This week has been a tough and busy one for all areas of my life. I could never get a moment of peace even away from the children because my mind kept running non stop. I would keep waking up in the middle of the nights and wake up each morning feeling like I didn't get enough sleep for the next day ahead of me. It was amazing what God has shown me about peace this week and I know He isn't done with teaching me yet about it.
I came home from work Tuesday and just sat in my quite apartment for a few mins. and I thought, "Wow, it is really quite. This is what peace feels like." Nothing was going on in my head because it couldn't at work because I had to be on top of everything. Yet the children were screaming and yelling non stop that day. It just felt like it was God given peace like God said, "Here is a little of what peace looks like. Doesn't it feel great?!" No one around me and no one to tend to. Now don't get me wrong I like helping people and hanging out but there are those moments where we just need to sit and be in peace with God.
Yesterday at work was another one of the loud days. The group of children I have is just really loud whether talking or screaming but I love them dearly. I was so stressed at the end of the work day and I could tell because my body was so teased up. I was around the children all day with no break. I did try to do some fun things with them but they didn't last long. The children are also very active. No one can stay in place at one time. Again, I just couldn't wait to get home and be in peace with God. When I got home, I realized that it just wasn't the children be loud and active, it was also my mind on top of that.
I have a feeling things are going to change in the next few months and I'm not out with that okay. I feel like I just found the spot I was comfortable in and now it will change again. I don't understand where or how God is leading me just yet. I'm trying to break free of the things I need to but it is so hard to think about yourself when you have a job where you are thinking about others. Instead of coming home and feeling at peace like I wanted to feel like before that week, I came home trying to find that peace but that is when I realized it was in my mind too. I wanted to do things so I would't think about things but yet I wanted to be still and quite even if it was just for a few mins. I tried being quite by turning off all the lights in my apartment and just lying face down in my bed with face under the pillow. I did try on my knees at first by my bedside but I'm getting to old for that. :) To be honest, instead of just lying there quietly because I couldn't, I started to cry and talk to God. I know I am fighting something big when I start that way.
It went on for a few mins. but again I couldn't make myself stay so I got up and watch some shows on my computer. Something that is mindless. After that is when I felt like I could do things so I got some house chores done. All this to say that it is strange how God can take you to feeling His Peace with where you are at to the devil trying to get in and you don't even know it before it is too late. I just hope and pray that things with get easier. I'm going to try and keep my head up but I don't know how long it will last. If I'm learning anything from this week and on for a little while, it is that I know what it feels like to be in God's peace because I need to be to get through a day at a time.
Later on, plus having the courage and trust to go through it.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
You Might Be Plain In the World's Eyes
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight out battles. And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the kind of Judah said."- 2 Chronicles 32:7-8
"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. But since they could see the man who has been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say."- Acts 4:13
I was going to write until tomorrow night because I think it will be of a weekend thing this year because so far it has been. Sorry about that but I had to write this out because God is teaching me something again and through a friend that He has taught me things through a million of times before. It isn't the first time.
The first verse I have on here is a verse that I got from my Bible study "Breaking Free" this week and it hit me hard so I wrote it down in my study book. I read that verse Tuesday. The second verse on here is a verse that my friend put on their wall today. I read it before I got back home from work. I did not have the two verses beside me at the same time. When I read the second one the first one came back to my mind. Strange how God does that, huh?
I don't know what God is trying to teach me or in which part of my life. Maybe it is all of my life? It could be used in all of it but from the friend the second one come from, I could see it working in that friendship a little bit more for the both of us. It is strange how both of the verses are talking about courage and how when we leave it out in God and have courage because of Him He can make things happen, great things. I mean God won a battle in the first verse and in the second verse He healed a lame man. Yet no one could say anything in both verses because they were all astonished about what happened.
Hezerkiah's army and Peter and John were plain people but yet God worked through every one of them. So why can't we believe God could work through us to change the world? We don't have to have Master's degrees or have an office job. Yes, some of those things would be nice once in awhile but we don't have to have them. God can use us just the way we are. When people see us do things that they did not know we could do that is when they see God the most in us because we have the courage to at least try and trust that God will use it for the better.
We can started something but God will usually finished it for good. We might think we start and finish things at times but the truth is God is never really done until we are with Him in Heaven. We just need to be happy where God has put us for now and yes, I'm talking to myself too when I'm writing this. I'm making a huge difference when I think about the kind of children I have come in touch with over the past 2 years. Now to think, where would they me without me (God) and where would I be without them? They are such good reminders of God and His Love for us. So truthful! Sometimes a little too truthful but you still love them.
Challenge: You might not think God is using you right now but He is in ways you wouldn't even think about. Look at the little and big things. All things matter to God.
YOU MIGHT BE PLAIN IN THE WORLD'S EYES BUT IN GOD'S EYES YOU ARE STRONG AND/OR BEAUTIFUL! HE CAN USE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!
"When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. But since they could see the man who has been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say."- Acts 4:13
I was going to write until tomorrow night because I think it will be of a weekend thing this year because so far it has been. Sorry about that but I had to write this out because God is teaching me something again and through a friend that He has taught me things through a million of times before. It isn't the first time.
The first verse I have on here is a verse that I got from my Bible study "Breaking Free" this week and it hit me hard so I wrote it down in my study book. I read that verse Tuesday. The second verse on here is a verse that my friend put on their wall today. I read it before I got back home from work. I did not have the two verses beside me at the same time. When I read the second one the first one came back to my mind. Strange how God does that, huh?
I don't know what God is trying to teach me or in which part of my life. Maybe it is all of my life? It could be used in all of it but from the friend the second one come from, I could see it working in that friendship a little bit more for the both of us. It is strange how both of the verses are talking about courage and how when we leave it out in God and have courage because of Him He can make things happen, great things. I mean God won a battle in the first verse and in the second verse He healed a lame man. Yet no one could say anything in both verses because they were all astonished about what happened.
Hezerkiah's army and Peter and John were plain people but yet God worked through every one of them. So why can't we believe God could work through us to change the world? We don't have to have Master's degrees or have an office job. Yes, some of those things would be nice once in awhile but we don't have to have them. God can use us just the way we are. When people see us do things that they did not know we could do that is when they see God the most in us because we have the courage to at least try and trust that God will use it for the better.
We can started something but God will usually finished it for good. We might think we start and finish things at times but the truth is God is never really done until we are with Him in Heaven. We just need to be happy where God has put us for now and yes, I'm talking to myself too when I'm writing this. I'm making a huge difference when I think about the kind of children I have come in touch with over the past 2 years. Now to think, where would they me without me (God) and where would I be without them? They are such good reminders of God and His Love for us. So truthful! Sometimes a little too truthful but you still love them.
Challenge: You might not think God is using you right now but He is in ways you wouldn't even think about. Look at the little and big things. All things matter to God.
YOU MIGHT BE PLAIN IN THE WORLD'S EYES BUT IN GOD'S EYES YOU ARE STRONG AND/OR BEAUTIFUL! HE CAN USE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Family Doesn't Have to be Blood Related
You might read the title and think "what is she talking about? She is crazy." Even though that statement is true in so many ways, I'm not crazy when it comes to the title. I thought a lot about what that meant and where God has me in my life right now. Yes, I want to marry and have my own family someday if God is willing but if I look around me now I have a family, 2 different ones at that.
Last night at church, I felt loved and like I needed to be there. Now you think I'm going to start talking about how a church can be a family. Well, you are wrong there too. I did feel loved there more then I have in awhile. I will admit. I about stepped out on a limb but held myself back for a few more weeks. It was "Compassion Sunday" for my church. That is where we have a grown up that was raised with the help of Compassion International come speak at our church and then we have the chance to sponsor a child.
