Did I "Bloom" During 2020?

         2020 was a hard year for most of us. It was the year of the COVID sickness. It was the year of staying home. It was the year of doing everything virtual. It was also the year of staying away from people and wearing masks. Yet I am trying to look at how I bloomed during this hard year and I know of some of the ways that I have. This year might have been hard but I have bloomed so much at the same time during this year and got to do things I would never have gotten to do. I am looking how I bloomed because "bloom" was my word of the year this year. It is strange because we all had to bloom in a lot of different ways. Strange how God works sometimes, huh?

            Here are some of the things that come right to mind when I think of blooming in 2020:

-Got a new job.

- I made closer friends at work.

- I connected with some of the kids that I thought    I wouldn't at the start of the year.

-Been through 3 directors at work.

- Got to know how my job works.

- Got to spend a lot of time with my family like 2 or 3 whole months.

-Started a new church.

-My dad is making it through his exchanges.

-Started a new hobby like woodburning.

-Also, tried to do some more Bible journaling.

-Knowing that I am at least changing one kid's         life at work.

-My relationship got stronger because of the Bible study classes we took and the questions that were asked.

-I am not scared of doing online videos anymore. Although, I still don't like hearing myself on them.

- I started a new side job selling nails.

         So in many little ways, I have bloomed in 2020, even with this COVID sickness all around me. I think it might have even helped me a little though.

Christmas 2020

         I actually wrote this entery down in a notebook about a week ago but I. Just now getting the chance to write it here. I was so down in the dumps this December because of everything going on but after writing this out (aka my feelings), I felt better and wanted to do a lot more things like wrap more presents and bake a lot. It was like once I let things leave my shoulders, I could feel Christmasy again. That's a feeling that should never leave me. Anyways, here is what I wrote in my notebook:

               It is a very strange Christmas/December for me. The strangest thing is I don't feel like I should this time of year. Doesn't feel right to me. Now since I can remember, Christmas has been my favorite holiday and still is. I call myself the Christmas baby but that has another story behind it. I love shopping, giving gifts, sending cards, family and friends, and teaching Christmas to my kids. I went into this December with all kinds of plans for family and class but none of them are happening right. I try to dress up for my kids but that's hard when they aren't crazy or even know about Christmas. I got one child out of 7 that gets excited about what I do and wear. No presents from the parents. I know that's not important but still would be nice. At least a card. Is that too much to ask? Two weeks out for COVID. A snow day right before. I really didn't make a list of what I wanted either. Didn't have time to think about that. 

             We have got Christmas all wrong. It's not about the things or what we do. I see that now. I haven't even got to see so many lights. Don't have the want. Seeing it at age almost 33. I see how right the Grinch was. I see how the 1st Christmas was for Mary and Joseph. It's kind of hard to explain but it's different. It's not About the gifts but the feelings you have around that time or should have. Not having has many kids in the class or has many family members coming back home. Not wanting to shop and look around because of the masks. No time to think. You know so many lives were lost this year and so many in the hospital for so many things. Always on edge because of the sickness. Just day to day living not any planning. New job for me. Not knowing what to plan or can't. 

               Yet one this stays the same through it all. JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! He is still coming and had came! He was born to take this all away. That Christmas star was God's Promise to us that everything is in His Hands still and will turn out for His Good. Nothing is more perfect for Jesus then this year to show us a miracle after it all. Kind of makes you wonder what does He have up His sleeve. 

               There you wonder why my December doesn't feel Christmasy. All this was on my heart and mind. Hopefully, it will be a little better now that I got it out and down on paper. Thanks for listening and I hope your Christmas is one to remember even during the hard times. 

My Christmas Prayer

The snow is falling as I make my way back home.
I feel so grateful I have somewhere I can go.
But in troubled times like these,
with all the ones in need, its Christmas time,
so ,Jesus, I'm before you on my knees.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where there's despair)
Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

I pray that I become what you would have me be.
That I would give as much as you have given me.
In a world that's torn apart, heal the hatred in our hearts.
Its Christmas time and there's no better time for us to start.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where theres despair)
Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Lord, hear our prayer.

We pray for joy.
We pray for peace, from the west unto the east.
And that every man may find someone to love. (find someone to love)
We pray for strength.
We pray for light.
And on this holiest of nights, deliver hope where there's despair. (hope where theresdespair)
And that our voices fell the air
A Merry Christmas everywhere
Well, Jesus, hear our Christmas prayer.

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I would listen to this song every Christmas because it is one of my all-time favorites from a Christian boy band I liked in the high school. I would always think about just me and where I was in life when I listened to it but like everything else this year that's different. I can't think of myself when I hear the song anymore. It is definitely not just a Christmas prayer but an everyday prayer that we need to be praying every day right now. In this moment and in this world we need to be praying this exact prayer. It's funny how they are not a group anymore but they were right on back in the 2000s. Christmas will look different for so many by missing family, by not going where they usually go for Christmas, and honestly it shouldn't. It's Christmas. The best holiday of the year. The holiday of love.

Three Different Behaviors: Which One Are You?

This was the sermon from last Sunday at my church. Here are 3 different behaviors for people from the book of Proverbs:

-Wise

-Foolish

-Evil.

I am going to tell you some characteristics of those three behaviors. First is the WISE.

-"Wise people seek wisdom."

-"The wise person sees the light, takes it in, and make adjustments."-Henry Cloud

-Traits of the WISE

           -listens to feedback

           -say thank you

          -own their mistakes

          -won't repeat problems

          -relationships are strengthened through instruction

           -Feeling: Remorse

The next behavior I am going to tell you about is the FOOLISH kind.

-"The fool tries to adjust the truth so he/she doesn't have to adjust to the truth."-Henry Cloud

-Traits of a FOOL:

            -Give excuses

            -Takes no feedback

            -shifts the blame

            -Feeling: lots of rage

-The FOOL wants more affirmation.

-How to correct the fool:

             -Truth and consequences

The last behavior I am going to talk about is EVIL.

-"The EVIL responds to the door."

