Well, It is December

          Well, it is December again. That time of year where children are suppose to be happy and waiting for Santa Claus. That time of year where you like back on the year you had. That busiest time of year. For me, December is always a fun month because I get to celebrate Christmas and my birthday. I love that my birthday is around Christmas but it makes being happy for both hard or it has lately these past 3 years.
          It seems like these past 3 years everything bad happened to me at the end of the year near Christmas. It seems like it was just waiting to make my year bad. It all plies up for me at the end of the year. I will say that since 2012 starting in Oct. I lost my Grandad and then in Dec. quit my 1st job in AR. In Nov. 2013, I grew away from a good friend and in Dec. of that year I was all by myself at work, which was fun but hard. Then this past month (Nov. 2014) I lost a really close adult friend that was like a 2nd dad to me. It has just been hard for me when it shouldn't be. It is like my life is starting all over for the new year.
             Another thing that I thought about and it was strange is that December is Advent and all these things have happened to me before Advent so I could maybe learn something about Hope, Joy, Peace, and Love. It is like God saying, "It is time to start over or onto something new. Just have hope and joy and peace in me and know that I Love you." I remember way back in December of 2007, I changed my major not long after that because that is when my Grandpa died. Just strange how God is doing that in my life. I was born in December and lately in the past years it has been like I have been reborn again. He is making me into the person that I need to be.
           It is sad that He has to get my attention that way sometimes but I mean death does happen and what better way to look at it then to think God is using it to change you especially in my way lately. It is strange because since I have moved to AR this all has happened. Sometimes if God has to get our attention that way then that means we are too busy or just not listening. I know back in college, back in 2012, and right now I had/have been thinking about things and not doing anything about those thoughts. Sometimes it worries me but yet sometimes it turns out for the best if I take those chances.
           I still don't see all of the reason why I changed my major but I do see little pieces here and there in all of the jobs and things I have done. God will show me more as time goes on. I am sure of it. Just wonder "why do we have to wait for Him to do something big until we notice Him?" No matter how many times we have been through it if it is the same way, our sinful flesh will never understand and will always fear God. It is our time to spend time with the Spirit and God so that we learn how to hear them both and then trust them enough to do it.
          It is hard because I'm not in the Christmas mood yet. Hopefully, I will be in the coming weeks like by next week because I don't want to miss out on a great, long Christmas with my family and friends.