Missionary in the States

        When I first moved to AR and while I was in college, being a missionary sounded great for me. Three years have gone by, now it doesn't sound so exciting. I started a job in AR 2 years ago with the missionary mind set for the rest of my life. It was a mission I could do in the states. It was a way I could change lives.
         Let's just say that I'm glad I didn't go overseas like I wanted to before moving to AR. I need people to stay by my side and help me through anything that I'm going through especially if it needs a  mission mind set. I can't do mission work alone. No one care. There is so much emotion, mental, and physical things that go into that kind of work. When you don't have the group beside you to share things with it can ware you down fast. That is one reason I decided not to go overseas. I couldn't do it by myself or take care of myself like I should. I have a hard time balancing both right here in the states.
        There are some missions that I love and support with all my heart. I could name a couple here in AR but I won't. I also support Compassion International with all my heart. I have a girl that I sponsor from there that I dearly love. I have sponsored here since she was 5 years old and now she is going to be 14 this year. I believe that one of my main missions is having my own children. I can't work for a mission that takes my whole life whether emotionally, mentally, and physically. I know later in life I can't take on 2 or 3, maybe 4, missions at the same time. By that I mean really big and important missions.
         As I'm writing this, I'm thinking about marriage and my own family and they both can be a mission in themselves. Those are the two that I want to help in the future when the time comes. I don't want to have to worry about a career too. I'm at a spot right now because I will admit I support two missions in my heart but that leaves no time for self if you know what I mean. No time to get and keep friends. I give all of me but I feel like I get nothing in return. I know it's not all about getting back but it would be nice once in awhile.
         A lot of times I feel like people are just saying, "Just forget it" but I can't forget it because I have changed so much. I will admit too that some people don't know everything about me and my life and that is my fault too. I'm just scared of failure and what they will think but I know I shouldn't be because it is God that really matters.
         I know that no matter what I'll always be a missionary for God but yet I feel like there is more. That's life for us on earth but I just need to find a field that God wants me in and the balance for that field and be rooted there. Not just settled but ROOTED. It always feels like I have 2 out of the 3 states of mind that I need but never all 3 things at the same time. That is makes us humans, I guess. Can we get all 3 things at the same time or is that where we sin one way or another?

Challenges: Are you a missionary for God where you are now in life?

                    What state of mind do you need God's Help with?