My Experience with Peace

         This week has been a tough and busy one for all areas of my life. I could never get a moment of peace even away from the children because my mind kept running non stop. I would keep waking up in the middle of the nights and wake up each morning feeling like I didn't get enough sleep for the next day ahead of me. It was amazing what God has shown me about peace this week and I know He isn't done with teaching me yet about it.
         I came home from work Tuesday and just sat in my quite apartment for a few mins. and I thought, "Wow, it is really quite. This is what peace feels like." Nothing was going on in my head because it couldn't at work because I had to be on top of everything. Yet the children were screaming and yelling non stop that day. It just felt like it was God given peace like God said, "Here is a little of what peace looks like. Doesn't it feel great?!" No one around me and no one to tend to. Now don't get me wrong I like helping people and hanging out but there are those moments where we just need to sit and be in peace with God.
          Yesterday at work was another one of the loud days. The group of children I have is just really loud whether talking or screaming but I love them dearly. I was so stressed at the end of the work day and I could tell because my body was so teased up. I was around the children all day with no break. I did try to do some fun things with them but they didn't last long. The children are also very active. No one can stay in place at one time. Again, I just couldn't wait to get home and be in peace with God. When I got home, I realized that it just wasn't the children be loud and active, it was also my mind on top of that.
           I have a feeling things are going to change in the next few months and I'm not out with that okay. I feel like I just found the spot I was comfortable in and now it will change again. I don't understand where or how God is leading me just yet. I'm trying to break free of the things I need to but it is so hard to think about yourself when you have a job where you are thinking about others.        Instead of coming home and feeling at peace like I wanted to feel like before that week, I came home trying to find that peace but that is when I realized it was in my mind too. I wanted to do things so I would't think about things but yet I wanted to be still and quite even if it was just for a few mins. I tried being quite by turning off all the lights in my apartment and just lying face down in my bed with face under the pillow. I did try on my knees at first by my bedside but I'm getting to old for that. :) To be honest, instead of just lying there quietly because I couldn't, I started to cry and talk to God. I know I am fighting something big when I start that way.
             It went on for a few mins. but again I couldn't make myself stay so I got up and watch some shows on my computer. Something that is mindless. After that is when I felt like I could do things so I got some house chores done. All this to say that it is strange how God can take you to feeling His Peace with where you are at to the devil trying to get in and you don't even know it before it is too late. I just hope and pray that things with get easier. I'm going to try and keep my head up but I don't know how long it will last. If I'm learning anything from this week and on for a little while, it is that I know what it feels like to be in God's peace because I need to be to get through a day at a time.
              Later on, plus having the courage and trust to go through it.