probably more times then I have had in my life altogether and that is saying a lot. I guess what I didn't realize til last night was how Jesus went through that same rejection on the way to the cross. I think last night's sermon made me feel closer to Jesus then I ever felt before in my life, which is a good thing and moment. Yet in the times of rejection, His Father (Our Father God) knew what to do and how to handle it.
My Preacher gave us some reasons of why Jesus was rejected by His own people (us) right before the cross and here they are:
-Grew up from a dry land, meaning no one from his hometown believed him when he said he was the Messiah. His town sounded good but it was good to him. (Deepwater for me)
-He had no outwardly beauty like a king would. No beautiful garments or jewels.
-He came into this world quietly and humbly.
-He wasn't what the people were looking for.
They were looking for a king with all the pretty, worldly things and that was loud when he talked and commanded but that wasn't Jesus at all.
Because of all of this Jesus knew how to relate to us as people. That is how much He cared and loved us.
All this to say that this past year has been like that for me down to every word but yet God knew what He was doing with me then and in the future. I suffered so much at the shelter that I had to be let go because I wouldn't do it myself. I didn't want to leave those children because in that big mess so of course God had to do it for me. I felt like I was rejected from every job interview and in my money situations during my time off. I felt really rejected after getting let go because as far as I knew I was perfect for the children but they said otherwise and acted otherwise.
I was just not myself and had such bad thoughts about me and of course my grandma passing away right after that wasn't good either. That just gave me no hope for anything but again God knew what He was doing even through that. I got to spend time with my grandma before she passed and time with family during everything that was going on. After all that happened, I got a great new job at a great preschool that I love now. God just kept taking the worries and stresses off of me after I took that job.
I started to see someone at church every Saturday night that I haven't seen there but a few times in the four years that I have been going there. That was a huge blessing in deguise now that I look back on it. God never fails to use that person in my darkest times of life and I should have known from the start that God was up to something when I first saw that person. Then getting that lead teacher spot after Christmas. Then wanting and actually going through with the baptism because all of this led me closer and in love with Christ more. Now in a week it is Easter. See what I am trying to get across. God does have a plan for us and His Timing is prefect. We might not see it in the now but when we look back we just might see it. I sure did.
Not to forget to mention that this past week before Easter, I have told myself 3 times that I am finally happy and content with where I am in life. That for me is a big step in life. I have never been able to think or say that and really act on it and agree with it. I have said it in hopes of making be feel better but I don't think I've actually meant it til this past week. God knew what He was doing even if I couldn't see it through all the mess that I was going through for the months at a time. Yet after I thought all the mess was over, He happened to plan these suffering sermons at church so I could see what He has done for me.
That is just a little bit of what God has done in my life and is doing right now. I am truly blessed and at peace about where I am in my life right now. I wouldn't want it any other way.
With all the rambling aside, let's get down to the really reason I'm writing this entry. As you all know, if you have been keeping up with my blogs, my church has been talking about suffering for the past few months, maybe a month or 2. It is so strange because you could be suffering and not even now it until one of the sermons being tears to your eyes. Don't get me wrong I have had times in my life where I have suffered and knew that but when you are going through it now and not want to really admit it is hard. I noticed last night that for almost a year now and will be a year this July that I have been suffering through a lot of things.
Yet I am that strong and stubborn women who won't admit it to myself or anyone else for that matter. God always knows what we are truly going through, doesn't He? He did with me this past few months. I will say that since last July, I have felt the pain of rejection so many times probably more times then I have had in my life altogether and that is saying a lot. I guess what I didn't realize til last night was how Jesus went through that same rejection on the way to the cross. I think last night's sermon made me feel closer to Jesus then I ever felt before in my life, which is a good thing and moment. Yet in the times of rejection, His Father (Our Father God) knew what to do and how to handle it.
My Preacher gave us some reasons of why Jesus was rejected by His own people (us) right before the cross and here they are:
-Grew up from a dry land, meaning no one from his hometown believed him when he said he was the Messiah. His town sounded good but it was good to him. (Deepwater for me)
-He had no outwardly beauty like a king would. No beautiful garments or jewels.
-He came into this world quietly and humbly.
-He wasn't what the people were looking for.
They were looking for a king with all the pretty, worldly things and that was loud when he talked and commanded but that wasn't Jesus at all.
Because of all of this Jesus knew how to relate to us as people. That is how much He cared and loved us.
All this to say that this past year has been like that for me down to every word but yet God knew what He was doing with me then and in the future. I suffered so much at the shelter that I had to be let go because I wouldn't do it myself. I didn't want to leave those children because in that big mess so of course God had to do it for me. I felt like I was rejected from every job interview and in my money situations during my time off. I felt really rejected after getting let go because as far as I knew I was perfect for the children but they said otherwise and acted otherwise.
I was just not myself and had such bad thoughts about me and of course my grandma passing away right after that wasn't good either. That just gave me no hope for anything but again God knew what He was doing even through that. I got to spend time with my grandma before she passed and time with family during everything that was going on. After all that happened, I got a great new job at a great preschool that I love now. God just kept taking the worries and stresses off of me after I took that job.
I started to see someone at church every Saturday night that I haven't seen there but a few times in the four years that I have been going there. That was a huge blessing in deguise now that I look back on it. God never fails to use that person in my darkest times of life and I should have known from the start that God was up to something when I first saw that person. Then getting that lead teacher spot after Christmas. Then wanting and actually going through with the baptism because all of this led me closer and in love with Christ more. Now in a week it is Easter. See what I am trying to get across. God does have a plan for us and His Timing is prefect. We might not see it in the now but when we look back we just might see it. I sure did.
