Breathe

        "Breathe"? What do you think of when you just hear that word? "Sabbath"? Another word to think about and figure out what it really means. Wait! One more word: "Rest". These words seem to not be in my mind at all especially lately with everything going on and changing around me. God meant for the "Sabbath Day" to be a day of rest. He had a day of rest after He finished with Creation so He wanted us to have one at the end/start of our work week and get ready for what's ahead.
        The study is in Springdale and I got invited to go by one of my friends earlier in May. There are 4 of us that car pool to the house where the study is and my friend knows the lady that is in charge of it. The study has a video to watch and then it has a book of questions to go over after the video and then a whole week worth of lessons for 5 weeks. It is suppose to help us look at how to rest and find time with God mainly on the Sabbath.
          There is one thing that caught my attention last night at the study and that was that "work is a gift to us from God so if we are working too hard and don't have boundaries or margin in our lives around work then we use it wrong". We are so focused on work or anything else for that matter more then God. I just use work because right now that is one of my main problems. I know I don't rest in anyway because of work. The lady in the video also said, "that boundaries and margins are gifts from God too". Life is just full of things are we just have know know how to balance them out especially as women because we have more, busier things to do then men. We are the nurturers of the household.
            We are the strong yet emotional ones and men just don't understand that. It is something that, us, women sometimes don't understand ourselves. If work is a gift from God, then it should also be fun while doing it and you should be happy. If you feel hurried and busy all the time then it isn't a gift and you are putting too much into it. If it is a job that you just can't handle because of your personality, then maybe God made you for something else that is different. "Our jobs should be a picture of what Heaven is like here on earth and if it doesn't then we are doing something wrong."
            God wants us to enjoy Heaven but at the same time He wants us to enjoy what we have here on earth. He wants us to see a peek of what Heaven is like. It is not stressful, loud, confusing, upset, and so on like a job might be. Heaven is peaceful, quite, put together, happy, and a lot of other things that give you a good feeling. I know people on earth are not perfect and you will have hard times at your job that you just have to look past but when it gets to where it is dragging you down everyday and you can't get any rest from it or even breathe because you are working too much and hard. That tells me that you just need to ask God, "Am I suppose to be here or do You have another plan for me?
             "God is our One Source and the places He takes us through are only our resources to get us where He wants us." This quote, to me, means that God is the only One that can get us the energy and timing that we need to do anything. What we do here on earth, whether our job or how we raise children or how we look, are just little resources to get us to what God has planned for us and most importantly, Heaven. He takes us to places and situations so we can learn, get wisdom, and only get stronger from then on. I know that I have gained a lot of wisdom about myself, Him, and other people throughout the past few years after college. I have learned a lot of new things too.
              I've learned a lot about what OT is for children and adults. That it is needly badly and will continue to grow as the years go on because it is needed. I've learn a lot about the disorders that I like like sensory processing disorder to Autism. I learned what children in abused homes looked and acted like and what I could do to change that. I learned a lot of different ways to handle a lot of different children and that there is a big need in AR for foster care and homes. My eyes have been opened to how many children need help just in the state of AR and around the United States, not just in foreign counties.
              I feel like soon like in the next year or 2 or 3 years that it will be time for me to slow down, if not now and just look back at all I learned because really it has been a lot in job and personal wise with friends and life. I need to understand where God wants me to go from here. I never really had a "break" from work. I have always gone into job after job. Yet I feel like no one understands that even if I care to explain it to them I still don't think they would understand it. I've been through some hard years here in AR and I haven't stopped to think about them since I've been down here. Even my thoughts about where I am in AR has changed but I don't know to what.
              Everything and everyone wants "nothing" to do with me right now or forever. I just at that spot in life where I need some guidance but I don't have time for it because of my job plus I'm not a person that goes and shares my story with just anyone that I see face to face. I've never been that girl and never will be. It has to be people that I know really good and that I can trust or at least feel like I can trust with my story. I know it is strange here I am sharing it on a blog with who knows looking at it but yet I can't share it with people I do know face to face. In a way, it's easier because then if they reject you or think you are strange, you won't see their faces or hear their words.
               Anyways, just a "little" something that has been going through my mind while I'm in a big house alone watching a dog.