Give Up or God-Up

Not rendering correctly? View this email as a web page here.

Give Up or God-Up TRACIE MILES

September 29, 2017

“Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up.” 2 Corinthians 4:1 (NLT) Problems kept piling up — many of which I had no power or resources to resolve. I was perpetually living in survival mode and found myself simply spent.  One morning, after another set of seemingly hopeless issues reared their ugly heads, tears began to roll. I let out a heavy sigh and in a quivering voice spoke out loud, “God, I literally don’t think I can take anymore.” Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’re a single parent, like me, and financial worries coupled with the emotional weight of parenting and being alone feels overwhelming …  Maybe you try to live frugally, yet money never seems to stretch far enough … Maybe you’re unhappy at your job, but no other opportunities have arisen … Maybe your heart longs for a husband, but you’re tired of the dating game …  Maybe you feel unloved or betrayed by someone close to you, and nothing seems to improve no matter how hard you pray … Maybe your circumstances feel out-of-control and change seems hopeless …  The day I said “I can’t take this anymore,” I felt like giving up. Maybe you’ve felt that way, too.  But upon uttering those words and admitting my weakness, I felt a nudge to my spirit. I knew I needed to focus on God instead of my circumstances and worries. I needed to refocus on what He had done in my life, rather than what He had not yet done. I needed to believe instead of doubt Him, and place my trust in the only One who actually could fix things. As I intentionally adjusted my focus, hope and peace slowly returned. Faith alone helped me to God-up instead of give up. Not because I had the strength to do so, but because I had God’s strength within me which pushed me forward in faith, just like the apostle Paul. In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul encouraged the church at Corinth not to give up. He reminded the people they each held a treasure in their heart — the spirit of God — which was the sole reason they could persevere when they felt like quitting in the face of adversities, especially when it came to defending the gospel.  Second Corinthians 4:1 says, “Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up.” We see proof that although he stumbled, Paul consistently focused on God. The “new way” he referenced meant we don’t have to follow endless laws like in the Old Testament, because we have His spirit within us since Jesus died on the cross. Instead, we can enjoy the gifts of grace, mercy, hope and strength.  We read throughout Scripture that every time Paul wanted to give up, he chose to God-up instead. He chose to depend on God’s power and strength instead of his own. Paul’s faith equipped and inspired him to keep going to God, despite earthly, common-sense reasons to quit. Over his lifetime, Paul suffered greatly: He was imprisoned, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, chased mercilessly by enemies, and lived fearfully in caves.  He suffered mental and spiritual exhaustion in addition to physical pain, hunger, thirst and difficult living conditions. That’s enough to make anyone want to give up! Yet despite his weakest moments, he never did.  The choices Paul made each day to God-up instead of give up filled him with strength and perseverance he could have never found on his own.  Maybe for reasons only you and God know, you’ve found yourself saying “I can’t take anymore,” too. Maybe giving up hope about that difficult situation, problem or relationship seems easier than hanging on to it. It’s okay. Everyone struggles with those thoughts and feelings at times. But like Paul, the moment we catch ourselves feeling that way we can choose to give up or God-up. We can let our thoughts and feelings deplete us of strength, hope and joy, or we can lean fully into God and ask for Him to carry us in our weakest moments.  When we God-up, instead of give up, God will always show up.  Lord, I’m tired. And I really do secretly want to give up. Please fill my heart with peace. Help me see You at work in the situations in my life and trust You are in control. Replace my hopelessness with happiness in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” (NLT)

A Prayer for God

 I wrote this prayer down last night after the Bible Study. The ideas are from the Bible study called "Proven" by Jennie Allen. Here is the prayer:


              Dear Daddy,

                      I need to create more the God given experiences around myself for other people to see. I need to chose to enjoy the people, children, and all kinds of work around me everyday. I need and want to lay this life down and live for the next. I need to be reminded that You are fully available. Thank you so much for being and letting me see You as the "Preparer". That's the full focus I need right now. I need to receive Your Gifts as You prepare them for me in Your Timing. I need to know and trust that I did all that I could during the day everyday. I need to have peace at the end of the day. I just need You to over flow in me that I never knew before. Things might be hard in this world but once we get to where we are going it will be a nice rest for sure. It will also be worth it. Please help me to drink that new wine everyday when I wake up and get ready for the day ahead of me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

