"A mother knows her own baby's cries and the different between each of them." You know how people and scientists say that or something close to it. Well, I believe there is another part to it if you have worked with children for long enough. I believe that, even if you don't have children of your own, you can tell between a spoiled and hurt cry. I realized that while I was subbing at a preschool this week. It was a hard day for everyone especially the children for some reason.
It was the first hard day I had at the preschool but I didn't mind it at all. I actually liked what I saw because it gave me hope that even children in "normal" settings need help too, not just at a shelter. Working at as many different children places has I have you will see differences and learn how to tell things apart like the crying. Here are what I think the differences are between a spoiled cry and a hurt cry.
A spoiled cry is just a lot of random screaming and tears. Sometimes it could even be fake. It is a cry that will stop right away when the child gets what they want. It is not as aloud as a hurt cry. It is more of a sobbing one. A cry where they will either hold onto you or not want you at all. They will try to move to the thing they want even if it means using people to get it. You can usually redirect it pretty easily if you catch it fast. It can be redirected with a good or bad thing like with another toy or a punishment. That one does not get under my skin at all.
A hurt cry, and I am not talking about the one where a child just falls down, but the one where a child has been abused. This one does get under my skin really bad. If I can't do anything about it, I get really shaky and upset at myself. I would do anything to get them to stop crying. Here is what their crying sounds like. At first, it is just a denial of doing what they are suppose to be doing. Telling the adult "no" and talking back. When the adult starts to touch them and be really strict to them, they start to act up more and more.
It is until the caregiver/teacher makes them do what they need to that they start crying and screaming. They start to kick and throw themselves down on the floor. They will do anything to try and get away from the adult. They will even try to throw things like a cot or just some toys at the adults. Sometimes the adults will have to hold them down to get them to calm down.
While the caregiver is holding them to keep others safe, they will scream, "you're hurting me" and other things along those lines. Anything that they think will make you let go of them. If that doesn't work, they will start kicking, hitting, and biting and maybe even cussing at the person holding them. For a child that has been abused, crying is a sign for serious help, not because they want something. It is a behavior that shows they need love and attention for sure, not things.
As you can see, in my opinion, there is a lot more to a hurt cry then a spoiled cry. A child that is crying because they are hurt is trying to get a lot more from the adult then the spoiled child. A hurt child is trying to get their needs met while the spoiled one is trying to get more things. It is strange that you can even see that much in a young child but it is true. It all goes back to the environment that they are growing up in.
It was the first hard day I had at the preschool but I didn't mind it at all. I actually liked what I saw because it gave me hope that even children in "normal" settings need help too, not just at a shelter. Working at as many different children places has I have you will see differences and learn how to tell things apart like the crying. Here are what I think the differences are between a spoiled cry and a hurt cry.
A spoiled cry is just a lot of random screaming and tears. Sometimes it could even be fake. It is a cry that will stop right away when the child gets what they want. It is not as aloud as a hurt cry. It is more of a sobbing one. A cry where they will either hold onto you or not want you at all. They will try to move to the thing they want even if it means using people to get it. You can usually redirect it pretty easily if you catch it fast. It can be redirected with a good or bad thing like with another toy or a punishment. That one does not get under my skin at all.
A hurt cry, and I am not talking about the one where a child just falls down, but the one where a child has been abused. This one does get under my skin really bad. If I can't do anything about it, I get really shaky and upset at myself. I would do anything to get them to stop crying. Here is what their crying sounds like. At first, it is just a denial of doing what they are suppose to be doing. Telling the adult "no" and talking back. When the adult starts to touch them and be really strict to them, they start to act up more and more.
It is until the caregiver/teacher makes them do what they need to that they start crying and screaming. They start to kick and throw themselves down on the floor. They will do anything to try and get away from the adult. They will even try to throw things like a cot or just some toys at the adults. Sometimes the adults will have to hold them down to get them to calm down.
While the caregiver is holding them to keep others safe, they will scream, "you're hurting me" and other things along those lines. Anything that they think will make you let go of them. If that doesn't work, they will start kicking, hitting, and biting and maybe even cussing at the person holding them. For a child that has been abused, crying is a sign for serious help, not because they want something. It is a behavior that shows they need love and attention for sure, not things.
As you can see, in my opinion, there is a lot more to a hurt cry then a spoiled cry. A child that is crying because they are hurt is trying to get a lot more from the adult then the spoiled child. A hurt child is trying to get their needs met while the spoiled one is trying to get more things. It is strange that you can even see that much in a young child but it is true. It all goes back to the environment that they are growing up in.
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