Not to forget to mention that this past week before Easter, I have told myself 3 times that I am finally happy and content with where I am in life. That for me is a big step in life. I have never been able to think or say that and really act on it and agree with it. I have said it in hopes of making be feel better but I don't think I've actually meant it til this past week. God knew what He was doing even if I couldn't see it through all the mess that I was going through for the months at a time. Yet after I thought all the mess was over, He happened to plan these suffering sermons at church so I could see what He has done for me.
That is just a little bit of what God has done in my life and is doing right now. I am truly blessed and at peace about where I am in my life right now. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Now My Heart's Desires Are......
I am going to make a list of what my heart's desires are now and then the answers to my heart's desires earlier on in life or just here recently. I hope you can tell by my lists that God does answer your heart's desire but mainly in His Time, which is always better in the long run.
Now My Heart's Desires Are:
-A house
-Marriage
-Family of my own
-Want to run my own outside daycare
-A pet (mainly a dog)
-Being a wife and not just any wife but a wife of ministry
-A husband and a Father
-God as the Center of my Life all the time
-Contentment-nonstop
-Peace-non-stop
-Rid of my Anxiety Completely
-A home where I can invite people in to hang out with
Answers to my Heart's Past Desires:
-Found a great job
-Getting to be a leader with my creative side
-Closer relationship with God
-Finding a guy that is so into God
-Being who God created me to be
-Going to a great college
-A great place to live (NWA)
-Love to no end
-More confidence
-Family near me to hang out with at times
-Hope in God
-Able to travel to different countries
-Making a difference in Children's lives
-Being fully restore
-Contentment
-Peace
I will explain why I put contentment and peace on both of the lists instead of just one list. At times, like now, I do feel at peace in God and content with where God has me. Then there are those times that I doubt and get all shook up because something else happens that I didn't think of and those things because my heart's desires again. Content and Peace is a battle that we have to reach for everyday in this world of sin. It is something that we have to keep in mind and pray for and/or think about everyday because if we don't think about, it might not happen. At least, I have to keep it in the front of my mind and remind myself daily of it.
Now My Heart's Desires Are:
-A house
-Marriage
-Family of my own
-Want to run my own outside daycare
-A pet (mainly a dog)
-Being a wife and not just any wife but a wife of ministry
-A husband and a Father
-God as the Center of my Life all the time
-Contentment-nonstop
-Peace-non-stop
-Rid of my Anxiety Completely
-A home where I can invite people in to hang out with
Answers to my Heart's Past Desires:
-Found a great job
-Getting to be a leader with my creative side
-Closer relationship with God
-Finding a guy that is so into God
-Being who God created me to be
-Going to a great college
-A great place to live (NWA)
-Love to no end
-More confidence
-Family near me to hang out with at times
-Hope in God
-Able to travel to different countries
-Making a difference in Children's lives
-Being fully restore
-Contentment
-Peace
I will explain why I put contentment and peace on both of the lists instead of just one list. At times, like now, I do feel at peace in God and content with where God has me. Then there are those times that I doubt and get all shook up because something else happens that I didn't think of and those things because my heart's desires again. Content and Peace is a battle that we have to reach for everyday in this world of sin. It is something that we have to keep in mind and pray for and/or think about everyday because if we don't think about, it might not happen. At least, I have to keep it in the front of my mind and remind myself daily of it.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
I Am Officially a Nerd
I guess the title of "Nerd" will follow me the rest of my life. No matter if I want it to or not and people wonder why I don't let other people in so easily. I was just talking to my co-workers about what I do in my personal life and reasons that I don't do or do some of the things and they were like, "so you were the nerd/geek kind in school, weren't you?" I came back with what I think was a good answer to help them understand me better but then I got to thinking, "Why do you have to be a nerd when not doing things to fit in?" Is that what kids these days are getting called because they won't do certain things? Just to warn whoever is reading this, it is going to be sort of a rant too.
Now don't get me wrong, I knew I was a nerd from the very start of my life ever since I could remember but I tried to cover it up with the title "goody two shoes" because in a way I had to be that especially in high school. I didn't have to be the nerd in class. My co-workers were kidding around about beer and wine because it was a hard day at work and you know how those jokes go. One of them would thought to say to me, "But you drink wine, though, right?" and I calmly told her "no" and she answered back "really, why not?" Then I answered, "Never been interested and it is a waste of money." Fastest answer I could come up with.
My other co-worker asked me, "So were you like a nerd in school?" and that is when I told them about being in a small country school and my parents working at the same school. My dad as the superenident and my mom as a teacher. Then, of course, they went on to say, "That would suck" and I just stopped there. You don't need to drink anything to be happy. I love the life I am living right now. Yeah, high school was hard and I got made fun of a lot because I was the goody two shoes and they didn't like my parents but I am the person I am now because of those things. They didn't stop me and they never will.
I might have been the nerd in my class but look where I am now. Another talk that we had, I think it was yesterday, was about hard work and you don't talk to this CofO graduate about hard work unless it is something good. Again, though, they were complaining about it. Complaining about having to work so hard for the job they wanted. They didn't want to go back to school. They wanted to find a fast program to go through or something like that. I will be honest on here what was going through my mind at that time is: "don't even talk too me about hard work because you don't know what it is and then why are you here?" "You can talk to me about hard work when you get a good job or even start your own business but until then no."
It is sad that daycares and preschools get the low end of the people who don't care or don't want to work hard. It should be the other way around because they are our future. I have seen it everywhere I have been for the past about 7 years. I hate that! Again, hard work is what I grew up with. My family was a hard working family. We never got handed anything. If my dad had to work 2 jobs, he did even with I think 3 kids and my mom went back to college with 4 kids, almost 5 kids. I just don't want to hear people complain about working hard because what they are doing now is nothing.