Jesus-The Great Physician

           I have started to look at Jesus in another way lately. I should have looked at Him in that way a long time ago. My life might be just a little better off if I did. The way I have started to look at Him is as "The Great Physician". That title came to me when I was at a Drs. Appointment earlier on this month.
         I was honestly listening to everything the doctor was saying to me but in my mind it didn't make sense. He went on about the meds. I was "supposely" taking and if we needed to up it in the winter months let him know. Then he also went on again about how Important excise was while on the meds. He wanted me to join a gym and do some weights and things like that.
         There are a lot of things wrong with those comments. One: I am not taking the meds. Anymore. I am on Plexus and more natural pills. Two: I know I need to eat right for me. I usually live the cheap lifestyle. Three: it's not my brain but it is my gut. I firmly and truly believe that. Four: I don't have the money for a gym membership right now. Last: I am also using oils. Three different kinds of oils. They are peppermint, lemon, and lavender and I use them while I am going to sleep at night.
           It is kind of like I am taking care of myself. I have all of these ideas around me but I pick out the best ones for me. Since being off of my anxiety meds. For about 3 months now, I feel happier and healthier. It is like I have the wisdom to know what to do and when to do them. Even though, as I am writing this right now, I have a major headache and have no idea why but that doesn't matter. It is really strange because it is like I am getting the wisdom from Jesus. He is putting the people and choices in my path that I need to take and make. He is giving me the strength to get through each day while I am trying out new things. I will tell you that when you switch pills, it takes your body time to get use to them and there could be some side effects. 

           Yet while, I am trying all of these different things, I have never given up on prayer. The more I see that I need it, the more I do it. That is really the best medicine when everything comes down to it. I will say that the pills and things that I buy sometimes are experience but they work and are healthier for me then the pills the drs. give me. I would rather pay for something that is natural and costs a lot. Then something that is just full of chemicals and cost a lot more. My health, lately, has been a journey and still is in a way. I am still trying to find and stick to the diet that is good for my body and that I can make and afford at this moment in my life. I'm trying to eat balanced meals and cut out on the coffees and candy and other unhealthy stuff. 

          I am trying to eat things with more probiotics in them like yogurt and all the fermented foods I can like pickles. I am also trying to eat more fresh veggies and fruits. It is funny too because I got a library card at the start of last year to check out books for the children where I work so I could read them some books but lately I have been checking out healthier cookbooks and books about having a healthier gut just for me. It is all about clean eating. I even made an amazon list on my own account of the cookbooks and books I wanted to buy when I have the money. It was just strange because when I was at that certain drs. appointment, the light came on. 

         It was like the drs didn't know anything about me but Jesus knew exactly what I needed to get through each day. Jesus knew exactly what I needed for my own body and He lead me to those things and still is today. I am defiantly learning about will power and self discipline through all of this.  I never once thought of me of being that organic type but if I had to put me under a food group that is the group I would put me under. I know from growing up and now that that is the best way to live. I hope this makes sense because I am writing it while my head is hurting like I said a little while back.               

         I can add another name to my list of what Jesus is to me. He is my Love, Daddy, Provider, Rest, Peace, and Great Physician. 

Life of Numbness

Matthew 11:28-30The Message (MSG)

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John 7:37-38New International Version (NIV)

37 On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaiah 43:18-19New International Version (NIV)

18 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeremiah 2:13New International Version (NIV)

13 “My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
    the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


