This Isn't How I Thought My Life Would Turn Out

          I got this poem idea base from a college friend of mine. She wrote one about her own life and I thought I would change it up a bit to fit my life. I asked if I could and she said, "Sure" so here is my version of it. It is a little bit longer then hers.

This Isn't How I Thought My Life Would Turn Out

This isn’t how I thought my life

would turn out

at the age of 6, watching Disney Princess 

movies and wishing I was a princess waiting 

for my prince to come rescue me. 

Yes, I was one of those little girls. 

Mainly, wishing my life would turn

out like Belle's.

Living in a large castle and having it

all to myself. 

At age 6, you don’t think of anyone but

yourself.

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
in the 3rd grade. Moving to a new place.
Having a boy ask me out for the first time.
Went home so excited but my parents
said I couldn't date til I was 16.

This isn’t how I thought my life
would turn out
in the 9th grade, when my backpack was
full of knowledge and folded up friend notes.
I was going to be a teacher when I grew up
after having a couple of kids with the man of my dreams.
That was when I was going to start dating.  

This isn’t how I thought my life
would turn out
as the senior year of my high school
career starts and I have college applications
in my back pocket and an bachelor of Science
in Elementary Ed.
degree in my hopes and dreams and
thoughts of meeting a college boy
in between classes or in the cafeteria.
Wanting to get away from that small,
country town onto something bigger
and better.

This isn’t how I thought my life

would turn out
after one college major changes,
leadership spots,
and a rock solid group of friends.
teachers who truly cared,
and no dates to write about in my diary,
even after 5 years in college.
College was nothing what I expected it
to be but how can it be when I went
to a small, Christian one.

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
after moving out of state. Not
just to any state but the state of
AR. The Wal-Mart capital of the
world. Yes, I would see the city
and state on things in Wal-Mart
but I swore I would never live
in that state, much less that city.

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
turning 25 and not yet married to the
man of my dreams like I wanted to be.
Then hoping that he would be the one for me to 
live the rest of my life with.

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
after years of fighting with worry
and anxiety. All that keeping me
from the things I should have
done in the past and just now
realizing it.

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
after 4 different job changes in
almost 9 years. Gone to 4 different
countries. Still single and
not even been on one single
date yet or none that I considered
a true date. Supporting people
that I love and care about
deeply.

This isn’t how I thought my life
would turn out
after turning 30 and realizing
my childhood dreams are still the dreams
I hold onto while my friends whisper
"it will happen someday, Tiffney, just
keep praying" as if that's suppose to help. 
I told myself before 30 that I would defiantly 
be married and have children by then. 

This isn't how I thought my life
would turn out
Realizing that I need to really let go
of some things but if I do then what.
Those are the things I have been holding
onto for all of my life so far. Realizing
that I want so much more
now in life but how I am totally at a
lost with all of it. 

This isn’t how I thought my life
would turn out.



Written By: Tiffney Wilson

Written On: August 5th, 2018