I have a child that I have sponsored since she was 6 years old and now she will be 16 this year in April. She lives all the way in the Philippines. Yet God has put on my heart ever since I was young and started to sponsor her to go on a trip with Compassion and meet the child that I sponsor. Yes, I will admit Philippines is to far away for me but I just thought how neat it would be to sponsor a girl way out there when I picked her. Yet, while it would be nice to go to that country, I need to go someplace closer.
I have been looking at their website for a Guatemalan child for the past few months now. Just to see what I had to "pick" from and I sort of kept up to date that way too. God touched my heart last night after the message and everything changed after the service. I did go to one of the tables and got me a picture of a Guatemalan girl. Her birthday is in Dec. like mine and she is 5 years old again. Did I mention she live in Guatemala. The place that is dear to my heart too since I have been there 2 times. This time, when the timing is right, I will go visit her and see what Compassion really does. That ministry has been close to my heart ever since I was in high school. They are all about Child development and that is my degree.
I feel like a "mom" with children across the seas that I haven't even met yet. That is one of my families, my overseas family. The other family is the children I work with here in the states. The ones I take care of for 45 days. The ones I get to see the changes happen in and through them. The ones that I get to care for and teach. Yes, I might get to sponsor the 2 girls for years to come but I get to see the differences in the children where I work. I know I say this but a lot can happen in just for 45 days when taken care of.
I keep saying I want to be a foster mom when I have the chance but in a way God is already doing that in my life. I'm a foster mom to a Philippienen, Guatemalan, and 100+ of Arkansan children. God truly has BLESSED me in my life so far but yet it took a Compassion church service for me to see that. See that I am really LOVING on these children like I should be and if not more. I will admit I need to write to my girl overseas a lot more this year because 16 years old can be such a hard year deciding what to do with life.
I just have this feeling that God wants me to stay in this ministry somehow. It is so rewarding but yet so hard. I want to do more for the foster children here in the states but what? God and time will tell. I just have to get past my physical being of sleepiness and other things and just remember what it does for my spiritual being. It is AMAZING!
FAMILY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE BLOOD RELATED WHEN YOU ARE IN IT FOR GOD! Might be a strange way to look at it but GOD IS THE FATHER OF THE ORPHANS. Get it?
Last night at church, I felt loved and like I needed to be there. Now you think I'm going to start talking about how a church can be a family. Well, you are wrong there too. I did feel loved there more then I have in awhile. I will admit. I about stepped out on a limb but held myself back for a few more weeks. It was "Compassion Sunday" for my church. That is where we have a grown up that was raised with the help of Compassion International come speak at our church and then we have the chance to sponsor a child.
I have a child that I have sponsored since she was 6 years old and now she will be 16 this year in April. She lives all the way in the Philippines. Yet God has put on my heart ever since I was young and started to sponsor her to go on a trip with Compassion and meet the child that I sponsor. Yes, I will admit Philippines is to far away for me but I just thought how neat it would be to sponsor a girl way out there when I picked her. Yet, while it would be nice to go to that country, I need to go someplace closer.
I have been looking at their website for a Guatemalan child for the past few months now. Just to see what I had to "pick" from and I sort of kept up to date that way too. God touched my heart last night after the message and everything changed after the service. I did go to one of the tables and got me a picture of a Guatemalan girl. Her birthday is in Dec. like mine and she is 5 years old again. Did I mention she live in Guatemala. The place that is dear to my heart too since I have been there 2 times. This time, when the timing is right, I will go visit her and see what Compassion really does. That ministry has been close to my heart ever since I was in high school. They are all about Child development and that is my degree.
I feel like a "mom" with children across the seas that I haven't even met yet. That is one of my families, my overseas family. The other family is the children I work with here in the states. The ones I take care of for 45 days. The ones I get to see the changes happen in and through them. The ones that I get to care for and teach. Yes, I might get to sponsor the 2 girls for years to come but I get to see the differences in the children where I work. I know I say this but a lot can happen in just for 45 days when taken care of.
I keep saying I want to be a foster mom when I have the chance but in a way God is already doing that in my life. I'm a foster mom to a Philippienen, Guatemalan, and 100+ of Arkansan children. God truly has BLESSED me in my life so far but yet it took a Compassion church service for me to see that. See that I am really LOVING on these children like I should be and if not more. I will admit I need to write to my girl overseas a lot more this year because 16 years old can be such a hard year deciding what to do with life.
I just have this feeling that God wants me to stay in this ministry somehow. It is so rewarding but yet so hard. I want to do more for the foster children here in the states but what? God and time will tell. I just have to get past my physical being of sleepiness and other things and just remember what it does for my spiritual being. It is AMAZING!
FAMILY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE BLOOD RELATED WHEN YOU ARE IN IT FOR GOD! Might be a strange way to look at it but GOD IS THE FATHER OF THE ORPHANS. Get it?
Friday, January 23, 2015
Breaking Free
Looks like I'm only getting to write once or twice a week right now. Sorry about that. Things have just been really busy and they're not looking like they are going to slow down anytime soon. I had sort of a week where I was trying to find myself. When I say I was trying to find myself, I mean where I belonged, what church group I belonged to. It has been hard but I know where I belong now even through it might not seem like it and that is because I'm not doing my part.
I went to a Pentecostal church last Sunday and then a small group at that church on Tuesday night and for me it was just really different. Church was great but the small group just didn't fit my personality. Yes, I need to come out of my shell some but it was just too much for me. There were things I was iffy about because I wasn't raised that way at all. I was raised Baptist for the most part. Those are two totally different things. Yet I was baptized in a Christian church. I'm too personal where I don't want anyone else to hear what I'm praying most of the time and I don't have that strong feeling. I love my friends that goes to that kind of church because they seem so happy and free but it is just not what God has for me. To me, through a teacher's eyes, Pentecostal is more hands-on while Baptist/Christian is more thought and alone based. Get what I'm saying? So the group at the Pentecostal church was not for me.
I tried a new Bible study at the church I'm going to now and have been since I moved to AR and it has my name written all over it. It is a Beth Moore study and it is called "Breaking Free". It has a book to follow along with plus verses to look up. I want things written out for me, not just spoken to me. It just seems to fit the moment of life that I am in right now. I just turned 27 and have no idea where my life is going. I love AR and I want to stay in the state but it doesn't have want I'm looking into doing right now expect down south and that is not the good part of AR.
As of now, I want to go back to grad school for OT. Right now, a college in Springfield, MO is looking good but that means I have to leave everything in AR behind. The only thing that is stopping me is the great state of AR. I'm trying to find out a way to live near AR but yet go to school in MO. Maybe leave somewhere in the middle where it is an hour each way? I wouldn't mind that but yet there is another problem. The other problem is I need some kind of job to keep money coming in so I can pay for tuition. A job plus college would be that I would be driving all over the place and time for nothing else. I want to do some online but I don't know if that is possible with an OT degree.
Right now, I'm trying to "break free" of my wants like living here and living my life out for God. I'm trying to see where God wants me now and in the future. Having an OT job would be a great job with a family but yet what about being to busy to even find a husband. I know I'm still young to some people and I shouldn't be worrying about that. I should go get my Master's but I am. Maybe it is because I have a certain way I want to see things turn out? Again, I need to let "break free" of my plans and things that hold me back and just trust God with those things. Trust that if it His Will He will have those things waiting for me for when I get back.