-Traits of EVIL:

         -conspire at feedback

         -Feeling: rage into revenge

-How to correct EVIL:

           -Speration 

Proverbs 1:24-28 are the verses for this year. For 2020. They explain perfectly what it has been like. Yet Proverbs 1:29-30 should be out response to it. We should be wise and ask for forgiveness and repent as a nation. 

Let's be the WISE Nation and ask for forgiveness and repentance! 

Election 2020 Personal Prayer

          I might get a lot of hate because I am writing this but I don't care. You don't know me so you can't judge me and of you know me you won't judge me. 

Prayer:

         Dear Daddy,

                 So election day 2020 is finally over! Can we get back to normal now instead of worse? I've never been more scared or interested in the election then this year. Lord, I do agree that we need You though really bad. Please sweep through this nation and heal this land. Calm every mind and body tonight. Restore our strength so we can start anew. Renew our minds. Cast out anything that's not of You. Please lead our President whoever he may be. He is human too. People forget that sometimes. Lead us back to rightousness again. Makes us the strong country again with people who love no matter what. Heal broken families. Feed the pour. Take away the drugs. Take away the sins. Care for the children. Bring us together again. We are all humans with feelings. Red, yellow, black or white put us together and start with me again. Right where I am at because I know I could be used right there. You put us in places for reasons we don't understand at times but you have your reasons. Just show us the way.

In Jesus' name, 

Amen

And So It Happened

              I have been at home for 2 weeks now because a child at my job tested positive for Covid-19 so we had to shut the place down. During those two weeks, I have been doing virtual learning with my children. I don't like teaching virtual because I can't see the kids and make them do the things I want them to do. I know that sounds bad but I'm just worried that they're not learning like they should be.

             I'm also worried about how their home life is while they're at home. I think most of my kids are doing pretty good but I just wish they would get on or I would get a response from the parents of some kind. Last Friday I did a live circle time and I only had one kid show up to it. I had to tape it and send it by email to the rest of the kids. I have also heard from two,out of my three, kids. Then my co-teacher has heard from two out of three of her kids. 

              There are some parents that I still haven't heard from and that really discourages me. I just hope they are doing okay. And I've learned during these two weeks that the families like texts better and they like email or calling. If this is the way learning is going to be from now, I don't know if I can stand it. I know even if I touch one kid that's something but it is still discouraging at the same time and frustrating. 

               Virtual learning is also hard when you are thrown into it and no one shows you what to do or tells you how to get ready for it. It would be so much easier if I had the paperwork that I need to do it but no one told me until it was too late. I am getting the hang of it though. While doing vitual learning at home, I also got some housework done by organizing things that needed to be organized so that's good. It is the end of the two weeks and now I am bored out of my mind because I can think of anything else to do.

                I've sent out everything that I'm supposed to send out. I have got the lesson plans ready for the next month. I could print stuff off and get that stuff ready but I don't have a printer at home so now I'm just kind of stuck at home watching TV. Virtual learning is fine for a while but doing it all year or for a long period of time, I don't know how students or parents can handle it.

               I just know that I cannot so I hope it does not happen again. I also hope we will be done with all of this stuff soon. It would definitely be a new generation of learners if we have to keep going virtually. The world will definitely turn to something else when these virtual kindergarteners grows into adults. It is just crazy but that is just my opinion too. I will go before I get on my soapbox. I just wanted to write down what was going on these past two weeks that we had to shut down because of the virus.

Change-Good or Bad?

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

-Hebrews 13:8

"Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead."

-Philippians 3: 13 b

"For It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."

-Philippians 2:13

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            I cannot help but have these words find my friend long ago still ring in my ears.

            "It's good that we all changing/growing because if we weren't God can it work in us."so in that case change is good. And change is also good because Jesus is always the same so nothing really changes there. There's no change. He is always the same so why not think about that doing changes and you might not even notice the change.

             But what if the change is good and you do want to notice it? I mean changes from someone passing to changing styles to teach kids? How do you know when to remember the change and when not to? I think we remember whether or not we want to. It's not up to us. I know I've remembered some of the changes because of the life lessons I've learned from them. Here are just some to name a few:

-passing of grandparents

-losing or changing jobs

-letting go of people

-this pandemic.

               Through all of them I have learned a little bit more about myself and became stronger which is a good change too. I guess when I think about a bad change it is about this pandemic mostly. When I say bad I mean bad as in can't go to church, kids at home learning online, people fighting and dying, and staying distant and no more hugging and oh yeah the masks where you see no smiles.

                 This year (2020) there has been more chains than I can take. It's always back and forth. Nothing is routine anymore. No one can make up their minds. Nothing is set and stone. I miss those days. I miss the normal I know and was born into. This is the biggest change I felt in my whole 32 years. If not the biggest, definitely the worst because it affects everyone not just a region or a place.

                 It could also be a lot of little changes in one big change. I don't know how many little ones I've had in this pandemic yet one thing still remains the same and that is Jesus. So I still don't know if it changes good or bad. There is one thing I know though and that is God is still the same through everything. He is teaching me this for a reason but I'm still not quite sure what that reason is yet. I just know that I have to get ease to change whether it is good or bad because each one weighs out the other. I've always noticed if a bad change comes along It is for a good reason or a good change follows it.

                 All this to say that things will change whether we want them to or not. We just have to remember that Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever. We also have to remember that we don't look back but to look forwards. I know it's tricky but if we can remember those two things we can get through the hard and bad changes.

Are We Really Better Off Now?

           The title might sound like a political title but it's not. I'm writing this entry for myself so I can remember this feeling years from now. The USA has been on my mind lately especially since yesterday was 9/11. And just to the people know and in mind myself I was crying during writing this entry. Where has the unity of the America right after 9/11 gone today. I remember that as a country we were all together after the crashes.

