Dear Daddy,
I read something in my devo. yesterday morning that really stuck with me and hit my heart. The saying/phase was, "Hold fast to Me, Beloved, for I am Your Life." It is just a good reminder for me while all my friends are getting married and having relationships. It reminds me that You love me as Your Beloved. You care for me that way too. It also reminds me that you're my Life and my Everything. I really don't need anything more. I should just be able to enjoy Your Presence. For You to sty my Life, I need to Hold Fast to You and do that tightly and never let go. I want this phase to be brought to my mind when I think about negative thoughts about me and life. I want it to be an everyday occurrence. My theme for life. I want people to see that too in my life.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Monday, July 31, 2017
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Supporting a Friend
It is strange because I still want to write in my blog but it is like I don't need to do it right away. That is a good thing though because it means I am getting less and less anxious about things. It means that I don't need to let my thoughts out like I use to and if I do I am turing to the Right Person, instead of random people. Like this entry, this happened Friday but I kept putting it off til now. I was thinking about not writing about it but then it hits me. Maybe someone needs this little encouragement about supporting a friend or the one they love? Here I am writing about what happened Friday morning while at work.
I will try to be clueless about the person but it might be a little hard. It all started because I have this decal on the back of my car to support a friend of mine and the work that they do. My co-worker said, "I have noticed that decal on the back of your car and it makes me think that you hunt. Do you? Do you kill little Bambi?" Of course I replied back, "No, I don't. I just support a friend of mine with it." And the talk stopped there. We went back inside and started to work again. I didn't think much about the talk until I got home Friday night during my quite time. My friend and others like my friend get teased at, get made fun of, and even get hate messages sent to them or said to right to their face. When I thought about what my co-worker said, even though I knew it was out of curiosity, it made me think is this what my friend feels like.
I mean when you and if you get down to my background at all, you will see if I get the chance to hunt, I will. I am not against it at all. It is sad, yes but it is needed at the same time. I grew up in a hunting community. A BIG hunting community where all, if not most of, the guys in my class hunted. It was a big thing where I grew up. I started to think about if the talk would have gone the other way. What if I did hunt? Then what would she had said? What would I have felt? I mean once I got home that night, I felt kind of bad because she was hitting at how I was raised even though she didn't know that. I don't think she was against it either, she would have probably just been surprised if I did because I never talk about it.
It got me thinking that if a small comment like that can really start to tug at my heart and my life then how are these real hunters feeling when someone makes fun of them or says something rude about them. I can't think of how many times my friend would and has gotten letters and messages from people that disagree about hunting or ways of hunting. I mean hunting is a big idea but there is a lot of little things in that idea and ways. You will always have someone not like you. It is just life. This situation made me see that I need to support my friend more then I already do and also that all the support that I do already really does make a difference in the show and the community of hunters. Now some of you might think I'm not a hunter so this doesn't apply to me but yet it does. It was just a situation I was in on Friday but it could be any situation.
It could be about supporting your husband in marriage. Supporting your children when they need it the most and when they come ask for your help in and with things. It could be supporting another friend that is taking on something really huge and people don't think she can do it or just look at her strange when she is out in public. You are with her when she is out, they will look at you strange too. It is about supporting family no matter what they believe or how they are like. It is funny how God opened up my eyes during my quite time about this. I felt great that I finally got to stand up for my friend, even if it was in a small way. I got to say that I had this decal on my car to support him and that was it. I could have started a whole conversation about the show if my co-worker wanted to know more but she didn't. It was just knowing that that chance was there.
This could also be about sharing Jesus to someone who doesn't believe. It is the little questions that you get ask off and on that really mean something. It is the invite you gave to this non Christian friend that means something. You are there supporting that friend and giving them a better way to deal with things and life. Even with this show, I could have gone on about how it was Christian based and how my friend was a believer and all of those things. It does feel good when you know the background of a show or life because then you can tell people more about it. That is where testimonies come in, I guess. Friday was just an eye opener for me in a lot of ways. I just know now that I am not taking the hunting community lightly like I have been and I do support them.
I could have become real in that moment if we had the time. I could have told them about my background and how I grew up in a hunting community too. I could have told them that if I had the chance I will try and hunt. I am not scared of shooting at something, whether a deer or turkey or another animal. I just won't ever do bears. That is where I would stop in hunting but again that is just my opinion and how I was raised. It is a strange reason but it is a reason I don't take lightly.
The most important thing, I think, to take away from this entry is this: "Watch out for those little moments and/or comments about common things because it is in those moments that you can become real and share Christ with a person."
I will try to be clueless about the person but it might be a little hard. It all started because I have this decal on the back of my car to support a friend of mine and the work that they do. My co-worker said, "I have noticed that decal on the back of your car and it makes me think that you hunt. Do you? Do you kill little Bambi?" Of course I replied back, "No, I don't. I just support a friend of mine with it." And the talk stopped there. We went back inside and started to work again. I didn't think much about the talk until I got home Friday night during my quite time. My friend and others like my friend get teased at, get made fun of, and even get hate messages sent to them or said to right to their face. When I thought about what my co-worker said, even though I knew it was out of curiosity, it made me think is this what my friend feels like.
I mean when you and if you get down to my background at all, you will see if I get the chance to hunt, I will. I am not against it at all. It is sad, yes but it is needed at the same time. I grew up in a hunting community. A BIG hunting community where all, if not most of, the guys in my class hunted. It was a big thing where I grew up. I started to think about if the talk would have gone the other way. What if I did hunt? Then what would she had said? What would I have felt? I mean once I got home that night, I felt kind of bad because she was hitting at how I was raised even though she didn't know that. I don't think she was against it either, she would have probably just been surprised if I did because I never talk about it.
It got me thinking that if a small comment like that can really start to tug at my heart and my life then how are these real hunters feeling when someone makes fun of them or says something rude about them. I can't think of how many times my friend would and has gotten letters and messages from people that disagree about hunting or ways of hunting. I mean hunting is a big idea but there is a lot of little things in that idea and ways. You will always have someone not like you. It is just life. This situation made me see that I need to support my friend more then I already do and also that all the support that I do already really does make a difference in the show and the community of hunters. Now some of you might think I'm not a hunter so this doesn't apply to me but yet it does. It was just a situation I was in on Friday but it could be any situation.
It could be about supporting your husband in marriage. Supporting your children when they need it the most and when they come ask for your help in and with things. It could be supporting another friend that is taking on something really huge and people don't think she can do it or just look at her strange when she is out in public. You are with her when she is out, they will look at you strange too. It is about supporting family no matter what they believe or how they are like. It is funny how God opened up my eyes during my quite time about this. I felt great that I finally got to stand up for my friend, even if it was in a small way. I got to say that I had this decal on my car to support him and that was it. I could have started a whole conversation about the show if my co-worker wanted to know more but she didn't. It was just knowing that that chance was there.
This could also be about sharing Jesus to someone who doesn't believe. It is the little questions that you get ask off and on that really mean something. It is the invite you gave to this non Christian friend that means something. You are there supporting that friend and giving them a better way to deal with things and life. Even with this show, I could have gone on about how it was Christian based and how my friend was a believer and all of those things. It does feel good when you know the background of a show or life because then you can tell people more about it. That is where testimonies come in, I guess. Friday was just an eye opener for me in a lot of ways. I just know now that I am not taking the hunting community lightly like I have been and I do support them.
I could have become real in that moment if we had the time. I could have told them about my background and how I grew up in a hunting community too. I could have told them that if I had the chance I will try and hunt. I am not scared of shooting at something, whether a deer or turkey or another animal. I just won't ever do bears. That is where I would stop in hunting but again that is just my opinion and how I was raised. It is a strange reason but it is a reason I don't take lightly.
The most important thing, I think, to take away from this entry is this: "Watch out for those little moments and/or comments about common things because it is in those moments that you can become real and share Christ with a person."
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Anxiety is an Illness-Part 2
"Anxiety is an illness that takes away life."
Now most people would agree with that saying but what people might not agree with or some will and some won't is what I am about to say next. I call this entry a part 2 because I feel like I have written another entry with the same title but it had a different perspective. If I did write one with the title it was when I was on my meds. It is strange how meds. that are suppose to help with a cause can make the cause worse and I think that is what has happened to me over the years of taking anxiety meds. On every one of my anxiety meds., especially the "cheap" ones, I find anxiety and depression as a side effect of the meds. I don't know how many people it actually affects as a side effect but I think for me it did.
I know I have only been of my meds. completely for about a month now but I feel so different. I feel like I felt in college again. It feels good although it does have some of it problems like not being able to go back to sleep at 3:44 in the morning and because of that I am sleepy all day but at least I am not depressed or anxious. At least, I don't run out the people I really care about and love. At least, I can live somewhat of a normal life. It is something that I will have to do more research on because it is interesting how a med. that is suppose to help you, just makes it worse for you. I know that it true for me. While being off of the meds. for just a month, I have realized a lot of things about me that wasn't me while on the meds. Different personalities, different ways of handling things, and just different ways of living life.