There was a word that really got me Thursday night at the Breaking Free Bible study. The would was "Captives" and how Beth Moore described it in her book. She said it meant, "God's people that live in the past off and on." It isn't random people like we think it means. We can be some captivating by our past that we forget what we have ahead or where we are now. We are so focus on how we messed up our past and we don't want to do that to our future. We won't mess it up if we let God have control. I'm going to go into more detail on that would in another entry if I can and what it means to me. Why I have been captivating for so long?
Then another word that got me last night was the word "again". I didn't realize how much I use that word out loud and in my mind until last night. To me, it is a sinful would be it gets me stuck in places I shouldn't be. I ask myself sometimes, "why am I in this again", why did I do it this way again", "If I do it this way again.....", "that happened again and I knew it would", and so on. If I noticed that I'm doing the same thing again and again shouldn't I change that pattern but if it is one I've done all my life it is hard for me to change it.
There will be a lot more interesting entries now that I'm in another Bible study. I will just have to find the time to write on here because I have study pages to do that take about 30 to 45 mins to finish but I want God to work through me. I've had it with this again and being chained up. I want to break away and be free in Him. I pray that this study will work for me in so many ways. I might also write about the ways I want to break free. I could do more at my job but I know I need to do a lot more in my relationships and friendships. I hide so many things that I shouldn't from my friends.
Challenge: I challenge you all to break free with me as I'm writing in the blog about what I'm learning through this study. I hope you will let it change your life in some way.
I went to a Pentecostal church last Sunday and then a small group at that church on Tuesday night and for me it was just really different. Church was great but the small group just didn't fit my personality. Yes, I need to come out of my shell some but it was just too much for me. There were things I was iffy about because I wasn't raised that way at all. I was raised Baptist for the most part. Those are two totally different things. Yet I was baptized in a Christian church. I'm too personal where I don't want anyone else to hear what I'm praying most of the time and I don't have that strong feeling. I love my friends that goes to that kind of church because they seem so happy and free but it is just not what God has for me. To me, through a teacher's eyes, Pentecostal is more hands-on while Baptist/Christian is more thought and alone based. Get what I'm saying? So the group at the Pentecostal church was not for me.
I tried a new Bible study at the church I'm going to now and have been since I moved to AR and it has my name written all over it. It is a Beth Moore study and it is called "Breaking Free". It has a book to follow along with plus verses to look up. I want things written out for me, not just spoken to me. It just seems to fit the moment of life that I am in right now. I just turned 27 and have no idea where my life is going. I love AR and I want to stay in the state but it doesn't have want I'm looking into doing right now expect down south and that is not the good part of AR.
As of now, I want to go back to grad school for OT. Right now, a college in Springfield, MO is looking good but that means I have to leave everything in AR behind. The only thing that is stopping me is the great state of AR. I'm trying to find out a way to live near AR but yet go to school in MO. Maybe leave somewhere in the middle where it is an hour each way? I wouldn't mind that but yet there is another problem. The other problem is I need some kind of job to keep money coming in so I can pay for tuition. A job plus college would be that I would be driving all over the place and time for nothing else. I want to do some online but I don't know if that is possible with an OT degree.
Right now, I'm trying to "break free" of my wants like living here and living my life out for God. I'm trying to see where God wants me now and in the future. Having an OT job would be a great job with a family but yet what about being to busy to even find a husband. I know I'm still young to some people and I shouldn't be worrying about that. I should go get my Master's but I am. Maybe it is because I have a certain way I want to see things turn out? Again, I need to let "break free" of my plans and things that hold me back and just trust God with those things. Trust that if it His Will He will have those things waiting for me for when I get back.
There was a word that really got me Thursday night at the Breaking Free Bible study. The would was "Captives" and how Beth Moore described it in her book. She said it meant, "God's people that live in the past off and on." It isn't random people like we think it means. We can be some captivating by our past that we forget what we have ahead or where we are now. We are so focus on how we messed up our past and we don't want to do that to our future. We won't mess it up if we let God have control. I'm going to go into more detail on that would in another entry if I can and what it means to me. Why I have been captivating for so long?
Then another word that got me last night was the word "again". I didn't realize how much I use that word out loud and in my mind until last night. To me, it is a sinful would be it gets me stuck in places I shouldn't be. I ask myself sometimes, "why am I in this again", why did I do it this way again", "If I do it this way again.....", "that happened again and I knew it would", and so on. If I noticed that I'm doing the same thing again and again shouldn't I change that pattern but if it is one I've done all my life it is hard for me to change it.
There will be a lot more interesting entries now that I'm in another Bible study. I will just have to find the time to write on here because I have study pages to do that take about 30 to 45 mins to finish but I want God to work through me. I've had it with this again and being chained up. I want to break away and be free in Him. I pray that this study will work for me in so many ways. I might also write about the ways I want to break free. I could do more at my job but I know I need to do a lot more in my relationships and friendships. I hide so many things that I shouldn't from my friends.
Challenge: I challenge you all to break free with me as I'm writing in the blog about what I'm learning through this study. I hope you will let it change your life in some way.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Moment Story Written in Verses
These are some of the verses that God has put on my heart in the past month. I tried to put them in order to where it sounds like what I think God is trying to teach me at this moment in my life.
“Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Geetings favored women! The Lord is with you!”- Luke 1:28
“When your ancestors went down into Egypt, there were only 70 of them. But now the Lord Your God, has made you numerous as the stars in the sky.”- Deut. 10:22
“Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. “Don’t be frightened, Mary,” the angle said. “for God as decided to bless you! You will become pregnant and have a son and you are to name him Jesus.”- Luke 1:29-31
“Mary responsed, “I am the Lord’s servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants. May everything you have said come true.” Then the angel left.”- Luke 1:38
“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you, a prophet to the nations-that’s what I had in mind for you. But I said, “Hold it Master God! Look at me! I don’t know anything. I’m only a boy.”- Jer. 1:1-10
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed but the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2
“However, as it is written: “What no eye have seen, what no hear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”-the things God has prepared for those who love Him. But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.”- 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with truth and actions.”- 1 John 3:18
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”- Eph. 3:16-18-that whole chapter is really good for me right now
“Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Geetings favored women! The Lord is with you!”- Luke 1:28
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”- Psalm 51:10
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life.”- Proverbs 4:23
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”- 1 Cor. 5:17
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Missionary in the States
When I first moved to AR and while I was in college, being a missionary sounded great for me. Three years have gone by, now it doesn't sound so exciting. I started a job in AR 2 years ago with the missionary mind set for the rest of my life. It was a mission I could do in the states. It was a way I could change lives.
Let's just say that I'm glad I didn't go overseas like I wanted to before moving to AR. I need people to stay by my side and help me through anything that I'm going through especially if it needs a mission mind set. I can't do mission work alone. No one care. There is so much emotion, mental, and physical things that go into that kind of work. When you don't have the group beside you to share things with it can ware you down fast. That is one reason I decided not to go overseas. I couldn't do it by myself or take care of myself like I should. I have a hard time balancing both right here in the states.
There are some missions that I love and support with all my heart. I could name a couple here in AR but I won't. I also support Compassion International with all my heart. I have a girl that I sponsor from there that I dearly love. I have sponsored here since she was 5 years old and now she is going to be 14 this year. I believe that one of my main missions is having my own children. I can't work for a mission that takes my whole life whether emotionally, mentally, and physically. I know later in life I can't take on 2 or 3, maybe 4, missions at the same time. By that I mean really big and important missions.
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about marriage and my own family and they both can be a mission in themselves. Those are the two that I want to help in the future when the time comes. I don't want to have to worry about a career too. I'm at a spot right now because I will admit I support two missions in my heart but that leaves no time for self if you know what I mean. No time to get and keep friends. I give all of me but I feel like I get nothing in return. I know it's not all about getting back but it would be nice once in awhile.