               Even during the crashes, We were all watching it happen somewhere on TV or heard about it at least. It brought families, friends, neighbors, and all kinds of people together. I remember being in my 8th grade science class for watching the TV when this happened. I remember my dad, the superintendent, coming in the classroom and telling my science teacher about the first plane hitting. That is when my teacher turned on the TV for us to watch. Then I think it was later that day or maybe not too long after I heard about the Pentagon being hit and that is when I started to worry about my brother because he was living close to DC at the time.

              Just to let you all know I am I'm crying big time right now as I write this. That memory still gets me to this day. And it is worse this year because of how us Americans have acted out of hate and greed and differences. How can we forget the feelings of 9/12? The feelings of everyone just wanting to be at home, just people wanting to see people they haven't seen in forever, and so on. I'm going to say something that I might get hated for but to me it's how I see it. I'm not trying to dislike on anyone but this is how I see everything that's going on right now in today's world.

                We were United those 19 years ago. Now it is clear that we are not and that just breaks my heart. Here we are fighting against what some people will say a silent killer from maybe someone else or who knows. I'm not going into from where but it is a silent killer and as I see America right now it is torn upon and not helping neighbors, friends, families, and so on. This America today 19 years after 9/11 is watching out for themselves. We are fighting against each other. Thinking one is better than any other. Having all these rules. Staying home. Staying our distance. No more hugging. No more hospitality. No more unity. It just kills me that I am living in a world that is like that now.

                We passed, as a nation, 9/11 not talking to people, staying distance, wearing masks, not wanting to go to restaurants, not wanting to hang out, and not wanting to go to church but watch it on TV, because we are all a scared bunch of people that thinks about ourselves and not others. Yes, I know I'm going to get probably some dislikes and mean comments. 

                 "But if you really think about it 19 years ago something loud and devastating got our attention but yet here we are with a silent killer and all we can think about is me me me."

                 Shouldn't we be acting the same way today as we did 19 years ago? Shouldn't we be banding together as America instead of killing, fighting, and so on? Shouldn't we be checking on our neighbors? Shouldn't be calling on family members to see if they are okay and checking up on them? I'm not saying that I have done a very good job on all of that but at least I'm trying.

              And I'm sorry this is probably the strongest entry that I have ever wrote but it is true to me at least. And it is true all the way around no matter what political side you are on. I know people of all culture and background so coming from me it is not one-sided at all. Look at it and think about it and then you will understand.

Love Our Distance Neighbors Better

Love Better

-Loving the Diverse Neighbor

        -John 17:20-23

        -Gal. 5:13-15

        -Gen. 1:26-27

        -Acts 10:34-35

-God is showing me how to love Hispanics in AR, not just in their own country. 

-My mission field like I've always wanted. Now more then ever. Have that chance this year at Headstart. Few kids for now, all Hispanic. 

-God has me around at least one of every people group that I can love.

              -Hispanic

              -Singles

              -Homeless

              -Disabilties 

-Romans 15

-Live our distance neighbors better by:

            -In your diversity, live in Harmony.

            -Know your part in God's story.

            -Pary:

                  -"God, save more."

                  -"God, open doors."

                  -"God, send more."

Working Preschool Through and With COVID

                 I just got done with my first week of school at a preschool/headstart in 2020 with kids and it was hard at first but by the end of the week it got a little bit easier. I was so worried and anxious about how things were going to go. I think that is why the first couple of days were hard. I couldn't think about things normally like I know what and how to do them before this whole COVID because everything changed I had to rethink and retrain my mind. I had to remember all the things they trained us on weeks before through video chat. I mean how can you remember things that way. I know I can't. I am a visual learner. 

                  The major changes that the headstart where I worked at had to make were how the parents came in or didn't come in. Teachers had to wear masks all day even outside in the 90 degree weather for recess. We had to put our masks in a baby bottle drying containor while we ate breakfast, lunch and snack with the kids. We couldn't ever family style meals anymore. The teachers have to serve the children.  Parents didn't understand at all how they should pick up their child because none of them would get on video for a open house the week before. They had to stay at the front door at drop off and pick up. We had two children drop right before we started like the Friday before. We had to do vitual learning on Fridays for 10 children so I was worried about that too. 

                 Parents have 15 mins for drop off and pick up and if they are late at all the child can't come to school that day. They have to stay in their car and the teachers go around and take the child's tempature, ask health questions and have the parents sign in. That is at drop off. Then we have to hold up a green sign and they can get out of their cars and line up on a red X. Then we take the children inside with us. At pick up, they just sign the child out and we have to call in on a walkie talkie and tell them that so and so is ready for their child. We are the only class that has to go to the front door. The other classroom have doors in their rooms that goes straight out to the parking lot. 

                 We had parents complain about little things like why do we have to stay in our cars, why are we taking their temps. and why can't we come in later. We also had parents that kept getting out of their cars and we had to remind them to stay in their cars. We have to take all the signs, clipboard, walkie talkies, papers, and gloves with us too. The children also get shorter times because we have to have time to walk to and from the front door. 

                  We had one child drop out because they just couldn't do all of this. We thought two more children were going to drop but they haven't yet. We now have 6 kids in the classroom and none vitual. We should have 20 children. 10 in class and 10 doing vitual but we have none doing vitual right now. Fridays are just teacher working days and days were we do vitual learning if we have children which we don't have yet. Now that is just getting and ending the day. That isn't even anything to do with during the day with the children. That is so strange too since we get out at 2:30 so we have a hour to really clean til 3:30. 

                  I feel like I can't get anything done in the classroom. There is no time for a long art project. Barely no time for naptime. The children get a hour and a half nap instead of a 2 hour nap time now and that is if they go to sleep right away, which we all know they don't. All I feel like they are doing are playing in centers, listening to books, and singing, which isn't bad but boring when that is all you do everyday. The day also goes by slower then I would like with only 6 children. We try to sing or do different movements when we are going outside and coming back inside. We read 2 or 3 books a day. We play in centers for about 3 hours a day. We do get calendar time in so we do some counting and letter learning there. We also watch an educational show before naptime like Sid the Science Kid or Wild Kratts. we also have recess for about a hour. I also try and fit in a question of the day like this week they were: What are your friend' name and do you know how to use a paintbrush. 