One major thing was just the weight that I have gained in the past. Now that could be my age and me slowing down a bit but I believe that it as a lot to do with the meds. I was taking and not just the meds. I believe looking back now and seeing that I could have been more anxious, it made me eat more unhealthy. It made me go after the chocolate and coffee and even pasta that I love so dearly, more then I should have been. It is funny because since I have been off of it I don't crave pasta or really coffee that much anymore. It is like I am trying to make that habit that I made of thinking that I needed it. A lot of things were "thinking that I needed it or that I needed to do it".
Another major thing was being a big time people pleaser. Now I know I can get that way without the meds. but with them it just seemed worse. Just seemed like I wanted to please people and if I couldn't I would get anxious about what they would say. It was just about what they thought of me and not what I thought of myself or even God thought of me. I was focused big time on people and it wasn't for good reasons. I felt like I had to talk to certain people or they would forget about me. I wanted certain people to like me, therefore, I had to talk to them. I needed to like what they liked and be okay with that. It was all about the other person but in a bad way.
The thing that I probably regret the most is pushing myself onto people. I was so anxious for people to like me and be pleased with me that I would do anything to get them to like me. Sometimes that was just too much for that person that they walked away. I really believe that is why I didn't have many friends during those years. I would be too pushy. I would share my thoughts with them even when they didn't want to hear my thoughts. It would be all about me and I wouldn't once ask how they were doing or what they were doing. The worse thing about it was I thought I was doing it out of love but I wasn't. I was doing it because I was anxious. Then lately I have been remembering things like sermons and verses from the Bible I knew before taking the meds. but it is like they all left me or I just threw them all out and did things my way or the world's way. I have been relearning the Bible it seems like after being off the meds.
Then there is one more thing that I didn't like about me being on meds. It made me anxious and had that fear to where I thought everything was about me. If someone, say like a boss, would get on to the whole team, I would think they were really talking about me but didn't want me to know. It would be me who really messed up but yet they didn't want to tell me to my face. It could be good or bad. I just thought it was only about me. I couldn't get through a day thinking about oh, they were really talking about me and my mistakes but they didn't want me to feel bad so they just told everyone. I guess you could say that the meds. made me very self centered and if you know me without the meds. at all like in college and before, you know that is not me. You know I care a lot about people and am usually loyal to my friends.
I think I finally decided to give up the meds these past few months because they were also making me more depressed then I wanted to be. I didn't want to admit it at first but other people saw that side of me too. I mean it was becoming that bad that I had to change something. If it wasn't the meds. that made me depressed it was the weight gain on the meds. and my looks or something else. I found myself just thinking about the negative these past few months and being really down. Something had to change so that is when I started Plexus again and am going to try Holistic Healing. You might think that once I am on something that works, things will be back to normal but they won't be at all. I have at least 4 years, maybe more, to fix in friendships/relationships and my career and just living as a "normal" person. I think this is why I feel like I am behind all of my friends and I think, in a strange way, them getting married has helped me see all of this.
I wish all of those things could be an easy fix but they won't be. They even might not be fixable but praying God will allow certain ones to be. When you can complain to people and they say nothing back to you, in a strange way, you don't want to get rid of people like those. I know I have been overwhelming at points and not caring but I regret that now. I will also say that my eyes have been opened back up to other people's lives and what they are doing in their and why. I can see the importance behind things that I couldn't see when I was on meds. Anxiety is a illness and it can turn into a bad one if it is not taken care of the right way. I don't know what got me into this thinking but I have just noticed a big change in my life and I pray it only gets better without the meds. I don't think I could ever go back, to be honest.
It has been an adventure for sure for me. I just want the bad part to end so I can start some other new adventures in my life soon. I will also keep you all updated on how holistic healing is working out for me. See if I can keep up with it. It is so strange that the world as gotten so bad in the food industry and busy that we even need things like these to keep us healthy. I am hoping to get started in August so maybe I can write about my first appointment as my first entry for August.
Now most people would agree with that saying but what people might not agree with or some will and some won't is what I am about to say next. I call this entry a part 2 because I feel like I have written another entry with the same title but it had a different perspective. If I did write one with the title it was when I was on my meds. It is strange how meds. that are suppose to help with a cause can make the cause worse and I think that is what has happened to me over the years of taking anxiety meds. On every one of my anxiety meds., especially the "cheap" ones, I find anxiety and depression as a side effect of the meds. I don't know how many people it actually affects as a side effect but I think for me it did.
I know I have only been of my meds. completely for about a month now but I feel so different. I feel like I felt in college again. It feels good although it does have some of it problems like not being able to go back to sleep at 3:44 in the morning and because of that I am sleepy all day but at least I am not depressed or anxious. At least, I don't run out the people I really care about and love. At least, I can live somewhat of a normal life. It is something that I will have to do more research on because it is interesting how a med. that is suppose to help you, just makes it worse for you. I know that it true for me. While being off of the meds. for just a month, I have realized a lot of things about me that wasn't me while on the meds. Different personalities, different ways of handling things, and just different ways of living life.
One major thing was just the weight that I have gained in the past. Now that could be my age and me slowing down a bit but I believe that it as a lot to do with the meds. I was taking and not just the meds. I believe looking back now and seeing that I could have been more anxious, it made me eat more unhealthy. It made me go after the chocolate and coffee and even pasta that I love so dearly, more then I should have been. It is funny because since I have been off of it I don't crave pasta or really coffee that much anymore. It is like I am trying to make that habit that I made of thinking that I needed it. A lot of things were "thinking that I needed it or that I needed to do it".
Another major thing was being a big time people pleaser. Now I know I can get that way without the meds. but with them it just seemed worse. Just seemed like I wanted to please people and if I couldn't I would get anxious about what they would say. It was just about what they thought of me and not what I thought of myself or even God thought of me. I was focused big time on people and it wasn't for good reasons. I felt like I had to talk to certain people or they would forget about me. I wanted certain people to like me, therefore, I had to talk to them. I needed to like what they liked and be okay with that. It was all about the other person but in a bad way.
The thing that I probably regret the most is pushing myself onto people. I was so anxious for people to like me and be pleased with me that I would do anything to get them to like me. Sometimes that was just too much for that person that they walked away. I really believe that is why I didn't have many friends during those years. I would be too pushy. I would share my thoughts with them even when they didn't want to hear my thoughts. It would be all about me and I wouldn't once ask how they were doing or what they were doing. The worse thing about it was I thought I was doing it out of love but I wasn't. I was doing it because I was anxious. Then lately I have been remembering things like sermons and verses from the Bible I knew before taking the meds. but it is like they all left me or I just threw them all out and did things my way or the world's way. I have been relearning the Bible it seems like after being off the meds.
Then there is one more thing that I didn't like about me being on meds. It made me anxious and had that fear to where I thought everything was about me. If someone, say like a boss, would get on to the whole team, I would think they were really talking about me but didn't want me to know. It would be me who really messed up but yet they didn't want to tell me to my face. It could be good or bad. I just thought it was only about me. I couldn't get through a day thinking about oh, they were really talking about me and my mistakes but they didn't want me to feel bad so they just told everyone. I guess you could say that the meds. made me very self centered and if you know me without the meds. at all like in college and before, you know that is not me. You know I care a lot about people and am usually loyal to my friends.
I think I finally decided to give up the meds these past few months because they were also making me more depressed then I wanted to be. I didn't want to admit it at first but other people saw that side of me too. I mean it was becoming that bad that I had to change something. If it wasn't the meds. that made me depressed it was the weight gain on the meds. and my looks or something else. I found myself just thinking about the negative these past few months and being really down. Something had to change so that is when I started Plexus again and am going to try Holistic Healing. You might think that once I am on something that works, things will be back to normal but they won't be at all. I have at least 4 years, maybe more, to fix in friendships/relationships and my career and just living as a "normal" person. I think this is why I feel like I am behind all of my friends and I think, in a strange way, them getting married has helped me see all of this.
I wish all of those things could be an easy fix but they won't be. They even might not be fixable but praying God will allow certain ones to be. When you can complain to people and they say nothing back to you, in a strange way, you don't want to get rid of people like those. I know I have been overwhelming at points and not caring but I regret that now. I will also say that my eyes have been opened back up to other people's lives and what they are doing in their and why. I can see the importance behind things that I couldn't see when I was on meds. Anxiety is a illness and it can turn into a bad one if it is not taken care of the right way. I don't know what got me into this thinking but I have just noticed a big change in my life and I pray it only gets better without the meds. I don't think I could ever go back, to be honest.
