For A Purpose

           My Monday this week, which was today (actually a Tuesday) was not bad at all at work. It was calmer then I left it but we had a lot of things going on. One of the little boys didn't throw his big fits like I thought he would because I haven't been there for 3 days. Thought he had to get use to me again but he didn't. We picked up from where we left off and that was a good place. He wanted me to do things for and with him and he was so sweet when asking.
           There was a new staff there because the other staff had a meeting so he was trying to push limits with that staff so bad that I had to take him and yes, I did get bit but he was good after that. I know there are better ways to get the anger out by hey why not. Right? He did look at the bit after he did it and asked me "did it hurt?" and I said "yes" so he kissed it to make it feel better. That was really sweet. Probably the sweetest moment that I have had in awhile there. He also asked me to rock him at nap time again and honestly, I couldn't lay him down in bed when he was asleep.
            After the biting and kissing on hand incident, I just wanted to keep holding him and hugging on him because you know that is what he needs. I was holding on to him tight for a few mins after he fell asleep and just thought about things and it is strange what God can speak to you while just holding a little boy and through everything that went on before that. I got to thinking how I am close to 30, what only 3 more years, and how I'm not married and have no children of my own. Then God turned those thoughts around for the better in a way.
            I got to thinking about the other 2 boys I had before this boy and how they need a good home and a Godly man in their life too. They act out the way they do because that is all they see. Then I got to thinking about adoption again when and if I get married and having my own little children's home but more and more I want it to be a little boys' children's home. Now most of you probably think I'm crazy but let's be honest, boys are a lot more active and fun to be around then us girls that are emontional and very talkative. Yet boys like to do more things outside like fish, get dirty, plant things, and so on. For those of you who are wondering, yes I was somewhat tomboy at heart when I was little, when I didn't care about what other people thought about me.
             I would take those cussing, hitting, biting, and kicking boys anytime. They just need more trust and love then anyone else. They need to know that they can trust you and then they are the sweetest things on earth. Here is the Jesus and us turn around learning part of this story. You knew there was going to be one, didn't you? Always is.
             It is like when God takes us in as His Children. Yes, we have a choice and yes, we can chose to follow or not. We all have to admit that we are not prefect when God takes us in even those people that grew up in a Christian family and went to church every Sunday. God knows our past, present, and future. He knows what we are going to do but He loves us anyways. He starts out gentle with us and then if we are testing the waters too much, He will get tough but that is because He loves and cares for us a lot. He wants us to come to Him so we can be safe.
              "You are here to be safe. We are keeping you safe." are things that we are told to tell the children the first few days they are with us or if they start to talk about their problems or relatives. We use would like, "safe choices", "good choices", "stay down because we want you to be safe", and so on. God want that same thing for us. He wants us to be safe in this big old, sinful world. We were made to be different so God is keeping us that way. We still test Him at times when new things come into our lives or at least I do. I question, "God, is this what you really want for me? Can I do this?" Sometimes He answers, "yes" and sometimes He answers , "No, but I am with you."
                  We might fight God non-stop to the point where He does have to do something dramatic in our lives to get our attention just like when I have to hold a child so he won't kick or hurt anyone else. God gets our attention before we hurt anyone else and though we might not think about it then, looking back on the situation we might see it later. I know I had times where I have had disagreements, fights, and what nots with friends but it was because I was getting too close or too much in their personal space and they didn't like it and/or it was time for me to be that close yet.
                  God can even use the good things to get us to back away or break apart. We might be going to a good Bible study away from someone that we thought was going to be a close friend or move away from a friend and we lose touch but yet we have the chance to start all over again. It just depends on how you will let God get your attention and sadly for me it is when God takes the things away from me. It is then that I regret, "I should have said this sooner or done this sooner but now I don't have the chance." "If I would have done it sooner, maybe it wouldn't be so hard now."
                   Just like with this little boy, God is showing me about giving him time to be with me. Be patience with him because I was and still am being patience with you. You are more stubborn then this little boy will ever be (Amen to that!). Let go of the things I have told you to let go of and just trust me. Let me love on you like there is no tomorrow and if you let me do that then you will be safe in my arms with the best gifts ever. Let me give you the grace and mercy you deserve even though you don't think you really deserve it. You can give the same things to that little boy if you will let me work through you. 
                   God-"I'm your Protector (keep you safe) and your Provider (will give you everything you need) just like you are to those children. Let me do my job and you do yours." Amen. Thank you, God.