A lot of times I feel like people are just saying, "Just forget it" but I can't forget it because I have changed so much. I will admit too that some people don't know everything about me and my life and that is my fault too. I'm just scared of failure and what they will think but I know I shouldn't be because it is God that really matters.
I know that no matter what I'll always be a missionary for God but yet I feel like there is more. That's life for us on earth but I just need to find a field that God wants me in and the balance for that field and be rooted there. Not just settled but ROOTED. It always feels like I have 2 out of the 3 states of mind that I need but never all 3 things at the same time. That is makes us humans, I guess. Can we get all 3 things at the same time or is that where we sin one way or another?
Challenges: Are you a missionary for God where you are now in life?
What state of mind do you need God's Help with?
Let's just say that I'm glad I didn't go overseas like I wanted to before moving to AR. I need people to stay by my side and help me through anything that I'm going through especially if it needs a mission mind set. I can't do mission work alone. No one care. There is so much emotion, mental, and physical things that go into that kind of work. When you don't have the group beside you to share things with it can ware you down fast. That is one reason I decided not to go overseas. I couldn't do it by myself or take care of myself like I should. I have a hard time balancing both right here in the states.
There are some missions that I love and support with all my heart. I could name a couple here in AR but I won't. I also support Compassion International with all my heart. I have a girl that I sponsor from there that I dearly love. I have sponsored here since she was 5 years old and now she is going to be 14 this year. I believe that one of my main missions is having my own children. I can't work for a mission that takes my whole life whether emotionally, mentally, and physically. I know later in life I can't take on 2 or 3, maybe 4, missions at the same time. By that I mean really big and important missions.
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about marriage and my own family and they both can be a mission in themselves. Those are the two that I want to help in the future when the time comes. I don't want to have to worry about a career too. I'm at a spot right now because I will admit I support two missions in my heart but that leaves no time for self if you know what I mean. No time to get and keep friends. I give all of me but I feel like I get nothing in return. I know it's not all about getting back but it would be nice once in awhile.
A lot of times I feel like people are just saying, "Just forget it" but I can't forget it because I have changed so much. I will admit too that some people don't know everything about me and my life and that is my fault too. I'm just scared of failure and what they will think but I know I shouldn't be because it is God that really matters.
I know that no matter what I'll always be a missionary for God but yet I feel like there is more. That's life for us on earth but I just need to find a field that God wants me in and the balance for that field and be rooted there. Not just settled but ROOTED. It always feels like I have 2 out of the 3 states of mind that I need but never all 3 things at the same time. That is makes us humans, I guess. Can we get all 3 things at the same time or is that where we sin one way or another?
Challenges: Are you a missionary for God where you are now in life?
What state of mind do you need God's Help with?
Friday, January 16, 2015
Captivating the Truth
If you read my blog at the start of this year, you will see that my word was "Truth" and it still is but I have another word that I want to add along with that word. That word is "Captivating". Now put the two words together "Captivating the Truth". Do you see the truth in that and hear how strong it is? It can go two ways and for me it is. It is going "do I see how captivating the Truth of God is" and "what is the Truth that is so Captivating in me and how to do I live it?"
I am reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldrege and doing the journal along with it and those two things are really making me think about who I am in God as a women. It is taking me back to my little girl childhood to remember all my dreams and fun memories I made. It is reminding me of all those times that I watched the princesses' movies. It is reminding me of that time where I would always play house or teacher with my little brother. It is also reminding me of those fun times I had on the farm. Those weren't just fun times and dreams but they were how I had adventure. They were how I imaged me life to be someday.
I reading the book for a second time and this time it is through God's eyes and who He is and who I should be in Him. We were all created in the image of God but women and men has different roles but yet they are all who God really is. The first time I read the book it was in college and I was reading it from a girl that wanted a boyfriend type view but that was so wrong. It means so much more when you look at it from God's point of view. When you can say, "Oh! yes I remember that or I remember feeling like that or liking that when I was a little girl", then it is God all over. I always wondered why little girls like princesses, played dress up and with barbies, and why they always wanted to be the mom while playing house. Well, know I see the reason. Yes, I'm a girl and I didn't know the reason for all of that stuff. While working with children, it is just amazing to see it is in the nature of every little girl whether Christian or not.
I also saw that it was normal for us, women, to feel like we need to care, that we want adventure, and that we need to be romance by some strong man. That is what God wants for us and from us as people. He wants to us to care for Him, go on an adventure with Him, and He wants us to be romanced by Him and vice via. I would love to be a part of an adventure with a human guy but right now in this moment in my life while reading this book, I'm understanding I am with God on an adventure. I am loving the children I work for like no other person could ever do. I'm pouring into them the Light of God like they have never seen before and praying that they won't forget it.
I am "Captivating the Truth" of who I am from the inside out. I know for me it was high school that kept me hidden and that didn't make me believe in any of my dreams. It was then that I was brought down to a level that could not get back up from. It was then I didn't think I was beautiful enough or smart enough but now I don't care. It was then that I thought about what other people thought of me but now I'm just like whatever "this is who I am. Take it on leave it?"
To me, once you feel that way on the inside you would want to show it on the outside. That is where I am right now. Yes, I am still learning and working on the inside but I'm also realizing things. Things like how out of date most of my clothes are because one they are out of date and two they don't fit anymore. They are either too tight or too short. There have been a couple of new tends that I have been trying lately, which is usually not me but I like them. I just have to get use to them.
It is funny and strange how this little adventurous, farm girl was hiding in high school and didn't realize it til moving to AR. Just to say where I got the adventurous part from was those walks in the woods on the farm when I was a little girl. The trees, the path that lead to somewhere new each time we walked it, the acorns on the grow not knowing what I was going to find or how many. I could image anything I wanted to in those woods of mine and I probably did knowing my brain as a little girl and if I went out to some woods now I probably still would. It is just in us, women, to dream and plan.
God made us different from the man. We are the loving and nurturing part of God. The man are the warrior and fighting part of God. Two totally different things but yet somehow God is God and He brings one perfect half to the other perfect half without us even knowing for sure. I think for me when I think about it like this, it helps me understand why women and men are so different and it is a good thing. Our sins just get in the way of it. Also, I believe that is why God puts us together to make us a whole and when we are married that our focused, if we are Christians, is to be serving God and for God to be the center of the marriage.
All of you might be saying, "How is she not married yet if she believes all of this?" The answer is: "God is not done with me yet and He isn't done with the man that He has for me" if He has one for me. I just might be serving Him all my life but caring for children in desperate life situations, which is stressful but I would be okay with that because I know I have Him by my side. He is my Helper and Strength.
I am reading the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldrege and doing the journal along with it and those two things are really making me think about who I am in God as a women. It is taking me back to my little girl childhood to remember all my dreams and fun memories I made. It is reminding me of all those times that I watched the princesses' movies. It is reminding me of that time where I would always play house or teacher with my little brother. It is also reminding me of those fun times I had on the farm. Those weren't just fun times and dreams but they were how I had adventure. They were how I imaged me life to be someday.
I reading the book for a second time and this time it is through God's eyes and who He is and who I should be in Him. We were all created in the image of God but women and men has different roles but yet they are all who God really is. The first time I read the book it was in college and I was reading it from a girl that wanted a boyfriend type view but that was so wrong. It means so much more when you look at it from God's point of view. When you can say, "Oh! yes I remember that or I remember feeling like that or liking that when I was a little girl", then it is God all over. I always wondered why little girls like princesses, played dress up and with barbies, and why they always wanted to be the mom while playing house. Well, know I see the reason. Yes, I'm a girl and I didn't know the reason for all of that stuff. While working with children, it is just amazing to see it is in the nature of every little girl whether Christian or not.