It has been an adventure for sure for me. I just want the bad part to end so I can start some other new adventures in my life soon. I will also keep you all updated on how holistic healing is working out for me. See if I can keep up with it. It is so strange that the world as gotten so bad in the food industry and busy that we even need things like these to keep us healthy. I am hoping to get started in August so maybe I can write about my first appointment as my first entry for August.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Wanting the Best
"Yeah, I want it to be the best possible and the connection sometimes gets annoying."
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Best-
-of the highest quality, excellence, or standing
-most advantageous, suitable, or desirable.
Perfect-
-conforming absolutely to the description
-definition of an ideal type or entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In today's world a lot of people want the best of everything or the perfect things but really what does that mean? I put the meanings of the words in this entry because I wanted to see if there was a difference in them. I think this quote from a friend really means a lot too if we would only take the time to break it down. Let's do both of those things right now. The quote is the first thing on the list.
As humans, we want our lives to be the best and prefect in and about everything. We want what we think is best for us but as a believer in Christ, there is another way to look at that saying. We think that getting the best means that we have to work hard for it for ourselves when really we don't have to at all. We really only have to do very little when you think about it. We get to the point where we have done all that we can and then just wait for God to do the rest. We think that when we do it, it is the best that it can be. The best possible but we are wrong. We could never reach the highest quality or most desirable thing that is made for us. We cannot make anything prefect or without flaws or defects or shortcomings. Only God can do that.
That is why we have a special connection to Him called "Prayer". Now praying for the same thing over and over can get annoying sometimes or not seeing the results right away can also get annoying. Trust me, there have been things that I have prayed about that I want to see the big picture right away but instead God chose to send me little things along the way. It is okay to get annoyed with God. I bet Jesus even did when He was on this earth in human form. Life gives us things to get annoyed about but that is when we have to remember to turn it over to God in prayer. We can't get mad and sin when we are annoyed. If we were never annoyed, I believe that we would never really depend on God as we do or should. I really believe that we wouldn't go to pray with Him more often like we should.
Although the feeling of annoyance can get annoying, it is good to have a little bit of it every once in awhile. I know for me when I feel that way I go back to God and try to trust Him in the things that are annoying me. That is when I pray for the Fruit of the Spirit or for the Holy Spirit to take over. That is when I need Peace, Patience, Self-Contorl, Love, Faithfulness, Kindness and so on in my life. Without that feeling of annoyance, how would I know when I need this good things that God made for us? I know this is a strange way to look at prayer and the feeling of annoyance but in a way it is true. We get so caught up in everything being so prefect and at its best when really we shouldn't be like that. We want to be prefect and at best but we are sinful people. We need God to help us no matter how hard we try.
I will say that if we want the best internet connection for a great show to a prefect relationship, that God works in all sizes, small and big. We are not prefect, only God is. God is the one that makes us perfect, not ourselves. We can't rely on a brunch of small connections to make a show perfect because that we make us annoyed but we can rely on One Big Connection to make our lives the best they can be and that Big Connection is God. We can't give up on the things we care most about. We just can't but we can have that main connection when things get annoying and take them to God in Prayer. The main Connector of life. When you really think about it that way, life makes sense, doesn't it? I want the Best and Prefect Thing for my life and that is having God as the Center of it by taking everything to Him in Prayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best-
-of the highest quality, excellence, or standing
-most advantageous, suitable, or desirable.
Perfect-
-conforming absolutely to the description
-definition of an ideal type or entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In today's world a lot of people want the best of everything or the perfect things but really what does that mean? I put the meanings of the words in this entry because I wanted to see if there was a difference in them. I think this quote from a friend really means a lot too if we would only take the time to break it down. Let's do both of those things right now. The quote is the first thing on the list.
As humans, we want our lives to be the best and prefect in and about everything. We want what we think is best for us but as a believer in Christ, there is another way to look at that saying. We think that getting the best means that we have to work hard for it for ourselves when really we don't have to at all. We really only have to do very little when you think about it. We get to the point where we have done all that we can and then just wait for God to do the rest. We think that when we do it, it is the best that it can be. The best possible but we are wrong. We could never reach the highest quality or most desirable thing that is made for us. We cannot make anything prefect or without flaws or defects or shortcomings. Only God can do that.
That is why we have a special connection to Him called "Prayer". Now praying for the same thing over and over can get annoying sometimes or not seeing the results right away can also get annoying. Trust me, there have been things that I have prayed about that I want to see the big picture right away but instead God chose to send me little things along the way. It is okay to get annoyed with God. I bet Jesus even did when He was on this earth in human form. Life gives us things to get annoyed about but that is when we have to remember to turn it over to God in prayer. We can't get mad and sin when we are annoyed. If we were never annoyed, I believe that we would never really depend on God as we do or should. I really believe that we wouldn't go to pray with Him more often like we should.
Although the feeling of annoyance can get annoying, it is good to have a little bit of it every once in awhile. I know for me when I feel that way I go back to God and try to trust Him in the things that are annoying me. That is when I pray for the Fruit of the Spirit or for the Holy Spirit to take over. That is when I need Peace, Patience, Self-Contorl, Love, Faithfulness, Kindness and so on in my life. Without that feeling of annoyance, how would I know when I need this good things that God made for us? I know this is a strange way to look at prayer and the feeling of annoyance but in a way it is true. We get so caught up in everything being so prefect and at its best when really we shouldn't be like that. We want to be prefect and at best but we are sinful people. We need God to help us no matter how hard we try.
I will say that if we want the best internet connection for a great show to a prefect relationship, that God works in all sizes, small and big. We are not prefect, only God is. God is the one that makes us perfect, not ourselves. We can't rely on a brunch of small connections to make a show perfect because that we make us annoyed but we can rely on One Big Connection to make our lives the best they can be and that Big Connection is God. We can't give up on the things we care most about. We just can't but we can have that main connection when things get annoying and take them to God in Prayer. The main Connector of life. When you really think about it that way, life makes sense, doesn't it? I want the Best and Prefect Thing for my life and that is having God as the Center of it by taking everything to Him in Prayer.
Friday, July 21, 2017
Lovely, Adored, and Cherished
This is a prayer from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It was a prayer at the end of one of their First 5 devo. I am just writing this prayer down so I won't forget it in the long run.
Dear Daddy,
Thank you for my earthly husband. I pray that You will help me make sure that he knows that I love him, desire him, and respect him. Open my eyes to see his wonderful qualities and my mouth to speak admiring words. May our love continue to grow deep and our passion remains strong. And God, thank you for my heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus. I look forward to our wedding feast that is yet to come.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Relationship Prayer #4
"If God wants you to, kind of, kill that buck or for it to be happening the way it should, then you will have that opportunity, especially if you have prepared for it and prayed for it. So when I go into hunt, I just know that if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be. I'm going to get back out into the woods and keep going.
"Live and Learn."-Should be a teacher's motto. Not from a teacher but from a person with teachers in the family.
"I have done everything I can up til this point. If it's going to work out right. If not, it's just not meant to be. Too many times it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would but I had that Peace. It seems like always something bigger and better comes along. That God had planned for me and I had no idea. It happens better then I ever expected it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-All this from a very, very wise friend of mine
and it hit right where I am in life right now more then my friend knows and not just about hunting but about life and things in my life. Something I have been thinking a lot about lately but my friend just put into the perfect words. I like it when I can relate to stories and "sermons" but yet people have no idea that I do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The same friend that told me this about 4 years ago:
"You must pray. Sometimes we want an answer so fast that we forget who to ask the question to." "Pray for guidance and wisdom and for His Will to be done. I hope God puts the answers on your heart........all in His Timing of course."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Daddy,
All this just got me thinking about life but, more importantly for me right now, relationships. If you want a certain thing or relationship for me or want something to go a certain way, it will happen the way that it should happen in Your Eyes. If it's good for me I will have the opportunity, especially if I have prepared myself for it and prayed about and for it. The preparing part, though, is really hard. That's where I need Your Help. So when I go into action, if it doesn't work out, it's not time yet or the end of the world. I'll take a break and get back out there again and keep going. Daddy, I have done everything I know to do and felt like up to this point expect a few things and those things would be a gamble big time. Too many times it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would. I've tried so many ways but none of them have worked, which is good but at the same time hard. This time I just need to have Peace when I mess up and go on forwards and that will be good for me. It ways seems to be getting better and growing more as life goes on. I know You have a beautiful Love Story for me. It will happen better then I will ever expect but the question is "When?". I never know what to think anymore and I am scared. Daddy, I shouldn't be and don't want to be that way anymore. Where is the Comfort and why did it have to leave? What now?
In Christ's Name,
Amen
"Live and Learn."-Should be a teacher's motto. Not from a teacher but from a person with teachers in the family.
