Overseas Missions Are Not For Me

          I've been thinking about what I'm going to write for quiet sometime now and I think it is about time to change things and it will start, hopefully in the Fall and/or Winter. I know I started out writing on this blog about how I would love to do missions overseas and yet I still do love to travel but only for a short time not like a year or 2 years like I wanted to. Missions here in the states are hard to do too especially when dealing with super hard but adorable children. I think it is harder because you know in states have the resources if only parents would look for them and overseas don't. Either way, I just don't think my body and personality is made out to deal with those things. God made me and He made me a way for a reason.
          I LOVE the children I work with now and I don't say that lightly. I honestly don't think I could love another person like I love these children and my future husband will just have to understand that until we get children of our own if God willing for both. God is calling me to a different path, I think. One that I can handle better and settle with better in life and everything that goes along with it. It still might not be the easiest but I think I would love it.
          I keep thinking about my job that I have now and what I thought about when I started the job, which was "I want to live overseas for a few years". Well, now I can tell you I am thinking differently because it is really hard here in the states and if it is hard here then how much harder will it be overseas. God knew what He was doing with me and my stubbornness. He just had to show me that "no, you don't want this (missions with children overseas) but you do want this (OT)". It is a way of making a difference but it fits my personality and interests.
          I've always been interested in different behaviors and sickness since I was in college and it all started with Autism and now it has progressed to Sensory Disorders. You can work anywhere you want from clinics to schools. There are places and positions that you can move up so you will never be bored. If you are done with children then you could do something with adults. It seems to me that in the OT field you always have a choice. Whereas right now, I really don't have much of a choice it is either running a daycare/preschool or working at one as a teacher, assistant teacher, or other positions that doesn't have to do with children.
          I'm starting this Fall at the community college in AR taking classes to be an OTA if the college can get that program up and running this Fall of 2016. I like the challenging jobs if you cannot tell but this job in a way will be a lot easier for me just because I can deal with one of two children at a time instead of 6 children that need OT. Not only the children perspective but there is a lot of ways to work if you are an OT. I was thinking about adult OT earlier and if I had to do it and I will for internships for college. I want to do adults that have had cancer and forgot how to do things or adults with Altimizer's Disease because both of those are really close to my heart. Starting out as a OTA, I can go to a COTA or just a OT with a Master's but I will have to go to grad school for that.
         I can't wait to start on that path and see where God takes me. At the same time, though, I am scared and worried that I won't like it and that it will be too hard for me. I know, though, that God is with me every step of the way and that it will be an adventure with Him. People tell me, sometimes, that He has me where I am now because it is out of my comfort zone, which might be a little bit right but it is just like I'm working at a daycare, which is what I'm use to just harder children. Whereas, this whole OT idea I have to go to college again and learn new things and be in new places. It would just be a whole new chapter for me and I think I'm ready for that. 8 years in the preschool setting is enough for me. I'm ready to move on with my life and settle with a career and I don't want it to be preschool surprisely.
         I want my career to be a stay at home mom but for now I just have to have one that I could be happy with being my career and that I could live comfortably on if that career doesn't come along now or ever. As I'm getting more independent, I'm seeing that preschool jobs are not that high of paying jobs and I knew that to start with. As I'm getting more responsibilities, which I don't mind, I need to make more money to pay all the bills. This is just life, I guess and the process of getting into your 30s even though I have 3 more years but I would like to have a career set then or near then.