          I found these verses at the front of my lunch time Bible study during the first week of the study. I really like what all 3 of them says. The verses reminds us that we can have rest in Jesus and that if we mess up He will make things new again. I even painted the 1st verse on a wooden cross that I could hang up in my bedroom. I had to summarize it because not all of the verse would fit on the cross I bought but I still get the point. I know this is a strange way to start an entry but I really don't know what to say. 
           I mean God has been speaking to me a lot lately about things. Things like REAL rest in Him and just having that Joy in Him in my life plus waking up from the "numbness" state of mind and life. He is showing me to trust in Him by showing me his miracles. That is another entry coming soon. It was funny because these 3 verses came to me, aka we had the first Bible study, when things were getting hard at work. When we found out that our newest person quit. When we just got everything that we asked for in. When we just had everything like we wanted, then everything fell apart. 
             That was two weeks ago. Then last week was just a totally mess for me at work and that is when we went over this study as a group. I felt like I was getting hit from both sides and all sides. I had people telling on me, my children were just crazy, and other personal things I was fighting on top of that all. This school year hasn't been a year where I can rest at all especially being the 2nd in charge and the accountable one. I had to bring myself down a lot these past two weeks and these verses helped me to do just that. 
             Like I said the 1st one helped me to rest in God and just to remember to trust in Him. The 2nd verse was just a reminder to me that even if the past is not looking at yesterday but moving on to tomorrow then that is a great way to look at it. I had a lot of negative comments that I just had to look past and move on through. I also had to keep reminding myself a lot that even though things are hard now, God is getting me ready for something bigger and better in the future. He is clearing the wastelands and making streams of living water for me to go through. 
             Then the 3rd verse, I think, is my new favorite or at least my favorite til this Bible study is over so it is my Fall favorite. I just love how it explains us, as humans and sinners. We are so broken that we do let things of this world come out of us even when we know better not to. We have dugged so deep that sometimes we think we can't go back to God but we are wrong once again. We can always go back to the One that gives us that Living Water and heals us when we need it. God can fix our cracks and dents and then fill us back up again with His Word. 
             Took me til this past Friday to fill that way but I will also admit something. I probably prayed 2 or 3 times this week if that. Might have been once or twice. You know what I could tell a difference in my day to day life. Those nights that I did pray, which were at the end of the week, my week got better. Strange how that happens, huh? I was just to a point where I had enough and I couldn't take any of my own self anymore so I turned to God for that Living Water. I know I am not the only one that does that. We all do it one time or another. I know I kept thinking that I needed to talk to God and things like that through out the week but I was just too tried or upset at the things going on around me that I went straight to sleep when really I should have stayed up and prayed for a bit. 
              I know I haven't said much about this title so I will for my last paragraph. I got the "Numbness" idea from my Bible study. The author that wrote it said there could be times in our lives where we feel nothing at all and that is called "numbness". I had never thought about it that way before until now. I can't tell you how many times I have felt so numb for so long and I would try anything but getting into the Word to try and fix it. I could even say that at the start of this past week I did feel that way, Numb, but things turned around for me when I started talking to God again. 
            Funny thing too is that that numbness broke when I cried during my small group Bible study on Weds. night. Right in the middle of the week. It also took a new but bad experience at work for me to realize that numbness I had. Living a life of Numbness is not worth it all at, whether it is a week or years, it's not worth it. You lose way too much when you are in that numbness state of mind. I know I lost a lot this week and I honestly can say that I could have acted a lot better then I do in some situations but I didn't realize that til now after the numbness was gone. 

             One more thing too is that: those verses at the top of the entry are about how not to have a "numbing" life. They are about how to rest in God but yet still live in Him at the same time. Yes, there is a way. 

Love Through God's Eyes

Love and Hatred for Fellow Believers

7 Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard.8 Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.

9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister[c] lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

Reasons for Writing

12 I am writing to you, dear children,
    because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
13 I am writing to you, fathers,
    because you know him who is from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young men,
    because you have overcome the evil one.

14 I write to you, dear children,
    because you know the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
    because you know him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
    because you are strong,
    and the word of God lives in you,
    and you have overcome the evil one.

-1 John 2:7-14-(NIV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

13-14 And a second reminder, dear children: You know the Father from personal experience. You veterans know the One who started it all; and you newcomers—such vitality and strength! God’s word is so steady in you. Your fellowship with God enables you to gain a victory over the Evil One.

-1 John 2:13-14-(MSG)