                  The days go by fast and we really can't do much but at least I am back with my children and have something to do instead of just sitting around home.I know I will look back on these days and enjoy them someday, the children part that is, but right now it's slow. I hope things will get better and  faster though.I know be careful for what I wish for but it's true to some point. I don't think I can do this the whole school year or for headstart the whole calendar year.  

                   

COVID-19 for Headstart/Daycares/Preschool

Here is what my headstart center is changing and doing so far: 

-10 out of 20 children in classroom

-other 10 children on computer

-hours changed 7:30-2:30 for children

-still 7:30-3:30 for teachers

-extra hour for teachers to clean

-4 days a week for children

-all week for teachers Friday without children for planning and AMI

-CPR training over the computer-teaching part

-Some will come later and do in person training with dolls

-doing art boxes for each child

-parents can't come in to drop off, using different doors then the front door

-teachers wearing masks all day even outside

-teachers can get written up for not wearing masks even when children aren't there 

-little containers to out masks in during lunch

-schudle change because hours have shorten

-break the room in half but children can go everywhere

-no more family style lunch

-parents have schudle times to drop off and pick up

- if parents are really late, can't let them in

-have to clean outside toys once a week

-one sibling sent home, other is not

What else is going to change in a short time?

Quotes About prayer

"Pray as if it depends on God, and work as it all depends on you."-pastor

"Prayer is profoundly simple, yet simply profound."-pastor

"After valleys come mountain tops. Keep working towards the mountain tops! It's worth it!- said by my Mom

How to be People of Peace during Hard Times

     Today's church sermon while listening online. 

          There are two roadblocks to Peace. They are: 

         -When noise drowns out wisdom.

                     -"It's time to TURN OFF the noise of the world, and TURN UP the wisdom of God." 

         -When Passion goes over principal.

                     -"Most of our fights are driven by our passions. War starts on the inside of a person and shows on the outside."

-James 1:7- the Wisdom of God.

-James 3:16- the wisdom of the world.

        There are 5 steps of how to be people of peace. Those 5 steps are in James and they are verses 7 and 8. Here are the 5 steps:

-Get out of the driver's sit.

-Silence the lies.

-Nuture your relationship with God.

-Remove the dirt.

-Realign your heart with God.

All this to say that we need to listen to the wisdom of God . That is how to live a life of principal!

Prayers of Jesus in Luke

          Jesus prayed a lot in Luke. He was teaching people to pray during that part of his ministry. He prayed for a lot of different things. He was lonely, for friends and mean people, to his Father, etc. He went to a place where He was alone to pray. He didn't want to show off. Here are 7 of His prayers from Luke: 

-"Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:15–16).

-"One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: Simon (whom he named Peter), his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called the Zealot, Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor."- (Luke 6:12–16).

-"Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them" (Hebrews 7:25).

-"Eight days later He took Peter, James and John and went up on the mountain to pray (9:28) and while praying He was transfigured (9:29).

-" One day Jesus was praying^(C) in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord,^(D) teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”

² He said to them, “When you pray, say:

“‘Father,^[a]
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom^(E) come.^[b]
3 Give us each day our daily bread.
⁴ Forgive us our sins,
    for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.^[c](F)
And lead us not into temptation."-Luke 11

-"Jesus prayed for Simon that his faith might not fail" (22:32).

- Only Luke tells us that Jesus prayed for His crucifiers (23:34) and committed His spirit into the hands of Father (23:46).

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

We need to learn to pray like Jesus! We need to pray for what Jesus prays for. We need to make it as important as Jesus did! 

Act with Peace, Love, and Faith

           I never had more of a confirmation then just now during my Bible study time. For a few days in a row, these past couple of weeks, all I could think to pray about was peace, love, compassion, and forgiveness. You might see a prayer or two on here about that. Well, God brought me to a Psalm that had three of those things in it. Now to me that is showing me that we really need those things in the world today. Here are those three things worded in the Bible:

-Peace-Psalm 61:2

-Steady Love-Psalm 61:7

-Good Faith.-Psalm 62:7

I've been praying for the Peace and the Love. Never thought about the Faith til now. I will throw this out there too. Psalm 61 talks about how we should handle it and how to pray for our leaders that are dealing with it now. Anyone that's dealing with it because we can pray these things for them. 

           Then I got to thinking about what other words can describe these words. I started thinking about Faith first because a lot of people don't understand that. So I looked up other words to describe that word plus the other two. This was my Bible study this morning. Here are the other words and I know they need to be heard and prayed. 

Faith:

-Hope

-Acceptance

-Trust

-Loyalty

-Conviction

Peace:

-Friendship

-Unity

-Truce

-Reconciliation 

-Love

Love:

-Yearning

-Tenderness

-Fondness

-Appreciation 

          Can you see this world in all these words or even one? If you don't agree with or be the one word I pick, that's okay. I think, at least, you can pick one you want to try and be. You can at least one pick from the 14 words. That's your challenge from me!

          All of the chapter is Psalm 61. I encourage you to read it all!

Are You a Pharisee or a Tax Collector?

June 10th, 2020

-All Lives Matter

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable:10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

 - Luke 18:9-14

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are a world full of "Pharisees". Everyone thinks they are better than the next person. Everyone is mad at everyone else. They are so confident in their own self that they can't see past that. If they were able to see past that, they would be humble and return home to God. Turn back to Love, Compassion, Peace, and Kindness. If we could humble ourselves to God then, just maybe, we could do more then we ever planned to. Yes, things need to change but there are other ways to bring about awearness. We also need to trust in God and in each other. Once we do those two things, we can bring awearness to anything or anybody but then again that is what I like. I like the peaceful type of fighting, not the loud type. 

How to Pray in a Time Like This?

"Pray the hardest, when it is the hardest to pray."