My dad always pushed us, kids, to the max. We could not relax at all. Relaxation is not in our blood. You think I'm kidding but I am not. We had to earn our way to what we wanted to do. Me not so much as the older siblings but still. Still to this day, when we are at home, my dad always has a project going on that he needs help with and then there is my mom who is so creative she can't just sit and do nothing. She is always making cards, cleaning, or cooking, or something outside.
Between jobs, I have tried not to work or do anything for days and I just can't do it. It is not in my blood just to sit around and stare at the wall. It is not even in my blood to go the easy way. I need and like a challenge and I will get through that challenge if it is meant to be. The longest I have been without a job is 3 months and that drove me up the wall because I couldn't do anything. t think that another thing that helps me too is that I fully depend on God or at least try to all the time. Some times I doubt his plans and ways but I know that He always has the best in mind for me. All this to say that:
I am thankful that I was born in SWMO and lived in Central MO for most of my life, even though I hate to admit it. I am very thankful now for living in NWA and there is no place I rather be right now. I have all the people and things that I need right now close to me (no more then 2 hours away) and I am happy. I am thankful for what I have and I have earned it almost all by myself. Yes, there were some mistakes and ways that were unplanned in my book but in God's book they were the right ways for sure. I praise God for all of this but I will say that having the hard work in me did help a lot.
Now don't get me wrong, I knew I was a nerd from the very start of my life ever since I could remember but I tried to cover it up with the title "goody two shoes" because in a way I had to be that especially in high school. I didn't have to be the nerd in class. My co-workers were kidding around about beer and wine because it was a hard day at work and you know how those jokes go. One of them would thought to say to me, "But you drink wine, though, right?" and I calmly told her "no" and she answered back "really, why not?" Then I answered, "Never been interested and it is a waste of money." Fastest answer I could come up with.
My other co-worker asked me, "So were you like a nerd in school?" and that is when I told them about being in a small country school and my parents working at the same school. My dad as the superenident and my mom as a teacher. Then, of course, they went on to say, "That would suck" and I just stopped there. You don't need to drink anything to be happy. I love the life I am living right now. Yeah, high school was hard and I got made fun of a lot because I was the goody two shoes and they didn't like my parents but I am the person I am now because of those things. They didn't stop me and they never will.
I might have been the nerd in my class but look where I am now. Another talk that we had, I think it was yesterday, was about hard work and you don't talk to this CofO graduate about hard work unless it is something good. Again, though, they were complaining about it. Complaining about having to work so hard for the job they wanted. They didn't want to go back to school. They wanted to find a fast program to go through or something like that. I will be honest on here what was going through my mind at that time is: "don't even talk too me about hard work because you don't know what it is and then why are you here?" "You can talk to me about hard work when you get a good job or even start your own business but until then no."
It is sad that daycares and preschools get the low end of the people who don't care or don't want to work hard. It should be the other way around because they are our future. I have seen it everywhere I have been for the past about 7 years. I hate that! Again, hard work is what I grew up with. My family was a hard working family. We never got handed anything. If my dad had to work 2 jobs, he did even with I think 3 kids and my mom went back to college with 4 kids, almost 5 kids. I just don't want to hear people complain about working hard because what they are doing now is nothing.
My dad always pushed us, kids, to the max. We could not relax at all. Relaxation is not in our blood. You think I'm kidding but I am not. We had to earn our way to what we wanted to do. Me not so much as the older siblings but still. Still to this day, when we are at home, my dad always has a project going on that he needs help with and then there is my mom who is so creative she can't just sit and do nothing. She is always making cards, cleaning, or cooking, or something outside.
Between jobs, I have tried not to work or do anything for days and I just can't do it. It is not in my blood just to sit around and stare at the wall. It is not even in my blood to go the easy way. I need and like a challenge and I will get through that challenge if it is meant to be. The longest I have been without a job is 3 months and that drove me up the wall because I couldn't do anything. t think that another thing that helps me too is that I fully depend on God or at least try to all the time. Some times I doubt his plans and ways but I know that He always has the best in mind for me. All this to say that:
I am thankful that I was born in SWMO and lived in Central MO for most of my life, even though I hate to admit it. I am very thankful now for living in NWA and there is no place I rather be right now. I have all the people and things that I need right now close to me (no more then 2 hours away) and I am happy. I am thankful for what I have and I have earned it almost all by myself. Yes, there were some mistakes and ways that were unplanned in my book but in God's book they were the right ways for sure. I praise God for all of this but I will say that having the hard work in me did help a lot.
Monday, March 14, 2016
Life of the Springs
Life of the Springs
My favorite river starts from
a spring in a cave. It is so dark
and deep in that cave with no
life at all. It goes way back there.
The part that I see and that begins
my favorite river is a blueish
green and so deep. It is life in it and
above it on the rocks. There are green
leaves and water dipping down like
raindrops.
Those raindrops makes a splashing when
they hit the water. That noise echoes
in the caves. The splashes of water
looks like diamonds coming out of the
water. That's how clear the water is.
The water then goes out to a big pond
to be storing to be stored for awhile
waiting for it to be used. In that pond,
there is life so the water gets used for
the first time there. It gathers up.
When it is time, the water is released
into the river. It is flowing on but as
it does it has enough water to be used
by people and fish. It makes people
happy because it is clear and shallow
enough and pretty to see the fish in it.
Every now and then there will be a very
pretty spot called a waterfall.
The waterfall could be rough spots in the
water or they are those kinds of spots.
Just like in people's lives. People see
what's in the water and the beauty that it
brings to life. Even though,it started out
dark and deep. The longer it goes on the
prettier and shallower it gets. The fish in
it might even get a little wiser too. That
is how a Spring is like Life itself.