I also saw that it was normal for us, women, to feel like we need to care, that we want adventure, and that we need to be romance by some strong man. That is what God wants for us and from us as people. He wants to us to care for Him, go on an adventure with Him, and He wants us to be romanced by Him and vice via. I would love to be a part of an adventure with a human guy but right now in this moment in my life while reading this book, I'm understanding I am with God on an adventure. I am loving the children I work for like no other person could ever do. I'm pouring into them the Light of God like they have never seen before and praying that they won't forget it.
I am "Captivating the Truth" of who I am from the inside out. I know for me it was high school that kept me hidden and that didn't make me believe in any of my dreams. It was then that I was brought down to a level that could not get back up from. It was then I didn't think I was beautiful enough or smart enough but now I don't care. It was then that I thought about what other people thought of me but now I'm just like whatever "this is who I am. Take it on leave it?"
To me, once you feel that way on the inside you would want to show it on the outside. That is where I am right now. Yes, I am still learning and working on the inside but I'm also realizing things. Things like how out of date most of my clothes are because one they are out of date and two they don't fit anymore. They are either too tight or too short. There have been a couple of new tends that I have been trying lately, which is usually not me but I like them. I just have to get use to them.
It is funny and strange how this little adventurous, farm girl was hiding in high school and didn't realize it til moving to AR. Just to say where I got the adventurous part from was those walks in the woods on the farm when I was a little girl. The trees, the path that lead to somewhere new each time we walked it, the acorns on the grow not knowing what I was going to find or how many. I could image anything I wanted to in those woods of mine and I probably did knowing my brain as a little girl and if I went out to some woods now I probably still would. It is just in us, women, to dream and plan.
God made us different from the man. We are the loving and nurturing part of God. The man are the warrior and fighting part of God. Two totally different things but yet somehow God is God and He brings one perfect half to the other perfect half without us even knowing for sure. I think for me when I think about it like this, it helps me understand why women and men are so different and it is a good thing. Our sins just get in the way of it. Also, I believe that is why God puts us together to make us a whole and when we are married that our focused, if we are Christians, is to be serving God and for God to be the center of the marriage.
All of you might be saying, "How is she not married yet if she believes all of this?" The answer is: "God is not done with me yet and He isn't done with the man that He has for me" if He has one for me. I just might be serving Him all my life but caring for children in desperate life situations, which is stressful but I would be okay with that because I know I have Him by my side. He is my Helper and Strength.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Having Dreams
"Have you ever had one of those nights where your mind kept you up all night by dreaming and you actually get up and can't get ready for the day?"
I had one of those nights last night and I woke up with so much less energy. I didn't feel like going to work and I even wore crocs out in the 20 degree weather just because I didn't feel like getting ready fast enough to find my socks. Yes, when it comes to clothes I'm not the most organized person in the world. I will admit that.
Here is how the night went but I won't tell you all of my dream. I fell asleep like any other night with my smells on to calm me down and make it easy to go to sleep. Next thing I know I am awake at 3:00 am when my first alarm goes off and usually I can get back to sleep and sleep for another hour. This morning, for some reason, I couldn't at all. Yes, I went back to sleep or so I thought but I kept remembering and seeing these pictures in my head like it was a dream.
I was thinking about things before I fell asleep and I did things I don't do every night. It was writing a letter to a friend about an idea I had for their business. I don't know if I was worried about that or if it was something more because I also have things changing at work and deciding what to do there. Also, what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I have been thinking about grad school a lot lately. The thing I was thinking about most right before I fell asleep was my friend and the letter I wrote. Worried about what they would replied and if they would reply back.
Yet the dream was a strange dream. It was almost like a nightmare. Not a nightmare like most people would think but there was a lot of verbal fighting going back and forth. That is all I remember and/or saw. I didn't hear a thing in it. It bothered me enough that I talked to God on the way to work in my car. Just told Him about all that is going on in my head right now and what I thought the dream meant for me.
I told Him that I thought it was the devil fighting something that had to do with me because either way whether friend or job or future God was going to be in it and the devil didn't like that. I know with my friend things could be stronger if we got together and supported each other in our doings and that would really make the devil made, I think. I will tell you more about this word in my next entry but I also think it has something to do with the word "captivating". I don't think the devil likes that word when it is used along with God and your heart for Him. I have been reading that women's book and been thinking about how can my life be captivating for God. I want it to be that way for Him.
This is not the first time the devil has tried to get me down. It seems like He tries every year and every year God is stronger and helps me out of that cage. It seems like something goes wrong right at the end of every year and the devil is like, "Oh, I can get her now" and he tries but He doesn't. God has pulled me out of the cage so many times that I can't even count. That is how amazing our God really is. It is funny too and I will admit that I will try and start to read the Bible at the start of every year at least every other day but by the end of the year I get too busy and the devil knows that. I guess I really do need to try and keep my heart and eyes focused on God. Keep my heart captivating for and towards Him.
If I do that, then He will surely lead me where He wants me to be at the right time. I don't have to worry about anything. He has it all planned out and He is (should be) leading me to that dream. Is God leading you to the dream of your lifetime/year?
I had one of those nights last night and I woke up with so much less energy. I didn't feel like going to work and I even wore crocs out in the 20 degree weather just because I didn't feel like getting ready fast enough to find my socks. Yes, when it comes to clothes I'm not the most organized person in the world. I will admit that.
Here is how the night went but I won't tell you all of my dream. I fell asleep like any other night with my smells on to calm me down and make it easy to go to sleep. Next thing I know I am awake at 3:00 am when my first alarm goes off and usually I can get back to sleep and sleep for another hour. This morning, for some reason, I couldn't at all. Yes, I went back to sleep or so I thought but I kept remembering and seeing these pictures in my head like it was a dream.
I was thinking about things before I fell asleep and I did things I don't do every night. It was writing a letter to a friend about an idea I had for their business. I don't know if I was worried about that or if it was something more because I also have things changing at work and deciding what to do there. Also, what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I have been thinking about grad school a lot lately. The thing I was thinking about most right before I fell asleep was my friend and the letter I wrote. Worried about what they would replied and if they would reply back.
Yet the dream was a strange dream. It was almost like a nightmare. Not a nightmare like most people would think but there was a lot of verbal fighting going back and forth. That is all I remember and/or saw. I didn't hear a thing in it. It bothered me enough that I talked to God on the way to work in my car. Just told Him about all that is going on in my head right now and what I thought the dream meant for me.
I told Him that I thought it was the devil fighting something that had to do with me because either way whether friend or job or future God was going to be in it and the devil didn't like that. I know with my friend things could be stronger if we got together and supported each other in our doings and that would really make the devil made, I think. I will tell you more about this word in my next entry but I also think it has something to do with the word "captivating". I don't think the devil likes that word when it is used along with God and your heart for Him. I have been reading that women's book and been thinking about how can my life be captivating for God. I want it to be that way for Him.
This is not the first time the devil has tried to get me down. It seems like He tries every year and every year God is stronger and helps me out of that cage. It seems like something goes wrong right at the end of every year and the devil is like, "Oh, I can get her now" and he tries but He doesn't. God has pulled me out of the cage so many times that I can't even count. That is how amazing our God really is. It is funny too and I will admit that I will try and start to read the Bible at the start of every year at least every other day but by the end of the year I get too busy and the devil knows that. I guess I really do need to try and keep my heart and eyes focused on God. Keep my heart captivating for and towards Him.