 

Facebook post-

 I am going to say something stronger on here then I usually do but it has nothing to do about politics or which side I am on so please take it into consideration. I know all my friends and family are smart and know me so they know where this is coming from. I am not trying to start anything. It is just my missionary heart speaking in this time of need for the world. Trust me I have been struggling with some of the same things and I am scared because of how close it hits home for me. I'm not too proud to say on Facebook that I have been crying a lot lately with things going on but that's me again. Here it is:

"Why can't I think how to pray? It's not the time to lose it. It's time to do it! How, Daddy, How? Is the world so messed up? That different from even a year ago? We all want Peace, Love, Forgiveness, and Compassion. So why won't we  just listen instead of fight. Why won't we show those things to one another? It is a give and take sort of thing. You get the things you give. If you give fighting, you will get that back. If you give peace, love, forgiveness, and compassion, you will get those things back. It is really simple when said but as actions it takes time and wanting to to do it. It doesn't come naturally. We have to make it happen." 

I am off my soapbox now and all that was written by me. Not copied from somewhere. Please no mean comments. Just promise me you will think about it.

Beautiful Diversity- A Poem

Beautiful Diversity

Beautiful Diversity is what makes the

World a beautiful place. It comes in

Many shapes, colors, and sizes. It is

Very unique. It never comes in the same 

Package. That's what makes it so

Beautiful.

 

Diversity is something that God does 

beautifully. He makes people in His image

Which is just beautiful. He makes us 

Different because that is needed in the 

World. Whether it is color, body ablities, 

And so forth. Everyone can do something!

That is beautiful diversity!

Beautiful Diversity is older people then

You because they have wisdom to pass

Down. They have been through things

That you are going through now. They 

Are also the gentler generation. They 

Have been through so much. More then

We could ever think of. Times are 

Different but we can still learn from them

In some way.

Diversity is something this world needs.

Can you just imagine if we were all the

Same race? Can you imagine if nature 

Was all the same race? It would be so

Borning. Each race brings different 

traditions and ideas to the world. I 

Mean some of the things we have today

Are because of different race ideas. 

That is beautiful diversity!

Beautiful Diversity is people with disabilities.

They have a heart that is gentle and 

Caring. What would we do without 

Those people? They seem to be the more 

Understanding type. They bring joy when

People have none. They also seem not

To have a care in the world about what

Other people think. We need a lot more 

Of those thinkers. 

Diversity is young people. How would

The older people learn new things? 

Where would the fun be? Young people

Means more people to figure things out.

We need that! Young people can also

Help out a lot! That is Beautiful diversity! 

Beautiful Diversity is shy people. They

Listen to people's problems. They

Care. They pay very close attention to

Things and are very detailed. They 

Are also very patience too. They get

Asked a lot, "why don't you talk?" 

Well, maybe it is because we need a 

Lot more listener then talkers. 

Diversity is what God made,

Not only in people but in all of His

Creations! It is beautiful!

It is one of His best ideas! We

Need diversity to live! I don't know 

About you but I don't want a boring

Life. Can you imagine life without 

Diversity? I can't! So enjoy it!

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: May 25th, 2020

The Sermon on the Plain vs. The Sermon on the Mount

Church Sermon notes from May 17th, 2020.

-Luke 6:17-26

-Why do we got to church?

           -We desire to be like Christ.

-Love is Christ!

          -1 Cor. 13

-What does a follower of Jesus look like?

               -Look at Chapter 6

-The Beatitudes

           -They are in Luke and Matthew in 2 different semons.

-The Sermon on the Plain

              -Luke 6

-The Sermon on the Mount

                - Matthew 5

-John 6:63

Did this open your eyes? Did you see how God wants us to act? It is so important! He goes over it more then one time.

            

Blessings vs. Woes

Sunday, May 24th Online Church Sermon Notes

Look up the verses and see if you can make sense and learn something from these church notes.

-Luke 6:17-26

-Luke 6:20

-Luke 6:24

-Psalm 1

        -Good then bad section by section pattern-aka poetic writing

-Duet. 28:1-8

          -Blessings are  the action, not feeling.

-Deut. 28:15-22

           -Woes are the actions, not feeling.

-Luke 6:20-23

           -Blessings are feelings/additudes

        

- Luke 6

         -Woes are feelings too. 

-Nothing can take away the blessings I have in Christ.

A Girl with Anxiety and COVID-19

           This is a story about a girl with anxiety and COVID-19. The girl had a hard time when the news about this sickness came out. She worked for a week without her kids and then she was done and on a break. A break would have been fine and she was so happy to get one but she is going on month two. She isn't really complaining. The first month out was fun because she got to spend it with her parents. She got to do crafts and baking with her mom. Her dad helped out her boyfriend. They both helped her dad with jobs outdoors. She totally forgot about the sickness. 

                But that is when she thought she was going back May 1st, now she isn't going back til June 1st. She has another month to just sit around the house. Yes, she still has crafts and writing and hobbies to do but you can only do so much in a row. She is also missing her kiddos. She is trying to do videos for them but she needs more ideas. She is feeling lost without her kiddos and a routine. She misses her routine. 

                Her anxiety is getting the best of her too. She is very emotional because again she has no routine or no plans. Everyone is talking about change and new norms after this sickness is over. How everything so going to change and stay changed for awhile. What gets her too is things are so overwhelming and confusing and there are too many rules. A mind that is anxious is very compelled to those things. She hates change because of her anxiety. She has always hated it.

                 But she has never had a change has big as now in her life. When you can't buy the things you need. When you cant go to church. When you can't see family for the holidays like Easter. It is hard for a girl with anxiety. Trying to keep up with all the changes too is crazy. She also can't keep up with which aisle in Wal Mart to go down the right way while she is thinking about what she needs. She also has to think about staying 6 ft away from people. Don't forget about not touching your face and washing your hands and wiping down the steering wheel in the car. 

                Sometimes this girl wonders if people really understands what she is going through. She might have people looking at her because she is going down the wrong way down an aisle. She can't help it, it is easier for her not to think. She cries because her mind is overwhelmed with things that she can't get out. She also feels so stuck right where she is and she hates that. She doesn't feel like her life is moving because she has to stay in and avoid people.