"I have done everything I can up til this point. If it's going to work out right. If not, it's just not meant to be. Too many times it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would but I had that Peace. It seems like always something bigger and better comes along. That God had planned for me and I had no idea. It happens better then I ever expected it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-All this from a very, very wise friend of mine
and it hit right where I am in life right now more then my friend knows and not just about hunting but about life and things in my life. Something I have been thinking a lot about lately but my friend just put into the perfect words. I like it when I can relate to stories and "sermons" but yet people have no idea that I do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The same friend that told me this about 4 years ago:
"You must pray. Sometimes we want an answer so fast that we forget who to ask the question to." "Pray for guidance and wisdom and for His Will to be done. I hope God puts the answers on your heart........all in His Timing of course."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Daddy,
All this just got me thinking about life but, more importantly for me right now, relationships. If you want a certain thing or relationship for me or want something to go a certain way, it will happen the way that it should happen in Your Eyes. If it's good for me I will have the opportunity, especially if I have prepared myself for it and prayed about and for it. The preparing part, though, is really hard. That's where I need Your Help. So when I go into action, if it doesn't work out, it's not time yet or the end of the world. I'll take a break and get back out there again and keep going. Daddy, I have done everything I know to do and felt like up to this point expect a few things and those things would be a gamble big time. Too many times it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would. I've tried so many ways but none of them have worked, which is good but at the same time hard. This time I just need to have Peace when I mess up and go on forwards and that will be good for me. It ways seems to be getting better and growing more as life goes on. I know You have a beautiful Love Story for me. It will happen better then I will ever expect but the question is "When?". I never know what to think anymore and I am scared. Daddy, I shouldn't be and don't want to be that way anymore. Where is the Comfort and why did it have to leave? What now?
In Christ's Name,
Amen
Sunday, July 16, 2017
This is My Why For Plexus
One of my main goals and why is this is: I want my anxiety gone and not to worry about my money. I started Plexus a year ago just to lose weight. That was my one goal but like so many others I didn't see change right away so I stopped. I also stopped because it was costly and I didn't know how I could afford it. I was in between jobs and just didn't know what to do. I wasn't for sure about the other products either. I only did the Triplex and that is the only think I tried. I didn't give Plexus the chance back when I first joined. I also became an ambassador because the products cost less but that still didn't help me.
I came back to Plexus when I heard they came out with some pills that can help with stress and anxiety. That is when I got back on track with Plexus. My future depends on my health and if I couldn't get my anxiety under control and/or gone then I wouldn't have the life that I have always wanted. I have tried chemical meds. from drs. for about 4 years and the longest meds. worked for me for about only 6 months. I felt like I was changing meds. to find the right one every 6 months or sooner. With the changes, came different side effects, whether easy or hard ones, I just couldn't focus and keep my jobs. I was so concerned with my health. I will admit to that I probably messed up some good relationships and friendships while I was on those meds. too.
My future depends a lot on my health and how mach money I can earn myself. I want to get rid of my anxiety so I can focus on my job and my friendships/relationships. I don't just want to say something that makes me anxious and not think about what will happen afterwards. I will admit that I would write a dear friend or feel like I had to write that friend because my anxiety would get the best of me if I didn't. I felt like I had to share things I would never share to people because my anxiety would blow me up in a way. I don't want a marriage or family based on anxiety. I want a marriage and family based on Love and Who we all truly can be. I don't want me anxiety to get in the way of my main dream. The dream I have had all my life.
Then, here lately, I got to looking into the business side of things because I am barely making with my part time job that I have now. I am honestly living paycheck to paycheck. With very little now in Savings. I see where this business can help me live comfortably on my own and let my keep my part time job that I love. I wouldn't have to get a 2nd job or a full time job later on down the road. I have been looking for a 2nd job off and on like for the weekends or the mornings but that would stress me out. I know that. No matter what kind of job it is. I also have a lot of credit cards to pay off and bills to pay that my part time job doesn't allow. My credit score is going down because of my late payments and things like that. Then, of course, that leads to making it hard for me to get my own house, which I want in the long run. Along with the job, if I keep changing it, I won't be able to get a house of my own because I tired before and the only problem was that I couldn't keep a job for long enough.
Last but not least, I want to travel more. Again, looking at the business side of Plexus the higher up I get the more I get to travel to places I have never been but always wanted to go. I could go to conferences in different states like FL and so on. I could get to go to Disneyland/Disneyworld which as always been a dream of mine too. I bet as I keep on with this business and keep trying the products with the money I am making once I start making some. I will be more and more impressed with this company. There are other products I want to try like their protein powders and muscle creams and so on.
Please help support these great goals of mine and while you are doing that you to can start your own little health journey and business if you desire too. All you have to do is ask me and I will let you know how to start both. I have tried to sell so many things like these from magazines and such but this is something I believe in and like. It is also good for you too. It helps when you like what you are selling. For me, make up and jewelry really aren't me, and if you know me, you know that is the truth, but being healthy is.
I came back to Plexus when I heard they came out with some pills that can help with stress and anxiety. That is when I got back on track with Plexus. My future depends on my health and if I couldn't get my anxiety under control and/or gone then I wouldn't have the life that I have always wanted. I have tried chemical meds. from drs. for about 4 years and the longest meds. worked for me for about only 6 months. I felt like I was changing meds. to find the right one every 6 months or sooner. With the changes, came different side effects, whether easy or hard ones, I just couldn't focus and keep my jobs. I was so concerned with my health. I will admit to that I probably messed up some good relationships and friendships while I was on those meds. too.
My future depends a lot on my health and how mach money I can earn myself. I want to get rid of my anxiety so I can focus on my job and my friendships/relationships. I don't just want to say something that makes me anxious and not think about what will happen afterwards. I will admit that I would write a dear friend or feel like I had to write that friend because my anxiety would get the best of me if I didn't. I felt like I had to share things I would never share to people because my anxiety would blow me up in a way. I don't want a marriage or family based on anxiety. I want a marriage and family based on Love and Who we all truly can be. I don't want me anxiety to get in the way of my main dream. The dream I have had all my life.
Then, here lately, I got to looking into the business side of things because I am barely making with my part time job that I have now. I am honestly living paycheck to paycheck. With very little now in Savings. I see where this business can help me live comfortably on my own and let my keep my part time job that I love. I wouldn't have to get a 2nd job or a full time job later on down the road. I have been looking for a 2nd job off and on like for the weekends or the mornings but that would stress me out. I know that. No matter what kind of job it is. I also have a lot of credit cards to pay off and bills to pay that my part time job doesn't allow. My credit score is going down because of my late payments and things like that. Then, of course, that leads to making it hard for me to get my own house, which I want in the long run. Along with the job, if I keep changing it, I won't be able to get a house of my own because I tired before and the only problem was that I couldn't keep a job for long enough.
Last but not least, I want to travel more. Again, looking at the business side of Plexus the higher up I get the more I get to travel to places I have never been but always wanted to go. I could go to conferences in different states like FL and so on. I could get to go to Disneyland/Disneyworld which as always been a dream of mine too. I bet as I keep on with this business and keep trying the products with the money I am making once I start making some. I will be more and more impressed with this company. There are other products I want to try like their protein powders and muscle creams and so on.
Please help support these great goals of mine and while you are doing that you to can start your own little health journey and business if you desire too. All you have to do is ask me and I will let you know how to start both. I have tried to sell so many things like these from magazines and such but this is something I believe in and like. It is also good for you too. It helps when you like what you are selling. For me, make up and jewelry really aren't me, and if you know me, you know that is the truth, but being healthy is.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Relationship Prayer #3
Dear Daddy,
It is nothing new that a man wants something to be the best. It is in their nature. You made them the leader of life and if things are not as good as they can be then they feel like they are losing or not enough. They have that drive but it can be too much at times on themselves. They can try too much and hard to have things the way they want them especially in a relationship that they might lose it. Patience in this will go along ways too. They have to be reminded that not everything has to be the best. They can mess up at times and maybe if they do, women can support them better. Sometimes I wonder about that attitude in guys not just for things but for relationships too. I pray that my future husband will know that he doesn't have to prove to be the best for me or anyone at all. No matter how things go, he will always be my Second Best and that is what matters in a relationships. I know for me being the best at things hasn't worked for me yet in life. Trying to be the best can mess things up. It can keep things from happening. Best/Prefect is the same thing so yeah I understand somewhat. We all have our faults and we want to turn them around the best we can but we can't do it by ourselves. We need God first and foremost and then in a relationship, we need each other.
