Goodness and Love of God

"How has the goodness and love of God sustained you this year?"

           Sorry that I have no written my own story like entry in a long time, since the 9th it seems like. I have just be copying things and writing short lists. I have been really busy this month with Thanksgiving coming up and Vets' Day being this month too. Now I am going to write a long one and a deep one because of what was taught at church last night. It got me thinking about this Holiday Season. I was going to wait and write one like this at the end of Dec. and start of the New Year but I have other ideas for that. This idea is a good Thanksgiving one.
          I love the question that was asked last night at church and it was the one above. They gave us time to think about it at church and had us share if we wanted to but I didn't want to but I thought about this past year and I have a lot to be Thankful for and it all started in Feb. That is when God's Goodness and Love started to touch my life. That is when I gave Him full control of my life and wanted a deeper love relationship with Him. Ever since then He has given me nothing that I deserve but everything that I have wanted. He has restarted my life on the dream path that I have always wanted but always scared to ask for for some reason. 
           I have had a year where I not only need to be thankful but also am thankful for everything that has happened this year. It started off hard with a new job and position that eventually turned out to be only for parents and where I had to fight to keep it if I really wanted it. I also had my faith tested by people at that job and also had my passion looked down upon but that only made me stronger in it and made me want to reach my dream. I was full of anxiety while working at the job. I felt like people were looking at me and judging me as worse as I ever have in my life and I didn't know how to handle it. It was all too much for me and I had to back out but it did brought me closer to God because I had to and did question some of the things that they made fun of me for. 
          I think that did end my job in the daycare/preschool field now and I am not ashamed to say that. During all the changing I had times where I just couldn't take things anymore. I was really stressed out and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. There was a moment where I didn't feel like God was doing anything to help me out. During the summer, I was trying to move apartments and yet I had to stay at my brother's for about 2 weeks because I had no place else to go while trying to get a new job. All that just gave me more and more anxiety that I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I had a night where I just hang out with friends and had new experiences but I will tell you one thing.
          Through all of that experience, I had one friend that kept pushing me through without even knowing it and I am especially this Thanksgiving for that friend above all the other good things that I need up with like my new job that is on my dream path now and my new apartment. Let's just say that while hanging out with my friends that one night, I kept looking at my friend's Facebook page and I just couldn't do certain things because I knew my friend's take on those things and my true takes to if I was honest with myself. Even though, my friend and I had our disagreements too this year and all of them I regret how I responded but I will say it was because of what I was going through at that time. I needed to have someone to share everything with about how I was truly feeling and I know I could just write it out to a friend and that friend could take it. 
           That friend probably doesn't truly know how much that saved my life during the changes in it but I am thankful that that friend was there when needed the most. Now that friend is part of the reason I am started to apply for grad college and going for my dream because that friend made their dream come true recently with trust in God so I'm trying that too and I'm not second thinking it either. It is time that I move on to something bigger and better for me. I am getting at that age where I need to settled down somewhere. Not only was my job hard and moving was hard too but it has been a hard year money was too.
          I think that I am learning how to ask for help and not take that for granted either. I have been lower on money then ever before because of rent and a nice but strange job that I can barely make it on what I make. I get paid every two weeks and not a lot either. One check is all of my rent. I have had to rely more on people this year then ever before while also relying on God to provide me with money and those people. Now God is teaching me how to be a women of God and better ways to make friends. He is making me see the things I need to work on for next year and showing me goals that I need to make and stick to them this coming year so my life can be more changed. That entry is coming in Dec. or Jan. 
         All this to say that I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for God's Goodness and His Love. It sure has sustained in me a lot of ways this year through people (family and friends), giving me a place to live and a great job, bringing me closer to Him, and seeing who I am really in Him too. I am not just a person but I am a women of God that has a purpose on this earth and I need to reach for that purpose and make it come true. 



My 2016 Thanksgiving Prayer: 

Dear Daddy, Thank you for everything that you have given me this year. Even though, it was my hardest year yet, it was my best year with You. I have never felt closer to You then this year. You have provided in more ways then one and through a lot of different ways too. You have kept giving me things even when I didn't deserve them. I have came closer to having a loving relationship with You and that is something to really be THANKFUL for and I never want to take that for granted. Help me to look back on this year when I need to be reminded of Your Faithfulness, Love, Goodness and Provision.

In Christ't name,

Amen