The God of Second Chances

           I'm a girl that believes that God gives a lot of "second" chances or I was that girl. You messed up once you get a redo. Now I think I have turned into a woman that believes if God wants it to really happen, He will give you a real second chance. I always use to think, especially, in high school and after, that God will give you second chances on the little things like talking to someone when you missed the chance to the other day or go to something next year that you missed this year. I always looked for second chances with the little things and not the big things.
          I'm here to say that I am a woman of the God that gives Second Chances. God just knew that He had to get you ready and get you through the tough things in life because part of those tough things were to help you learn who you really were so you could relate to people around you. The past two years haven't been the easiest for me to change back to my "normal" self. After college, I was all for going overseas and on missions. I wanted to have some adventure in my life afterwards. I did and still am having that adventure every day of my life because I am living in AR. If that's not an adventure, I don't know what is.
          Things didn't start out quite like I wanted them to here in the state. I came with the mentality that I was going to be a different person so I tried to fit in with the business type and let me tell you that didn't work at all. It was more stress then I could handle and then I thought I would like to hang around missions type of people but that didn't work either. Everything was just falling apart for me until last Nov. on to until now. A really, dear friend of mine passed away in Nov. The friend was a farmer and loved the outdoors. He would be the that always read to me and take me for walks in the woods. I only started seeing him a few months, maybe a year, before he passed away and I have regretted that ever since because I saw him as he was going downhill with his cancer. There was only maybe one time that he remember who I was, His darling, little country girl.
          Things just went south from there for me. I started thinking differently about my job that I had then. It wasn't for me. I couldn't be a missionary and that is what the job was like only in the states so all that adventure changed for me and it finally came to an end this July. Then of course, things just seemed like that kept happening after that. My grandma, last grandparent, passed away. I became low on money. I had to fight for some things. Things were just really stressful and I had to grow to be able to handle them.
             Then in Oct. I went on this 10 days vacation with a friend of mine that knew the friend the passed away. It was his wife. She asked me a question the 1st night we were in a hotel that I will never forget. The question was: What do you like about him? and she would just keep talking about him throughout the whole trip and I took in every word. I go see this women try to every month because she means a lot to me and where they lived means a lot to me. I'm a country girl at heart and that is the only farm that I know of. It was where the first 4 years of my life memories were made. Most things that God does we cannot understand why at all but now that I look back I see why. I was really stressed in July with the things going on and couldn't wait for the trip but I saw a friend during the month that I was glad to see because it had been awhile.
             Sorry if I embarrass this friend. You can get me later if you read this. I was so stressed back then I didn't even think about going up and talking to that friend. Bad things started to happen and I started learning a lot more about who I was and just a lot more about God and what He can do in my life with other things that were happening. Important for me to throw this in there: we haven't talked for about what 3 or 4 years like actually talked face to face. I would bump into this friend every so often here and there and get really nervous and shaky if I saw that friend. I would just run out the door or that is how I would feel afterwards.
               The reason I see God as a God of second chances in a whole new light is this. I probably have talked to this friend face to face for the 1st time in those 3 to 4 years without being nervous or shaking at all. It was a little awkward still but where is the fun if there is none of that? I can honestly say that I felt like my normal self just standing there listening to my friend talk. To me, when you can go up and pick up from where you left off 4 or 5 years ago, the feeling way, yet talk about what is going on now because you kind of have been keeping track of things going on with that friend. That means a lot to me and tells me everything is good. Maybe I am looking too much into this or too Godly into it but for me and the past 2 years and really just these past 6 months that I had, God must have done something to me because we could both tell you that wasn't the me from college that my friend knew.
               Maybe this is a sign and a second chance to make things right whatever that may mean? Maybe it means that God actually has a hold of everything that is going on and something good can come from it? Maybe nothing will happen from it and it was just a step that I needed to take for myself to show myself that I have grown and still am growing and learning about the tough things in life? I'm not trying to understand what God is doing but I am thanking Him for all He has done so far in my life.