In Sickness and In Health

           I am at a coffee shop on a Friday night writing this entry. I know I have a big house to myself but it isn't the same when I really want to think and write about something that could be a big entry. Just sayin'. As you see in the title, I have been thinking somewhat about marriage lately but in a good way. I have been learning more about it and what it really means and that those vows you say are really life vows. I talked to my mom this past weekend about both sets of my grandparents and I found something really caring and loving from their relationship. Here it is.
         Oddly, enough because older and getting ready and thinking about marriage, I have been comparing the marriages of people in my life and just watching carefully too. I notice that the vow "in sickness and in health" can mean everything in life and it does really because it means different things. It means something as simple as just getting surgery or old age to really caring about them spiritually and just praying non stop that they will live the life you want them to in a way. The last one really gets me because that fits my personailty in a way.
          Starting with the old age example: my grandma ( dad's mom) passed away before my grandad (dad's dad). It was so sweet what happened a year after. My grandad passed away a few days before his birthday. You have to understand that both of their birthdays were in the same month only few days away if that. My grandma was taking care of my grandad because he was just older then her and reaching that time in life but oddly enough God took my grandma home first. Not long after He took my grandad too because God knew without my grandma there to take care of him on earth he would live in pain and God is not for pain. In sicknesses and old age, in a way, my grandma kept my grandad alive.
           Now going onto the spiritually part is my other grandma (mom's mom) and grandpa (mom's dad). In this marriage, my grandpa passed away first and my grandma went on to live like 7 years after him but you could tell she was going down in sickness right after my grandpa died it just took 7 years. My grandpa was a strong, very independent type of guy, so strong that no one could do anything for him. I don't know his whole life story sadly yet and might never know it but from what I get from people around me is that he was a strong Christian. My grandma was a strong Christian though and prayed for my grandpa every chance she got. I can also see her just pleading with God about changing grandpa for the better.
           I will always love my grandpa for the guy I knew him to be and that is the strong, very independent, joking, country/farm living man he was. It is the commitment that my grandma had and the hope that she had for him that I see after they are gone. She held on for those 7 years in hoping for something and I believe in that strongly. Yet, there was also a time that she either had to realize that he wasn't there anymore or wasn't going to be there anymore and I believe that is when she passed away. She held on for so long, the love and hope kept her alive for longer.
          As I am writing this now, I am thinking about my future marriage if Lord willing and seeing these 2 marriages and the other living ones around me now while I am thinking about marriage is a big encouragement to me. I feel like I am in the middle of the two of my grandparents. I want a Christian man and will only marry and strong one at that but at the same time I will need to support my future husband in something that he loves to do like his passion because it has grown so big into something. I do that now off and on at times I feel like but now I know it will never compare to when I get married. I will just have to support my husband more like praying for him everyday, encouraging him when he leaves for work, encouraging him in his walk with the Lord, and so on.
          At the young stage of marriage, the support will be with what he is doing but later on in the marriage it will be in sickness and in health and am I ready to deal with that. Seeing what I saw my grandparents go through and parents and others are now. I would what to be like my grandma (dad's mom) and pass away first because I understand going down hill after your husband passing away. You don't know what to do with yourself if you have been helping and worrying about the husband all your life or since you could remember. That is what marriage is really about and I see it in this. You are really connected when you tie the knot.
           You will really be with that one person for the rest of your life so it is nothing to fool around with. You will worry for and about that one. You will love that one. You will cook for that one. You will live with that one. You will raise a family with that one. That one will see you at your worst and should still love you for life. I wish I could come up with more or better You wills.......but I can't right now. If anyone has anything, please feel free to comment. For me, why would I even want to date? I would probably date one or two times and be done if the guy wasn't the one. I'll be honest right here and now. Yet, if I was honest with myself, I can't wait for that feeling, if Lord willing. It will be the best feeling in the world or that is what I am told at least.