                She wishes she could look at the positive side of things but she can't because her anxiety is taking control again. When she felt like she just got over it before this all started. She is thankful for her boyfriend because if it wasn't for him, she would be more anxious and maybe even bored. She knows that she isn't the only one that feels like this. If she can get through this, anyone can. 

What Are You Rushing Back To?- A Poem

What Are You Rushing Back To?

What part of normal are you 

rushing back to? 

Are you rushing make just to 

make money? Are you rushing 

back because you are tried of

being at home? We are asking

these questions but these 

questions are not what we should 

be asking at all. 

Use this time to think about 

what is more important to 

rush back to and why.

It is more important to go 

get your nails done? Is it more 

important to go eat out? Is it 

more important to get you hair 

cut? Are those things more normal

to you? 

They might have been normal

to you before this whole virus

started. But have you consider 

these things while you were 

made to stay home? Are they 

still really that important to 

you or have your thoughts 

change since you have been 

home? Are there other things 

that you wish you could make 

normal again? 

Things like spending time 

with family members. Eating

around the dinner table. 

Having hobbies like painting

or reading. Spending more 

time with God. Teaching your

children the more important 

things in life like God, cooking,

crafts, and simple things like that.

Teaching them that it is okay 

not to have all those store brought

things to keep busy. They could 

go outside and play some. Know

that anyone could be gone at 

anytime so say "I love you" 

when you think about it and more.

Again I ask the question, "What 

are you rushing back to?" Is it 

things that you are barely getting 

by with or is it things that will 

matter in the future? That your 

kids and you could look back on

and laugh and smile about it. 

Are you returning to the normal

normal or are you returning to 

your new normal? The new normal 

you have learned about through 

all of this time. God is doing 

something. We just have to let 

Him have control. 

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: April 27, 2020 during the COVID-19

Turn Me Into A Minister- A Prayer

Dear Daddy,

            Turn me into a minister at heart. Keep opening people's heart around to hear You through me. I love talking scriptures with people. Talking about what You are teaching me through them. Let me pray with people too. That would seal the deal for me. Maybe I do need to say some prayers out loud? Be the example. Show people that they can just talk to You without knowing what to say. Give me the courage to do that much. I want to do ministry and have the heart to do it so push me I pray. I know it's dangerous but still do it. Daddy, I love you, too. 

In Christ's name,

 Amen

Calming and Fun Part of COVID-19

           Well, I thought I better get this entry done before I go things open back up on May 4th, if they are going to. I want to say that even though this time might be hard and really busy for some, it was calm and fun for me. Just because I say that I am not taking away from the serious of it all. I am just telling you how I turned it around for me. Giving you ideas maybe and seeing it could possibly be a good time if we let it. That's my main goal because if you know me I could have turned this whole thing into a big anxiety attack/fit. To be honest, earlier on in life I would have.

             Here we go: I have started going deeper into 2 new hobbies, spent time with my parents, spent time with God in a new Bible study, spent time with my boyfriend, and looked at it has a time to relax. First one I'm going to talk is spend time with my parents and boyfriend at the same time. My boyfriend and I went up to my parents' house the week after Spring Break and we have been there ever since. For about a month. I have got to do crafts and bake with my mom and my boyfriend helped my dad out in the yard. He has raked sticks, put up a cabinet, and other little things in his shop.

           Second one I am going to talk about are my hobbies. The first hobby I tried was woodburning. I loved it! It was my first time ever doing it! At first it was hard but I got the hang of it. When I was done and wanted to color the pictures, I did it two different ways. I tried water colored pencils and then water color paints. I got a new woodburning tool because my first one broke because it didn't come with enough directions. 

             The second hobby that I did was Bible journaling. I brought two new Bible jounraling stamp kits to try out and I've tried out one so far. I have been journaling and drawing pictures by a lot of verses about not being anxious, trusting, and God's Love. Those things are good to remember in times like these. I'm using my water color pencils and some of my mom's scrapbooking markers to make the pictures. I have been doing that while my mom has been working on making her cards.

              The third thing I am doing is spending time with my boyfriend. Before we went up to my parents' house, we built a couple of things together like a table and a fire pit. We painted a rock swan staute together. When I say painted, I mean spray painted it white all around. We also had supper around the fire pit one night. We went around different parks to take Spring pictures of us together. 

              Fourth thing I did was doing was a Bible study all about Trusting in God and it was by Sarah Young. I've done a couple of days with it and am really liking it. That is where I am finding most of my verses to do during my Bible Journaling. Not much to say about this. I had this study for a long time and just now getting to it. Isn't it strange how on some things we wait til the last minute or til we really need it sometimes?

              This is all relaxing to me and I am having fun doing it all too. You just have to make the most of what is given to you. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. 😊

Jesus As The Bridegroom

           Here is the sermon that my parents' church taught us this morning. It was really insightful and meaningful to me. Really showed me another way that God really does love me. It was about Jesus being the bridegroom for all of us. He also used old Jewish wedding traditions back during Jesus' time to explain the relationship Jesus wants to have with us. 

Here are the verses:

-Gen. 2:19-24

          -Main verse used in this part was: verse 24

-Luke 5:22-27

Here is a link you can go to to read about an old Jewish wedding:

https://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/revelation/related-topics/the-jewish-wedding-analogy.html

-Jesus brought us with a cost, aka the cross, just like a husband brought a wife. 

-Jesus left His 11 "friends" after 40 days.

-Jesus is preparing a place for us in His House.

-Jesus will come back after our place is ready to get us. 

-How does the bride wait for her bridegroom?

             -She gets ready emotionally, physically, and mentally.

             -No one knows when God will return just like the bride waits for her husband.

             -Only the Father knows when the Son will return. 

            -The term of the relationship was seal with the cup and the bread before the groom left. It was sealed for sure. 

We are waiting excitingly for Jesus to come back! 

Challenge question: What are we doing while we wait espically during this time that He has given us to spend time with Him?