In Christ's Name,
Tiffney
It is nothing new that a man wants something to be the best. It is in their nature. You made them the leader of life and if things are not as good as they can be then they feel like they are losing or not enough. They have that drive but it can be too much at times on themselves. They can try too much and hard to have things the way they want them especially in a relationship that they might lose it. Patience in this will go along ways too. They have to be reminded that not everything has to be the best. They can mess up at times and maybe if they do, women can support them better. Sometimes I wonder about that attitude in guys not just for things but for relationships too. I pray that my future husband will know that he doesn't have to prove to be the best for me or anyone at all. No matter how things go, he will always be my Second Best and that is what matters in a relationships. I know for me being the best at things hasn't worked for me yet in life. Trying to be the best can mess things up. It can keep things from happening. Best/Prefect is the same thing so yeah I understand somewhat. We all have our faults and we want to turn them around the best we can but we can't do it by ourselves. We need God first and foremost and then in a relationship, we need each other.
In Christ's Name,
Tiffney
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
First Field Trip By Myself
I'm just amazed at my life right now! The Vitalbiome from Plexus is helping my so much. Yet at the same time so is God or I can see Him more in life. It is still hard to explain for those of you who don't understand. Today was the first field trip I had without my co-teacher. I had a floater but it was also her second day on the job.
The field trip was to the Gardens of the Ozarks in Fayetteville so it was a long drive. It was also a busy morning before we went. We had an art lab and lunch right after that. We took our backpacks with us because somewhere in between I had to put sunscreen on them before we left. The art lab was something my aged kids couldn't do so that was hard. It was writing a script like thing for a motion picture movie. I had to do half of art and put sunscreen on by myself because the other teacher was on lunch break. We left for the trip and I will admit I was a little worried and people could tell by myself but I didn't cry at all today. I was worried because I had no idea what to expect on the field trip since it is my first summer and all. I didn't get my lunch break until after we got back from the field trip.
The field trip was to the Gardens of the Ozarks in Fayetteville so it was a long drive. It was also a busy morning before we went. We had an art lab and lunch right after that. We took our backpacks with us because somewhere in between I had to put sunscreen on them before we left. The art lab was something my aged kids couldn't do so that was hard. It was writing a script like thing for a motion picture movie. I had to do half of art and put sunscreen on by myself because the other teacher was on lunch break. We left for the trip and I will admit I was a little worried and people could tell by myself but I didn't cry at all today. I was worried because I had no idea what to expect on the field trip since it is my first summer and all. I didn't get my lunch break until after we got back from the field trip.
We loaded the bus at the right time and headed off to the Gardens. It took us about 45 mins to get there. The children were good on the bus no problems at all. When we got to the gardens, we only had about 10 mins. to look around, which would usually freak me out because I would want to get as much as I could showing the kids in that time. Today I didn't even think about it. We just walked around calmly and on our way to the butterfly house. We did get to see the treehouse and some of the other kids' area things that they had at the gardens. After we saw the butterfly house, we walked back to the bus. The children were a little rowdy on the way back but it could have been worse. There were some children I had to keep getting onto about legs in the aisle and to sit down.
I will tell you though that on the trip, I cannot stress enough how calm I felt. If I wasn't on Vitalbiome, I probably would have been sleepy that morning and really upset by the time we got back to school but I wasn't. I was even thinking about talking to one of the higher ups about the scheduling and what went wrong but I decided to push that aside and that it was okay. Once we got back to the school, I got to go on my lunch break so I went and got some coffee. I got back from my lunch break and saw that there were 3 teachers in my room so that was a big surprised to me but I didn't say anything because I knew they were leaving. Two of them told me how many I had and then went back to their rooms. Then the front desk sent one of them back up because they thought my other teacher was leaving at 3, which she wasn't. She was leaving at 5.
With the other teacher in there, I calmly went downstairs and told them that I had an extra floater in my room if they needed her anywhere else, which they did. The floater went to the other room where she was needed. After she left, I started an art project with the children because I knew that I had to do something to get me through the 2 hours of nothing scheduled for the children to do. I also had a feeling that I was going to get my afternoon 15 min. break so it made the time go by faster. That was sort of my fault because I chose not to take one but things were so confusing and messed up. I think it was just easier for all of us besides I'm use to not taking 15 mins. breaks. I've done it before.
That is another time I could tell that the Vitalbiome was working. To be honest, at my other jobs, if I had to stay that long or longer without a break, I would have gotten mad and the children could tell too but I didn't today. I also thought how funny it is that God reminded me of patience and taught me more about patience 3 days before all this happened. I had no idea that this was going to happen but God did so I know a lot of it was patience from God too. It was just another way of God showing me too that I can really trust Him because He knows what He is doing, whether it is 3 days into my future or 6 years into my future, He knows what is best. I really love how the pills gets me calm enough to where I can think about things like that but it is sad that today's world need something like that at the same time. We have gotten too busy with worldly things and stories like these should show you things like that.
I hope these pills are just something to lean into for right now while I am learning how to trust and lean into God. It would be amazing if I could do all of these things without the pills someday. Like they are just a tool for now to train me and then later I will be off of them. That's my goal at least. It is a small goal but it would make a worlds of difference in my life. I just can't see myself staying on any kind of pills for the rest of my life.
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Having Patience Around Me
Patience isn't one of my strong suits. Never has been and probably never will be. It is just one of the flaws that I have. A lot of people might think I have patience but that is because they see me at my job and not when I am away from it. I have learned to have patience with other people and children but not with myself. I want to control things so bad in my life that patience can just blow out the window sometimes. Last night's sermon made me realize that I do have some pretty awesome patience people around me and always have. This entry will be a little copy of the sermon and then about the people that have patience.
Patience can mean a lot of things and can be used in different ways. If you want to look and use another word for patience, you could use words like long-suffering, slow to anger, and endurance. I liked it when my pastor said it this way: "Patience isn't born, it is made" and how true that is. We all know that children do not have patience when they are first born. It is a learning process for them, probably all of their lives. They just don't know it yet. Every different season calls for a different amount of patience from a person. The sermon last night was around these 4 points on how to cultivate patience in your life:
-Stay Faithful (James 5:7)
-Strengthen Your Heart (James 5:8, James 1:2-4)
-Don't Grumble (James 5:9)
-Follow the examples of others (James 5:10-11).
I will be honest I kind of listen to the other 3 just a bit but that was because my mind was so set on the 1st point, which was "stay faithful". Something I am not very good at when hard times come my way. Not only that but my pastor used the story about the farmer waiting for his scattering seeds to grow and got really got to me too. I have known a lot of farmers in my 29 years and those farmers always had something about them but being the little girl I was, I had no idea what. My grandpa, babysitter (2nd dad to me), ag. teacher were all farmers but yet they were all calm too and fun to be around. They didn't give a care in the world. Why you might ask? Because they had patience.
They knew that they could only do so much for the crops and animals on the farm and trusted God for the rest of what they needed whether it be rain or anything else. They couldn't control the weather, therefore, they had to be patience they really didn't have a choice and no farmer does. I have a friend that is a county guy/farmer and I like how patience he is too. I can see that same patience in him as I saw in the other guys closet to me. My friend is so blessed spirited and full of happiness just because he has patience for things. That probably didn't come easy for him but he learned how to be patience and how to grow it in every situation. He is doing well in life because of that patience that he had and has. He has his own land and house at the age of 32. Let's not forget his own online show too. I love it when he uses the words: blessed, content, happy, and His (God's) Timing because that patience just shows right through him and through those words.
I will be honest too, I thought a lot about him during the sermon so I could understand want my pastor was talking about. Now I have another special person that has a lot of patience and that is one of my girlfriends. She is, right now, a foster mom for 3 kids and one teenager. The 3 kids' ages ranges from not even a year old yet to maybe 5 years old with a 2 year olds in between them. She got complimented for her patience last night at the place we ate out at after church. We were all thinking only if the lady knew the children weren't normal children. She does have patience and it can been seen. When she first got them, they weren't easy at all. The little girl was a newborn and the 2 years old couldn't talk or walk and he threw the biggest fits. She also had some scary times just wondering about things like health issues for each of the children.
Her patience has really grown in the past year too. I'm around these 2 great people of patience and even more but yet I don't see it until now and I feel like I am nowhere near where they are in that department. I have a lot of growing up to do when it comes to patience. I always seems to run away from anything that takes patience or to sacred to do anything that takes it. I like the verse my pastor gave to us at the end of the sermon and it was: 1 Peter 2:20-23 and I think I need to make that my life verse for awhile until I get the hang of this patience thing and process. The verse says:
"20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
We should follow in the footsteps of Christ's example. Of what He did on the cross for us. We need to entrust (trust) ourselves and our lives to God. We can be insulted at, laughed at, threats can be made at us but as long as we trust in God, we should be fine. We have to endure the bad things to get the good things. We have to trust that God will pull us through it and be patience until He does. That is what will make God happy with us. Just writing this entry is making me bubble up inside and all shaky too because I know that I need to do a lot better at this in life. I need to stop running away and being a scary cat and just face my fears head on. Who knows maybe those fears will turn out to be great for me one day. We never know what God has in store and that is why it is best to just take one day at a time with Him.