Written By: Tiffney Wilson
Written In: April 2012
My favorite river starts from
a spring in a cave. It is so dark
and deep in that cave with no
life at all. It goes way back there.
The part that I see and that begins
my favorite river is a blueish
green and so deep. It is life in it and
above it on the rocks. There are green
leaves and water dipping down like
raindrops.
Those raindrops makes a splashing when
they hit the water. That noise echoes
in the caves. The splashes of water
looks like diamonds coming out of the
water. That's how clear the water is.
The water then goes out to a big pond
to be storing to be stored for awhile
waiting for it to be used. In that pond,
there is life so the water gets used for
the first time there. It gathers up.
When it is time, the water is released
into the river. It is flowing on but as
it does it has enough water to be used
by people and fish. It makes people
happy because it is clear and shallow
enough and pretty to see the fish in it.
Every now and then there will be a very
pretty spot called a waterfall.
The waterfall could be rough spots in the
water or they are those kinds of spots.
Just like in people's lives. People see
what's in the water and the beauty that it
brings to life. Even though,it started out
dark and deep. The longer it goes on the
prettier and shallower it gets. The fish in
it might even get a little wiser too. That
is how a Spring is like Life itself.
Written By: Tiffney Wilson
Written In: April 2012
Sunday, March 13, 2016
What The Farm Teaches Me?
What The Farm Teaches Me?
When you grow up on the farm,
it can teach you so many things.
For me, I am half of the person
I am because of a farm.
The farm teaches you responsibility.
Getting up early and going out doing
the chores. I always helped with the
chickens gathering eggs and feeding
them.
The farm teaches you to love nature
Going on those long walks through
the woods to the pasture. Picking up
acorns as I was walking along. I also
remember swimming in the pond every
now and then.
Depending on the grown ups you had,
it could teach you how to have manners.
I learned how to set the table for guests.
You learned to say "please" and "thank
you".
That's how I got to love pick up trucks.
I would ride in the truck and visit people
when we were delivering eggs and milk.
It was a Dodge and then a Ford. I probably
fell asleep most of the time on those rides.
The farm also taught me to be a
hard worker. From drawn til dusk,
we were always on the move. That's
probably why I find country roads
so calming.
I'll always be a farm girl at heart
because that's what I knew first in
my life. I wouldn't mind living it
again.
Written By: Tiffney Wilson
Written In: April 2012
When you grow up on the farm,
it can teach you so many things.
For me, I am half of the person
I am because of a farm.
The farm teaches you responsibility.
Getting up early and going out doing
the chores. I always helped with the
chickens gathering eggs and feeding
them.
The farm teaches you to love nature
Going on those long walks through
the woods to the pasture. Picking up
acorns as I was walking along. I also
remember swimming in the pond every
now and then.
Depending on the grown ups you had,
it could teach you how to have manners.
I learned how to set the table for guests.
You learned to say "please" and "thank
you".
That's how I got to love pick up trucks.
I would ride in the truck and visit people
when we were delivering eggs and milk.
It was a Dodge and then a Ford. I probably
fell asleep most of the time on those rides.
The farm also taught me to be a
hard worker. From drawn til dusk,
we were always on the move. That's
probably why I find country roads
so calming.
I'll always be a farm girl at heart
because that's what I knew first in
my life. I wouldn't mind living it
again.
Written By: Tiffney Wilson
Written In: April 2012
Thursday, March 10, 2016
2nd Time with Compassion International
"Saving children from poverty through the action of Love."
That is what I am and was thinking about last night at the concert where I was volunteering with Compassion International for the 2nd time. It was so neat! Every time you serve with a company like that you get different experiences and this one was different then my first. "Rend Collective" was the band in concert in Bentonville at the First Baptist Church on the square so it was right down the road from me. I didn't go because of the concert and I can say it this time because I didn't even know who the band was but now I love them. They are very creative in the way they sing and play music. They are almost like a Christian River Dance.
They are from Ireland so that might explain a lot of their music style, which again I loved. Anyways, I was there helping with the Compassion International booth again. I signed up thinking about going and wanting to go so bad. Then yesterday I just thought I was too tried from the day and I don't know if I can make it that late because it lasted til 9:00 or past. I left at around 8:30. I got up from my nap and went anyways and I am glad I did. I also remember/thinking, "I made a commitment and I need to keep that commitment" so I went. Not only was the concert good, but the little message to go along with Compassion International was a good reminder for me. It was the leader of the band talking about love.
The leader just got married 10 months ago so he was still learning all these new things about married life and one of the things he learned was an important thing. That thing was and this was the theme of his speech: Love is an action. It is not just a feeling. It is not just for yourself and to make you happy but it is for the other person and to make them happy. It is really a sacrifice, when you think about it. That is where he went into about sponsoring a child. It might make you make a sacrifice like cut back our your coffee, cut back on your eating out but whatever it is, don't you think it is worth it to show love to a child. I don't know how many times I have heard speeches like these at Christian concert but they still get to me every time.
When you really think about it, it is giving up something for another human being, just like in marriage. You have to give of yourself so the other person can be happy and even live sometimes in some areas. That was the message and that got me thinking at least but what really got to my heart was this family that was looking for a child. They were looking for a specific country and we only had a few out on the table. They took one to look at, though, but don't know if they brought it back.
They wanted this specific country because they already had a child in their family adopted from that county. That child was also helping pick out the child but that didn't last long. It was just neat to see that a parent/family was sponsoring a child from that child's country and just think about the possibilities that could be there for both the children and families. I hope they went or will go through with it. That would be so amazing! I, seriously, almost cried right there in front of them but I held back my tears. The country they were looking for was Ethiopia, which is not a very big country to start out with.