If I do that, then He will surely lead me where He wants me to be at the right time. I don't have to worry about anything. He has it all planned out and He is (should be) leading me to that dream. Is God leading you to the dream of your lifetime/year?
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Reaching Out and Making an Impact
As Christian women of today, people see us as just reaching out to the church community around us which is all fine and dandy but what about the other people around us. You hear again and again "you need to reach out in the church", "get involved with a women's or some kind of group", and so on. Now don't get me wrong. As Christians, we need that kind of encouraging community every once in awhile but not all the time.
Now some people might be thinking but that is what being a Christian is all about. It is about being in community and I can't argue and won't argue with that because that is what it is about. We seems to get so caught up in church community that we forget the other communities that we are suppose to be changing or reaching out to. To me, "Reaching out" means getting outside of your comfort zone and church is more of a comfort zone for us then anything else. We need to reach out in our workplaces and more in the community where we are scared what people will think but yet it is awesome to see God at work.
I'm not saying that I am great at it because I'm not. I still look for comfort and encouragement through the church and sometimes even advice but if we are strong enough Christians then we should be able to tell right from wrong. I'm all about serving and reaching out and if you know me you know that is true. I want to make an impact on the world but how can we when we are so focus on how to get the church "building" bigger and better instead of the people inside it.
For me, at my job, it is reaching out and spending time with the children. It is reaching out and trying to give them what they need to succeed. It is sharing thoughts and ideas with all the staff so they can do it too when I'm not there. It is listening to the children's stories. Forget about the chores that have to be done for a little while. I know it is the same with real parents too. Sometimes, most often, we are so caught up in our busy world that we forget to spend time with the children. We forget to play, read, hug, teach, and so on with them but those are ways of reaching out even to the people and children around us.
It is strange how God is showing me things with my job now that I would have never seen with another job. I'm thankful for the job I have now. It is just hard because when you know parents are not reaching out like they should it is sad. Some of their developments that they are behind in can be fixed by just spending time and doing things with them. Reaching out looking for that support group that will help you understand and encourage you to do what you are doing. Someone that you can talk to. For me, at my job, it is the "higher up" people that I can talk to and share ideas with.
It might be strange but I really like these weekly or every two weeks meetings we are having now because it is a for sure time to talk to someone and only one person. Reaching out is more of what we need to do as Christians. We need to get out of our little "bubble" and go win people for Christ even if it is something like volunteering at a school or a shelter just to spend time with the children. I will be honest too and I'm not perfect at all but we need more sermons on how to really reach out in the world and make an impact then how to get involved in the church. The church, as a building, already has enough people to work. It is a smaller place compared to the world outside of it.
It is a rant and that is okay if you think it is. It is something that has just been on my heart a lot lately especially this past week with things going on in my personal life and at work. There is a saying that one of my friends told me in college and it still rings true to this day, "Life is an adventure, if it wasn't then we would have boring lives." Who wants to have boring lives just sitting behind the doors of a church building? I know I don't. I want to get out there and win people for Christ. I want to care for them like Christ cares for me.
Challenge: Get out of your comfort zone (church building) and go live that adventure for Christ! Care for people like Christ cares for you!
Now some people might be thinking but that is what being a Christian is all about. It is about being in community and I can't argue and won't argue with that because that is what it is about. We seems to get so caught up in church community that we forget the other communities that we are suppose to be changing or reaching out to. To me, "Reaching out" means getting outside of your comfort zone and church is more of a comfort zone for us then anything else. We need to reach out in our workplaces and more in the community where we are scared what people will think but yet it is awesome to see God at work.
I'm not saying that I am great at it because I'm not. I still look for comfort and encouragement through the church and sometimes even advice but if we are strong enough Christians then we should be able to tell right from wrong. I'm all about serving and reaching out and if you know me you know that is true. I want to make an impact on the world but how can we when we are so focus on how to get the church "building" bigger and better instead of the people inside it.
For me, at my job, it is reaching out and spending time with the children. It is reaching out and trying to give them what they need to succeed. It is sharing thoughts and ideas with all the staff so they can do it too when I'm not there. It is listening to the children's stories. Forget about the chores that have to be done for a little while. I know it is the same with real parents too. Sometimes, most often, we are so caught up in our busy world that we forget to spend time with the children. We forget to play, read, hug, teach, and so on with them but those are ways of reaching out even to the people and children around us.
It is strange how God is showing me things with my job now that I would have never seen with another job. I'm thankful for the job I have now. It is just hard because when you know parents are not reaching out like they should it is sad. Some of their developments that they are behind in can be fixed by just spending time and doing things with them. Reaching out looking for that support group that will help you understand and encourage you to do what you are doing. Someone that you can talk to. For me, at my job, it is the "higher up" people that I can talk to and share ideas with.
It might be strange but I really like these weekly or every two weeks meetings we are having now because it is a for sure time to talk to someone and only one person. Reaching out is more of what we need to do as Christians. We need to get out of our little "bubble" and go win people for Christ even if it is something like volunteering at a school or a shelter just to spend time with the children. I will be honest too and I'm not perfect at all but we need more sermons on how to really reach out in the world and make an impact then how to get involved in the church. The church, as a building, already has enough people to work. It is a smaller place compared to the world outside of it.
It is a rant and that is okay if you think it is. It is something that has just been on my heart a lot lately especially this past week with things going on in my personal life and at work. There is a saying that one of my friends told me in college and it still rings true to this day, "Life is an adventure, if it wasn't then we would have boring lives." Who wants to have boring lives just sitting behind the doors of a church building? I know I don't. I want to get out there and win people for Christ. I want to care for them like Christ cares for me.
Challenge: Get out of your comfort zone (church building) and go live that adventure for Christ! Care for people like Christ cares for you!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Taking the Little Things for Granted
"Sometimes we take the little things for granted when really they are a blessing in disguise. It makes you fight for something or someone even harder when the little blessing makes you see the bigger blessing they have been trying to get to all along. It helps you understand and love the same thing that another person is fighting for and you will go right alone beside them."
Ok, enough with my own quotes but this week I really felt that way with a friend of mine. God put me at that same place by His own appointment and my eyes were open for my friend. I have seen and heard things from my friend about how they wish they were doing something else. Their passion but yet they are sitting behind a desk.
Don't get me wrong everyone I know has as some kind of desk job and that is great if that is the job God made you for. It hurts, though, to see someone behind a desk that should be doing something they like and bigger. Not only did it open my eyes to my friend's life but it also opened my eyes to my own life in a lot of ways especially with how things are going this week.
It is like God saying to the both of us, "Hold on, I got something better for you but you need this thing to make it there." You need the place or the advertisement or so on. When I say little things, I mean the things that seem like everyday things. I went into the store that my friend was working at without even knowing they worked there. I'll admit I have heard rumors that lead up to an assumption but I never sat on it. I went there for a reason. I had a question to ask one of the employees there.
When I left the place with the things I bought, I felt like God saying, "You really need to pray for your friend." It was pushing on my heart really bad all night afterwards. I also felt like I needed to encourage that friend so I wrote an email. I was going to pray for my friend before but it wasn't as pushy as it felt after going into the store. I was going and needed to pray for my friend because my friend had big things going on the next few days after. Things that would turn the business around and into a bigger business then it is now.
I felt a connection right then and there because I was going through the same thing or close to the same thing. If I have to be honest, it made me feel depressed in a good way, like keep going and keep talking, for my friend and I. I had big things coming up to so it also made me think about who I really am and where I want my life to go. It made me push and pray harder not just for my friend but for me too. It is strange when God put two people on the same wavelength and it is even stranger when those people, who haven't seen each other in years, see each other before events that could change their lives even if it is changing their lives a little bit.