Being Around Children Never Gets Boring

            I have been in the childcare field for about 10 years. This calendar year (2017) has been full of surprises and new happenings for me. It seems so strange but it is really the first year I have dealt with elementary aged children for a whole year. Up til now I have taught or babysat infants and toddlers and it has been fun and a lot less injuries and mistakes. This calendar year I have had a school building window broken on my watch and now since this past week a broken arm on my watch. I know these things just happen because us teachers can't be everywhere at once but it still upsets me a little bit. Knowing my heart and my perfectionism, I hate it when I mess anything up especially a child or a school building.
           But having these experiences now will sort of make having my own children a little bit easier. I don't want to say that it will make it easier for sure because I don't know how that feels just yet but I have thought a lot about it this week. With a broken arm or a broken window, everything could go both ways. I'm glad I had the experience before I had children because now it might not be so bad because it isn't the first time that has happened to me, even though it is my child. Yet again, it is my child so it might be a little scary. I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said that little children especially boys do things that will injury themselves a lot. Looking back at all my nieces and nephews, it is true yet I never really thought about it.
            You do feel sorry for, say in my case right now, a niece or nephew but you feel even more bad for another child you are taking care of. When it is your child, you know you can't blame anyone else but yourself depending on where it happens. When a child gets hurt a school with you as the teacher. and with the parents these days, you never know how they are going to react against you. It just tends to scare you more as a teacher or care taker. Yet how my life is going right now, I am experiencing these things first so I won't be too surprised when it happens to my children. I mean the child this past week broke his arm because he was dared to jump out of a swing by a friend. Those children were just being typically boys. Now I know to expect that and things like that when I have my own boys.
            I should of expected it when I have been told over and over about my big brother jumping off the deck trying to be "Underdog". Children just want to fit in and use their imagination. We can't punish or do anything out of the blue with that. We can't even blame the teachers because they have no control of what children are thinking. They are learning right along with them at times. I mean every teacher told the boy that broken his arm over and over to not jump out of the swing but did he listen no. It could have happened on any teacher's watch. I was just the lucky one that it happened on. It will be really interesting when I have my own children. I mean I have been around children for 10 years and still don't have my own. I might be that tough it out mom because I have seen it all or at least will have by then if things keep going the way they are right now.
            The little boy was back Friday and yes he did break it at a 45 degree angle right below the elbow. He won't be at school Monday because he is going in to the drs. to either get a hard cast or see if he needs surgery. You know what, though, too. I should have know it might have broken. I mean if a little push could break a wrist bone then what could jumping out of the swing do to a child. Yes, I had my wrist broken because I was just pushed down on the living room floor and I was in 4th grade when that happened. This little boy is in 1st grade. My was sister teasing sister. It is about as bad as a friend daring another friend. Lesson learned early in the year for me. It has been a crazy year already and it just started. I am ready for it to end already. Is that bad?
              Anyways, I am surprised that I wrote a lot because this was just going to be a memory entry for me but turned out to be a lesson too. That is why it is so long or about the same length as all the others. The lesson is that: no matter how long you are around children, being around them never gets boring. There is always something you can learn from them and if you are not learning, you are on your toes watching their every move or at least trying to, at the very least. 

Choosing Between Two

          Choosing between two things, or in this case, two groups of people. It's hard because the group that you want to be a part of won't take you but another group will. That happens a lot with children espically elementary school aged where they are finding themselves. Of course, this one particular girl gets me this year. I can really tell when she's upset or just sad. It is a gift I have if you must call it something.
         I want to help and I do some days but other days I just stand back and observe. I can't do it for the child every time. They need to learn on their own too. Some days the child picks the right group to be with and other days she just gets all crazy and picks another group. It is like she has her grown up days and her childish days. She can be both and I love that about her but at the same time I think and hope that she will grow out of that way someday. It is never good to pretend to be someone who you are not. I know I am thinking too much about this little girl but I just hope and pray that I can do some good for her this year. You know get her in the right direction no matter how hard I have to be on her or how much I have to talk to her parents. 

         This entry was all going to be about that one girl but after what happened at work yesterday, I got to thinking about more things and this title just seemed to fit the things too. Like the little girl choosing between two group of friends, we, as adults, have to chose between things too. We might not like what our grown up friends chose or what we just for that moment in our lives but it is what is right for that moment. I am kind of choosing between two things too right now and I think that is why I get this little girl so well. I just wanted to cry yesterday after work and I did. The choice I have to make is do I care enough about my job to keep my professionalism in check or do I care enough about a friendship and dreams that I let up on my professionalism a little bit. When you act like two different people, it is is hard and it just gets harder with life.

          I swore to myself that I would never do it. I swore that my job would not become in front of my family, friends or people I cared about. I would always get mad the people who put their job before their friends but this year, I have to make a choice and it isn't easy. I thought it would be neat to work with someone else's child that was a friend of mine but it isn't, not in this situation. It is hard. It is hard because I feel like I have to prove myself over and over again. I feel like if I can't be good enough for the child then I'm not good enough for the family and vice via. Yesterday was the first day where I just couldn't handle things and things got out of control. I had no idea how to tell the parents. I had to chose my words wisely. If I was honest with myself right now, I still don't want my job to come in front of those that I care a lot about but that is all I have right now.

           I don't have the other things to worry about.  I shouldn't even be thinking about those things and people because I am a single girl living in a one bedroom apartment by myself that I need to pay rent for. I need the money but I hate having to live like and say that. I can't wait for the day when I can put family first. It is hard to live everyday like this too because you want to share your feelings with people and co-workers but they just don't get you or that is what you think at least. If that wasn't enough, trying to get your job taken from you is not easy either when things are going on. I'm in the middle of everything right now and I hope and pray that there is a way I can figure it out and be okay with and use to it but it is just taking time to get there. 

