Going into my Third Year in AR

        "When I was just a girl, I thought I had it all figured out. See my life would turn out right and I would make it here somehow but things don't always come that easy and sometimes I would doubt."-From the song "Free to be Me"

           Who would have thought that I would have made it this long in AR? Who would have thought that I would even pick and like AR for a place to call home? Not me 3 years ago but thanks to some friends, I do call it my home now. Northwest AR is the place to be and since being here I have learned so much about life and just myself. There is no beautiful or peaceful place that I would rather be learning and living then here. It is funny how last night co-workers and I were talking about living in AR and people's ideas of it and my idea before I moved here to be honest but I kept thinking I'm only from MO but I have lived 3 years here and it is nothing like people think.
            I'm hoping to stay 5 years and that would even be a bigger step for me. I have lost friends and gain friends. I have lost jobs and gain jobs. I have lost myself but gain it back again. In all this, I have learned who I really am and it all goes back to the very start before I graduated college. Where to start is the question? I will start with my friends first. I love them all whether I keep in touch or not as often as I should but I will admit I haven't really kept the same group of friends for the 3 years. Maybe for the first 1 and a half but things started to change. It started to change I feel like because my job changed and that changed me where sometimes I feel like only certain people get me. I feel like I want to "work" with more of the challenging children whatever that might mean. God has given me a heart for the abused, negelted, and challenging children and He has shown me that this past year and a half.
             I went from being a preschool teacher to a "mom". I went from working days to working nights. Working nights, you have no friends just saying. Those to rolls are very different that is one thing I have learned this past year. This past year I have changed friends some and I feel like God brought us together for a reason and took others away for a reason. God wanted me to focus on Him and see what He could do in my heart and it has been a lot. Teacher to mom by self with people. I've had all of those expereinces. Worked the first 3 months being the only person there for the children and knowing how things ran. That helped me become more of a leader and I love it. I've had 3 really chellenging children but loved everyone of them plus more. My heart is starting to overwhamle with love for the children because I'm letting go of other things.
                I'm starting to understand what it is like to be a "mom" and to serve the Lord in who I really am. I will say that through this job God gave me some great people that I know I have things in common with and can talk to whenever. I'm starting to see where the Lord what's my life to go and it is not what I thought. It is not to be any kind of teacher but maybe a threapist of some sort. I love working one on one with the children. I also found out that I'm not all that "normal" myself. I never was and people will just have to like me for me or not at all. I grew up the way I did for a reason and I like it and thank God everyday for it. I might be a sweet but sassy, country girl but what more can you ask for, right?
                I've tried to make time for God every morning or night and just read and write His Words. I'm trying to find hobbies that I like. I still have a long way to go it feels like to find out why I act the way I do and how to level it out. I just can't wait to see what God has in store for me because I know if I let Him run the show it will be nothing that I ever thought of. It hasn't been since I have moved to AR. AR was a new place for me and it is bringing me new life. The person God made me to really be. That's one life goal done. I wanted to be a new person when I moved to a new place and without even thinking about it I have been these past two years.
                One big thing I forgot to say is that I did cut my hair really short and for those of you who know me really well. That is a goal in itself. I always said that I wanted to go on a adventure but like an old friend of mine use to say: "Life is not always perfect, but who would want that. If that was the case we would have boring lives."
                 God is 1st in my life and everything else comes after Him. I am free in Him. Free to do anything that He wants me to do. Nothing is holding me down. It is an adventure everyday because I try daily to seek Him in everything that I do. Said by me and I believe that and I hope I live that outwardly most of the time.