God loves to teach me things through the dumbest blonde moments ever but He still loves me. There are moments where I wonder and yell at Him because it just came at a bad time for self but God knows what He is doing. The devil cannot get to me. No matter how hard he tries. I will always turn to God. It was my dumb mistake. I couldn't blame anybody but myself.
The lesson He has been teaching me these past two days is: you cannot just depend on yourself. You have to depend on God and then people. It is a good lesson for life especially if you want to get married. Everytime I have to depend on others, it just reminds me more how much I need to rely on God. Each time I depend on people, it shows that I am very set in my ways and routines. It shows me that I need to work on it non stop.
I will kind of describe what happened so you can see how dumb it was. I was running low on gas like 75 miles more to go before I thought I was out of it. I was going to go fill it up last night or yesterday morning after work. Well, it ran out while I was on my way to work in the morning. I was thinking all weekend about filling it up but I thought, "no, I just will wait until after work Monday". That didn't work. I had to pay over $100 dollars for gas because I had to have it towed and checked on because I couldn't imagine what was wrong with it. I had to depend on 3 different people to take me places. All of them were adults but one of them. She was a little younger then I was but was a co-worker with me. I will admit that was the first time that I had to ask someone younger then me to help me out.
This time I actually had to shove my pride aside and ask people to give me rides to places like work. I had to make plans ahead of time. I actually had to laugh when I told people what happened. You know it taught me something else too. It taught me to not give up when things get hard and doubtful. That my doubt just needs to go to the side and stay there so I can focus on God. I was just thinking about how independent I have become in my life of living alone and having my whole routine. I thought about how I have wanted to be by myself and I still kind of do but there are times that I was someone in my life that I can call right away instead of going through my phone and taking time to find someone.
The lesson He has been teaching me these past two days is: you cannot just depend on yourself. You have to depend on God and then people. It is a good lesson for life especially if you want to get married. Everytime I have to depend on others, it just reminds me more how much I need to rely on God. Each time I depend on people, it shows that I am very set in my ways and routines. It shows me that I need to work on it non stop.
I will kind of describe what happened so you can see how dumb it was. I was running low on gas like 75 miles more to go before I thought I was out of it. I was going to go fill it up last night or yesterday morning after work. Well, it ran out while I was on my way to work in the morning. I was thinking all weekend about filling it up but I thought, "no, I just will wait until after work Monday". That didn't work. I had to pay over $100 dollars for gas because I had to have it towed and checked on because I couldn't imagine what was wrong with it. I had to depend on 3 different people to take me places. All of them were adults but one of them. She was a little younger then I was but was a co-worker with me. I will admit that was the first time that I had to ask someone younger then me to help me out.
This time I actually had to shove my pride aside and ask people to give me rides to places like work. I had to make plans ahead of time. I actually had to laugh when I told people what happened. You know it taught me something else too. It taught me to not give up when things get hard and doubtful. That my doubt just needs to go to the side and stay there so I can focus on God. I was just thinking about how independent I have become in my life of living alone and having my whole routine. I thought about how I have wanted to be by myself and I still kind of do but there are times that I was someone in my life that I can call right away instead of going through my phone and taking time to find someone.
I have came so block minded about what I want to do by myself and how I want to be by myself. I don't give options to anything else around me. There are so many neat places to eat even if it is by myself. I still need to get out there are see what is in the world. I have also became so prideful because of the things that I have done or can do. It is like God is taking the pride and independence away from me because it is time. I have been independence for many years. It is hard to describe as you see here but I know God was teaching me something through all of this and it does have to do with pride and getting rid of independence and being dependent or Him first and then other people if God has called you to that.
It has also showed me how hard it is to get ahold of people my age (25-34). Showed me that my age are all too busy to help people out and that I am not friends with very many of them because they are so busy at their jobs. I have no one my age working with children especially where I am at now. Bentonville is a big city for big companies and older people. There is really nothing here for the between college and career age. It is not bad having friends as adults because you just become wiser sometimes but then again they can't hang out with you because they have family or a really hard job. I did have one that was close to my age come and help me out as a co-worker and team leader, which I am really thankful for because that was in the morning when no one else was awake or had to be awake.
It also just show me that people might need to be dependent on me too whether it is friends or future husband and I always need to be prepared and willing to help them out. Where have my compassion gone for people and not just children. Have I been with children for too long? Have I been stressed out and worried for too long? No, I have just been wrapped up in my own little world and I need to get out more. I need to change my life to where I can fit in with the people around me easily and help them out more and understand them more. Be willing to open up more. Maybe the last three sermons are meant for me more then I thought they were? Sermons about freedom and rights and common sense as a Christian. I need to copied those notes somehow. Hopefully, I can find a printer at a library or someplace like that.
Just remember: "When God let's something happen to you or when something does happen to you, no matter what it is, you can always count on God teaching you something through it."
It has also showed me how hard it is to get ahold of people my age (25-34). Showed me that my age are all too busy to help people out and that I am not friends with very many of them because they are so busy at their jobs. I have no one my age working with children especially where I am at now. Bentonville is a big city for big companies and older people. There is really nothing here for the between college and career age. It is not bad having friends as adults because you just become wiser sometimes but then again they can't hang out with you because they have family or a really hard job. I did have one that was close to my age come and help me out as a co-worker and team leader, which I am really thankful for because that was in the morning when no one else was awake or had to be awake.
It also just show me that people might need to be dependent on me too whether it is friends or future husband and I always need to be prepared and willing to help them out. Where have my compassion gone for people and not just children. Have I been with children for too long? Have I been stressed out and worried for too long? No, I have just been wrapped up in my own little world and I need to get out more. I need to change my life to where I can fit in with the people around me easily and help them out more and understand them more. Be willing to open up more. Maybe the last three sermons are meant for me more then I thought they were? Sermons about freedom and rights and common sense as a Christian. I need to copied those notes somehow. Hopefully, I can find a printer at a library or someplace like that.
Just remember: "When God let's something happen to you or when something does happen to you, no matter what it is, you can always count on God teaching you something through it."
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