Then there were other people like some middle school girls that were serious about sponsoring and there was this women you wanted a teenager or almost teenager because they are the one less sponsored and she knew that. I just think it is funny how God puts certain people and kinds of people on our hearts. I don't remember way I picked my girl from the Philippians but I do know why I picked my new little girl from Guatemala. We all have our own area that God has gifted us with. I think I picked my girl from the Philippians because one I just liked little children and two I didn't really want to write her yet so the younger the chances are that I don't have to write until she grew up a bit but now she is a teenagers so I am sponsoring a teenager and it feels pretty good.
I never want to miss an opportunity in NWA to help or volunteer for or with Compassion International. They are great people and they are doing some of the most amazing things in this world!
That is what I am and was thinking about last night at the concert where I was volunteering with Compassion International for the 2nd time. It was so neat! Every time you serve with a company like that you get different experiences and this one was different then my first. "Rend Collective" was the band in concert in Bentonville at the First Baptist Church on the square so it was right down the road from me. I didn't go because of the concert and I can say it this time because I didn't even know who the band was but now I love them. They are very creative in the way they sing and play music. They are almost like a Christian River Dance.
They are from Ireland so that might explain a lot of their music style, which again I loved. Anyways, I was there helping with the Compassion International booth again. I signed up thinking about going and wanting to go so bad. Then yesterday I just thought I was too tried from the day and I don't know if I can make it that late because it lasted til 9:00 or past. I left at around 8:30. I got up from my nap and went anyways and I am glad I did. I also remember/thinking, "I made a commitment and I need to keep that commitment" so I went. Not only was the concert good, but the little message to go along with Compassion International was a good reminder for me. It was the leader of the band talking about love.
The leader just got married 10 months ago so he was still learning all these new things about married life and one of the things he learned was an important thing. That thing was and this was the theme of his speech: Love is an action. It is not just a feeling. It is not just for yourself and to make you happy but it is for the other person and to make them happy. It is really a sacrifice, when you think about it. That is where he went into about sponsoring a child. It might make you make a sacrifice like cut back our your coffee, cut back on your eating out but whatever it is, don't you think it is worth it to show love to a child. I don't know how many times I have heard speeches like these at Christian concert but they still get to me every time.
When you really think about it, it is giving up something for another human being, just like in marriage. You have to give of yourself so the other person can be happy and even live sometimes in some areas. That was the message and that got me thinking at least but what really got to my heart was this family that was looking for a child. They were looking for a specific country and we only had a few out on the table. They took one to look at, though, but don't know if they brought it back.
They wanted this specific country because they already had a child in their family adopted from that county. That child was also helping pick out the child but that didn't last long. It was just neat to see that a parent/family was sponsoring a child from that child's country and just think about the possibilities that could be there for both the children and families. I hope they went or will go through with it. That would be so amazing! I, seriously, almost cried right there in front of them but I held back my tears. The country they were looking for was Ethiopia, which is not a very big country to start out with.
Then there were other people like some middle school girls that were serious about sponsoring and there was this women you wanted a teenager or almost teenager because they are the one less sponsored and she knew that. I just think it is funny how God puts certain people and kinds of people on our hearts. I don't remember way I picked my girl from the Philippians but I do know why I picked my new little girl from Guatemala. We all have our own area that God has gifted us with. I think I picked my girl from the Philippians because one I just liked little children and two I didn't really want to write her yet so the younger the chances are that I don't have to write until she grew up a bit but now she is a teenagers so I am sponsoring a teenager and it feels pretty good.
I never want to miss an opportunity in NWA to help or volunteer for or with Compassion International. They are great people and they are doing some of the most amazing things in this world!
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Two Baptisms
I know it took me almost a week and a half to write this comparison and that is because I have been busy with other things in my life. I was going to compare my two baptisms and how they are different and how I feel afterwards. I first doubted if I should get baptized again because I mean how many people get baptized twice when they don't have to. I never heard of anyone getting baptized two times because they just wanted to. It was usually to become a member of a church or something along those lines.
My first baptism was when I was 9 years old. That was what I would call me "basic" baptism. That is when I understood what was right and wrong and that Jesus died on the cross to save me. I remember going over the 10 commandments with my parents before the baptism. I also remember that it was in the summer right before we moved to another city. I think that was part of what made me get baptized. I want to remember that I was somewhere in the middle of wanting to for sure but not quite yet but then we were moving so I said yes.
I was also baptized in a non-finished church because the church we were going to was adding on. There was no walls up and no pews in the building where I was baptized. It was all wooden walls and ceiling. I also remember that the baptism tub was out on some stairs where the front was suppose to be of the new church.
I have always know that I was saved and loved. I found the church here in AR that I could grow with in a relationship with God. Fellowship Bible Church. Growing up my family didn't have a "home" church. Where I was baptized first, I call that my home church because I remember everything about it and met some of my 1st friends there. Two other girls by the name of "Tiffany". This church in AR is my home church in this state. I will not go to any other church here in AR. I've tried a lot of them and I really love Fellowship Bible Church. I could have gotten baptized in college but I had to go to the church on campus for so many times and then I kept switching churches with my friends so I didn't stay at one there either.
The Relationship with God is what my second baptism was really about. I have felt closer to Him with the things I have gone through here in AR by myself then anywhere else. I have had difficult jobs, a lot of family members passing that I had to deal with on my own throughout the years, between jobs, a job with abused children that no one else really understood and never will. I know people were around me and God sent me people to comfort me but still doesn't say how much I needed God in these situations. I knew I always had my family around me for all of these things but with me I really have to think about things and really get rid of them and if I'm around any people I will care for them and not myself.