It is hard to explain the exact feelings I felt that day but I know it was an appointment made by God and my attitude did change, if not a lot then at least a little bit. This is a strange way to put it but I felt like an angel watching over people even if it was certain people like my friend. I felt like I could really make a change that day and time. Give my friend the energy to keep going and not give up on the God-given dream they have worked so hard for all these years. To be an angel to people, you just have to know about them, even if it is a little bit and be usable to God in any way He wants you to be usable.
I was out and about that day just shopping and asking questions but God had a lot more in store for me then I ever planned. He had me doing one of my favorite things and that was learning about people. I believe things are going to turn out bigger and better because I listened to God at that moment in time.
Challenge: Do NOT take the little God appointments (things) for granted. They could changes lives for the better.
Ok, enough with my own quotes but this week I really felt that way with a friend of mine. God put me at that same place by His own appointment and my eyes were open for my friend. I have seen and heard things from my friend about how they wish they were doing something else. Their passion but yet they are sitting behind a desk.
Don't get me wrong everyone I know has as some kind of desk job and that is great if that is the job God made you for. It hurts, though, to see someone behind a desk that should be doing something they like and bigger. Not only did it open my eyes to my friend's life but it also opened my eyes to my own life in a lot of ways especially with how things are going this week.
It is like God saying to the both of us, "Hold on, I got something better for you but you need this thing to make it there." You need the place or the advertisement or so on. When I say little things, I mean the things that seem like everyday things. I went into the store that my friend was working at without even knowing they worked there. I'll admit I have heard rumors that lead up to an assumption but I never sat on it. I went there for a reason. I had a question to ask one of the employees there.
When I left the place with the things I bought, I felt like God saying, "You really need to pray for your friend." It was pushing on my heart really bad all night afterwards. I also felt like I needed to encourage that friend so I wrote an email. I was going to pray for my friend before but it wasn't as pushy as it felt after going into the store. I was going and needed to pray for my friend because my friend had big things going on the next few days after. Things that would turn the business around and into a bigger business then it is now.
I felt a connection right then and there because I was going through the same thing or close to the same thing. If I have to be honest, it made me feel depressed in a good way, like keep going and keep talking, for my friend and I. I had big things coming up to so it also made me think about who I really am and where I want my life to go. It made me push and pray harder not just for my friend but for me too. It is strange when God put two people on the same wavelength and it is even stranger when those people, who haven't seen each other in years, see each other before events that could change their lives even if it is changing their lives a little bit.
It is hard to explain the exact feelings I felt that day but I know it was an appointment made by God and my attitude did change, if not a lot then at least a little bit. This is a strange way to put it but I felt like an angel watching over people even if it was certain people like my friend. I felt like I could really make a change that day and time. Give my friend the energy to keep going and not give up on the God-given dream they have worked so hard for all these years. To be an angel to people, you just have to know about them, even if it is a little bit and be usable to God in any way He wants you to be usable.
I was out and about that day just shopping and asking questions but God had a lot more in store for me then I ever planned. He had me doing one of my favorite things and that was learning about people. I believe things are going to turn out bigger and better because I listened to God at that moment in time.
Challenge: Do NOT take the little God appointments (things) for granted. They could changes lives for the better.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
God Does Not Force Us
Jeremiah 1:4-10 (MSG)
4b: This is what God said:
5 “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all
about you. Before you saw the light of day,
I had holy plans for you:A prophet to the nations—
that’s what I had in mind for you.” 6
6 - But I said, “Hold it, Master God! Look at me.
I don’t know anything. I’m only a boy!”
about you. Before you saw the light of day,
I had holy plans for you:A prophet to the nations—
that’s what I had in mind for you.” 6
6 - But I said, “Hold it, Master God! Look at me.
I don’t know anything. I’m only a boy!”
9 7-8
God told me, “Don’t say, ‘I’m only a boy.’
I’ll tell you where to go and you’ll go there.
I’ll tell you what to say and you’ll say it.
Don’t be afraid of a soul.
I’ll be right there, looking after you.”
God’s Decree.
9-10: God reached out, touched my mouth, and said,
9-10: God reached out, touched my mouth, and said,
“Look! I’ve just put my words in your mouth—hand-delivered!
See what I’ve done? I’ve given you a job to do
among nations and governments—a red-letter day!
Your job is to pull up and tear down,
take apart and demolish,
And then start over,
building and planting.”
This is the verse I am going to use for this entry about being forced into something vs. being commanded to do something. Here are the two meanings of the words and I love how they are explained:
Forced: strained, unnatural, or affected
and
Commanded: to have or exercise authority or control over or expertise or mastery.
A friend said it like this or close to it, "We are not forced to do what we like but it is what God has commanded us to do".
I gave my friend the same verses as I have on here because my friend is going through a time of change. To me, God is telling me through the verses that you (us) have the passions and talents to go do what I have told you to do if not I will give them to you. There is no excuse for why you shouldn't be doing it. You should be leaving a legacy behind for Me.
The verses were given to me in a small country church this pass Sunday morning. It was my parents' church and the preacher was so passionate about it. It got me thinking about my own future and what I want to do with it. Am I really leaving behind a legacy that people will remember me for? Am I really making an impact on people's lives? Now it is funny that I ask those type of questions because if you know me and where I work then you would say, "of course you do."
I guess the really question is "am I leaving enough of a legacy behind?" Have I touched the children enough to where they will remember what I have taught them and how I have loved them no matter what? I do always ask that question at the end of the day and I know I should but that is just the kind of person I am. Praying and hoping that they are getting the best care that they can and that I don't miss a beat.
We are not forced to go out into a field that we do not know anything about and work for God in it. God does not force His Children. Instead, He watches over them and gives them the skills and passion they need to get the job done for His Glory, not theirs. He waits for them until they are ready to go onto the next level. He waits until they open the door. It is funny how God works on two people's heart with the same feeling in them and that is to make an impact no matter the way you are doing it.
God knows what He is doing when He is putting each of us together before we are put here on this earth. He has knitted us in our mother's womb with the prefect skills and talents. He wants us to be happy while we are on this earth so we need to pay attention to what we are most passionate about. It might be something hard like mine is but yet very rewarding and everyday, at the end of the day, I know God has done, if not one thing, at least a million of things.
Sometimes we don't see those things but we can trust that they are there and will grow. This is something that I have thought a lot about this week with a couple of things going on and what is going to happen next to those things but we can't even try to understand what God has in store for us down the road. Trusting His Will and letting Him Lead is all we can do until we get to see Him face to face one day in the Great Place called "Heaven".
Friday, January 2, 2015
New Year on an Old Bookshelf
I think this is my last "New Year" entry one. I have been wanting to write one about an old bookshelf I have since October but am just getting to it now. I think it would be a great way to explain how the New Year will go. You have an old bookshelf that you can put new books on about your life in a new year. It is like you can build onto your old year by adding books to it now.
I see it that way as God is giving me new words/phases and goals for this coming year. He is making me a new person and showing me things that really does matter and make me who I am. As I look back at last year, my word was "trust" and there were things that I had to trust God about weather in my personal life or career life. I just had to trust in what God was doing and believe that it was good for me. I will admit that I have had to trust God in different friendships and career spots this year but I'm thankful for each change because it has worked on me in different ways. God had a plan for everything that has happened. 2014 and Trust is my old, dark, wooden bookshelf that my 3rd grandpa made for me when I was very little.
