Trying to Change a Lifestyle

           Having to change things and commit myself to change is hard for me especially if I don't have anyone to hold me accountable for it. I need to change my lifestyle in all different ways like eating and excising. I need to eat less and excise more. I could also eat more healthy then I do now. I need to do these things because my body is slowing down and I am getting old.
           I feel like I have to change something in my life every 6 months it seems and it could be in any area of my life. I can agree, though, that I have slowed down a lot since college. I have to go to the older children instead of the babies and preschoolers I used to do. I need to firugre out how to get more energy if I want to help them ever again. I also have to either deal with or cover up my axienty with meds or in a healthier way.
            I want to get back down to the weight I was in high school or close to it. I am going to try and stick with my yoga at least once a week. I would like to do it a couple times a week. We'll see. I'm planning to start walking around my apartment complex this week. I'm going to try and mix smoothies in Mason jars. Get 5 of them ready on Sunday for the week. More salads and meats and veggies for lunch and supper. More fruits for snacks.
            I am also going to try and cut out bad carbs. That will be really hard for me since I was a runner in high school. I love my pasta and noodles and sandwich with bread is an easy lunch to make fast. The good thing is I have the time to cook now so I need to take that time and cook for real. I am also cutting out potatoes which isn't as hard for me but still pretty hard. It also takes a lot of time to plan for a healthy week or months of meal. Living a healthy lifestyle is hard if you don't know how to do it right off the bat. I thought I did. I mean I didn't pig out as a child. My parents had rules about when to eat certain unhealthy food like ice cream and pop but now with all this stress I feel like I am pushing those rules aside. Wouldn't be bad if I can back on those rules and made some new ones for myself.

              I am going to even start keeping another journal where I put what I eat and how and if I excise everyday because that is another good way to keep track of things. It is so funny because if you truly now me, you know I have a journal for everything. My Healthy Journal as it is going to be called will be my 4th or 5th journal I have laying around my apartment. I am also going to try to get my anxiety under control with doing all these healthy foods and excise and see if I can't get off the meds alone. I think the meds are part of my weight gaining problem, not just my age. They might be changing my hormones so I have to eat and excise right to balance them out. To get to where I have no my anxiety will have to be a mind and spiritual thing and change too. It is like I am changing all of who I am just because I want and need to be healthy.

              I can't remember when I fell into this trap of unhealthiness. It was probably in college but we had to walk everywhere so the walking helped a lot and we had a cafe, which didn't have that great of food but it was better for you then Reman Noodles. I need to get back into the health lifestyle because I think part of my anxiety and depression now is low self esteem because I have gained a lot of weight and I don't like how I look at all right now. I feel like no guy would want my right now and being almost 30 that is not a good feeling to have when you want a guy in your life. It is just hard to commit to something like a different lifestyle. I don't know it seems like it would be easy but to actually do it is so hard. Thinking that way takes me onto marriage. If I can't change my lifestyle for the good and health for just me, how can I for another person even when I love them a lot?

                I guess it goes to show that you do need to love your body as the temple of God and once you get that down, you can love someone else. Take care of yourself first and then take care of other people second. I just hope that all I have to do is a diet change and nothing more is seriously wrong with me. I don't feel bad and nothing hurts but I didn't feel sleepy and low self esteem at times. I use to smile and brag about how I didn't need to go on any diets or certain lifestyles but now I am regretting that because I do need to do that now. This is another thing that I can keep updating on here. I can keep writing about how I am doing and what I found that works for me and so on if you all are interested. I keep thinking that I need to pray about treating my body like the temple of God that it is but I haven't yet. It is funny because you always think about mistreating it with drug usage and other bad things but yet a certain diet or way you are eating could be mistreating it too. 

                God gave us all wonderful temple of God and He trusts us enough to take care of them on this earth as best as we can. If we just stuffed it with junk food and other things then we are not treating God like we should. That is what I am learning from this hard moment from my life. Strange I know but in a way it is still needed, if not today, then tomorrow or in the future for some reason. God wouldn't put me through it if it wouldn't turn out for His good.