Wrestling with God

           I have started a book called "Daring to Hope" by Katie Davis-Majors. I am reading it slow because there is a lot to think about in and from that book. She jumps right in to the real stuff. When I say that, I mean she gets to the point. The 2nd chapter is called "Wrestling with God" and it has a lot to think about or it did for me at least. It made me think how I wrestle with God from time to time. We all do. It is in our sinful nature. When I was reading this chapter, I was wrestling with an actual season but from time to time I wrestle with a lot of different things.
             When I was reading this chapter a couple of weeks ago, I was wrestling with God about it being almost deer season. Now I know that might seem a little funny but when it is a thing one of your friends focuses on all year, it can be something to wrestle with. I also wrestle with it because not only does my friend focus most of his energy on it, it is also his dream that's another reason why. I didn't realize this until I read the chapter and the verses Katie put in that chapter.
            The verses were:

                           24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. "

-Genesis 32:24-31

            In these verses, God gave Jacob a new identity and a new job. God blessed Jacob there after they were done struggling with each other. I think God just needed to see how long Jacob would hold on and trust Him with what He was given to Jacob. God saw that He couldn't win with Jacob so He went ahead and gave him some blessings but out without hurting Him a little bit to where he would have to limp about for a little bit. Jacob held on so tight that God had to bless him with something and He did. It was a little thing at first but it became bigger and the most important thing in all of the world. Jacob was happy with that little name change because He trusted God and knew He was going to do something big with it. 

            It is hard to struggle with the little things and not see the bigger picture for the future but if we could do that then we wouldn't need God in our lives. If we were honest with ourselves. I know another thing that I wrestle with God with is my singleness. There are times that I just get so bored and have no idea what to do but yet it is a blessing in my life to be single for as long as I have. I wouldn't have the experience that I do now. I wouldn't be the person that I am now. In the end, God just wants me to have a perfect marriage or as perfect as two humans living together can get and understand what to do when it isn't so perfect. I know right now He is showing me what it will be like to have my own children someday. 

          I am fine and dandy with my singleness one day, not wanting to put up or spend money on anyone else but me. Then there are other days, I just need that other person to comfort me and tell me how great I am. Singleness is probably the worst fight to have with God because honestly it never stops married or not. I also know that I have struggled through job choices with God by just getting through certain jobs and not loving them. Another big one for me, that as happened in the past, is just church. Am I going to the right one? Should I stay at the church I am going to right now? Even with church services, I fought with God until I felt okay with going to another service. 

           When we stop to really think about our wrestling times with God, was it really worth it? Did we get our way and like it? Did God still do His thing and we found out we liked it a lot better then our way would have been? It is in those wrestling with God times that makes us so sleepy and upset. It is like nothing is right with the world when we are wrestling. Why do we go back and do that with God with every little thing in our life? Why can't we just let go like Jacob did when God has blessed us with one little thing and see what happens from there on out? Just lately, I wrestled with God about having certain children in my group but after reading the chapter, I decided that I was just going to take that in. I was just going to have fun with the children and whatever happens, happens. 

             We don't need to wrestle with God and try to figure out every little detail. We just need to get a little bit of the story that He is willing to give us from time to time and continue trusting Him with the rest of the story because His Timing for everything is prefect. I still don't understand everything that is going in my life right now and probably won't for a year but I'm not going to waste time wrestling with God. I am going to use that time to make the difference that I can and learn things too. God puts things and people in our lives to teach us things if we would take the time to see them and appreciate them. That is one lesson that God is teaching me right now. You can learn a lot about a person by knowing another person, whether young or old or in between. 

Moral of the entry: 

"Don't wrestle with God because in the end you won't win." "God always has something better for you then you could ever think of."