Challenge to Everyone, as well as myself: "Keep entrusting ________________ to God. (Fill in the blank) and I suggest doing it daily, if not weekly.
Patience can mean a lot of things and can be used in different ways. If you want to look and use another word for patience, you could use words like long-suffering, slow to anger, and endurance. I liked it when my pastor said it this way: "Patience isn't born, it is made" and how true that is. We all know that children do not have patience when they are first born. It is a learning process for them, probably all of their lives. They just don't know it yet. Every different season calls for a different amount of patience from a person. The sermon last night was around these 4 points on how to cultivate patience in your life:
-Stay Faithful (James 5:7)
-Strengthen Your Heart (James 5:8, James 1:2-4)
-Don't Grumble (James 5:9)
-Follow the examples of others (James 5:10-11).
I will be honest I kind of listen to the other 3 just a bit but that was because my mind was so set on the 1st point, which was "stay faithful". Something I am not very good at when hard times come my way. Not only that but my pastor used the story about the farmer waiting for his scattering seeds to grow and got really got to me too. I have known a lot of farmers in my 29 years and those farmers always had something about them but being the little girl I was, I had no idea what. My grandpa, babysitter (2nd dad to me), ag. teacher were all farmers but yet they were all calm too and fun to be around. They didn't give a care in the world. Why you might ask? Because they had patience.
They knew that they could only do so much for the crops and animals on the farm and trusted God for the rest of what they needed whether it be rain or anything else. They couldn't control the weather, therefore, they had to be patience they really didn't have a choice and no farmer does. I have a friend that is a county guy/farmer and I like how patience he is too. I can see that same patience in him as I saw in the other guys closet to me. My friend is so blessed spirited and full of happiness just because he has patience for things. That probably didn't come easy for him but he learned how to be patience and how to grow it in every situation. He is doing well in life because of that patience that he had and has. He has his own land and house at the age of 32. Let's not forget his own online show too. I love it when he uses the words: blessed, content, happy, and His (God's) Timing because that patience just shows right through him and through those words.
I will be honest too, I thought a lot about him during the sermon so I could understand want my pastor was talking about. Now I have another special person that has a lot of patience and that is one of my girlfriends. She is, right now, a foster mom for 3 kids and one teenager. The 3 kids' ages ranges from not even a year old yet to maybe 5 years old with a 2 year olds in between them. She got complimented for her patience last night at the place we ate out at after church. We were all thinking only if the lady knew the children weren't normal children. She does have patience and it can been seen. When she first got them, they weren't easy at all. The little girl was a newborn and the 2 years old couldn't talk or walk and he threw the biggest fits. She also had some scary times just wondering about things like health issues for each of the children.
Her patience has really grown in the past year too. I'm around these 2 great people of patience and even more but yet I don't see it until now and I feel like I am nowhere near where they are in that department. I have a lot of growing up to do when it comes to patience. I always seems to run away from anything that takes patience or to sacred to do anything that takes it. I like the verse my pastor gave to us at the end of the sermon and it was: 1 Peter 2:20-23 and I think I need to make that my life verse for awhile until I get the hang of this patience thing and process. The verse says:
"20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
22 “He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."
We should follow in the footsteps of Christ's example. Of what He did on the cross for us. We need to entrust (trust) ourselves and our lives to God. We can be insulted at, laughed at, threats can be made at us but as long as we trust in God, we should be fine. We have to endure the bad things to get the good things. We have to trust that God will pull us through it and be patience until He does. That is what will make God happy with us. Just writing this entry is making me bubble up inside and all shaky too because I know that I need to do a lot better at this in life. I need to stop running away and being a scary cat and just face my fears head on. Who knows maybe those fears will turn out to be great for me one day. We never know what God has in store and that is why it is best to just take one day at a time with Him.
Challenge to Everyone, as well as myself: "Keep entrusting ________________ to God. (Fill in the blank) and I suggest doing it daily, if not weekly.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Going Natural With Anxiety
These past few weeks, 3 to be exact, are usually the hardest for me and then seemed like they were going to be harder this year for some reason but everything turned out okay. Why you might ask? I really believe it is because the health pill (probiotic) that I am taking. Now I know some of you might say I am insane to believe that a pill like this works and that I should trust God more and I don't disagree with you on any of that. Some of you might say I can't afford it or that it is too much money right now. Let me tell you from a single person perspective trying to live on her own with a low paying job that gives her anxiety everyday, it does really work for me. I will be honest to I am a person who have tried the chemical meds. from drs. and this pill really does help better and is healthier for you then those chemical ones.
I don't fall into a trap because I think it is the in thing. I fall into it because I know it works and I, myself, like it too. These pills from Plexus are called "Vitalbiome". It is amazing when 279 clinical studies will back this pill up as a better pill for anxiety and stress. It is suppose to help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and promotes relaxation while taking care of your immune system and improves digestion. It also stabilizes your stress hormones. When you think about it too, it costs just as much as some of the better chemical pills but it is all natural and healthier for you. I have never felt as calm as I have in the past 3 weeks when I started this pill then with other meds. Here are just some examples of where I could tell that it was working for me.
It started to work after the 3 days I started taking it. I didn't really have bad withdrawals from my other meds. I mean I did stay up most of the night or would wake up in the middle of the night but that is when I was trying it out in the morning. Then I thought about while I took my chemical meds. at night so why not take it at night and that is when I started noticing at difference for me. There were a few days where I did cry after some hard things and surprising things that just came up on me but again that could have been a side effect going off my other meds. The first thing I had to do was move rooms at work and usually I would get all freaked out about it not giving me a heads up but I didn't. I just said okay and moved room. Might I add that my co-teacher was there that day either but I didn't freak out about that.
The next day, after that busy day, was a field trip day. I will be honest I felt calm on the field trip but having the tornado drill the same day not so much. I am going to share something else that I have notice too. I might still cry when I get anxious just depending on how bad and big it is but even my crying has gotten better with the pills. My crying is quite and short. It is like I can hide it better almost or wait til I get somewhere where no one is around. The weekend after this all happened was the weekend before 4th of July. I couldn't decide if I wanted to go home that weekend or not because I was just home the weekend before. I was also dog sitting that weekend. Well, it turned out that I went back home and took the dog with me. It turned out to be a fun weekend and glad I went.
Through that weekend though I was mostly calm. There was still some work to be done with me but it was nice to be home. Driving on the way back that Sunday night, I drove through a big storm. It was pouring down rain, winds up to 50 miles per hour, and I couldn't see while I was driving. Usually, for me, those kind of storms if I am driving in, I would totally freak out. This storm I didn't. I was pretty proud of myself. I stayed calmed and just waited til I got to the next exit and waited there for a few mins. like 20 mins. I waited til the storm calmed down a bit where I was and then I started to drive again. I drive through the whole storm like that. It didn't let up once. If it did it might have been for a few mins.
I did a lot of praying and talking to God during that drive though too. Those pills helped me to stay calm and talk to God in that situation because usually I would be so anxious that I wouldn't even think about that. Sad, I know. Then I just kept taking the pills and nothing big happened since until this past Thursday and I guess you could really say the days up to it. This past week I usually get anxious because it is a friend's birthday but I never know what I should do about it. I start thinking about things and what I should say or even do. In the past I felt like I had to do something for my friend. Like it was a had to not a want to. I can honestly say that this week I didn't dwell on it at all. I just said what I truly wanted to and I felt that want to not had to. On the day, I was super calm too.
Usually on that day, I am so anxious and thinking non stop about my friend. My mind just keeps going on and on about did I do the right thing and what if I didn't. This year I had none of those feelings. I was super calm and enjoyed that day to myself. I was more focused on my job and what I was doing then thinking about other things. These stories might sound strange to you and you might have another way you would do it and work through these stories but for me it was the pills. I know sometimes people don't really get me or understand me when I am talking about my anxiety but it does and has affected my life. Anxiety is a true illness, whether people think so or not. It does affect your life and the people around you. People don't want to be around someone who is anxious all the time but what if they can't help it.
It is an illness people are scared of and will run away from. It is an illness that people will say it is no big deal or just be stronger and toughen up. None of those words will make it better for the person because from experience, they will be strong all their life even when they don't need to be by putting on a front and then they will be alone for a long time. They will think that they are not strong enough and will push themselves then they hurt themselves in any way whether mentally, physically, or emotionally. Anxious people just need people to stand by them and that no matter what even when they try to push them away, don't go away. If they do that, they need you more then ever. They are pushing you away because they "think" they can be strong and do it by themselves when really they can't.
I'll end this entry by saying, "Be there for the people you care about, even when it is really hard." This whole entry is coming from my heart and feelings. I have been or am going through it right now. The dreams I want now, I can't have because I have to take the time to find a way to deal and/or get over my anxiety. Friends are getting married and having a family while I am still trying to deal with me. Don't give up on your love ones that have anxiety. One more thing: Let them share their feelings whenever and wherever they want to.
