Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord- Part 2

      This is about how the Lord has opened more of my eyes two years almost down the road after June 2012. Since I have gotten back from Guatemala in 2012, I have lost my 1st job and got a new one that I love and have been learning a lot about my life through that job. My friends have been by me yet apart from me in a lot of ways. I've had some that stayed and others that went. I can tell you know that I had no idea that I would be where I am today back in June 2012 and I give that credit to God and the children of Guatemala. Guatemala is a place that will always be on my heart and I went back last summer in 2013 but not going this summer but that doesn't mean I don't love it just the same. I left half of my heart there so someday I will go back, Lord Willing.
       A lot of things have changed and it would take me forever to explain a whole year's worth of things that happened so I won't. I will just give you the main ideas. With my new job that I have been with for a year and more now, God has put me sort of in the leadership position for awhile now. It's been hard but it has brought out a lot of who I can really be. I think God did that in a way so He could show me if need be I could run a children's shelter or orphanage someday or that is how I look at it to get through the hard days. I'm learning that I can be more outgoing and that I make mistakes too. I'm learning how to listening to other people's ideas and putting them into works so it makes my life easier but yet I'm still trying some ideas of my own.
         God has also been showing me more about my friends within that year and how to be real with them and how they have been real with me. That they will stick by me no matter what. How I can trust them after my past of hurts. Not all people are the same. I've changed some in group settings but it's for the better.  Lately it has been feeling like I'm going back to the friends I made the first year in Guatemala which is a fun feeling. A feeling that I really missed. Feeling like I'm starting over in some places.
         That starting over could be because in a way I am with myself. I'm taking a Bible study class with older woman that is over the book "Boundaries" and that really has opened up my eyes to who God wants me to be and how I get that way. It is a great book for life lessons. As I'm studying that I can see through my life where I need to follow those boundaries and where to make some. I need to start making some and sticking with them but now I'm in the process of seeing where and who I can get help from for making me accountable for them. It is also teaching me how to be free in myself and how to let the people I'm around to be free without me controlling them.
          Then there was a situation not too long ago that made me certain of who my friends were. Sounds funny but when the devil tests you are could they really be your friends. Are you really mad at them or yourself? They did mess up with you. It was not their spot to say that, here is another friend that will give you what you want. I say to the devil, "yeah it might be what I want but the other friends gave me what I needed and they like me for me even when I mess up." I would not stop talking to that friend about my other friends and I thought about those friends a lot when talking to this other friend.
           Then there was this moment after all of this that I was turely at peace with everything again. I was happy just being around them and I missed that feeling. I have a feeling of I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me once I do set these boundaries and once I get my support group found. Why did I have to go through a year of doubt when everything was right in front of me after my first trip to Guatemala. I find myself thinking, "Dumbie" but sometimes we have to go through the storms to see that what we had before is what we were blessed with and we don't need anymore then that. Just a great job that makes and difference and friends to support that and then my dream and I have that. I've had that since I moved down here. I never want to take anything for granted again and if I do someone please wake me up. They have before and I'm sure they will do it again. :)