A Month After My Baptism

           I will only write about baptism for a month and then this will be the last entry about it. I just write about it because I don't think it is by chance that God chose the 27th of Feb. when He knew Easter was exactly a month later. He had a purpose for that and for the job I am at at this moment and time with the people I am around. It hasn't been easy this past month but I have stuck it out and trusted God with it more and more.
          I think I have done a better job remembering taking it to God first then worrying about it or taking it to people first. That is really the way you should do it all. I also believe that the devil is testing me in a little way to see if I meant what I did about my baptism. In the book of Job, the devil was testing him to and he still trusted God with everything. I am not saying this to say I am better now because of baptism but I'm saying it to say that I'm always working towards the Love of God. There have been moments where I wanted to cry or wanted to say something mean back but I didn't. There were also nights that I couldn't sleep, even with my meds., because my mind was so busy but I said a prayer to God about what was bothering me even if it was late and it seemed to calm me down.
          I can't say that I have wrote every prayer down in my journal every night of these past two weeks but I can say that I have prayed every night, whether long and written down or short and using my voice while laying down. I have also learned about more of what I need to learn more about being myself and just what it means to really Love people that are different or just love them no matter what. I am learning that I need the fruit of the Spirit a lot more and just what I need to be a good wife. I'm see more about how God is preparing me for life both future career and marriage.
          Just seems like God has been opening my eyes more to what I need to work on with me and with the world around me right now. The lessons this month was just about having strength and being proud of how God made me to be. I have learned to ask for a lot more wisdom and courage for God and to be able to share it a lot more. It has been hard to ask for those things but I know I need them now. If I want to do anything for Him now and for all my life then I need to learn how to talk to people about Him. I just felt like I was being slammed with a lot of questions these past two weeks about who I really was and what I really stand for and I am scared that I didn't answer them or react like the way I should have.
          It stressed me out more then the children did at work. I didn't feel very good about it by the end of this past week. I kept strong though and I am still wondering how I can handle it in a nice, Christian way to show them what it is really like to be a teacher and a Christ-follower but the other way around. I tried not to let it get me down and I really talked to God about it a lot and I had to remind myself good thoughts about myself and why I was in the place I am in now. They would even tease me about not having a boyfriend and they teased me because they said they would find me a boy. I just thought I really don't want one right now and I don't need anyone else's help but God's and I believe He is working on one right now.
          I liked the sermon today at my parents' church because it talked about how Christ died for us and would not give up on us because He loved us that much. It was also about how the Word of God is stronger then that of Christ himself because He even used the Word to show some of the people He really was. I really liked it when the preacher said this, "the nails' holes in the hands and feet were put to show us who He really was. He could just of told us who He was and He could have made those holes gone because Jesus got a new body. His old body was deformed to where people could hardly tell who He was but yet He kept the holes for future generations. For us."
           This month has just been a lot for me but at the same time I like it. I have learned a lot about who God is and who I am in Him. I am a lot happier too it seems because I know that I can turn to him and trust Him. It is just a hard feeling to explain but at the same time it is a good feeling because I know that I can be stronger and this what God is making me be. I know He isn't done with me. In fact, He is just starting with me. I, even, have thought a lot more about having my own daycare and I haven't thought about that  in a year or so.
             It has been an interesting month but I love it. I feel a lot more confident in myself but more importantly, in God. I know He won't let me down and I feel and know too that He has a bigger plan for my life and I need to continue to follow Him to reach it.