I don't fall into a trap because I think it is the in thing. I fall into it because I know it works and I, myself, like it too. These pills from Plexus are called "Vitalbiome". It is amazing when 279 clinical studies will back this pill up as a better pill for anxiety and stress. It is suppose to help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and promotes relaxation while taking care of your immune system and improves digestion. It also stabilizes your stress hormones. When you think about it too, it costs just as much as some of the better chemical pills but it is all natural and healthier for you. I have never felt as calm as I have in the past 3 weeks when I started this pill then with other meds. Here are just some examples of where I could tell that it was working for me.
It started to work after the 3 days I started taking it. I didn't really have bad withdrawals from my other meds. I mean I did stay up most of the night or would wake up in the middle of the night but that is when I was trying it out in the morning. Then I thought about while I took my chemical meds. at night so why not take it at night and that is when I started noticing at difference for me. There were a few days where I did cry after some hard things and surprising things that just came up on me but again that could have been a side effect going off my other meds. The first thing I had to do was move rooms at work and usually I would get all freaked out about it not giving me a heads up but I didn't. I just said okay and moved room. Might I add that my co-teacher was there that day either but I didn't freak out about that.
The next day, after that busy day, was a field trip day. I will be honest I felt calm on the field trip but having the tornado drill the same day not so much. I am going to share something else that I have notice too. I might still cry when I get anxious just depending on how bad and big it is but even my crying has gotten better with the pills. My crying is quite and short. It is like I can hide it better almost or wait til I get somewhere where no one is around. The weekend after this all happened was the weekend before 4th of July. I couldn't decide if I wanted to go home that weekend or not because I was just home the weekend before. I was also dog sitting that weekend. Well, it turned out that I went back home and took the dog with me. It turned out to be a fun weekend and glad I went.
Through that weekend though I was mostly calm. There was still some work to be done with me but it was nice to be home. Driving on the way back that Sunday night, I drove through a big storm. It was pouring down rain, winds up to 50 miles per hour, and I couldn't see while I was driving. Usually, for me, those kind of storms if I am driving in, I would totally freak out. This storm I didn't. I was pretty proud of myself. I stayed calmed and just waited til I got to the next exit and waited there for a few mins. like 20 mins. I waited til the storm calmed down a bit where I was and then I started to drive again. I drive through the whole storm like that. It didn't let up once. If it did it might have been for a few mins.
I did a lot of praying and talking to God during that drive though too. Those pills helped me to stay calm and talk to God in that situation because usually I would be so anxious that I wouldn't even think about that. Sad, I know. Then I just kept taking the pills and nothing big happened since until this past Thursday and I guess you could really say the days up to it. This past week I usually get anxious because it is a friend's birthday but I never know what I should do about it. I start thinking about things and what I should say or even do. In the past I felt like I had to do something for my friend. Like it was a had to not a want to. I can honestly say that this week I didn't dwell on it at all. I just said what I truly wanted to and I felt that want to not had to. On the day, I was super calm too.
Usually on that day, I am so anxious and thinking non stop about my friend. My mind just keeps going on and on about did I do the right thing and what if I didn't. This year I had none of those feelings. I was super calm and enjoyed that day to myself. I was more focused on my job and what I was doing then thinking about other things. These stories might sound strange to you and you might have another way you would do it and work through these stories but for me it was the pills. I know sometimes people don't really get me or understand me when I am talking about my anxiety but it does and has affected my life. Anxiety is a true illness, whether people think so or not. It does affect your life and the people around you. People don't want to be around someone who is anxious all the time but what if they can't help it.
It is an illness people are scared of and will run away from. It is an illness that people will say it is no big deal or just be stronger and toughen up. None of those words will make it better for the person because from experience, they will be strong all their life even when they don't need to be by putting on a front and then they will be alone for a long time. They will think that they are not strong enough and will push themselves then they hurt themselves in any way whether mentally, physically, or emotionally. Anxious people just need people to stand by them and that no matter what even when they try to push them away, don't go away. If they do that, they need you more then ever. They are pushing you away because they "think" they can be strong and do it by themselves when really they can't.
I'll end this entry by saying, "Be there for the people you care about, even when it is really hard." This whole entry is coming from my heart and feelings. I have been or am going through it right now. The dreams I want now, I can't have because I have to take the time to find a way to deal and/or get over my anxiety. Friends are getting married and having a family while I am still trying to deal with me. Don't give up on your love ones that have anxiety. One more thing: Let them share their feelings whenever and wherever they want to.
Friday, July 7, 2017
Relationship Prayer #2
Dear Daddy,
I am done forcing guys to like me or anything on that level. It is just too much work for me. :) I want this like and then love thing to come naturally. I want You in the Center of it orchestrating it all. I want the kind of love that can be handle with wisdom and grace. I want that kind of love that comes from a open heart. No matter who my future husband is I will accept him for who he is and who You made him to be. Messed up past and everything. My future husband needs to know that. We each have our flaws that is why we need You apart and with each other. Daddy, just like Noami said to Ruth, "I will be patient for however long it takes to see what happens." I might regret saying this if things do turn out but for now I honestly pray that my future husband won't rest in feelings or thoughts until he has found me and given me a chance. I want this to be my fighting prayer every day til You bring me my future husband.
In Christ's name,
Amen
I am done forcing guys to like me or anything on that level. It is just too much work for me. :) I want this like and then love thing to come naturally. I want You in the Center of it orchestrating it all. I want the kind of love that can be handle with wisdom and grace. I want that kind of love that comes from a open heart. No matter who my future husband is I will accept him for who he is and who You made him to be. Messed up past and everything. My future husband needs to know that. We each have our flaws that is why we need You apart and with each other. Daddy, just like Noami said to Ruth, "I will be patient for however long it takes to see what happens." I might regret saying this if things do turn out but for now I honestly pray that my future husband won't rest in feelings or thoughts until he has found me and given me a chance. I want this to be my fighting prayer every day til You bring me my future husband.
In Christ's name,
Amen
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Relationship Prayer-#1
Dear Daddy,
I just want to pray for all the man of my generation and below some might be above. I pray that they will have the courage to raise up and serve You in family and work. They need to be transformed by capable man of marriage and commitment. They should not look at their role as they are "helping" their wives but as a part pf everything. It is their house, life, and family too. They are sharing together, not apart. Daddy, now I have a particular story from You. Please show me how to pray given my story. It isn't an easy one. Never has been that is for sure. Wow! Powerful things. Daddy, I Love You first and foremost. I should put that at the start, huh?
In Christ's name,
Amen
I just want to pray for all the man of my generation and below some might be above. I pray that they will have the courage to raise up and serve You in family and work. They need to be transformed by capable man of marriage and commitment. They should not look at their role as they are "helping" their wives but as a part pf everything. It is their house, life, and family too. They are sharing together, not apart. Daddy, now I have a particular story from You. Please show me how to pray given my story. It isn't an easy one. Never has been that is for sure. Wow! Powerful things. Daddy, I Love You first and foremost. I should put that at the start, huh?
In Christ's name,
Amen
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Jesus Came So That We May Be Citizens of Heaven
Being it the 4th of July and all, I thought I would write a entry that is about freedom. It isn't about the freedom that we think as a country but it is about the freedom we think about as Christians. It is the freedom we have in Christ, our Lord. It is kind of strange how I came up with a topic because I was thinking about couple of friends' birthdays that are this week after the 4th. One friend's is the 5th and the other friend's is the 6th. Then I got to thinking about my birthday and how it is two days after Christmas and I just thought it made a neat topic to write about so here I am writing about it on the 4th. I also have the day off from work so I am writing while I am not too busy.
I don't know why this topic didn't come to me until now but it is pretty neat once you think about it. My birthday is two days after Jesus' so called birthday or when we celebrate it at least. No one really knows when His birthday really was. Jesus came to this world to save it from sin. We got so messed up that God decided to come down to this earth and lead us in the way we should go. Right? He came as a person on Christmas to show us how to love and other things like that. I am thinking about it now like this: Christmas is sort of Heaven's 4th of July or our 4th of July as Christians. It is when we were freed from our sin. It is when someone else took on a sacrifice for us to live a free and happy life.
Now the strange thing here is that I have friends that their birthday is right after the real 4th of July. It is something we have in common but yet those two things mean totally different things. As we, Americans, know the 4th of July is our country's birthday. It is when the USA became a country in 1776. Yet people had to fight for that freedom that we now enjoy and have since that year. There has been a lot of wars and still are today trying to keep this country free in a lot of ways. People had to fight for other people even people that were not born yet so one day we would enjoy this freedom we have now. Even with the wars we have now, those people are fighting for future Americans like my children and my friends' children and their children and so on.