Not only the Relationship with God that I wanted to continue to grow but the Love for Him and the Trust in Him. I never really understand His Love until my eyes were opened by the children's shelter I worked at. Working there and seeing what this world was really like put me to shame when I notice how much I was kept safe at home and part of that was my choice in high school. I wasn't much of an outgoing person. Of course, the trust in Him just grew stronger with every new job and overtime I had to get through the hard times to see that He was there for me.
I wanted a Closer, Deeper Relationship with God. That is my goal now. Yes, when I was 9 years old I understood who He was as the Savior but now I'm starting to understand who He is as a personal Savior to me. He does work out all things for my good no matter what it is. He does care for me through the hard and good times. He does place me where He wants me to be for a reason and then lets me leave if need be. God does all of those things and I just have to understand why when He does and trust His Timing more then anything else.
So far now that I look back His Timing has been right on with everything, whether it be jobs, friends, life situations I had to get through or learn, and so on. He is taking me down the right path and for that I am truly blessed and I never want it to end.
My first baptism was when I was 9 years old. That was what I would call me "basic" baptism. That is when I understood what was right and wrong and that Jesus died on the cross to save me. I remember going over the 10 commandments with my parents before the baptism. I also remember that it was in the summer right before we moved to another city. I think that was part of what made me get baptized. I want to remember that I was somewhere in the middle of wanting to for sure but not quite yet but then we were moving so I said yes.
I was also baptized in a non-finished church because the church we were going to was adding on. There was no walls up and no pews in the building where I was baptized. It was all wooden walls and ceiling. I also remember that the baptism tub was out on some stairs where the front was suppose to be of the new church.
I have always know that I was saved and loved. I found the church here in AR that I could grow with in a relationship with God. Fellowship Bible Church. Growing up my family didn't have a "home" church. Where I was baptized first, I call that my home church because I remember everything about it and met some of my 1st friends there. Two other girls by the name of "Tiffany". This church in AR is my home church in this state. I will not go to any other church here in AR. I've tried a lot of them and I really love Fellowship Bible Church. I could have gotten baptized in college but I had to go to the church on campus for so many times and then I kept switching churches with my friends so I didn't stay at one there either.
The Relationship with God is what my second baptism was really about. I have felt closer to Him with the things I have gone through here in AR by myself then anywhere else. I have had difficult jobs, a lot of family members passing that I had to deal with on my own throughout the years, between jobs, a job with abused children that no one else really understood and never will. I know people were around me and God sent me people to comfort me but still doesn't say how much I needed God in these situations. I knew I always had my family around me for all of these things but with me I really have to think about things and really get rid of them and if I'm around any people I will care for them and not myself.
Not only the Relationship with God that I wanted to continue to grow but the Love for Him and the Trust in Him. I never really understand His Love until my eyes were opened by the children's shelter I worked at. Working there and seeing what this world was really like put me to shame when I notice how much I was kept safe at home and part of that was my choice in high school. I wasn't much of an outgoing person. Of course, the trust in Him just grew stronger with every new job and overtime I had to get through the hard times to see that He was there for me.
I wanted a Closer, Deeper Relationship with God. That is my goal now. Yes, when I was 9 years old I understood who He was as the Savior but now I'm starting to understand who He is as a personal Savior to me. He does work out all things for my good no matter what it is. He does care for me through the hard and good times. He does place me where He wants me to be for a reason and then lets me leave if need be. God does all of those things and I just have to understand why when He does and trust His Timing more then anything else.
So far now that I look back His Timing has been right on with everything, whether it be jobs, friends, life situations I had to get through or learn, and so on. He is taking me down the right path and for that I am truly blessed and I never want it to end.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
The Week After Being Baptized
Well, it has been exactly a week since I was baptized and let me tell you: It has been a week! When I say that I mean it in both a good way and a bad way but mainly in a good way now that I see the end of this week. I never want to give up the feeling that I felt this week for anything in the world. No matter what went on at work I kept going.
My energy tank was full and I was happy for 8 hours for most of the week. Friday I did kind of get a little stressed out but I think I kept it pretty good under control and it was nearer to the end of my shift. I just kept doing what I love to do and every day just seemed to go by fast for me. I was trying to keep the children busy and it was working for me too. Sometimes I just don't know how people can just sit around and watch the children or even just play with them. When I do that, the day goes by so slow for me. I just felt the energy of God just going through me everyday and I loved it.
I also felt happy and more confident then I usually do. Confident in what I was doing with the children and it only took me a morning to set up the lesson plans for me and I never went back to look at or change them again. This was the good thing about my week and those were all signs from God.
I also had some sort of hard times but I got through them better then I have in the past. I think God was just seeing what I would do if He finally gave me to answer to something that I have been praying about in the past. You know what? He did and I am happy with the answer. The answer came, of course, God and His sense of Humor, on Monday but it didn't bother me one bit this week and it made today a better day. Let's just put it this way. I felt like I had two choices to chose between and God did the choosing for me. Love it when He does that!
Know I have no doubt in my mind that the choice was the right one but I still have to work on it a little bit, which is something I did tonight. I was also called "a God-Person" by one of my co-workers and I took it as a complement especially after my baptism. I couldn't believe it! My co-worker just said I seemed like a God-Person and I will admit on the inside I was saying Wow! Thanks. That is what I want to be and hoping to be but on the outside I just said thanks and smiled.
Then this co-worker told me that she believed in God but doesn't go to church so now I know that I need to be extra careful on how I act in my room. Not that I act bad but I could have a little more patience and things like that.
Then tonight I did something with total confidence and comfort. To be honest, I usually doubt myself when giving people gifts or letters but tonight I didn't doubt it a bit before and I don't doubt it at all now. I know I did the right thing and God will do the rest like He always has done and always will. This week has just been just a total different feeling then I ever felt before. I feel like I don't have anxiety anymore but I'm going to wait to check and see if I don't for a little while longer. I just getting use to this new feeling and I need to know how it feels and why I am feeling this way so I can keep do it without the meds. If that makes sense.