Now the books I'm going to put on it will be about 2015 and the word "truth" and the phase "breaking down walls". The stories are going to be about the real me. Not the fake me that everyone would like to know. Not the me that is trying to fit in with the different groups around me. The real me. I already have 3 titles for 3 books on the shelf. The titles are beauty, the heart, and acceptance.
Just like my grandpa that made the bookshelf. He made me the way I am today. I like the same things he does and spent the first 4 years of my life with him. I was his little girl and always will be. I know he is sitting by God watching over me and giving agreeing with God on what he wants my life like. It is funny how God gives us words or phases to go by each year if we would just listen and how if we get them how they can connect to the year before. I'm wondering right now what is going getting me ready for in the future ahead. Trust and Truth? Those words can go with a lot of things.
This past year was my first year in the same true spot at my job. Can't believe I stayed in the spot for a year. That is part of trusting God. Trusting that He has me in that sport for a reason. The reason was just to be there for the children and my co-workers. It is giving Him the trust that things will work out like they should at work and through people. It is the trust that He will give me the courage to start new things. I know there was a lot more trusting Him then that last year but those are the things I can think about without looking back and reading things.
I'm putting books of truth on a shelf of trust. The truth can be new and/or deeper friendships, new place of living, new goals, or a lot more things. It could even be a truth book of who I really am in God. I can start new things this year and see the truth it brings out in me. I really can't wait to see what kind of books God wants to put on my shelf of trust. It is kind if like I'm a shelf of trust for God and He is giving me His Truth to put out on the world. To change the world. It works both ways. The shelf for me and the shelf for God. The truth for God and the truth for me. It is a win/win situation.
Challenge: What stories of Truth are you going to put on your bookshelf of Trust in God in 2015?
I see it that way as God is giving me new words/phases and goals for this coming year. He is making me a new person and showing me things that really does matter and make me who I am. As I look back at last year, my word was "trust" and there were things that I had to trust God about weather in my personal life or career life. I just had to trust in what God was doing and believe that it was good for me. I will admit that I have had to trust God in different friendships and career spots this year but I'm thankful for each change because it has worked on me in different ways. God had a plan for everything that has happened. 2014 and Trust is my old, dark, wooden bookshelf that my 3rd grandpa made for me when I was very little.
Now the books I'm going to put on it will be about 2015 and the word "truth" and the phase "breaking down walls". The stories are going to be about the real me. Not the fake me that everyone would like to know. Not the me that is trying to fit in with the different groups around me. The real me. I already have 3 titles for 3 books on the shelf. The titles are beauty, the heart, and acceptance.
Just like my grandpa that made the bookshelf. He made me the way I am today. I like the same things he does and spent the first 4 years of my life with him. I was his little girl and always will be. I know he is sitting by God watching over me and giving agreeing with God on what he wants my life like. It is funny how God gives us words or phases to go by each year if we would just listen and how if we get them how they can connect to the year before. I'm wondering right now what is going getting me ready for in the future ahead. Trust and Truth? Those words can go with a lot of things.
This past year was my first year in the same true spot at my job. Can't believe I stayed in the spot for a year. That is part of trusting God. Trusting that He has me in that sport for a reason. The reason was just to be there for the children and my co-workers. It is giving Him the trust that things will work out like they should at work and through people. It is the trust that He will give me the courage to start new things. I know there was a lot more trusting Him then that last year but those are the things I can think about without looking back and reading things.
I'm putting books of truth on a shelf of trust. The truth can be new and/or deeper friendships, new place of living, new goals, or a lot more things. It could even be a truth book of who I really am in God. I can start new things this year and see the truth it brings out in me. I really can't wait to see what kind of books God wants to put on my shelf of trust. It is kind if like I'm a shelf of trust for God and He is giving me His Truth to put out on the world. To change the world. It works both ways. The shelf for me and the shelf for God. The truth for God and the truth for me. It is a win/win situation.
Challenge: What stories of Truth are you going to put on your bookshelf of Trust in God in 2015?
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Speaking the Truth in Love
It is the first day of a new year (2015). I have one word and phase I'm going to focus on this year
plus 3 minor ones. The phase is "Speaking the Truth in Love" and the word is "Truth". The three
minor words are beauty, acceptance, and heart. The main verse for 2015 is Ephesians 4:15. It says:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. -NIV
I'm starting to read a book and hopefully will start talking about it to another friend but it is really an eye opener for me. It is the second time I read it but first time I have read it through God's eye. I will tell you more about it as I read and talk about it. I'm hoping to write phases from it and write what it means to me. Hopefully, you will understand where I'm coming from with this entry.
plus 3 minor ones. The phase is "Speaking the Truth in Love" and the word is "Truth". The three
minor words are beauty, acceptance, and heart. The main verse for 2015 is Ephesians 4:15. It says:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. -NIV
I'm starting to read a book and hopefully will start talking about it to another friend but it is really an eye opener for me. It is the second time I read it but first time I have read it through God's eye. I will tell you more about it as I read and talk about it. I'm hoping to write phases from it and write what it means to me. Hopefully, you will understand where I'm coming from with this entry.
Anyways, the word "truth" hit me in Dec. after a women's Bible study. I will admit some women were sharing their testimonies and some of them just hit me the way they should. I could really relate to what they were saying. The couple testimonies that did hit me was about just being real to people about yourself and letting walls that you built around your heart come down because that is the big way God can work with you. Then I got to thinking about the minor words for this year.
Words that I can be when I let the walls down and share who I really am and get use to who I am in God. I will find beauty and acceptance in my heart of who God made me to really be. I will be more joyful and happy with the ways things are and with life. I won't be so focused on the world but on God and serving other people. The verse I found today when looking at a website and liked it because it had the word "truth" in it and it explains what I should be focused on. If I will speak the truth in love, I will be respected and mature in the body of Christ. Christ is the head of my life so I need to love and respect for Him and He will give me the wisdom that I need to get through each day.
It will be a hard process for me because I was hurt so much in high school when I tried to be the really me and it is scary but I know it is worth it in the end. I have grown up a lot and there are chances and people I don't want to miss because I could not talk. I also feel like I am getting back to the real me. The "free" and "real" me when I was a little girl. I didn't care about a thing in the world.
I would play in the mud and run, sing, and talk to myself like no one was listening. I would swing and feel free like I was flying. I lived out in the country on a farm for the first 4 years of my life and loved it. That was love. I got to run around and did't have to think or care about what people thought of me. I just lived for God and me. I should be that way again. I should share my life story the story of who I really am and what I really like and feel free while doing it. If it pleases God then why am I so scared about sharing it with people. I shouldn't be because that is who God made me to be.
As adults, we tend to lose that freedom and truth because we are so scared. We have so many people to try and please in our career, older friends, church friends, and people who lives where we move to. We also care about what other people think about our children and how we dress. There is so many things to worry about as adults that we forget how to live like a child. We keep that child like self inside where no one can see it but the people who really know us really well and for a long time. That shouldn't be it. We should show that child-like faith and truth all day, every day for the people around us. It will give them something to wonder and ask about.
This is probably the longest entry I have ever wrote or wrote in a long time. I would love to really challenge people to come with me on this "truth search". I am the person that love the deep talks and getting to know people and sometimes even if I don't share my own story, I really love to listen. I love to get together one on one or just a few people in a group because I want to get to know people and I don't want to share my story to just anyone.
I'm loved no matter what and you can be loved too. We are all the same. Broken but yet we are matter to God. That's all that matters. Who cares what other people think of us? We shouldn't. We should be for God and that is all. Let's speak the Truth in Love this year (2015)!
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