It means a lot when you look at it both ways but when you see one person take on everyone's sin and then a lot of man and woman take on the freedom for other people. It shows you who the strongest one really is and where our reliance should be. Yes, we are blessed to live in a country that has freedom to believe in different things and ways. We get wrapped up in those ways and things that sometimes we forget to look at why we have a free nation and look at the other nations that aren't free. We get so full of ourselves at times that we forget about Africa and what is going on over there or Central America or Middle East or even our neighbors a lot of times. Yes, we are blessed to be the home of the free and the brave. We are blessed to have people that will fight for us. I am thankful for those people as much as any other American is.
But we are all human and we all fail at times too. There is only one True and Strong Person that we stand for us and beside us even when this country falls and we all have to admit it will. Not everything stays like it is forever. I like being an American citizen and having the freedom to do things that I believe but even better, I love being a Heaven Citizen. I love it that Christ fought for us and won over everything just because He loved and cared for us that much to give His life up. This 4th of July or at least the rest of it, I challenge each of you to take it that consideration and just think about this entry. It makes sense once you think about it. Whether you like to think about it this way or not, God did give us this wonderful country to live in. We are not here by chance or mistake. We are not free just because some people fought for us.
God puts things in order in life and He for sure put this country and the situations we are in, in order and for a reason. I strongly believe that! I still find it strange at times that some of my friends and me are close to both of the holidays that have so much in common yet in different ways. It is really the little things that make the most important sense when we take the time to look at them in that way. I would also like to think about the ways we celebrate both of them and see if any of the traditions we have have anything in common but that is a whole other entry someday. It was also surprising how easy this entry came to me because I was scared that it wasn't going to be easy to write.
I don't know why this topic didn't come to me until now but it is pretty neat once you think about it. My birthday is two days after Jesus' so called birthday or when we celebrate it at least. No one really knows when His birthday really was. Jesus came to this world to save it from sin. We got so messed up that God decided to come down to this earth and lead us in the way we should go. Right? He came as a person on Christmas to show us how to love and other things like that. I am thinking about it now like this: Christmas is sort of Heaven's 4th of July or our 4th of July as Christians. It is when we were freed from our sin. It is when someone else took on a sacrifice for us to live a free and happy life.
Now the strange thing here is that I have friends that their birthday is right after the real 4th of July. It is something we have in common but yet those two things mean totally different things. As we, Americans, know the 4th of July is our country's birthday. It is when the USA became a country in 1776. Yet people had to fight for that freedom that we now enjoy and have since that year. There has been a lot of wars and still are today trying to keep this country free in a lot of ways. People had to fight for other people even people that were not born yet so one day we would enjoy this freedom we have now. Even with the wars we have now, those people are fighting for future Americans like my children and my friends' children and their children and so on.
It means a lot when you look at it both ways but when you see one person take on everyone's sin and then a lot of man and woman take on the freedom for other people. It shows you who the strongest one really is and where our reliance should be. Yes, we are blessed to live in a country that has freedom to believe in different things and ways. We get wrapped up in those ways and things that sometimes we forget to look at why we have a free nation and look at the other nations that aren't free. We get so full of ourselves at times that we forget about Africa and what is going on over there or Central America or Middle East or even our neighbors a lot of times. Yes, we are blessed to be the home of the free and the brave. We are blessed to have people that will fight for us. I am thankful for those people as much as any other American is.
But we are all human and we all fail at times too. There is only one True and Strong Person that we stand for us and beside us even when this country falls and we all have to admit it will. Not everything stays like it is forever. I like being an American citizen and having the freedom to do things that I believe but even better, I love being a Heaven Citizen. I love it that Christ fought for us and won over everything just because He loved and cared for us that much to give His life up. This 4th of July or at least the rest of it, I challenge each of you to take it that consideration and just think about this entry. It makes sense once you think about it. Whether you like to think about it this way or not, God did give us this wonderful country to live in. We are not here by chance or mistake. We are not free just because some people fought for us.
God puts things in order in life and He for sure put this country and the situations we are in, in order and for a reason. I strongly believe that! I still find it strange at times that some of my friends and me are close to both of the holidays that have so much in common yet in different ways. It is really the little things that make the most important sense when we take the time to look at them in that way. I would also like to think about the ways we celebrate both of them and see if any of the traditions we have have anything in common but that is a whole other entry someday. It was also surprising how easy this entry came to me because I was scared that it wasn't going to be easy to write.
Sunday, July 2, 2017
Seeking the Light in the Darkness
-Psalms 27:1
-"The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-John 1:4-13
-"In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
-Point #1
-To Seek the Light we must know the Light and who He is.
-Point #2
-Stop overanalyzing your sin so much that you forget to see the Light.
-I really like this point #2 because I overanalyze things so much even my sins. I could be and am usually thinking about how I messed up through a certain situation and then I try so hard not to mess another situation up by doing it again. There is a fine balance about thinking about your sins a little bit and then overanalyzing them. It could get to where I am really hard on myself at times and that stresses me out and just runs out into my life and makes it not look so good towards other people. If I can focus on the Light, then things would be brighter and easier because I know that I am never by myself. The Light will get me through the situation, not myself.
-Point #3
-To seek the Light we must rid ourselves of everything that withholds us from seeking the Light.
-Does it help me to run towards Jesus?
-Fix our eyes on Jesus, while throwing off the sins.
-I love this point, also, because it just reminds me that we need to get rid of everything bad to see Jesus. The verse that the preacher used to explain this point was the verse about running towards Christ. For me, that is a good verse because I totally understand the running part and keeping your eye focused on the end goal. I also just love seeing the picture of me throwing things off like my sins while I am running towards Christ. It is really a relief when you can throw things off of you while running and it does make you go faster. It gives you the sense that you are not being held down anymore. The more you throw off while you run the faster you get the longer you go. I also like the word "withholds" like it is holding us down but we don't want that. I think of that word as a strong word because it is one that you don't hear very often. We are throwing everything off that is withholding us down from finishing that race towards Christ.
-Point #4
-Seek the Light in the midst of the darkness.
-Sometimes it's the simplest things that get you like the small words from the Bible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I also like the verses 9-13 in John because it gives a promise to all that believe in Christ. If we seek the Light and receive it, then we will be given the right to become Children of God (Light). Not everyone will see the Light. They will be given the chance to see it but they will be blinded by it. Jesus went to his own people and he was even in the world but those people didn't see Him for who He really was. The people who did see Him was born again and that is when we become the Children of God. I LOVE THAT PROMISE! It is a promise of Hope. A Promise that if we believe then we will receive something that isn't meant to be ours. God Loves us that much that He is willing to give us a promise that is full of grace like that.
-"The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-John 1:4-13
-"In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.
9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-Point #1
-To Seek the Light we must know the Light and who He is.
-Point #2
-Stop overanalyzing your sin so much that you forget to see the Light.
-I really like this point #2 because I overanalyze things so much even my sins. I could be and am usually thinking about how I messed up through a certain situation and then I try so hard not to mess another situation up by doing it again. There is a fine balance about thinking about your sins a little bit and then overanalyzing them. It could get to where I am really hard on myself at times and that stresses me out and just runs out into my life and makes it not look so good towards other people. If I can focus on the Light, then things would be brighter and easier because I know that I am never by myself. The Light will get me through the situation, not myself.
-Point #3
-To seek the Light we must rid ourselves of everything that withholds us from seeking the Light.
-Does it help me to run towards Jesus?
-Fix our eyes on Jesus, while throwing off the sins.
-I love this point, also, because it just reminds me that we need to get rid of everything bad to see Jesus. The verse that the preacher used to explain this point was the verse about running towards Christ. For me, that is a good verse because I totally understand the running part and keeping your eye focused on the end goal. I also just love seeing the picture of me throwing things off like my sins while I am running towards Christ. It is really a relief when you can throw things off of you while running and it does make you go faster. It gives you the sense that you are not being held down anymore. The more you throw off while you run the faster you get the longer you go. I also like the word "withholds" like it is holding us down but we don't want that. I think of that word as a strong word because it is one that you don't hear very often. We are throwing everything off that is withholding us down from finishing that race towards Christ.
-Point #4
-Seek the Light in the midst of the darkness.
-Sometimes it's the simplest things that get you like the small words from the Bible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I also like the verses 9-13 in John because it gives a promise to all that believe in Christ. If we seek the Light and receive it, then we will be given the right to become Children of God (Light). Not everyone will see the Light. They will be given the chance to see it but they will be blinded by it. Jesus went to his own people and he was even in the world but those people didn't see Him for who He really was. The people who did see Him was born again and that is when we become the Children of God. I LOVE THAT PROMISE! It is a promise of Hope. A Promise that if we believe then we will receive something that isn't meant to be ours. God Loves us that much that He is willing to give us a promise that is full of grace like that.
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