Jesus Had a Hard Week

            I've thought about it and seen a lot of posts on Facebook about how yes, this is a hard week for America but it was for Jesus too. It was also hard for his disciples. The more I think about it the more I can't help but think all of this is God's Timing for something. We might not know why this is happening now but we will in the future. Now which future I don't know. 

             There is hope through Jesus. I strongly believe that is what this whole sickness is teaching is or one of the many things. When things get bad, we have to know that there is hope at the end of the tunnel. 

              This is the week that Jesus went through the hard things and the worst things before hope came to us. Jesus was betrayed and arrest. He went before the council and his best friend, Peter, denied Him three times. Then, He was delivered to Pilate and he delivered Jesus to be crucified. Then, Jesus got mocked. After that, the crucifixion happened and He died but that's not the end of it. Jesus was buried in a tomb that was given by a council member. I could write a paragraph about this sickness comparing it to this event but I'm going to get to the good part.

              Not to mention, that during all of this the disciples and God believing people were hiding in their houses. I mean even Peter denied Him. His best friend. No one even saw this coming even though Jesus told them a few times. 

               It was after the death on the cross and the burial that hope came. JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!! There was the hope everyone was looking for. Jesus even went to three people to show them He was alive. Make that 14 people. He went to see his disciples that were hiding in the house because of harden hearts. They would not believe the other people that saw Him. He had to show Himself to them in person. 

              Do you see what I am saying? Do you see similarities between the Cross and what is going on in the world now? DO YOU SEE GOD WORKING IN THE WORLD TODAY? I believe He is more present and working in the world at this very moment, then, might I dare say it, then He has ever before in my life time. You cannot get a better sense of God then what is going on this week. People even say that some numbers are leveling off, which could be a Easter Miracle in a way. 

               I challenge you to take time and compare the Resurrection and what is going on in today's world. It might surprise you! You could even reread the Easter story with what is going on now in mind. It will give you a different look at everything. 

The World Stopped Spinning- Prayer From Facebook

Let us Pray. 

Eternal Father, You made the whole world stop spinning for awhile.

You silenced the noise that we all have created

You made us bend our knees 

again and ask for a miracle. 

You closed Your churches so we will realize how dark our world is without You in it. 

You humble the proud 

and powerful. 

The economy is crashing,

businesses are closing. 

We were very proud,

we thought that everything 

we have, everything we 

possess was the result of 

our hardwork. 

We have forgotten that it was always Your grace and mercy that made us who we are. 

We’re like running in circles looking for some cure to this disease but in fact it takes humility to ask for Your wisdom. 

We’ve been living our lives like  we will be here on earth forever, like there’s no heaven.

Maybe these trials are Your 

mercy in disguise. 

Maybe this virus is actually 

Your way of purifying us, 

cleansing our soul, bringing 

us back to YOU. 

.. In the past you serenaded us with Hosea’s song:

“Come back to me with all your heart.

Don't let fear keep us apart

Trees do bend though straight and tall.

So must we to others' call

Long have I waited for

Your coming home to me

And living deeply our new lives”.

You have been patiently waiting for us. We’re so sorry for ignoring Your voice. For our selfish ways. We have forgotten You Dear Father. 

.. We’ve forgotten that You are GOD .  You only need to  say the words and our souls shall be healed.

Prayer for all

A Honest Prayer During Hard Times

        I am not posting it as a potical anything. I am posting it and hoping that people will use this prayer as outline to start praying really hard for the things that we need to pray for in this moment in time. 

          Instead of praying for my family even though they need it, pray for people you know on the front lines or just those kind of people in general. Pray for the nursing home. Pray for our nation and government.

           JUST PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is what will get us through!

Dear Daddy,

        I have to admit it now. I am really scared. After reading about everyone wearing a mask I am scared. Is it time? Would the President and government really make that a rule? 

          I'm scared for my family. I have a sister as a nurse, another sister is a teacher, my big brother and his family lives in New Jersey, my little brother is an essital worker because he works with food, and my other sister knows people that have it. I'm sacred for all of them. Me missing my kids too. Being in the house and social distancing is killing me. It's fun and I'm trying to make it fun but not fun when I have to be. This whole thing is not good for my anxiety. 

           Daddy, I am really trying to stay strong. What can I do for You during this time? This missionary heart is hurt. It can't just sit around and do nothing if this keeps going on long. It's in my own backyard and I am doing nothing to help it. I know if it gets closer I will do something. 

            I mean you can't even visit nursing homes. I can't imagine not visiting my grandparents if they were alive and still in one. I would be devastated if they passed during all this. 

            My life was going good before all of this but now it feels like it is on hold. I know I am not the only one that feels that way. When you are stuck in a house and do not know which day it is, that could make you feel stuck and on hold. It honestly feels like the world has stopped for some time. 

            Daddy, I can tell you one thing the world will never be the same again. We are stepping into something new. I want to know what's going on but it gets my anxiety so high. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen

JUST PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what will get this world through this moment in time!

Love you all and thinking about you all!

April Reminder

Just so I never forget..... April 2, 2020

-Gas is down under $2.00 for the first time in my life.

-School postponed for now, they are doing it from home online.

-Some seniors won't have their graduation or prom. Some of them won't get to play their sport or concerts for the last time.

-Daycares in AR still open but my Headstart is closed

-Wal-Mart's big home office employees are working from home.

-Tape on the floors at grocery stores and others to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.

-Limited number of people inside stores, therefore, lineups outside the store doors.

-Stores having open hours just for senior citizens because they are the ones most at risk.

-Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed.

-Parks, trails, entire cities locked up.

-Entire sports seasons cancelled.

-Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled.

-Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - cancelled.

-No funerals for those who pass.

-No masses, churches are closed.

-No nursing home visits.

-Having church services online and no church events. Not even on/for Easter.

-Talking to family members near by and far away through video chat.

-No gatherings of 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 10 or more.

-Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home.

-Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.

-Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.

-Panic buying sets in and we have no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towel no laundry soap, no hand sanitizer.

-Shelves are bare.

-Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.

-Government closes the border to all non-essential travel.

-Fines are established for breaking the rules.

-Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.

-Navy ship docked in New York to help them because hospitals are full.