           It is another one of those times and lessons where God is showing me in all kinds of ways that you need to be careful what you ask for or even think about because someday you just might get it. He has been doing that a lot lately to me. Yet, He has also given me the point of view to where I can give other people grace about situations where they have to chose also. I know I haven't been very graceful or easygoing on that with some of my friends. I would always wonder why they would pick their dreams over me, how it was just so easy to do that, or how it seems so easy when really it isn't at all. There are scracifies that are made everyday just to be able to go to work. Still learning and praying but hoping I make the right one in the future. If I do, maybe God will reward me somehow. I mean He will in the long run but maybe He will reward me in the short and long run. :)  

Wrestling with God

           I have started a book called "Daring to Hope" by Katie Davis-Majors. I am reading it slow because there is a lot to think about in and from that book. She jumps right in to the real stuff. When I say that, I mean she gets to the point. The 2nd chapter is called "Wrestling with God" and it has a lot to think about or it did for me at least. It made me think how I wrestle with God from time to time. We all do. It is in our sinful nature. When I was reading this chapter, I was wrestling with an actual season but from time to time I wrestle with a lot of different things.
             When I was reading this chapter a couple of weeks ago, I was wrestling with God about it being almost deer season. Now I know that might seem a little funny but when it is a thing one of your friends focuses on all year, it can be something to wrestle with. I also wrestle with it because not only does my friend focus most of his energy on it, it is also his dream that's another reason why. I didn't realize this until I read the chapter and the verses Katie put in that chapter.
            The verses were:

                           24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. "

-Genesis 32:24-31

            In these verses, God gave Jacob a new identity and a new job. God blessed Jacob there after they were done struggling with each other. I think God just needed to see how long Jacob would hold on and trust Him with what He was given to Jacob. God saw that He couldn't win with Jacob so He went ahead and gave him some blessings but out without hurting Him a little bit to where he would have to limp about for a little bit. Jacob held on so tight that God had to bless him with something and He did. It was a little thing at first but it became bigger and the most important thing in all of the world. Jacob was happy with that little name change because He trusted God and knew He was going to do something big with it. 

            It is hard to struggle with the little things and not see the bigger picture for the future but if we could do that then we wouldn't need God in our lives. If we were honest with ourselves. I know another thing that I wrestle with God with is my singleness. There are times that I just get so bored and have no idea what to do but yet it is a blessing in my life to be single for as long as I have. I wouldn't have the experience that I do now. I wouldn't be the person that I am now. In the end, God just wants me to have a perfect marriage or as perfect as two humans living together can get and understand what to do when it isn't so perfect. I know right now He is showing me what it will be like to have my own children someday. 

          I am fine and dandy with my singleness one day, not wanting to put up or spend money on anyone else but me. Then there are other days, I just need that other person to comfort me and tell me how great I am. Singleness is probably the worst fight to have with God because honestly it never stops married or not. I also know that I have struggled through job choices with God by just getting through certain jobs and not loving them. Another big one for me, that as happened in the past, is just church. Am I going to the right one? Should I stay at the church I am going to right now? Even with church services, I fought with God until I felt okay with going to another service. 

           When we stop to really think about our wrestling times with God, was it really worth it? Did we get our way and like it? Did God still do His thing and we found out we liked it a lot better then our way would have been? It is in those wrestling with God times that makes us so sleepy and upset. It is like nothing is right with the world when we are wrestling. Why do we go back and do that with God with every little thing in our life? Why can't we just let go like Jacob did when God has blessed us with one little thing and see what happens from there on out? Just lately, I wrestled with God about having certain children in my group but after reading the chapter, I decided that I was just going to take that in. I was just going to have fun with the children and whatever happens, happens. 

             We don't need to wrestle with God and try to figure out every little detail. We just need to get a little bit of the story that He is willing to give us from time to time and continue trusting Him with the rest of the story because His Timing for everything is prefect. I still don't understand everything that is going in my life right now and probably won't for a year but I'm not going to waste time wrestling with God. I am going to use that time to make the difference that I can and learn things too. God puts things and people in our lives to teach us things if we would take the time to see them and appreciate them. That is one lesson that God is teaching me right now. You can learn a lot about a person by knowing another person, whether young or old or in between. 

Moral of the entry: 

"Don't wrestle with God because in the end you won't win." "God always has something better for you then you could ever think of."