I feel like a whole new person. Isn't that the way we are suppose to feel when we give our lives over to God. In me, there is a new creation and that creation just wants to pour out over people and just love them to no end. Keep in mind this is coming from a very shy girl indeed. I have seen God do 3 things and even more that I can't remember but I know noticed that day in a week. Just think of what He can do in a lifetime. To be honest, again, I have seen that over 8 years and I will continue to see that as long as God let's me.
If anyone reads this that knows me for the 4 years that I have been in AR or for longer you know these feelings are new to me altogether. I couldn't have done it all on my own. God did send some people into my life that has helped me through all kinds of problems. I could't be thankful enough. From people that I wanted to change for because I knew it would be best to just family members that been through the same things has I have or am going through right now. It is better to have a lot of older siblings in your life.
All this to say: I can't wait to see what God has in store for me for the rest of my life! I'm trusting and depending on him for everything. He is, totally, the center of my life now!
My energy tank was full and I was happy for 8 hours for most of the week. Friday I did kind of get a little stressed out but I think I kept it pretty good under control and it was nearer to the end of my shift. I just kept doing what I love to do and every day just seemed to go by fast for me. I was trying to keep the children busy and it was working for me too. Sometimes I just don't know how people can just sit around and watch the children or even just play with them. When I do that, the day goes by so slow for me. I just felt the energy of God just going through me everyday and I loved it.
I also felt happy and more confident then I usually do. Confident in what I was doing with the children and it only took me a morning to set up the lesson plans for me and I never went back to look at or change them again. This was the good thing about my week and those were all signs from God.
I also had some sort of hard times but I got through them better then I have in the past. I think God was just seeing what I would do if He finally gave me to answer to something that I have been praying about in the past. You know what? He did and I am happy with the answer. The answer came, of course, God and His sense of Humor, on Monday but it didn't bother me one bit this week and it made today a better day. Let's just put it this way. I felt like I had two choices to chose between and God did the choosing for me. Love it when He does that!
Know I have no doubt in my mind that the choice was the right one but I still have to work on it a little bit, which is something I did tonight. I was also called "a God-Person" by one of my co-workers and I took it as a complement especially after my baptism. I couldn't believe it! My co-worker just said I seemed like a God-Person and I will admit on the inside I was saying Wow! Thanks. That is what I want to be and hoping to be but on the outside I just said thanks and smiled.
Then this co-worker told me that she believed in God but doesn't go to church so now I know that I need to be extra careful on how I act in my room. Not that I act bad but I could have a little more patience and things like that.
Then tonight I did something with total confidence and comfort. To be honest, I usually doubt myself when giving people gifts or letters but tonight I didn't doubt it a bit before and I don't doubt it at all now. I know I did the right thing and God will do the rest like He always has done and always will. This week has just been just a total different feeling then I ever felt before. I feel like I don't have anxiety anymore but I'm going to wait to check and see if I don't for a little while longer. I just getting use to this new feeling and I need to know how it feels and why I am feeling this way so I can keep do it without the meds. If that makes sense.
I feel like a whole new person. Isn't that the way we are suppose to feel when we give our lives over to God. In me, there is a new creation and that creation just wants to pour out over people and just love them to no end. Keep in mind this is coming from a very shy girl indeed. I have seen God do 3 things and even more that I can't remember but I know noticed that day in a week. Just think of what He can do in a lifetime. To be honest, again, I have seen that over 8 years and I will continue to see that as long as God let's me.
If anyone reads this that knows me for the 4 years that I have been in AR or for longer you know these feelings are new to me altogether. I couldn't have done it all on my own. God did send some people into my life that has helped me through all kinds of problems. I could't be thankful enough. From people that I wanted to change for because I knew it would be best to just family members that been through the same things has I have or am going through right now. It is better to have a lot of older siblings in your life.
All this to say: I can't wait to see what God has in store for me for the rest of my life! I'm trusting and depending on him for everything. He is, totally, the center of my life now!
Friday, March 4, 2016
I'm a God-Person
I got the best compliment today at work. I couldn't ask for a better one especially after the week of my baptism. It was so random too. I found it kind of strange but it felt good that someone could just see who I truly am just through my actions and the way I love the kiddos and my job. This co-worker only been in my room for two days so that means she really hung out with me for two days. I would see her in the halls and around the building but never spent more then a few mins with her so she was right on.
The compliment was "You are a God-person, aren't you?" and I gave her a look like: what? She, then said, "do you drink?" I said, "No". Then she said, "Not even wine?" And again, I said, "No." The co-worker was like: "Wow!" It is so neat!
I like that name: a God-person. It just has a ring to it. It does explain what kind of person I really am. There isn't much more that I can say because I don't like talking about other peoples' life on here. I try to do as less as I can. A God-person to me is like this, and it is what I think just because of who I am, : It is a person who shines and lives out their life for God. It is a person who is happy no matter what the day brings. It is a person that love their jobs (for me children I work with) with a passion.
I might have to think some more on the name because right now it is hard to write what it really means. It is two simple words but yet those words are so strong together. How would a person even come up with that name? I hope this make somewhat of sense. I might try to write more on this entry if and when I think about it more so check back in a few days to see if I did.
The compliment was "You are a God-person, aren't you?" and I gave her a look like: what? She, then said, "do you drink?" I said, "No". Then she said, "Not even wine?" And again, I said, "No." The co-worker was like: "Wow!" It is so neat!