-Press conferences daily from the President and the governors. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.

-Government incentives to stay home.

-Barely anyone on the roads.

-People wearing masks and gloves outside.

-Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.

-Essential workers are drs., Nurses, police, firefighters, EMS, teachers, truckers, store cashiers and stockers and preschool teachers.

-Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.

This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.

Why, you ask, do I share this status?

One day it will show up in my memory feed, and it will be a yearly reminder that life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted.

We have so much!

Be thankful. Be grateful.

Be kind to each other - love one another - support everyone.

We are all one! ❤️

Copy and share.

Crazy Part of COVID-19

            I am doing it. I am going crazy and it's only been a week for me. I don't know how I am going to make it the other two weeks. I don't know if I can take it if it gets worse. I knew the world was off  too easy of a start in 2020. We were getting full of ourselves, weren't we? Away from people. Away from family. Away from Love. Away from God. It's sad how hard this really is. It is sad how we need the rush of everyday left to get us to sleep or make us feel worthy.

              Personally, I am trying to do things and be creative but it is driving me nuts. I have a few hobbies that I am trying to start. Maybe if I knew when this all would end I would enjoy things a little bit more. Right there, lays the problem. I hate worrying about things. I want to make plans but if they are long plans I might not be able to get them done because I don't know how long this will last.

              I know I am also not talking to myself when I ask this question, Why can't we learn to enjoy the now and the present? The here and the now. Instead of being so worried about the future. Why can't I get that through my head? Enjoy and be thankful for what we still have. 

               I know I am not the only one that feels this way. The news is making it seems kind of scary. I am better not watching the news or what it is going on. I know that might settle wrong with some people but if they know me they will understand. Less knowing, less anxiety. That's how I work most of the time. That is why I am writing it out and to remember how I felt during this time. Come back when it is all over or I have been at he longer and see if I have a different view of things. 

Psalm 4-5- A Prayer

This is a prayer for this day and time. I just picked out a few lines from these two chapters that popped out at me and that I really needed right now. Hope it helps you too! 

Dear Daddy,

Give me relief from my distress.

Search my heart and let me be silent.

I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

Trust in the Lord.

I run for cover to You.

You welcome us with open arms.

We dwell in safety because

You surround us with a shield.

You will bless the righteous. 

In Your name,

Amen

In God's Eyes You Are Irreplaceable- A Poem

In God's Eyes You Are Irreplaceable.

You are irreplaceable because He made only

One of you. 

You are beautiful, gentle, talented, and kind hearted. 

No one can ever replace you even if they try.

You are one in a million in God's eyes. 

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are beautiful. 

You have the color of your eyes for a reason.

Your hair is that color for a reason.

God made your skin that color because He needed it that color. 

God needed to use you like that. He has a speical plan for you.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are gentle.

You don't fight back but turn your back.

You try to encourage even when they don't

Hear you.

You don't yell but use a soft voice because

That gets their attention for you.

God is that gentle and He wants you to be

Like Him.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are very talented.

God has given a special and unique talent

For a reason.

You are at that place and job for a reason.

God knew you could handle certain things

And not handle other things.

So wherever you are be a missionary of

God. 

Let people see God through you.

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

You are kind hearted.

You give a lot even when you want to

Give up.

You think about other people instead

Of yourself.

You never slow down.

You have a heart for God. Never forget that!

In God's eyes you are irreplaceable.

No one can ever replace you.

He only made one of you so that makes

You really speical.

Live like it! Live for God!

Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: March 18th, 2020

Psalm 1-3 (What Do We Do For God?)

During this time of our lives, it might be crazy. You might be out of work or working from home. Your kids might be out of school and having to do it at home online. You maybe working at work but without people or children. Whatever your case may be, here are some things God reminds us to do:

-Chew on Scripture day and night.

-Bear fruit every month because we are trees.

-Always be in blossom (aka always keep growing in the Word.)

-Worship God in an adoring embrace.

-Run towards God, not away from Him.

-Celebrate the good times and small things in awe.

-Rest so we can stand tall and steady in these hard times.

While we are doing these things, what is God doing for us?

-Watches over the way of the righteous.

-Shields us on all sides.

-Ground our feet.

-Lift our heads high so we can see Him in everything.

These are just the first two chapters of Psalm. I am trying to read a chapter a day to keep me sane. Anyone want to join me?

Bloom to Plan for 2020

       I have a word and a phase that I am going to work on growing in this next year in 2020. The word is: Bloom. The phase is: Bloom to Plan. After I explain my phase, you will understand why I picked it. 

        The word "Bloom" is a good word for me because there are some areas where I need to Bloom in and make those areas stronger. The area of planning is one area I really need to Bloom in. That is where the phase of the year comes in and makes sense. People might say that I have already bloomed a Lot this past year but I know I could Bloom more after learning a lot this year. Being a girlfriend for a year, taught me a lot and opened up my eyes a lot more. 

            I have 5 main steps and things that I learned but that is another entery for another time. Those 5 things are what I need to Bloom in and right now one of those 5 things are "planning better". Bloom to Plan. This past year showed me how much I need to plan and how I need to plan for everything. When you have yourself and another person, planning is the best way to go for everything. 

             It could make things easier in life. Plan for everything and every holiday. I never had to plan for myself because I could go off the wind and I made enough money for just me. Now, I have another person to think about. We have talked about starting to save for Christmas 2020 and I've thought about saving up for his birthday too. I've also thought to plan where I could make more crafts this year. I've tried to plan for myself and make a budget but it has failed Everytime. I have a lot that I want to do and plan for so that is why I have to make it a point to focus on that part of my life.

             Now that I have another person in my life maybe that plan to budget is a good idea this year. Maybe my planning habit will Bloom too? That's my hope this year. That is why my year phase is: Bloom to Plan and why my word this year is : Plan. Plus hopefully I can use that planning to do something big in the future. 

             Hopefully, planning things out will take down my anxiety too. That's another good thing it could do. Planning is my number one goal of 2020. Let's see if I can do it!