I feel like I've hit rock bottom. Not the bad rock bottom where you feel like you're hopeless but the other one. The one that you are done doing things by yourself. The one where all you can do is rely on God because you have no idea about your life and where it is going. The one where you feel like you've tried everything but nothing is working. The one that you see that you need to be committed to everything on your life because they are connected. If you are not committed, things will not go smoothly.
Let's just say I've hit that special rock bottom that is before the age of 30. Here is everyone getting married and having a family by that age and I am over here totally confused. I haven't even started my dream yet. I haven't even fully learn to take care of myself fully I am seeing. I feel like I am going in a downward spiral when I am suppose to be going up. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a whole new world lately for some reason in many different ways and I don't know how to handle those ways.
Ways like: staying at a job I like and eating healthy and acting healthy so I don't gain weight. Trying to see where to go with my anxiety troubles. Can I fix them without meds.? Seeing that everything costs money and that I don't have enough while living on my own. Seeing all my friends getting married and I am nowhere near that. Having certain feelings go away that I once had. Asking and getting help when it is hard. Accepting it too.
Trying all these new and so called fabulous things to help me when really they don't seem to. Learning I am going to have to watch what I eat and how much I excise. Getting routines that are healthy. Do you see now why I feel like I have hit rock bottom? I have no idea what to do next in anything. I feel like I am frozen in time or going backwards like I said earlier. While I am going through all of this, I only have a few friends near me to talk about these things with. If this is what the 30s will be like for me, the next 7 months can go by really slow because as of now I am not looking forwards to my birthday. Something needs to change for me to look forwards to it.
I need something to look forwards to but what. I need something to get me out of this rocky pit but what. New passion? New goal? New big area to be in? New church? More friends? I've tried new jobs in the past and new apartment this past year but I am still at the bottom it feels like. I am trying to go exploring more to make it more interesting but you can only do so much by yourself. If anyone has any ideas on how to get out from the bottom, please let me know.
Let's just say I've hit that special rock bottom that is before the age of 30. Here is everyone getting married and having a family by that age and I am over here totally confused. I haven't even started my dream yet. I haven't even fully learn to take care of myself fully I am seeing. I feel like I am going in a downward spiral when I am suppose to be going up. I feel like my eyes have been opened to a whole new world lately for some reason in many different ways and I don't know how to handle those ways.
Ways like: staying at a job I like and eating healthy and acting healthy so I don't gain weight. Trying to see where to go with my anxiety troubles. Can I fix them without meds.? Seeing that everything costs money and that I don't have enough while living on my own. Seeing all my friends getting married and I am nowhere near that. Having certain feelings go away that I once had. Asking and getting help when it is hard. Accepting it too.
Trying all these new and so called fabulous things to help me when really they don't seem to. Learning I am going to have to watch what I eat and how much I excise. Getting routines that are healthy. Do you see now why I feel like I have hit rock bottom? I have no idea what to do next in anything. I feel like I am frozen in time or going backwards like I said earlier. While I am going through all of this, I only have a few friends near me to talk about these things with. If this is what the 30s will be like for me, the next 7 months can go by really slow because as of now I am not looking forwards to my birthday. Something needs to change for me to look forwards to it.
I need something to look forwards to but what. I need something to get me out of this rocky pit but what. New passion? New goal? New big area to be in? New church? More friends? I've tried new jobs in the past and new apartment this past year but I am still at the bottom it feels like. I am trying to go exploring more to make it more interesting but you can only do so much by yourself. If anyone has any ideas on how to get out from the bottom, please let me know.
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