Thoughts of the Night

       So I just thought I would write down a little entry for me, myself, and I to remember some things as the new year starts. I was just thinking about how my friends' lives are changing all around me again and I am happy for them all. Then, again, there is still me trying to figure out what I want to do with my life still. 2017's goal is to get to a place or on something that I can make a change in my life. It can be something like starting to date to starting a ministry. I know between there is a big space and a lot of choices.
     I decided to write some things down so I wouldn't forget about them later in the new year. Here are some of the choices that I have been thinking about off and on for the past 2 or more years:

-Working as an admin. in the Childcare field

-Being a Lead teacher for a long time in the childcare field

-Start some kind of ministry for children or that idea could be open more

-Work at a public school as a teacher

-Travel to places

-Be a missionary to Guatemala or one of those for a year programs

-Starting to sell homemade crafts on my own

-Going back to school for a Master's in teaching

-Going back to school for a Master's in child life specialist

-Getting a small house of my own.

      I have these ten things running through my mind no wonder I have anxiety really bad. I just can't stick with one and go for it. Is it because I am so scared of commitment even with non-personal things. They also go back and forth depending on my mood. Like I was trying to study for the GRE to go back to school for the child life specialist but just looking at the book for that stressed me out for some reason. Then there is a thing called money that I am really low on right now so craft making looks like the best bet for me now.
       I could go on with reasons why I don't want to do things but yet those things are still on my mind at times. I won't give those reasons because it is late and I should be going to bed right now. I also said this was going to be small entry so I will keep it small and simple.