I like that name: a God-person. It just has a ring to it. It does explain what kind of person I really am. There isn't much more that I can say because I don't like talking about other peoples' life on here. I try to do as less as I can. A God-person to me is like this, and it is what I think just because of who I am, : It is a person who shines and lives out their life for God. It is a person who is happy no matter what the day brings. It is a person that love their jobs (for me children I work with) with a passion.
I might have to think some more on the name because right now it is hard to write what it really means. It is two simple words but yet those words are so strong together. How would a person even come up with that name? I hope this make somewhat of sense. I might try to write more on this entry if and when I think about it more so check back in a few days to see if I did.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
A Boy That Can Hear
I know I need a better title for this entry. Maybe I will think of one later or maybe not? If there is any wrong spellings on here without me noticing sorry it has been a day for me with spelling. We don't like each other today for some reason. Anyways, I was going to write this entry in my children blog but my computer is being dumb and I need to write it now so I'm going to write it here. Ok? Ok. It is about one of my little boys at work again and the change he has gone through just in the past 2 or 3 weeks.
When I started this job, I had this little boy in the infant room but then not long after he moved up to the toddlers room now so I have him again. Just seeing the changes he is going through is amazing, even for a "normal" little boy surgery can be so good. He had a hard time talking and relating to his friends. He would cry non-stop upon hours and hours. We just thought he wasn't ready to talk yet and that he was sleepy so that was why he was crying non stop. Well, we were wrong and it was amazing to see the outcome and see what assumptions can do to a person and a child if you aren't careful.
He was first having drs. appointments for I didn't know what back then so I just through them off like no big deal or at least hoping they weren't. The next thing I know his mom comes in one morning are says "He will be gone on this such day to go get surgery." Then I started to ask a few questions about what for. She told me it was just to put tubes in his ears. Then again I thought no big deal, there is nothing to that. You know no big change right away or anything like that. Well, once again I was wrong.
The first day he was back and that our Spanish teacher came he copied and listened to every word she said and that was a first so that is when I started to figure out the tubes are going to help. Then some days went by and I really think about watching him closer but then another co-worker said something that made me think last week and made me excited. The co-worker was talking to the little boy and said, "don't grow up", just kidding around. She said that because you could actually understand the words that were coming out of his month. He was actually talking. Yeah, it was and still is simple words like "no" and his friends' names but it is a start.
Paying closer attention to him now, I realized that he doesn't cry as often either if it is hard to understand or really is sleepy. If he really is sleepy, he will just almost fall asleep without saying anything so we have to watch him on that. It is a lot quieter in the classroom without his screaming and crying but it makes me think. I could have treated him a lot better and slow to get stressed if I knew what was really going on with him. From this I have learned that I do need to be more involved in the children's lives especially if they are having a lot of drs. appointments or are really sick. I need to ask more questions so I know how to treat the child during the day.
There is this little girl that I have too that I just learned has really bad allergies and is taking meds for them too. When she is crying, maybe her allergies are bothering her. Maybe she doesn't like the outside that much because it makes her allergies worse? Just thinking about how much you have to learn about the children you are taking care of, makes me think about my own children.
I will still have a lot to learn everyday even though I will be around them everyday. That never gets old because that is one of life's many adventures. We just have to know who to ask the questions to and talk about them to. For me, that tells me right there that God will have to take care of my children and give me the wisdom for me. I will never be able to do it on my own and I was silly to ever think that. We HAVE TO, HAVE TO STOP with the assumptions because they get us nowhere in life.
When I started this job, I had this little boy in the infant room but then not long after he moved up to the toddlers room now so I have him again. Just seeing the changes he is going through is amazing, even for a "normal" little boy surgery can be so good. He had a hard time talking and relating to his friends. He would cry non-stop upon hours and hours. We just thought he wasn't ready to talk yet and that he was sleepy so that was why he was crying non stop. Well, we were wrong and it was amazing to see the outcome and see what assumptions can do to a person and a child if you aren't careful.
He was first having drs. appointments for I didn't know what back then so I just through them off like no big deal or at least hoping they weren't. The next thing I know his mom comes in one morning are says "He will be gone on this such day to go get surgery." Then I started to ask a few questions about what for. She told me it was just to put tubes in his ears. Then again I thought no big deal, there is nothing to that. You know no big change right away or anything like that. Well, once again I was wrong.
The first day he was back and that our Spanish teacher came he copied and listened to every word she said and that was a first so that is when I started to figure out the tubes are going to help. Then some days went by and I really think about watching him closer but then another co-worker said something that made me think last week and made me excited. The co-worker was talking to the little boy and said, "don't grow up", just kidding around. She said that because you could actually understand the words that were coming out of his month. He was actually talking. Yeah, it was and still is simple words like "no" and his friends' names but it is a start.
Paying closer attention to him now, I realized that he doesn't cry as often either if it is hard to understand or really is sleepy. If he really is sleepy, he will just almost fall asleep without saying anything so we have to watch him on that. It is a lot quieter in the classroom without his screaming and crying but it makes me think. I could have treated him a lot better and slow to get stressed if I knew what was really going on with him. From this I have learned that I do need to be more involved in the children's lives especially if they are having a lot of drs. appointments or are really sick. I need to ask more questions so I know how to treat the child during the day.
There is this little girl that I have too that I just learned has really bad allergies and is taking meds for them too. When she is crying, maybe her allergies are bothering her. Maybe she doesn't like the outside that much because it makes her allergies worse? Just thinking about how much you have to learn about the children you are taking care of, makes me think about my own children.
I will still have a lot to learn everyday even though I will be around them everyday. That never gets old because that is one of life's many adventures. We just have to know who to ask the questions to and talk about them to. For me, that tells me right there that God will have to take care of my children and give me the wisdom for me. I will never be able to do it on my own and I was silly to ever think that. We HAVE TO, HAVE TO STOP with the assumptions because they get us nowhere in life.
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