Where is that Hope When You Need it?

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, 
but those you HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:30-31



          I forgot about this verse until I heard it again at church last night. The word that stuck out to me this time was "Hope". It is funny that it happened then because I was just thinking about how I needed a verse with the word "Hope" in it. I was wondering what Hope really was and how I could get back to it. I know I need more then this one verse to understand Hope but it is a start. This past week was just hard for me too. I mean the verse says all the feelings that I was feeling this week. I was feeling tried and weary. I fell some many times and messed up a lot with myself and the children. I really felt like my strength needed to be renew because things were just not going my way and they still aren't perfect.
              I know God is in control and He knows what is best for me but it is hard to have that hope in Him when you can't see the good side of things right now. That is where I am at. I feel alone but I know I am not. I feel like I need to be noticed to be happy but I don't. How amazing it would be just to be on the wings of God and just soar freely with Him without thinking about any of those things? I want to run and not grow weary and walk and not grow faint. I will tell you, though, not only emotionally but physically too I feel those ways. I can only walk for about 10 mins. and I am out of breath. I feel like I will faint if I walk on longer then that. I would love to get back to running like I use to in high school but I get so weary when I do now.
            I get so easily tried and weary no matter what I try to do. I know I need to take better care of my body but that even wears me out at times. My falling this week would be being mad at my friends when I should be happy for them and eating candy when I really should be eating healthier food. I even went a little hard on the children this past week then I should have been. I didn't even thank God in the moments of hard times when I saw the little blessings. I waited til Friday to do that.
             I just need to find that HOPE in the Lord again. I just need Him to show me that there is HOPE in my life for something down the road. Right now, the problem is I have no goal or no plan for myself. I don't know where the Lord is leading me at all. I hear everyone take about their big future plans when what I thought were my future plans are in the process of getting shut down but I am trying to find new plans and new goals. I haven't given up yet. If I can get to that new plan or goal, then maybe that is how God will renew my strength in Him along with Hope.
            I will have to say that a lot of things this week that happened was because I walked on the strength of God. I was proud of myself because I didn't cry during the unplanned things that happened but that still took a lot of strength and wore me out to where I needed a lot of sleep. I love hoe God takes old verses that you know and turn them into meaningful things that are going on in that moment of your life. That is one great thing about the Bible. I remember learning this verse in college because I needed it, I am sure but now hear God is bringing it back to me because I need it in a whole different life and season. I can honestly say that I need it more in this season because it is way worse then when I learned it in college.
               Everything I'm trying to decide and thinking on is bigger and has a bigger impact on my life then when I first heard this verse in college. I might hold on to this verse for awhile like this could be my verse of the week or rest of the month. This could have been a verse to go on my last entry if I would have remembered it by myself. It is a good one for change and anxiety too. I'm going through a changing season so that is why I said that. God has taught me that He is my Provider, Love, Peace, and Daddy. Now He is teaching me that He is also my Hope in Everything. God is your Hope. You just have to remember to look to Him for the Hope that will never leave you.
                The answer to "Where is that Hope When you Need it" is: It is always with you. You just have to remember to ask for it when you get tried or weary. When you stumble and fall. God is your Hope and He will help you get back on your feet. He will give you the courage and strength to keep on going even through the hardest seasons of your life. It is in God's Strength and Provision for you. It is in God's Freedom that you have as His beautiful daughter or handsome son. His Hope never leaves you. It is always there but we just need a way to remember that and keep our eyes set on it, instead of other things.